by Fumio Sasaki
It isn’t just substances that are addictive. According to Jon Grant at University of Chicago Medicine, all things that give us an excessive reward—like excessive happiness (euphoria) or comfort—are addictive. Not just taking drugs, but eating particular foods, shopping, having sex, shoplifting, using social media—all these actions have an addictive nature. Put simply, the reason why I run is that it feels good, and you could say that I’m addicted to it.
You often become susceptible to addictions if the rewards come quickly
A characteristic of things that are easily addictive is that the rewards come quickly. In other words, a good feeling has immediate effects. If the euphoria that you get from liquor came six hours after drinking, fewer people would enjoy it. There wouldn’t be so many people hooked on social media if the “likes” arrived in your mailbox a month later.
It isn’t possible for your brain to differentiate whether “good dopamine” was incurred by exercise or “bad dopamine” was increased through drugs. Your brain only tells you to repeat the actions that resulted in the pleasure. So, it is necessary to explicitly consider what it is that we should quit doing.
The reason I quit drinking
The first habit that I wanted to quit was liquor. Mind you, I am in no way rejecting the culture associated with liquor, and I don’t believe that everyone should quit drinking right now. I would never think of something like that, even if my life depended on it. It’s just that for me, drinking had become something that I should stop doing.
I’ll continue to talk about quitting drinking as an example, and I hope that while reading, you will replace that with whatever it is you would like to quit doing, because the strategy for quitting something is generally the same.
Now, the tough thing about drinking is that everyone feels they have it under control and believes that alcoholism has nothing to do with them. Of course, there may only be a small number of people who start drinking in the morning. But as with anything else, no one starts to drink with the intention of becoming addicted. But addiction begins with the first sip. So, it should really be considered an issue that anyone may face.
I quit drinking about a year and a half ago. Although I had tried to stop drinking many times in the past, I just couldn’t do it. I really loved drinking, and I loved bars. But I wanted to quit because I wanted to get up early in the morning, a habit I always aspired to. They say Hemingway always got up early in the morning no matter how late he’d stayed up drinking, so if I had Hemingway’s discipline, then maybe I wouldn’t have had to quit.
Although you plan to finish drinking after one glass, it’s tough to actually stop there. That’s because our brain’s cooling system, which keeps our desires under control, becomes paralyzed by the alcohol. I wanted to live a regular life, but the quality of my mornings diminished because of hangovers; they never gave me a chance to acquire the habit of rising early. I didn’t like repeating that. I wondered if it was okay to have so many regrets in my life.
Step 3: Leverage turning points
I have now acquired various good habits, but once I move from my current home, I will probably have to redevelop them again. This is because I will have to recreate the triggers of habits that are tied to my current environment.
Conversely, it’s good to use a turning point—like moving—if you want to quit something. For me, the turning point in my journey to quit alcohol was an illness.
Alcohol is a drug, and it involves physical dependence. Therefore, it’s tough to quit with something simple like willpower. It’s the same as being unable to will yourself to stop eating when you’re so hungry that you feel you’ll die of starvation.
During a trip to Ishigaki Island in Okinawa, I caught the flu and spent most of my five days in bed. I had to cancel the diving that I had been looking forward to. Never mind liquor; I could barely eat my meals. But after spending those five days without liquor, I realized that I had less desire to drink than usual. I think those first five days are the toughest obstacle you face when you want to quit something.
I made use of this opportunity.
For twenty days after quitting, I still wanted to drink, and I would envy those who did. But a month later, I realized that even if I saw liquor, the desire to drink had disappeared. Naoki Numahata, with whom I run a blog, also quit drinking after he was hospitalized for dental treatment. I often hear similar stories about quitting smoking. You may feel down when you’re sick, but when you aren’t in the same physical condition that you’re usually in, you get a chance to quit habits that you’ve always wanted to be rid of.
Thinking about it now, it was being jilted by my girlfriend that served as an opportunity for me to let go of a massive amount of my things and become a minimalist. When I read my records from the time, I often went to places like temples—I guess I wanted to reexamine myself! Turning points like that will give us a push for change.
Letting go when you most want something
If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.
—Mark Twain
I think the timing was good when I quit drinking. It was January, and in my blog, I proclaimed right away that it was my New Year’s objective. The toughest period came first: there were New Year’s parties and a wedding. It helped that I had moved to the countryside. For a while, my only mode of transportation was walking or riding my bicycle, and there were no vending machines or convenience stores that I could quickly access. That type of environment helped. At a certain point, I even stopped having the desire to style my hair with wax, something I’d always done. I decided to use a date I had with a lovely lady as the day to quit that habit. It meant that I was able to let go when I most needed it, so I would be able to get by on other occasions.
