by Fumio Sasaki
GOOD HABIT INHIBITOR: An awareness of the difficulties
Let’s say you set out to do thirty push-ups and a two-mile run a day as your New Year’s resolution. The target itself is reasonable, and maybe you can keep it up for three days. Yet sooner or later, you may not be motivated to continue every day, because before you get started, you can’t help but imagine the muscle aches of the last two pushups or the heavy breathing of the final stretch of the last run. Naturally, your athletic abilities aren’t going to change after just a few days, and thus you become reluctant to get started, come up with excuses, and end up becoming a quitter. Knowing it will be difficult can prevent you from really even trying.
You might as well do a little more
As I mentioned earlier, the toughest thing to do is to get started. Your brain first gets motivated after you’ve started.
The same applies to tidying up and cleaning house. You have probably grappled with whether or not to tidy up and then ended up cleaning everything once you’ve gotten started. The Buddhist priest Sochoku Nagai put it like this: “Once you squeeze a rag, you tend to want to wipe that spot and then another spot.”
Stephen Guise, author of Mini Habits, suggests making your objectives ridiculously small. In order to get started, it’s smart to set your objective to do one push-up, even if you have a higher standard that you want to achieve, like thirty push-ups. It won’t be hard to start doing one push-up a day, and you might want to do another ten once you’re already in position.
GOOD HABIT INHIBITOR: The sense of self-doubt produced by one failure
There are also other advantages to setting small objectives. What’s most important in acquiring habits is to avoid feeling a sense of self-doubt. As we saw in Chapter 1, the negative emotion of self-doubt will damage your willpower and have a negative impact on your next action. Set your objective to just one pushup a day, and you can achieve your objective, instead of developing a sense of self-doubt if you really can’t do more than one pushup.
When I experience doubt, I make it my objective to simply go to where I need to be or to do only the first step of what I originally set out to do. I often told myself: “I can go home if I really can’t get in the mood after stepping into the gym.”
Seiko Yamaguchi, who provided the illustrations for this book, shared the following example: “My friend feels down on Mondays and always wants to take the day off. What she does is make it her objective to ‘go to the office and sit in a chair.’ She can manage to sit in a chair, and it’s natural to get to work once she does.”
A diary that you don’t want to write in
Actress Ryoko Kobayashi has been writing a diary in a foreign language for more than five years so she can practice that language. She says that, of course, there are days when she doesn’t feel like writing in her diary. When that happens, she starts writing that she doesn’t feel like writing that day.
Then, the next words begin to come. She can continue to give the reasons why she doesn’t want to write, such as, “Because I was very busy with my work.”
That’s one technique for getting started.
Step 19: Start today
Doing it tomorrow is a fool’s way.
—Operation Love
When you start doing something that you want to make a habit, you tend to want to start at a convenient time. Your New Year’s resolutions are one example. Why can’t we make our New Year’s resolutions on December 27? Isn’t it actually more efficient to start around November 15, when we start to get ideas for the New Year?
GOOD HABIT INHIBITOR: Starting at a “good” time
If we slack off at the office in the morning, we’ll likely tell ourselves that we’ll hustle in the afternoon or the following day. For some reason, we think that we’re already in a wretched state and decide that we might as well stay that way until starting anew.
Seasons are another excuse for putting things off. The cold winter is when things are toughest. We think: I’ll start when it gets warm. But when spring comes, hay fever makes things tough. Then, there’s what we in Japan call May disease, when people start to lose motivation after the new fiscal year begins in April. There’s too much rain during the rainy season, it’s too hot in summer, and it’s too melancholy in autumn. If you want to blame the seasons, you can continue to do so all year round.
For this reason, we want to start something at a good time: we can indulge in the joy of anticipation if we keep thinking that we’re going to start tomorrow or next week. It’s this “tomorrow” that’s the absolute king of convenient times.
I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll do it later. I’ll do it eventually. But when we look at it from yesterday’s perspective, today is this “tomorrow,” it’s “later” as seen from last week, and it’s “eventually” from last month. So, let’s start today. Our objective can be small. We can do a single pushup right now.
Step 20: Do it every day (it’s easier)
To go? To not to go? The answer’s decided. It’s either go or go.
—All-Rounder Meguru
When you quit something, it’s easier to quit it completely. With acquiring a habit, it’s the opposite—easier to do it every day.
People believe it’s easier to run once a week than to run every day. This is because they consider the level of difficulty as a sum of the amount of effort each action involves. Because there’s a preconception that it’s easier to do something two or three times a week rather than every day, they choose to gradually increase the frequency at which they do something. But, conversely, that boosts the level of difficulty. You end up getting caught in a pitfall. Why is that?
