Guy Mannering; or, The Astrologer — Complete

by Walter Scott

  CHAPTER XV A prison is a house of care, A place where none can thrive, A touchstone true to try a friend, A grave for one alive Sometimes a place of right, Sometimes a place of wrong, Sometimes a place of rogues and thieves, And honest men among

  Inscription on Edinburgh Tolbooth

  Early on the following morning the carriage which had brought Bertram toHazlewood House was, with his two silent and surly attendants, appointedto convey him to his place of confinement at Portanferry. This buildingadjoined to the custom-house established at that little seaport, and bothwere situated so close to the sea-beach that it was necessary to defendthe back part with a large and strong rampart or bulwark of huge stones,disposed in a slope towards the surf, which often reached and broke uponthem. The front was surrounded by a high wall, enclosing a smallcourtyard, within which the miserable inmates of the mansion wereoccasionally permitted to take exercise and air. The prison was used as ahouse of correction, and sometimes as a chapel of ease to the countyjail, which was old, and far from being conveniently situated withreference to the Kippletringan district of the county. Mac-Guffog, theofficer by whom Bertram had at first been apprehended, and who was now inattendance upon him, was keeper of this palace of little-ease. He causedthe carriage to be drawn close up to the outer gate, and got out himselfto summon the warders. The noise of his rap alarmed some twenty or thirtyragged boys, who left off sailing their mimic sloops and frigates in thelittle pools of salt water left by the receding tide, and hastily crowdedround the vehicle to see what luckless being was to be delivered to theprison-house out of 'Glossin's braw new carriage.' The door of thecourtyard, after the heavy clanking of many chains and bars, was openedby Mrs. Mac-Guffog--an awful spectacle, being a woman for strength andresolution capable of maintaining order among her riotous inmates, and ofadministering the discipline of the house, as it was called, during theabsence of her husband, or when he chanced to have taken an overdose ofthe creature. The growling voice of this Amazon, which rivalled inharshness the crashing music of her own bolts and bars, soon dispersed inevery direction the little varlets who had thronged around her threshold,and she next addressed her amiable helpmate:--

  'Be sharp, man, and get out the swell, canst thou not?'

  'Hold your tongue and be d-d, you--,' answered her loving husband, withtwo additional epithets of great energy, but which we beg to be excusedfrom repeating. Then addressing Bertram--'Come, will you get out, myhandy lad, or must we lend you a lift?'

  Bertram came out of the carriage, and, collared by the constable as heput his foot on the ground, was dragged, though he offered no resistance,across the threshold, amid the continued shouts of the littlesansculottes, who looked on at such distance as their fear of Mrs.Mac-Guffog permitted. The instant his foot had crossed the fatal porch,the portress again dropped her chains, drew her bolts, and, turning withboth hands an immense key, took it from the lock and thrust it into ahuge side-pocket of red cloth.

  Bertram was now in the small court already mentioned. Two or threeprisoners were sauntering along the pavement, and deriving as it were afeeling of refreshment from the momentary glimpse with which the openingdoor had extended their prospect to the other side of a dirty street. Norcan this be thought surprising, when it is considered that, unless onsuch occasions, their view was confined to the grated front of theirprison, the high and sable walls of the courtyard, the heaven above them,and the pavement beneath their feet--a sameness of landscape which, touse the poet's expression, 'lay like a load on the wearied eye,' and hadfostered in some a callous and dull misanthropy, in others that sicknessof the heart which induces him who is immured already in a living graveto wish for a sepulchre yet more calm and sequestered.

  Mac-Guffog, when they entered the courtyard, suffered Bertram to pausefor a minute and look upon his companions in affliction. When he had casthis eye around on faces on which guilt and despondence and low excess hadfixed their stigma--upon the spendthrift, and the swindler, and thethief, the bankrupt debtor, the 'moping idiot, and the madman gay,' whoma paltry spirit of economy congregated to share this dismal habitation,he felt his heart recoil with inexpressible loathing from enduring thecontamination of their society even for a moment.

  'I hope, sir,' he said to the keeper, 'you intend to assign me a place ofconfinement apart?'

  'And what should I be the better of that?'

  'Why, sir, I can but be detained here a day or two, and it would be verydisagreeable to me to mix in the sort of company this place affords.'

  'And what do I care for that?'

  'Why then, sir, to speak to your feelings,' said Bertram, 'I shall bewilling to make you a handsome compliment for this indulgence.'

  'Ay, but when, Captain? when and how? that's the question, or rather thetwa questions,' said the jailor.

  'When I am delivered, and get my remittances from England,' answered theprisoner.

  Mac-Guffog shook his head incredulously.

  'Why, friend, you do not pretend to believe that I am really amalefactor?' said Bertram.

