by Fumio Sasaki
Making good use of attention from the people around us
I’ll start by offering a common example. A friend of mine says she manages her hair with a lot of care when she has a good-looking hairdresser.
You’re not likely to receive results from hair care in a short period. Because the rewards are far off, there are times you might fail to keep it up. Even if we aren’t particularly conscious of those around us as people we might find attractive, we tend to take note of their attention. They’ll be disappointed if we get lazy with our hair care, and they’ll praise us if we make an effort.
There are various things that people will see as rewards, and among them, interaction with others and judgment of others are really significant. Why is it that we are so worried about how others see us?
Why are we so worried about other people’s judgment?
It’s easy to pin our preoccupation with the judgment of others to the need to feel like part of a group, a major force for our existence. Because we humans spent a large part of our history in communities comprising dozens of members, we are terribly concerned about our positions and evaluations within those groups. As some people could barely hunt on their own, exclusion from such groups posed a threat to their lives.
Even highly intellectual people strongly object when an anonymous person, who means nothing to them, criticizes them. Criticism on social media is akin to being the subject of bad rumors within the small communities to which people used to belong. They’re being “dragged down” from their positions.
People are attracted to gossip because gossip, spreading bad rumors, and dragging someone down offers them a taste of honey.
Prioritizing the community over the risk of death
Despite potential risks, sometimes even that of death, people will occasionally still answer to their communities’ expectations. In 1964, college students throughout the United States applied to take part in the Mississippi Summer Project, a voter registration drive for Black people. But due to the possibility of harm caused by radical white people (three volunteers were actually killed), three hundred out of the thousand students who had been accepted declined.
Sociologist Doug McAdam studied the differences between the students who declined and those who took part despite the risks. First, there were no significant differences in the motivation to take part. Personal situations such as work and marriage status were also irrelevant. The difference was the community that the students belonged to. Those who took part belonged to communities that had expected that they would go to Mississippi.
Doug McAdam noted that when someone had friends and acquaintances in a political or religious community, their social status would have been significantly damaged if they didn’t go. They would have lost respect from those who were important to them. Of course, they must have also been passionate about equality for Black people. But that hadn’t been all; their desire to sustain their reputations within their communities had given them a push to participate in something so high-risk.
The only way to achieve results in sports
If you want to achieve results in sports, it is crucial to belong to a team with high standards. The sociologist Daniel Chambliss spent six years accompanying competitive swimmers at their practices and interviewing them. He asserts that in order to become a great swimmer, there is no choice but to join a great team. “When you’re in an environment where everyone around you gets up at four o’clock and goes to practice, it will be natural for you to start doing that, too. It becomes a given,” he says.
When you belong to a team with high standards, you’ll try to keep in step with the group and improve yourself through friendly rivalry.
The same applies to the general public. We can look for a team according to our standards. If you’re going to run laps around the Imperial Palace, it’ll be easier to keep it up when you find someone to run with.
Using a social media community
It’s effective to use not only a physical community but also a social media community to motivate you. The first time I attempted to take part in a full marathon, I tweeted my intent. That was a pretty conscious decision. I planned on tweeting the results from the marathon, too.
My first marathon, held in Naha, was harsh, with only half the runners able to complete the race amid high temperatures. I got cramps in both legs and my feet swelled and puffed up in my shoes. At the time, I had around five thousand Twitter followers, and the idea that I would be letting them down if I gave up helped me finish the race. I might have retired during the race if I’d quietly taken part, with nobody knowing.
To motivate yourself, you can also keep a “diary for the future.” Sometimes, I post on social media that I’ve gotten rid of something before I actually get rid of it. Then, the guilty feeling of inconsistency between reality and social media becomes a punishment that motivates me to actually complete the action.
How is it that Sō Takei can continue to hustle?
Despite his busy life in show business, Sō Takei is said to take an hour a day for physical training and another hour for researching things he doesn’t know. He is capable of doing so because he doesn’t want to disappoint his followers (1.3 million as I write this). But you don’t need quite so large a following as that of Mr. Takei.
People have used small groups of tens of people and villages as units of communities, which remains effective, even if you use just one other person’s expectations as motivation.
A community can consist of just one person
Once, I decided to cut out sweet foods from my diet and formed a “sugar fast league.” I made a promise with a friend, who had also been trying to stop eating sweets, that we would report to each other if we caved in. We made the penalties clear and easy to understand. This may sound terrible, but I told him, “If you break this promise, I’ll look at you like this: humph, that’s all you amount to.” The same applied if I broke our promise. It was useful to imagine the other person’s face when holding back from eating sweets. That friend actually continues to stay away from sweets today.