The same thing applied to drinking. Since I’d reached a certain age, relationships with women always began with drinking; it was indispensable on dates. But once you get through that toughest day, you’ll be able to ignore any small desires that might develop in your daily life.
The climax, for me, was at a restaurant in New York, four months after I quit drinking. My previous work, Goodbye, Things, had been translated into English, and I went there to give a speech to commemorate its publication. We had a party with the local editor, his wife (to whom I owe much in the translation), and the agent. Celebrating a special thing in a special place like New York with special people doesn’t happen often in life. I was able to say no to liquor there, and I gained a real sense that I had completed my effort to quit drinking.
Step 4: Quit completely—it’s easier
The eighteenth-century writer Samuel Johnson said, when a friend suggested that he drink a little wine, that he couldn’t drink just a little. That was why he never touched it. In his case, it was easy to say no to drinking, but if he hadn’t, it would be difficult to control himself. I can relate.
If you only drink once or twice a week, you won’t have to give it up completely. But that wasn’t me. In trying to control my excessive drinking, I tried to come up with various exceptions because the idea of quitting completely was so sad. “It’s okay when I’m with my lover,” “It’s okay while traveling,” “Friends’ weddings are special,” “I’ll only drink beer from organic breweries or my favorite breweries,” and so on and so forth.
Think like this, and the exceptions will only increase in number; they’ll eventually become, “It’s okay if I’m with someone,” or “I’ll make today a special occasion.” The rules will become complicated, and you’ll end up thinking about whether or not something is allowed or if you should abstain. In other words, your awareness is called up—you have to spend time thinking about it—so it becomes difficult to continue to adhere to no-drinking as a habit.
The philosopher Immanuel Kant allowed himself to smoke a pipe just once a day, but it’s said that as the years went by, the pipe became bigger. If your rule has exceptions, it’s not the best rule.
Habits aren’t about being stoic or end
uring at all
People who love drinking make a lot of exceptions to drink because we know that drinking is fun. With that knowledge, abstinence is difficult. If something is fun, the days without it are days of endurance. Endurance is a state where there is no reward. People can’t keep doing things that offer no rewards.
A technique for quitting something is to refrain from using words that prohibit those actions. Rather than thinking that you mustn’t drink liquor, think: “I don’t have to drink anymore.” Turn your attention towards the pain you feel when you do drink, rather than the advantages you think you’ll miss out on when you don’t drink.
When I tell people I’m holding back from drinking, they often tell me that I’m stoic. But that isn’t the case. You could say I’m being stoic if I’m refusing a drink even though I’m tempted to have it. But as we saw in Chapter 1, people with strong willpower don’t get tempted in the first place. For example, let’s say I went to an izakaya bar.
•To drink
•To not drink
It isn’t as if I’m choosing not to drink after pondering whether or not to drink alcohol. Instead, I’m in a state where the part where I drink alcohol is colored in gray, and I can’t choose that option in the first place. I wrote earlier that when you take the same action repeatedly, the dendritic spine, which connects synapses in the brain, gets bigger. Conversely, if you don’t repeat your actions, it takes on a dormant state (this might be the reason why people who have overcome alcoholism often go back to their previous ways after a single drink).
I can no longer remember the refreshing sensation of beer or how good it felt to be tipsy, so I don’t have the desire to drink to begin with. At this point, I feel pretty similar to an elementary school student unable to understand why adults drink beer. I used to drink whiskey straight up, but now, I feel nauseated and shiver when I get a whiff of a drink with a high alcohol content.
These feelings are probably unimaginable for people who see liquor as irreplaceable. It’s the same as wondering why runners running under the blazing sun enjoy themselves.
There’s a theory that the only stress you can relieve by drinking or smoking is the stress of running out of liquor or cigarettes. I, too, used to believe that life would be about 70 percent less fun without alcohol. But clearly, that isn’t the case: children (who obviously do not drink) enjoy themselves. Pea sprouts will start to grow again if you clip them. In the same way, you can gain enjoyment again even after you lose something.
You might as well make a bold change if you can’t do it
While we’re on the subject of the importance of setting objectives, there’s a story I like that I want to share. Matsushita Electric (called Panasonic today) is said to have set up a plan to reduce its electricity bill by 10 percent in order to cut back on costs. This didn’t go well. When its executives gathered and discussed what they should and shouldn’t do, the company’s founder Konosuke Matsushita is said to have said: “All right. Then we will change our objective and aim for a reduction by half instead of 10 percent.” An objective of a 10 percent reduction is tough, because it involves superficial techniques. But to cut costs in half, the entire structure of the company needed to change. Then, finally, it could start to expect the desired results. This is similar to my belief that it’s easier to break certain habits completely, to quit cold turkey.