  'Why, I no ken,' said the fellow; 'but if you ARE on the account, ye'renae sharp ane, that's the daylight o't.'

  'And why do you say I am no sharp one?'

  'Why, wha but a crack-brained greenhorn wad hae let them keep up thesiller that ye left at the Gordon Arms?' said the constable. 'Deil fetchme, but I wad have had it out o' their wames! Ye had nae right to bestrippit o' your money and sent to jail without a mark to pay your fees;they might have keepit the rest o' the articles for evidence. But why,for a blind bottle-head, did not ye ask the guineas? and I kept winkingand nodding a' the time, and the donnert deevil wad never ance look myway!'

  'Well, sir,' replied Bertram, 'if I have a title to have that propertydelivered up to me, I shall apply for it; and there is a good deal morethan enough to pay any demand you can set up.'

  'I dinna ken a bit about that,' said Mac-Guffog; 'ye may be here langeneugh. And then the gieing credit maun be considered in the fees. But,however, as ye DO seem to be a chap by common, though my wife says I loseby my good-nature, if ye gie me an order for my fees upon that money Idaresay Glossin will make it forthcoming; I ken something about an escapefrom Ellangowan. Ay, ay, he'll be glad to carry me through, and beneighbour-like.'

  'Well, sir,' replied Bertram, 'if I am not furnished in a day or twootherwise, you shall have such an order.'

  'Weel, weel, then ye shall be put up like a prince,' said Mac-Guffog.'But mark ye me, friend, that we may have nae colly-shangie afterhend,these are the fees that I always charge a swell that must have hislib-ken to himsell:--Thirty shillings a week for lodgings, and a guineafor garnish; half a guinea a week for a single bed; and I dinna get thewhole of it, for I must gie half a crown out of it to Donald Laiderthat's in for sheep-stealing, that should sleep with you by rule, andhe'll expect clean strae, and maybe some whisky beside. So I make littleupon that.'

  'Well, sir, go on.'

  'Then for meat and liquor, ye may have the best, and I never charge abunetwenty per cent ower tavern price for pleasing a gentleman that way; andthat's little eneugh for sending in and sending out, and wearing thelassie's shoon out. And then if ye're dowie I will sit wi' you a gliff inthe evening mysell, man, and help ye out wi' your bottle. I have drankmony a glass wi' Glossin, man, that did you up, though he's a justicenow. And then I'se warrant ye'll be for fire thir cauld nights, or if yewant candle, that's an expensive article, for it's against the rules. Andnow I've tell'd ye the head articles of the charge, and I dinna thinkthere's muckle mair, though there will aye be some odd expenses ower andabune.'

  'Well, sir, I must trust to your conscience, if ever you happened to hearof such a thing; I cannot help myself.'

  'Na, na, sir,' answered the cautious jailor, 'I'll no permit you to besaying that. I'm forcing naething upon ye; an ye dinna like the price, yeneedna take the article. I force no man; I was only explaining whatcivility was. But if ye like to take the common run of the house, it's a'ane t
o me; I'll be saved trouble, that's a'.'

  'Nay, my friend, I have, as I suppose you may easily guess, noinclination to dispute your terms upon such a penalty,' answered Bertram.'Come, show me where I am to be, for I would fain be alone for a littlewhile.'

  'Ay, ay, come along then, Captain,' said the fellow, with a contortion ofvisage which he intended to be a smile; 'and I'll tell you now--to showyou that I HAVE a conscience, as ye ca't--d--n me if I charge ye abunesix-pence a day for the freedom o' the court, and ye may walk in't verynear three hours a day, and play at pitch-and-toss and hand ba' and whatnot.'

  With this gracious promise he ushered Bertram into the house, and showedhim up a steep and narrow stone staircase, at the top of which was astrong door, clenched with iron and studded with nails. Beyond this doorwas a narrow passage or gallery, having three cells on each side,wretched vaults, with iron bed-frames and straw mattresses. But at thefarther end was a small apartment of rather a more decent appearance,that is, having less the air of a place of confinement, since, unless forthe large lock and chain upon the door, and the crossed and ponderousstanchions upon the window, it rather resembled the 'worst inn's worstroom.' It was designed as a sort of infirmary for prisoners whose stateof health required some indulgence; and, in fact, Donald Laider,Bertram's destined chum, had been just dragged out of one of the two bedswhich it contained, to try whether clean straw and whisky might not havea better chance to cure his intermitting fever. This process of ejectionhad been carried into force by Mrs. Mac-Guffog while her husband parleyedwith Bertram in the courtyard, that good lady having a distinctpresentiment of the manner in which the treaty must necessarilyterminate. Apparently the expulsion had not taken place without someapplication of the strong hand, for one of the bed-posts of a sort oftent-bed was broken down, so that the tester and curtains hung forwardinto the middle of the narrow chamber, like the banner of a chieftainhalf-sinking amid the confusion of a combat.