I’ve recently discovered a system called “pair reading,” in which two people read the same book for a prearranged amount of time, such as thirty minutes. They then discuss the book. They don’t have to meet in person, and they can have discussions online. Despite the time constraints, they need to gain a deep understanding of the book so they can discuss it, and they must also organize their thoughts, which makes it possible to read with greater motivation than solo reading.
Your actions will change if you aren’t being watched
The conduct of a person will change to a frightening degree depending on whether their actions or results are being seen.
•A person will correct their posture and mind their manners if they think they’re being watched.
•A person will progress in their work if there are people around them, like in a café or a library, and they’ll slack off if they’re at home.
•It’s easy to say bad things about someone if it’s anonymous.
•A person can get bad-tempered or sing in a loud voice if they’re in an enclosed space inside a car.
People worry about being watched by others. Being concerned about your reputation within a community is human instinct. Although it’s sometimes tough to care about others’ opinions of you, you can use this instinct consciously to produce tremendous force.
Step 29: Make an advance declaration
Making an advance declaration of something that you should do is a variation of the method of using people’s attention to motivate yourself, and it’ll effectively produce results.
When the figure skater Yuzuru Hanyu competed at the Japan Figure Skating Championships in 2008, he placed eighth and made the following declaration:
“Japan has the Olympic gold medal won by Shizuka Arakawa, so I’d like to become the second Japanese Olympic gold medalist.” He was fourteen at the time, and although his comments were viewed as the words of a child and weren
’t widely reported, Mr. Hanyu is very good at using this type of power of words.
I also made an advance declaration when I set out to write this book. I’ll admit here that I finally got serious after I wrote in my blog ahead of time, “The topic of my next work will be habits.” Creating a deadline is the same thing as making effective use of a community, because failing to meet a deadline causes trouble for all the people involved.
You hustle if you make a public declaration because you don’t want people to think of you as a liar or lazy. Without a declaration or a deadline, I doubt that this book would have gotten published.
Creating penalties with commitments
Ian Ayres, author of Carrots and Sticks: Unlock the Power of Incentives to Get Things Done, created a business with the system of making advance declarations. You also establish big penalties for not achieving your goals; for example, if you set an objective to lose a certain amount of weight and fail, you pay a thousand-dollar penalty. It’s also effective to set up penalties such as making a donation to a political group you hate if you smoke a cigarette while trying to quit. In Ayres’s service, you register the details online and a third party evaluates your progress.
This is effective for issues like dieting or quitting smoking, where you would be happy if you succeeded but aren’t faced with major penalties if you don’t. With objectives like this, it’s important to make the details and the penalties fairly big. Otherwise, you’ll end up saying, “So I can quit dieting if I pay a hundred dollars, right?” This system of commitment is advertised by some gyms, who say that that’s why they have members pay large amounts of money in advance.
Step 30: Think from a third-party perspective
I’m okay with that, but I wonder what YAZAWA would say?
—Eikichi Yazawa
We don’t have just one personality.
As I mentioned earlier, our brain has an instinctive hot system and a logical cool system, and when one is activated, the other is deactivated. We should remember that it’s this “parliamentary session” held in our consciousness that guides our actions.
In trying to control your actions, it might be helpful to give names to these two forces, like the musician Eikichi Yazawa does. I’m monitored by the other “me.” “Aw, this is a drag, I wanna quit. But what would Fumio say?”
There are a variety of ways to employ a third-party perspective like that.
•A future self who does the thinking
Yoshiki Ishikawa, a doctor of preventive medicine, says that when he’s tempted by something, “I have the person that I’ll be in thirty years ask me about it.” When faced with a choice between going for a drink or focusing on his research, he finds that it becomes easier to choose his research by asking himself a question from the perspective of his future self.
•A person who watches over you
Author Gretchen Rubin says that, when she isn’t sure whether to accept an assignment, she ponders, “What does my manager say?” In the film My Golden Days, there’s a line that goes like this: “Address yourself like an older brother who watches over you.” It might be helpful to consider things as if you were your older brother, someone who isn’t too easy on you and occasionally gives you tough advice.
•An imaginary camera
“What would I do if I were in the middle of filming for America’s Got Talent?” “What would I do today if I were preparing for a close-up in Vogue?” I wouldn’t be lying around or picking my nose if I were about to go on stage in front of judges and a live studio audience. I might be extra-diligent about my skincare routine if we were shooting a full-color spread next week.
•What would a person you respect do?
