by E M Garcia
"There was a ship, yes...." My eyes widened in horror as my brain caught up. With the gravity hampered, there would have been nothing to stop me from floating through the shield wall. J’Selle might not have only meant to wound me, but the attack still ended with one of them having to save my life.
“Without knowing who took the shot,” Alix continued, “we couldn’t really guess who hurt you and who saved you.”
“And I’m not you’re enemy, ma’am. You don’t need to defend yourself with me.”
I let out a breath, turning my face away from him. His calm acceptance and the cold revelation of how close I had come to death cut through my bravado.
“J’Selle shot me,” I whispered. My shoulders slumped. I didn’t have any fight left. “Daq knocked me out, but I don’t know who moved me.”
“Demon seemed pretty sure it was Daq.”Alix floated closer to me. He put a hand on my uninjured arm and squeezed gently. ”I know what it’s like to put yourself through the wringer. Nobody's here to scold you, Tam. The only ones that need talking to here is a Shadow and the Lady. And we’ll have us a nice chat one we catch up.”
“You think we’ll catch up?" I asked. Again his touch soothed the tension from my body. “We can’t even figure out what they did without Cal.”
“I won’t lie to you, the odds aren’t in our favor.” Alix squeezed my arm again before let his hand fall away. “But you don’t survive missions by focusing on the odds.”
“How do you survive?” The ache in my shoulder and my chest was too much. I couldn’t stand it any longer. If Alix Barnes had the secrets to getting through this, I was all ears.
“By taking control,” he said. “You wanted the Wreckers, you’ve got us ma’am. Just tell us where you want us to go.”
I nodded, taking a deep breath and turning to look Alix in the eyes. “Tell me where to find the Demon.”
19
Without being able to talk to Cal, I had to find Xaveer the old fashioned way. I checked the mess, his cabin, and the hanger without success. Finally, I found him in the dining room, slumped over the table. Xaveer’s body hovered over the furniture, swaying gently to the rhythm of the tune he whistled. His meaty fist clutched a metallic bottle with his thumb on the top to keep the stopper in place.
He raised his arm to peek at me, then lowered it again with a sniff. “I won't be good company, Ambassador.”
His slurred his words, but with his huge size the Strekhan berserker still had an imposing presence. Watching him sitting there in the darkness, it was easy to see how he earned his codename.
I kicked away from the wall, launching myself toward the table. My right arm still hurt from the gun shot. I hesitated to use it and ended up nearly smashing into the table. Xaveer snorted softly.
“That’s okay, Xaveer,” I said, pushing myself upright again. “Neither am I right now.”
“I’ve got a cure for that.” He launched the bottle towards me.
I snatched it from the air and tilted the top back. The stining sweet smell of Strekhan whiskey burned my eyes. I capped the bottle back and returned it to Xaveer.
“I’m good,” I lied.
The Demon didn’t seem fooled. “Two hours post slug wound and you still won’t take a drink? I’ve been shot a lot, Ambassador, I know it still hurts.”
“Two hours ago, I had a hole in my arm and I might’ve needed that drink. Now, I feel fine.” If I said it out loud enough times, maybe it would become the truth.
“Do you need to stay in control that badly, Ambassador?”
“We’re in the middle of a crisis,” I said. “I’m on duty.”
“Bullshit. You’re always on duty.” Xaveer leaned back. The shadows between the emergency light hid his eyes, and I realized that I had only seen their true color once before. They were deep, chocolatey brown, but right now they looked as black as Daq’s.
“That’s what happens when you live three feet away from your office.”
“You’ve got jokes. They’re not funny.” The Demon kept his eyes on me as he tilted his head back and took another deep drink from the bottle. He gestured to the table. “This wasn’t here when I was.”
“A decomissioned warship has no use for an operations room,” I said. “When Dr. Kimball and I needs to brief me on something, she does it in my office.”
“So...which one of them shot you?”
“Alix asked me the same question number. Something tells me you know the answer just as much as he did.”
