by E M Garcia
“What does that mean?”
“The best example I've got is our first drop. It went bad, really bad. Our intel was rotten and we ended up stuck overnight in the system of caves. We were trying to find our way out when we came across two unfriendlies. Both of them were armed and mean as hell. I pulled my weapon and I don't care who they were, I wasn't getting killed on an alien planet with a plasma blade because I let my guard down.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Damnedest thing he moved between me and them. If I was going to shoot them I was going to have to go through him.”
“Seems pretty far to go to prove a point,” I said.
“He wasn't proving a point, he was saving lives, there is an much. I think you need to do about Jack is everyone on the ship except for you and Dr. Kimball has a story just like that. We all went through things we'd rather not talk about. Jack was always there to pull out asses or souls out of the fire. He kept us in the light.”
“What you do in the dark always comes to light.” I washed my bite of sandwich down with a little girl booty gesturing to Alix for a second to answer his puzzled expression.
“My father had a saying for every occasion. That was his favorite whenever he busted me doing something I shouldn't have been.”
“Yeah, Jack dropped that one on me a couple of times too.” Alix lowered his head. “I owe you an apology, Tam.”
I blinked in surprise both at the statement and the use of my nickname. “What for?”
He took a deep breath and looked at me. His blue eyes glimmered in the dim light. It took me a few second to realize they were unshed tears. “Jack wasn’t just my commanding officer, the man was my best friend. If should have been there for you and J’Selle, but…”
Alix sank his teeth into his bottom lip, cutting off the last part of his sentence. I reached for his hand, letting my finger drape over his.
“It’s alright, Alix. I promise, I’m fine.” I would have said anything to make the pain leave his eyes. The Wreckers were the fiercest soldiers in the galaxy. Now their rightful leader in front of me broken by a promise he had never made.
“You aren’t,” he said, pulling his hand away after a long moment. “But I should have expected you to say that. Cages are nothing if not loyal,” he said. “There's no way in hell you turn in the Lady in.”
Alix’s words hit me like a bucket of cold water. How had Alix seen through me so easily? I needed to remember that the Wreckers were more experienced at reading people. Their lives had depended on it in the field. I smiled and took my sandwich and tea from the counter. “I should get some sleep before we come out of the nebula. Thanks for the sandwich, LT.”
A decade of diplomatic training and pure will kept the look of shock off my face, but I didn’t trust myself to stay longer. Alix Barnes’s company was too inviting, even if our shared loved one gave it a painful edge.
He called to me as I reached the exit. “I’m here this time, Tam. Whatever you need, I’m here.”
15
After my talk with Alix I went back to my room, but I couldn’t get the conversation out of my mind. Even after I polished off my sandwich and tea—and contemplated getting seconds—I couldn’t let myself unwind. LT was on my side, but I needed at least one more Wrecker to bring the ship back into balance. I needed one more of J’Selle’s teammates to chose me over her if I wanted to feel safe. The Demon wouldn’t be as nice about his second refusal. Gale couldn’t let go of his suspicions about Price. That left Daq’usk of Ithil, the Wrecker I had the hardest time reading.
There wasn’t a song in my collection with a beat heavy enough to drum this tension away. I needed a change of scenery, but none was due for at least three weeks…or however long it took to get J’Selle to an Alliance facility. It was time to get creative.
After putting my dinner dishes to the side to deal with in the morning, I left my cabin and headed for the cockpit. I frowned as I saw Mac curled up in his chair. His head had flopped to the side, obscuring his eyes beneath the brim of his cap. It had taken me a year to get him to give up the habit when he first came back on board. One rouge stealth ship and we were back to square one. Except this time, the poor man hadn’t worked a proper watch in almost a decade.
I tapped him gently on the shoulder. “Come on, old man. There’s a bunk with you’re name on it.”
Mac shook his head and turned onto his side. “That ship might still be out there. You need me on watch.”
“I’ll be up for a few more hours,” I said. “And if you’re still not up when I go down, Cal will be here. Don’t make me order you.”