  'Never mind that being out o' sorts, Captain,' said Mrs. Mac-Guffog, whonow followed them into the room; then, turning her back to the prisoner,with as much delicacy as the action admitted, she whipped from her kneeher ferret garter, and applied it to splicing and fastening the brokenbed-post; then used more pins than her apparel could well spare to fastenup the bed-curtains in festoons; then shook the bed-clothes intosomething like form; then flung over all a tattered patch-work quilt, andpronounced that things were now 'something purpose-like.' 'And there'syour bed, Captain,' pointing to a massy four-posted hulk, which, owing tothe inequality of the floor, that had sunk considerably (the house,though new, having been built by contract), stood on three legs, and heldthe fourth aloft as if pawing the air, and in the attitude of advancinglike an elephant passant upon the panel of a coach,--'there's your bedand the blankets; but if ye want sheets, or bowster, or pillow, or onysort o' nappery for the table, or for your hands, ye 'll hae to speak tome about it, for that's out o' the gudeman's line (Mac-Guffog had by thistime left the room, to avoid, probably, any appeal which might be made tohim upon this new exaction), and he never engages for ony thing likethat.'

  'In God's name,' said Bertram, 'let me have what is decent, and make anycharge you please.'

  'Aweel, aweel, that's sune settled; we'll no excise you neither, thoughwe live sae near the custom-house. And I maun see to get you some fireand some dinner too, I'se warrant; but your dinner will be but a puir anethe day, no expecting company that would be nice and fashious.' Sosaying, and in all haste, Mrs. Mac-Guffog fetched a scuttle of livecoals, and having replenished 'the rusty grate, unconscious of a fire'for months before, she proceeded with unwashed hands to arrange thestipulated bed-linen (alas, how different from Ailie Dinmont's!), and,muttering to herself as she discharged her task, seemed, in inveteratespleen of temper, to grudge even those accommodations for which she wasto receive payment. At length, however, she departed, grumbling betweenher teeth, that 'she wad rather lock up a haill ward than be fiking aboutthae niff-naffy gentles that gae sae muckle fash wi' their fancies.'

  When she was gone Bertram found himself reduced to the alternative ofpacing his little apartment for exercise, or gazing out upon the sea insuch proportions as could be seen from the narrow panes of his window,obscured by dirt and by close iron bars, or reading over the records ofbrutal wit and blackguardism which despair had scrawled upon thehalf-whitened walls. The sounds were as uncomfortable as the objects ofsight; the sullen dash of the tide, which was now retreating, and theoccasional opening and shutting of a door, with all its accompaniments ofjarring bolts and creaking hinges, mingling occasionally with the dullmonotony of the retiring ocean. Sometimes, too, he could hear the hoarsegrowl of the keeper, or the shriller strain of his helpmate, almostalways in the tone of discontent, anger, or insolence. At other times thelarge mastiff chained in the courtyard answered with furious bark theinsults of the idle loiterers who made a sport of incensing him.

  At length the tedium of this weary space was broken by the entrance of adirty-looking serving-wench, who made some preparations for dinner bylaying a half-dirty cloth upon a whole-dirty deal table. A knife andfork, which had not been worn out by overcleaning, flanked a cracked delfplate; a nearly empty mustard-pot, placed on one side of the table,balanced a salt-cellar, containing an article of a greyish, or rather ablackish, mixture, upon the other, both of stoneware, and bearing tooobvious marks of recent service. Shortly after, the same Hebe brought upa plate of beef-collops, done in the frying-pan, with a huge allowance ofgrease floating in an ocean of lukewarm water; and, having added a coarseloaf to these savoury viands, she requested to know what liquors thegentleman chose to order. The appearance of this fare was not veryinviting; but Bertram endeavoured to mend his commons by ordering wine,which he found tolerably good, and, with the assistance of someindifferent cheese, made his dinner chiefly off the brown loaf. When hismeal was over the girl presented her master's compliments, and, ifagreeable to the gentleman, he would help him to spend the evening.Bertram desired to be excused, and begged, instead of this gracioussociety, that he might be furnished with paper, pen, ink, and candles.The light appeared in the shape of one long broken tallow-candle,inclining over a tin candlestick coated with grease; as for the writingmaterials, the prisoner was informed that he might have them the next dayif he chose to send out to buy them. Bertram next desired the maid toprocure him a book, and enforced his request with a shilling; inconsequence of which, after long absence, she reappeared with two oddvolumes of the 'Newgate Calendar,' which she had borrowed from SamSilverquill, an idle apprentice, who was imprisoned under a charge offorgery. Having laid the books on the table she retired, and left Bertramto studies which were not ill adapted to his present melancholysituation.