Let’s say for example that you decide to run twice a week. This is what you’ll be thinking: “Was today the day for my run? When was the last time that I ran?” “Today’s the day for my run, but as I don’t feel like it, I’ll make it up by running on three days next week.” You’ll end up performing a lot of calculations, and then making choices. Then, you’ll be stuck tossing a coin to make your decision.
You don’t waver if it’s every day
There’s no need to beat yourself up about when you should do something if it’s already decided that you’re going to do it every day.
As you continue to do it each day, it will become something that you want to do. Taking action each day is at the heart of the steps required to make something a habit. Perform the task every day until it becomes a habit, and then you can decrease the frequency as appropriate once it becomes something that you want to do voluntarily.
There will, of course, be people who are unable to suddenly start running. In a situation like that, you can start by walking five hundred meters each day. And your objective can be small, like slipping your feet into a pair of walking shoes every day. It’s also nice to make it a habit to walk home from an extra train station away.
It won’t become an unconscious habit if you don’t do it every day
I have trouble tying new guitar strings, but I don’t believe it’s very different from tying your shoelaces. I can tie my shoelaces without thinking about it, but I always tie my guitar strings while following a guide.
The difference here is frequency. While I tie my shoelaces every day, I can’t learn to tie my guitar strings because I only change them once every few months.
Although I don’t usually wear a tie, I think I can put it on without forgetting how to do it because I used to wear one every day when I was job-hunting, and did it often enough to keep being able to do it without conscious thought.
GOOD HABIT INHIBITOR: Thinking that tomorrow, you’ll be Superman
When we’re tired, or when something unexpected happens, we consider doing things the next day. It’s funny that for some reason, we feel that we’ll somehow be different tomorrow, as if we’ll wake up full of energy, radiant, like Superman. We think that our future selves will be able to do things better than our current selves. Credit card schemes use this way of thinking wisely: we conform to the idea that we�
�ll buy this today, but tomorrow, we’ll be able to better manage and save our money.
There’s an interesting story with regard to this issue. For some reason, Big Mac sales increased dramatically when salads were added to the menu. Apparently, many people reasoned that today, they’ll eat a Big Mac, but tomorrow, they’ll be logical and choose a salad. People felt more willing to buy a Big Mac with the mere addition of salads as an option.
I’ve had numerous failures myself, but still continue to think that I’ll be different tomorrow, so this is quite a deep-rooted problem. We must keep in mind that tomorrow, we’ll do the same things that we do today.
What if today continues to be repeated forever?
It is said that Steve Jobs continued to ask himself every morning for thirty-three years what he would have liked to do if today happened to be the last day of his life. I imitated him for a while, but got bored of it. When I wanted to acquire a habit, this is how I rearranged his idea: “What type of day would I want to spend if today went on forever?” I won’t be Superman tomorrow, and I’ll make the same choices that I make today. Today, a day in which I plan to put things off until tomorrow, will continue eternally.
Columnist Frank Crane wrote, as one of his ten daily resolutions, “Just for Today, I will be Happy.” “Just for today” is the opposite of “I’ll do it tomorrow.” It doesn’t matter if you don’t act tomorrow. But you do it, just for today. And then, you think the same way when tomorrow comes.
Step 21: Don’t make up “exceptions” as you go
While we may talk about making something a daily habit, there are plenty of things that come up unexpectedly. A family member might get sick, and there are also holidays. You might want to forget about your habits and simply enjoy yourself at Christmas or the New Year’s holiday. The important thing is to decide on your exceptions ahead of time rather than making them up as you go.
GOOD HABIT INHIBITOR: Creating an exception for the day in question
If you’re going to reward yourself, you should do so tomorrow, rather than in the spur-of-the-moment today. You won’t experience a sense of self-doubt if it’s predetermined, since you will have kept an earlier promise to yourself. When faced with seduction, people tend to think, “I can start to do better right after this,” or “It’s okay since today’s a special day.” But keep this up, and your habits will easily deteriorate.
Consider the conditions that stay the same
Although I love to travel, I haven’t traveled in a while as I struggled to acquire certain habits. This is because I felt it was possible these habits might deteriorate in a different environment before they became cemented. Conditions that could change include the lack of a gym, a lack of yoga mats, or the lack of a library. But there are some conditions that don’t change. For example, you can still choose the time that you get up in the morning, even when you’re on the road. It’s a hassle to rebuild your rhythm once you lose momentum, so I make it a habit to continue to get up early in the morning, even when I’m traveling. I also carry around my PC, so I can update my diary. Even if no yoga mats are available, I may simply do Sun Salutation on my futon.
The English historian Edward Gibbon continued his research while serving in the military. During marches he took along his books by Horace, and he researched philosophical theories in his tent. These may sound like impossible actions that only a dedicated individual would take, but we can learn from them.