Mac opened is eyes to slits and threw a dirty look at me from under his hate. “You never give me orders.”
“Because you never make me.” I tilted my head to the side and flashed my sweetest smile. “Now, get going.”
“I’m going,” Mac grumbled as he climbed to his feet.
I slid into the pilot chair and leaned back. The firm leather seemed to grasp my shoulders. I closed my eyes, sighing as a feeling of contentment washed over my body. It wasn’t quite as good as being back in a fighter or my racer on N’Cali, but Cal’s pilot seat always did in a pinch.
Mac didn’t know how often I indulged my habit. If he had, he would have called out my hypocrisy. He might even point out that I only wanted him out of the chair so it was open for me. I knew he would find out eventually, but that was future Tam’s problem. Present Tam had enough to worry about already.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and let it all fall away. J’Selle, that damn AI in my safe, Price, the stealth ship, Gale and his suspicions. One by one, they all drifted from my mind until one problem remained, Daq’usk of Ithil. The image of his satiny green skin and jet black scales wouldn’t budge.
I thought of Daq in J’Selle’s living room on Aurora. His earthy scent flooded my scenes as visions of him swirled in my mind. He stretched out on the worn carpet, but instead of squinting in pain, his eyes raked over my body. His forest green lips spread in a seductive smile the let a sliver of his pointed teeth come into view. I wanted to feel those teeth graze my skin, those lips over mine. It had been so long since I’d been with anyone, and I had never taken a Knaewa as a lover. How would his scaly skin feel against mine?
“You’ve been calling to me, Tameron,” he said. The equipment cast shadows across his face as he stalked forward. “Most of the evening, in fact.”
Damn it, real smooth Tam. I opened my eyes and turned to find Daq’Usk of Ithil had wandered out of my daydreams and onto the bridge. The real version had opted for a black tank top instead of a bare chest, but it showcased his muscles just as effectively.
“I…didn't mean to.” Licking my dry lips, I climbed to my feet. As commanding officer, the bridge was my domain, but I had to fight the urge to shrink in on myself. Suddenly, I was ashamed one of the Wreckers had caught me. I wasn’t sure if it was shame over the location or how often I had been thinking about him…and what exactly I have been thinking.
I forced a smile to my face and tried to quiet my mind. It wasn’t safe to let my thoughts wander too far around him. “Actually I'm not even sure how that happened.”
“Involuntary connections can happen, but they’re rare.” He tilted his head to the side. “It requires particular the minds to have an affinity for one another.”
“So, you’re saying you find my brain comfortable?” I wrinkled my brow and mulled over how to take his statement.
“Interesting would be a better word.” He walked toward me, each footfall matching the rhythm of my heartbeat. “Why are you on the bridge, Ambassador?”
All of the Wreckers had a habit of calling me that, but it sounded sweetest from Daq’usk’s lips. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to lean forward and bury my nose in his neck. Alix was right, I had let myself get wound too tightly. Developing an attraction to one of Jack’s teammates wasn’t the way to handle it.
“Sometimes I keep the seat warm whe
n Mac’s in his bunk.” I leaned back against the pilot seat, hoping the distance would tampen my raging hormones.
“You fly the Cal?” He stepped forward again, bridging the gap I’d created between us.
“Cal handles most of the flying,” I said. “I’m just an extra pair of eyes in case something happens.”
“But you are a pilot.” He said the words as they were an affirmation rather than a question.
I swallowed. “Not technically, and what little flying I’ve done hasn’t been on a ship this big.”
With my back already against the pilot seat, I had nowhere to flea when Daq’usk stepped forward again. I wouldn’t have wanted to even if I had. His earthy scent wafted to me, calling me to him.
“Was there something you wanted to tell me?” There was a slight teasing edge to his voice.
“I need you on my side,” I said, blurting the first thing that came to my mind. “I don't know why I just do.”
“Now that, I don't believe. You have ideas. Perhaps you can't chose the most likely or you already have and don't care to share.