Xaveer nodded. “I know Shadow better than most. He never would have taken the shot. Hell, I’m surprised he let it happen at all. Must be slipping.
“Maybe you don't know him as well as you think. Not anymore at least.”
He paused with the drink centimeters from his lips. “Are you saying you do?”
I held his gaze as well as I could in the darkness. “Just that something was wrong with him. I think something's been wrong with them since he boarded Aurora."
“You merged with him?” When I nodded the Demon released a small sigh.and took another deep drink. “Thank the gods for that.”
"You all have a bond I don't understand. He left us stranded in the middle of a nebula and you're rooting for his sexual conquests with said conquest?" I didn't bother to hide the disbelief from my voice.
Xaveer laughed and slapped the table off my no doubt stunned expression. "Does that shock you, Ambassador?
"A little bit, yeah." I narrowed my eyes at the Demon when chuckled again. He wasn't as scary when he pissed me off
"I forget, you don't know us," he said, pausing to drink from the bottle. He blinked, shook it, and tossed it aside. It floated gently toward the other side of ther room. "You have to understand, Shadow's had a harder life than the rest of us."
"The caves?" I had seen then the first time I walked through Daq's mind. Now, I knew the details of the place came to my memory from his.
Xaveer nodded. "And other places besides. Memories linger for his people, the good and the bad. Stack enough of the bad without enough of the good and they can go insane."
"You think Daq's gone insane?"
"I know he hasn't," he said. "If he had, he wouldn't have stopped to save you. I tried to save him from that darkness once, and I failed. If being with you can keep it away for a little while longer, I'll drink in celebration. Well, I would if I had anything else to drink."
Xaveer did just that.
"You were lovers?" Daq'usk's warning on Aurora suddenly made sense. Of course he would assume his former lover would be reluctant to board a ship with him.
"We were partners." Xaveer pointed one clawed finger at my chest. "Everywhere but the battle field. Now you really are shocked."
"Not shocked, just...I feel like I should apologize."
"Neither of the us is the possessive type, Ambassador."
I didn't know what that meant, but I didn't have the energy to think about it. Every conversation I had with the Wreckers was a minefield of emotion ready to blow at any moment.
"Demon,when we come out of this cloud, the Hammer is going to ping us," I said. "And when they do, I'm going to either need a good lie or truths that only J'Selle and Daq know. I don't have a lie big enough to get out of this one.”
Xaveers shoulders slumped. He nodded. “What you what you want?”
“You know Shadow better than I do. Where will he go?”
Xaveer shook his head. “You're asking the wrong questions. If J'Selle fired on you and Daq didn't stop her, she's the one giving the orders. The only person on the ship she's had much contact with her in the past 10 years is you. So…where would the Lady go?”
It was my turn to slump. "I didn’t meet J’Selle until the day of Jack’s funeral. I have no idea."
Xaveer let out a gutteral curse in langauge too obscure for my com to translate. "Then from where I'm sitting, the best move this to save your own ass and let them both burn."
"Is that what you would do, Demon?" I tried to hide the dis
gust from my voice, but I couldn't. "Is that what the Wreckers do? I've been spreading your legendy across Alliance space for a decade and this is the state of you? What the hell happened? "
"Aurora happened." he said. 'Never save the galaxy if you can help it. kid. You’ll miss the pieces you have to give away to do it."
"I’m not trying to save the galaxy, Demon, just two people in it that I happen to care about. If we can't do it by following them, then how?"
Xaveer's head jerked up at that. He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his face. "We can't do shit in a half dead ship."
"I'm fresh out of mechanics," I said.
"You're riding the Cal. You've had the best mechanic in the galaxy on standby and never even knew it. Trick loves his girl, he'll come for her when he hears she's in trouble."
"Wes?" I furrowed my brow. "There's no way he'll want to be involved in this."
A wide grin spread across Xaveer's lips. His pointed teeth glimmered in the dim light. "Get a message off to him when we come out of this Nebula, Ambassador, and we'll see which one of us knows him better."