Step 5: Know that you always have to pay the price
When you look at the size of the things that you threw away or are trying to throw away, you’ll see the size of the things that you are trying to acquire.
—The Summit of the Gods
When you’re breaking or acquiring habits, it’s important to acknowledge that you can’t just focus on the positive points. Author John Gardner once said that you’ll always pay the price if you break the law, and you’ll always pay the price even if you abide by it.
For example, it’s very dangerous if you ride a bike without a helmet, and you might get caught by the police. But if you obey the law and wear a helmet, it’s safe but cramped, and the sense of freedom that’s unique to riding a bike without a helmet will fade away.
GOOD HABIT INHIBITOR: Trying to focus on just the good points
In the same way, I pay a price for staying off liquor. I don’t drink, even in fun situations or celebrations, which makes some people sad. I can fully understand that because back when I was fond of drinking, I thought that people who didn’t drink were no fun. The following are some of the reactions I received after I quit:
A friend: “Come on, it can’t hurt to drink just a little. Let’s drink.”
My mother: “I feel kind of lonely.”
Golden Gai in Shinjuku: “Quit your useless resistance!”
A French person: “Oh …”
Because I love things, I didn’t deny their value after I had parted with them myself. There are sometimes misunderstandings when people part with something popularly beloved, such as drinking. The more a person wants to quit a habit, the more they may look at someone who has successfully broken that habit and feel angry. People who are unable to clean up or part with their things will sometimes feel anger towards minimalists, and I believe it’s because some part of them is anxious about their own actions. They wouldn’t feel angry if they really thought they were doing the right thing.
Even though there are prices to pay for not drinking, there are many advantages, as well: creating a regular routine, improving my health, decreasing my expenditures and trash, avoiding drunken, problematic actions, maintaining a clear mind until the day’s end. More than anything, my days are now peaceful, and I don’t have to repeatedly deny the temptation to drink. When breaking a habit, it’s important to realize whether or not there’s something else that you want to prioritize, even if you have to pay a price for it.
Haruki Murakami runs every day, and he writes every day when he’s working on a novel. I hear he often turns down invitations from people who are close to him. He says, “People feel offended when I keep turning down their invitations.” But when writing a novel, the ties you have with large numbers of unspecified people—your readers—can be more important than ties you have to those close to you, and in giving priority to that, you pay the price of offending them. I relate with this completely.
Step 6: Examine the triggers and rewards for your habits
Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, wanted to break a certain habit. Every afternoon, he would go to a café, buy chocolate chip cookies, socialize with colleagues, and end up eating all the cookies. As a result, he gained several pounds. I’ll explain the general flow of how he broke this habit.
The problem routine itself is clear, that he ends up eating chocolate chip cookies. So, the first thing that needed to be done was to identify the trigger for this routine. As stated earlier, Duhigg breaks down triggers into the following five items:
•Place: Where was he?
•Time: What time was it?
•Psychological state: How was he feeling?
•Other people: Who else was there?
•Actions immediately before he ate the cookies: What had he been doing?
He took notes for several days and learned that he developed the craving at around three o’clock every day He then determined what the true reward was. There were various obvious rewards, like a diversion from work, the sugar in the cookies, building ties with colleagues, and so forth. But by reducing the rewards one by one, he could see what reward he’d truly wanted.
The true reward turned out to be chatting with colleagues as a diversion from work. So, he set his alarm for three o’clock, using that as a trigger. He made a habit of going over to his colleagues and socializing with them when the alarm went off. The chocolate chip cookies had not been a truly necessary reward for him.
The rewards from tweeting
If I don’t take any measures against doing so, I end up repeatedly checking Twitter. It’s not so much other people’s tweets but rather the responses to my o
wn tweets that feed this habit. While writing this book, ideas kept popping into my mind and I wanted to tweet about them. But if I tweeted all of them and kept checking the responses, I wouldn’t get anywhere with my manuscript.
So, I created a note on my smartphone called “Twitter.” I would write things there whenever something came to mind. The results were immediate. I thought I was using Twitter because I was happy to see “likes,” but a bigger reward was the ability to save my ideas. I was able to gain a considerable amount of satisfaction by simply tracking my thoughts, even if no one knew about them.
It’s difficult to do away with the desire to do something, or the desire for rewards. What we can change are the details of the routine. Something that’s helpful here is a tally app for smartphones. You tap the button, then the numbers simply increase: one, two, three. It’s an app that simply counts things.
If I get an urge to go on Twitter, I ignore it, open the app, and tap the button. I then feel a sense of achievement; it feels like a reward, and my desire stops for a moment. You can cross your legs, pick your nose, or whatever, but the tally app can be used to fix habits. You make it a routine to tap it if you want to do something. And at the end of day, you can gain a sense of satisfaction if you’ve accumulated a high number.