“I thought you had to touch me to read my mind.”
Daq reached up and removed his googles. “I don’t need to read you’re mind in this case, Tameron. A woman like you always has ideas.”
His eyes settled on me. I had only seen them once, but this was different. There was only pain in his eyes the night he picked me up off J’Selle’s floor. Now, his gaze seemed to burn with desire. It pierced right through me, leaving me nowhere to hide. I shivered and resisted the urge to look away.
“What will you do with the AI?” He asked.
The return of the conversation to J’Selle and the AI finally did what my self control couldn’t. I released a breath as my desire cooled and I lowered myself into the pilot seat.
“I don’t have a choice,” I said. “It wasn’t J’Selle’s to take and it’s not mine to give. The best I can do is get her to the cloister facility before anybody knows it’s gone.”
“That’s more mercy than most would give their enemies.” Daq sat in the co-pilot seat, angling his body toward mine.
“Are you saying I'm in a battle?” I absolutely in a battle, but I did’t know the stakes or my allies yet. Was I fighting for my family or my soul? How could I ask anyone to be on my side, when even I wasn’t sure what it meant. The more questions that sprang to my mind, the more my body yearned for comfort.
Daq must've sensed my confusion. He raised his hand placing it gently on my cheek. “I'm sorry. I've been alone for a very long time. I've forgotten what things shouldn’t be said.”
I shook my head, finally giving in to the instinct to lower my eyes. His cool fingers raised goosebumps on my skin. “I started it. You said it yourself, I called for you.”
“To me….” Daq leaned forward, pressing his full lips against mine.
Conflicting thoughts exploded in my brain, warring with the waves of mild pleasure flowing through my body. I expected Daq’s cool skin to feel scaly, but it was like he caressed me with raw silk. I reeled, torn between guilt over how much I enjoyed the sensation and a burning need to feel it everywhere on my body. He pulled away sooner than I would have liked, but far too late for me to save my dignity.
He raised an eyebrow, no doubt in response to my stunned expression. “Did I misunderstand?”
I shook my head and took a breath, willing my heartbeat to return to normal. This could not happen. “It’s not that you were wrong. I’m just…busy.”
“I see.” He released a heavy sigh and unwound his arms from around me. “I admire you’re self control, Ambassador.”
Daq’usk of Ithil climbed to his feet and turned to go. His light footsteps barely registered over the hum of the Cal’s engine, but with each one my mind screamed at me to stop him. I clasped my hands against the armrests and pressed myself back against the chair. It was just an physical instinct. It would pass.
“There’s a question I’ve been meaning to ask,” Daq said. “The house at the base of the mountain, what happened there?”
I shivered again, but this time it had nothing to do with desire. “Hell of a story. Maybe I’ll tell you sometime.”
Something about Daq’s nod made me wonder if he knew some of the story already. When he left the bridge, I leaned back in the pilot seat again and closed my eyes. A single song wouldn’t touch the tension my encounter with Daq left behind. I would need damned near an entire catalouge.
16
When I went back to my cabin that night to sleep, I couldn't find peace. I beat out seven of my hardest driving songs on my desk. My arms ached and sweat covered my body, but my mind was just as clouded as before. When I finally closed my eyes, it wasn't the house from my childhood that haunted my dreams; it was Daq.
In my dreams he kissed me again, this time I didn't stop him. His kisses moved down my chin and across my neck, pausing to deliver an extra kiss to every spot that drew a shiver. He unzipped uniform and let it fall over my shoulders. As he came to my breast and looked up into my eyes, prickles of cold electricity worked their way through my spine.
Just as Daq’s fingers slid into the bad of my underwear, he paused. A wicked grin appeared on his lips.
“What is it?” My voice came out in a breathless gasp. I didn’t really care what amused him, as long as he put his hands on me again.
He tilted his head to the side. I followed his gaze to find a copy of him standing a few feet away from the bed, watching us. But this one was the real Daq’usk of Ithil.