20
I went back to my office and thought about the events of the last few hours. Alix claimed the Wreckers were behind me, but it didn't help as much as they thought. It was sweet of them to be pissed at J'Selle on my behalf, but unless one of us figured out where Shadow and the Lady went, the combined anger of the crew didn't solve our problems. The Wreckers were all too far gone in their own misery to know where to go next. I didn’t know either, and I was running out of time. In seven hours, the Cal would emerge from the nebula, and apart from hoping Wes Mason took pity on us, I didn't have a plan.
It had never taken me this long to come up with a Plan B. As much as I wanted to blame the last vestiges of the sedative dampening my brain cells, it was simpler than that. J'Selle had outplayed me. I still didn't know how to process what happened between Daq and I.
A firm knock on my door pulled me out of my misery. I stowed my pad in a drawer, sliding it shut before it could float out again. “Come in.”
Gale, Izzy, Mac, and Alix floated through the door, each of their faces more tense than the last. I forced my face to stay calm as my heart sank.
"Report."
Izzy boobed forward, catching the edge of my desk to steady herself. There was no sign of her earlier frustration, but that didn't mean she had forgiven me. Isabel Kimball was nothing if not professional.
"We've got a week's worth of food that's easily accessible," she said. "Plus two weeks in storage. So far, we don't have a way to get to storage without Cal. We're working on that."
I nodded. "And the fresh food?"
She sighed and raked her hands through her hair. "I've started preserving what I can. My com still has power, thank the spirits. Between the historical files and contemporary recipes I should be able to save most of it, but it'll be tight."
"Do what you can, Dr. Kimball. Dismissed."
Izzy's brow furrowed in confusion, but she let go of the desk and pushed herself back to the door without argument. I looked to Alix next.
"I've finished taking inventory," Alix said. "They took pistols, a sniper rifle, their clothes, and few grenades missing."
Alix paused. He and Mac both looked at Gale.
“I don't have them.” Gale shrugged.
“Then Daq and J’Selle must.” I didn't want to think about how they would put those items to use. "Help Izzy preserve the food we have left. Then start working on a ration schedule. Dismissed."
I looked at Mac. He shrugged. “Don't know what the hell they did to Cal, but I can see her and she seems to be in one piece. No matter what I try, I can't thread her through the rest of the ship. It’s like she’s fire-walled.
“Technically, we can't be sure it's still functioning," Gale said.
"She's still there," Mac whispered through gritted teeth. "I know she is."
“Then let's find a way to get her back. In the meantime, Lieutenant Calhoun, I prepared a statement of objection for you to transmit to the Hammer." I pulled the datapad out of my desk and held it out to Mac. “It will be one of the first packages I send out when they ping us.”
He looked at the pad between fingers and shook his head.“That won't be necessary, ma'am. I don't report to the TF anymore.”
“You still get your pension from them. That means you have to sit this one out. Once we get Cal reconnected to the rest of the ship, she and I will take care of the flying, and you can take a nice vacation.”
“You fly my ship by yourself? Over my dead body!” Mac puffed his chest forward.
"I wouldn't be by myself," I lied. If they hadn't been able to turn Cal back on in the hours since Jay left, a few mour hours wouldn't make a difference. If I put Mac on ice, I would have to wrangle a warship alone.
"A few thousand chits a month ain't worth a feiry death, Tam. When we come out of this nebula, I mean to have my ass in the pilot seat where it belongs."
I rolled my eyes. “I appreciate the vote of confidence, Mac, but I have to insist.”
The shift of expression on Mac's face made me hesitate. There was no humor in his eyes. The smirk that seemed permenantly etched on his face disappeared.
"I served Jack Cage for ten years," he said, straightening to his full height. "I've served you for almost as long. If you think I'm gonna let you freeze me out when you need me, you haven't been paying attention."
I held his gaze, but part of me wanted to leap forward and hug my surly pilot. "Mac, don't make me order you."