Billy Wilder, known for directing works like Some Like It Hot, had a sign posted in his office that said, “What would Lubitsch have done?” Film director Ernst Lubitsch had been Wilder’s mentor. Wilder must have considered things from his mentor’s perspective when he got stuck in a script. Mentors change with each generation. Japanese filmmaker Koki Mitani is said to think, “What would Billy Wilder do?”
A person who has a strong sense of faith likely has strong self-control; they probably feel that even if no one is physically watching them, they’re always being watched by God. This idea is expressed in the Japanese phrase “Otento-sama ga miteiru,” meaning that the sun or God is watching you. Occasionally considering things from a third-party perspective isn’t a technique that will change you fundamentally, but it’s one way to get yourself to pause for a moment at a difficult, crucial moment.
Step 31: Quit in the middle of something
When my habits are on track to getting cemented, I gain a sense of contentment. For example, when exercising, I’ll feel that I can go on running forever. But if I decide to test my limits and run until I’m exhausted, I know I’ll get the impression that running is too strenuous, which will have an impact on the next time I run.
It’s more important than anything to continue our habits, so I stop when I think I want to do more. I quit while I’m at around 80 percent. That way, I’ll stop the action with the impression that it’s fun. I don’t practice the guitar or study English until it becomes painful. Because of this, I’m motivated to study or practice again the next day. I don’t keep going until it isn’t fun anymore.
Muscles develop further when they go beyond their limits and are hurt. Top athletes undergo tough practices beyond their comfort zones, but that lies far ahead, in a future time when we have already acquired our habits. Quitting in the middle of something is effective for developing the habit in the first place.
Hemingway quit, too
Hemingway also quit in the middle of things. He discussed his work style in a magazine interview once: First, he would read what he wrote earlier. Since he always stopped writing at a place where he knew what would happen next, he could continue to write from there. And with energy still remaining, he would write as far as he knew what would happen next and then quit.
Hemingway was well versed in the difficulty of getting started. So if he started where he knew what would happen next, he didn’t need to dwell on the issue. As long as you’re able to get started, the brain will begin to concentrate. This can also be applied to business.
Although we tend to want to finish up and go home after we’ve made good progress, it would mean that we would have to start anew the next day. If you’re going to write a proposal, rather than completing it, it’s better to stop somewhere along the way in order to get a good start the next day.
Haruki Murakami is disciplined when it comes to quitting in the middle of something
Haruki Murakami shares that philosophy, and he’s strict about it. He is said to quit writing when he’s written four thousand characters (ten pages on Japanese manuscript paper). He explained in a long magazine interview:
“I somehow write ten pages, even when I’m at eight pages and feel that I can’t write anymore. I don’t write more, even if I want to. I save that desire to write more for the next day.” Even if he writes six pages and finishes writing a chapter with dramatic development, he’ll continue to write four pages of the next one. In summary, he writes by predetermined volume and doesn’t quit where it’s convenient according to content.
The novelist Anthony Trollope said, “A small daily task, if it be really daily, will beat the labors of a spasmodic Hercules.” It feels good to accomplish a lot in a day. But rather than taking the occasional adventure, focus on making small, daily steps, and you’ll arrive at a destination that’s farther away in the long run.
Step 32: Don’t quit completely
Each lapse is like the letting fall of a ball of string which one is carefully winding up; a single slip undoes more than a great many turns will wind again.
—William James
When Nippon Professional Baseball goes off-season, all the players return to their hometowns. But even during off-season, Ichiro alone shows up at the ballpark and starts his training.
“I once tr
ied to take time off. To see if it would help, I didn’t work out for a month. Then it didn’t feel like my body anymore. As if my body were sick,” he said.
Ichiro tried different methods at least once, but ultimately did the opposite of what other players do. He is a true seeker of truth. What’s important to him is to not quit completely.
The novelist John Updike also made it a habit to write every day, instead of waiting for inspiration. The reason was, there’s so much busy work a writer can do, “You can actually spend your whole life being a writer and totally do away with the writing.”
A boar you see for the first time that year is dangerous
I once heard a story from a hunter named Shinya Senmatsu. In Japan, hunting season is limited to the few winter months. Senmatsu says that, when he faces a boar for the first time in a year at the beginning of each new season, he wonders, “Were boars always this frightening?”
For me, this consistently renewed fear also applies to writing books. I tried to figure out why. When I started writing a new manuscript for the first time in about two years, it occurred to me how tough it was. I learned that it was far easier, and far less frightening, to do something if the wheels hadn’t stopped turning completely.