I wanted the real thing. The sharp sound of my door chime ripped through the dream. Both Daq'usks disappeared in puffs of black smoke. Come on!
I opened my eyes and flew out of bed. I stomped to the door determined to give an earful to whoever had pulled me out of the best dream I'd had in months. When the door swung open, Daq’usk of Ithil stood on the other side.
“Did I call for you again?” Stupid question. I could still feel echoes of pleasure from his dream double’s lips on my body. How could he not have heard me? The Cal was a big ship, but not that big.
“To me, Tam. “ He reached for my waist, moving slowly enough to give me time to avoid his touch. “There is a difference.”
"What's the difference?" I moved closer to him, responding to his challenge with one of my own.
His fingers slid up to my hair, tangling in my wild curls. I moved onto my toes, claiming his lips as easily as he had mine. Daq's spine stiffened. He pulled me closer, pinning me against his body.
"That I want to do those things you've been imagining just as badly as you want me to do them." His husky voice echoed in my ears, sending a shiver of anticipation through me. “No indecision this time, Ambassador?”
"It's just one night." Even as the words left my mouth, I wasn't sure I meant them. I needed them to be true, but I didn't want them to be.
I pawed at the wall until my hand found the sensor and slid the dimmer switch down to almost nothing.
"As you wish, Tam." Daq's mouth met mine again as he pulled me off my feet. I unlatched his goggles and pushed them away from his face, letting them clatter to the floor.
I felt a rush of cool air as his mind opened to me, like it had on Aurora. A wave of desire flowed through. I moaned as his hands slid lower, craddling the curve of my thigh. He carried me to the bed, slowly laying me on the matress. His kissed his way over my chin and down my neck, stopping draw circles with his tongue across the sensitive flesh before kissing lower.
"Can you see me in this light?" The words sent a gust of cool air over my hot skin.
I rose on my elbows and looked at his shadow figure. "Not really."
"That won't do."
In the darkness, I couldn't see the teasing smile on his lips, but I could hear it in his voice. His hand snaked forward, fingers catching the hem of my tank top and pulling it aside as he moved. He traced a circle around my breast, squeezing gently before continuing the path up past my collar bone. His fingers came to rest a
gainst my temple.
"Close your eyes, Tam," he whispered.
I did. His mined reached for mine again, tugging it toward him. I was in the void again, but it was different from the one in my dream. This void didn't feel empty. It pulsed and throbbed with a dark, heated energy. Daq'usk was with me. I felt his chilled presence gather around me, condenscing until he stood behind me with his lips pressed the the base of my neck. His silken textured skin brushed against mine. In the real world, I felt Daq's hands stip away my clothing, but they had never appeared in the vision. There was no need for clothes in the void.
"Where are we?" I asked. His hands moved up to stroke my breasts again, his thumbs brushing cross them. This sensation was twice as intense as it should have been. I moaned and leaned my head back against his chest.
"Beyond our barries." His sharp teeth caught my earlobe and nibbled gently. "The only place this will work for people like us."
Daq's hands, once solid, now seemed to spread and vaporize. Every caress resonated across my entire body, drawing another whimper. A gentle pressure slid between my thighs.Instead of moving over me, his hand moved through me, became part of me. It stroked and caressed in perfect rhythm, sending tendrils of pleasure down my spine.
"We're in your mind," I gasped. A fresh waves of pleasure obliterated the realization from my mind. "Is this real?"
Shadow moved forward, surrounding me, brushing his lips against mine. The rest of us wasn't solid but his lips felt real. My body exploded. I leaned back against him, trying despeartely to catch my breath. Every touch, every kiss felt different here, and he knew how to exploit them in the perfect combination to make me weak.
I wouldn't be able to stop at one night of this. Shadow knew my body too well here. The sensations were too pure. Shadow's body dissipated one last time, but I could see his black eyes before me and hear his lust-tainted voice in my ear.
“Open yourself to me,” he said. “Open to me, Tam.”