“It would be better for both of us if you didn't give me orders I can't follow, ma'am.” He wrapped his hands around the corner of my desk and used it to launch himself back toward the door. “I need to start working on a plan for when we pop out of this nebula.”
It was insubordination, plan and simple, but Mac knew I didn't have the stomach to lock up two loved ones on the same trip.
"Jack could never get him to stand down, either," Gale said.
I turned to him. “I don't believe you, but thanks for trying. Report, Commander.”
Gale hesitated. He nodded once and looked up, Commander Howard once again. “The ship's in bad shape, ma'am, and her crew is shaken, but they'll hold, as long as you do.”
"That's all I needed to hear." I pressed a few buttons on the pad and called up a duplicate file. This one had Gale's name on it. "Just a little housekeeping and you can go."
I slid the pad into his hands. His took it, eyes hardening as they glided over the text.
"What the hell is this?" He asked through gritted teeth.
"You're get out of jail free card," I said. "With any luck, it'll hold when the Hammer catches up."
“Alix and Izzy are the odd men out?” he asked.
“We outrank them. Everything that has their ID codes attached to it was an order that came from me. As far as anybody is concerned I ordered him to do everything he’s done.”
His brown eyes locked on mine, blazing with an emotion I couldn't quite place. “What makes you think my answer will be different from Mac's? I've known you a lot longer."
“I've known you just as long, and I remember your legendary sense of self-preservation." A soft laugh escaped my lips before I realized it. I couldn't muster even half of the anger I felt toward Gale on Aurora. That all seemed like a lifetime ago. That woman seemed like a different person.
Gale switched the pad off and let it drift from his fingertips.“It doesn't work as well when it comes to you. You're not naive enough to think a letter of protest is going to protest anybody if a black ops agent catches up to us."
I shook my head, admitting defeat. "No. Once word gets out about what J’Selle did, they'll throw everyone in handcuffs and sort everything out later. That's why I wanted to start the paper trail now."
I wathced the pad slowly drift toward the farside of my office, carrying Mac and Gale's protection with it.
"It was the best I could do," I whispered. "If I'm wrong about this,
shit's going to explode."
Gale raised an eyebrow. "What's the plan?"
"Wes Mason."
Gale shrugged “haven't heard from in years.”
“I saw him last week in a bar on Aurora Station.”
He folded his arms across his chest. "You don't drink."
Next trip, I needed to find an executive officer who didn't know me so well. "I went there on information from Shadow."
Gale's eyes hardened again. "Yeah, you know that means he's probably involved in this somehow...right?"
I shrugged. "Then he's already got the AI, and we'll need to track him down anyway."
"Withholding information from your executive officer and premeptively planning to double cross a potential ally," he said, smirking. "You're treading on dangerous ground, Ambassador."
“Fortunately for us all, I don't usually have an executive officer and my allies are usually on the right side of the law.” I said.
Gale laughed. "Honey, if you think that's weird, you should hear our war stories."
It took him a second to realize the old petname had slipped from his mouth. He winced and rubbed the back of his neck, whispering a quick "sorry, ma'am."
“At least you didn't call me, Tammy. Just don't make a habit of it." I swung back to my desk. "Get the crew ready. When it happens, it'll have to happen fast.”
“The only way the Wreckers work, Ambassador.”
As the Cal approached the edge of the nebula, Alix, Gale, Mac, and I gathered on the bridge. Gale took his place at navigation. Alix covered communications. and I was going to be Max copilot. [Burn a few minutes on the description.]
“Three minutes until we come out, m'am," Gale said.
I nodded and settled back into my chair. “Everybody remember were here to do. Alix, get that message to Mason and wait for the return. With any luck, we can get coordinates and get to the jump point before anyone is the wiser.”
“Mac are we ready?”
Mac could barely contain the glee in his voice. “You bet, Tam. I haven't had this much fun since the old days.”
"I don't think you and I have the same definition of fun," I said, casting a sideways glance in his directing. “Don’t get used to it. I’m not wild about doing something this tight without Cal.”