Exceptions are important for spicing up your life
After a while, I began to think that my inability to perform certain daily habits during my travels was actually helpful in cementing them. When something becomes a daily habit, you begin to take it for granted and thus start to lose that feeling of achievement that you enjoyed at the beginning. A while ago, I went on a domestic trip for four nights and five days. Even a short trip like that required effort to get things back to normal once I arrived home. Getting to work and going to the gym can feel like a burden. But when you manage to do those things, you experience the sense of achievement that you felt when you first started to practice that habit. In this way, the occasional exception can bring on a sense of novelty and add a little spice to your life.
Step 22: Enjoy it because you aren’t good at it
I’m sure that in 10 years—at least in 10 years—you’ll be wishing you could go back and start over again.
Start over the future right now. You have now just come back from 10, 20, or 50 years later.
—Author unknown
Here’s a story I once heard: A ninety-year-old woman was asked what she regretted in her life. Her answer was: “I was thinking of learning to play the violin when I was around sixty, but I didn’t, thinking that it was too late.” Had she started then, she could have played the violin for thirty years.
GOOD HABIT INHIBITOR: Thinking that it’s too late to start
I started learning to play the guitar when I was thirty-seven. Sometimes, I wonder why I didn’t start at fifteen. I also began running marathons at thirty-seven, and if I had started at twenty and recorded a personal best time, I would probably never outdo it.
But for me, I consider satisfaction to be something else beyond how good my guitar skills are or how fast I can run a marathon.
Whether it’s something simple that a beginner does or something difficult performed by an expert, the satisfaction experienced is mostly the same. Joy isn’t something that you obtain from results. That’s why it’s good to start without being afraid. The best time to start is right now. I’m thinking about learning to play the piano. After thirty years of playing the piano, I should get reasonably good at it, don’t you think?
You want to take up yoga, but you can’t. As mentioned earlier, a typical excuse will be “because I have a stiff body.” But yoga is said to be more enjoyable for people whose bodies are stiff. What does that mean? Well, a dancer with a pliant body will, of course, manage the positions right away. But the purpose of yoga is “tying together” the mind and the body, not striking poses.
A person with a stiff body turns their attention to their body and starts to become aware of the voice that the body releases. Nothing is as much fun as being aware of changes happening to your own body. Yoga is something that people with stiff bodies can really enjoy. It might be somewhat similar to me envying people who are about to start reading Slam Dunk.
Step 23: Set triggers
When acquiring a new habit, it is particularly effective to use a habit that you already have as a trigger.
A friend of mine says he does squats when he uses his hair dryer every day. I suggest you get rid of things that you don’t need while brushing your teeth. You can brush your teeth with one hand. The three minutes you spend brushing your teeth are enough to walk around finding things that you don’t need.
GOOD HABIT INHIBITOR: Not having a trigger
You might feel slightly irritated if you haven’t tidied up, but it won’t kill you. Speaking English is probably a good skill, but not yet a necessity for surviving at a Japanese company. It’s hard to make things like these—in cases where you aren’t desperate—a habit. Thus, we need to intentionally create triggers to start taking action.
I study English before I go to work. I feel guilty if I’m late for this “English lesson.” That’s why I try to get it done promptly.
My nukazuke pickles need to be stirred every day, but it’s easy to forget to do it until it becomes a habit. What I used as a trigger was looking at the eggs in my fridge. I eat eggs for breakfast every morning, so I tied in the act of looking at the eggs to stirring my nukazuke pickles. It’s similar to programming. I write in my memory that I am to do X when I see Y. The trigger for my habit later changed to eating nukazuke every day.
“Chain-making”: Tying habits together
When I wake up in the morning, the first thing in my field of vision is the yoga mat I laid out before retiring the night before. That serves as a trigger, and I start to do yoga. Once I finish, I sit on the m
at and start meditating. And when I put away the yoga mat under my bed, I see the floor, and it’s with that image of the floor that I start to vacuum. When I’ve finished vacuuming, my mind holds on to the image of cleanliness, and I proceed to take a shower. The actions that I take at the end of a routine serve as triggers for starting my next habit. And I tie those habits together like I’m linking a chain. I call this “chain-making.”
Writing a letter to myself
I prepare for the first thing I’ll be doing when I get up in the morning the night before. In winter, I set the timer on my heater to a comfortable temperature to make it easy to get up. I’ll be hungry and exhausted after I’ve gone to the gym, so I make a protein shake ahead of time so I can drink it as soon as I get home.
Taking advance actions to prepare for when you’ll need a little endurance is essentially a message to yourself to go at it again today, to give yourself a pat on the back afterwards. It’s like writing a letter to yourself.
Step 24: Create an adult timetable
A plan relieves you of the torment of choice.