But Leif’s father pulls me into a hug instead, and gives me a kiss on both cheeks. His eyes sparkle, amused at my discomfort. “Hello, Cassandra, I am Darren Cade. I have been waiting to meet you since the day my son tore apart the office.”
Darren, who is the same height as Leif, and has the same muscular body structure as his sons, is in his late fifties. But the man looks much younger than he is. Although his longish, raven-colored hair has so many greys in them, he is very handsome. His lips remind me of Logan’s, but the eyes are more like Leif’s lighter green ones, with brown dancing in them. Damn those genes.
“He was fooled before. I can only imagine what he felt back then.” His eyes crinkle a little bit, and a smile tugs his lips. Darren’s voice has a very warm quality, making it easy to relax around him.
“He almost blew his chance to be in your lives because of his judgment. You must know that Logan wasn’t upset with you.” He’s right—he was disappointed in himself for not believing me.
Liane makes babbling sounds, gesturing to Darren. My little daughter is clearly affected by the charm Darren possesses. With a questioning gaze, Darren looks at me for permission. I nod, suppressing my anxieties, as he stretches both hands towards my excited girl, and my heart drums in my chest.
As soon as she is in Grandpa’s hands, she starts to pull at the jacket buttons. Liane isn’t wasting time. My daughter's mouth goes for a taste, exploring grandpa’s clothes. Darren tries to stop her, but his finger gets in the way. Liane’s toothless bite makes Grandpa chuckle.
“Aren’t you cute, my fierce grandchild?”
I watch my daughter and grandfather make their first introductions. Darren is apparently taken with Liane as his handsome face lights up with adoration. She babbles, beaming at the man.
“Is she teething?”
A chortle escapes my lips, watching Liane’s confused expression when Grandpa removes his finger from her. Darren lays her in the crook of his hand, kissing and tickling her, but she lets out an unhappy wail.
“She is. But it might be simply a family trait. Liane is determined to get what she wants, using relentless approaches and intimidating techniques.”
“You might be right.” He beams at me, cooing at his granddaughter.
Leon doesn’t like to be left out, so he makes his presence very hard to ignore.
“Come here, little one. It is time to meet your Grandpa too,” Senior Cade coaxes Leon. Eagerly, he moves his legs and arms, trying to get there on his own.
“Hey, calm down, boy. Uncle Leif might drop you.” He passes Leon to Darren.
“Is she hungry?” Leif asks me, amused that Liane is chewing on my shoulder and probably expecting to see my boobs.
“For your information, Uncle Leif, she is in pain. She is self-soothing this way, and no, she has been fed.”
His smirk gets broader as I grow more annoyed with him. He is such a pervert, and I refrain from hurting the family jewels for making me feel uncomfortable to breastfeed.
“Would you like to go inside? I will whip us up something to eat. We will be more comfortable there, to talk after the twins go to sleep. You could play inside and get to know each other until then.”
“I don’t mind either way.” Logan’s father is still ensnared by my little boy’s energy.
We go inside, and Leif follows me into the kitchen. He looks nervous. Interesting. “What is it, Leif?”
“I brought him here to talk to you. He didn’t agree to draw up legal papers assigning the twins’ custody to Logan. He isn’t convinced that it is the best option.”
The fatherly approach will have more impact and be less hurtful, and I nod in agreement. Darren is doting on his grandkids with the presents he brought for them from the States.
Lost in my thoughts, I don’t see Darren approach right away, silently observing me. When I finally notice him, I ask, “Can I help you? Would you like something to drink? I am sorry, I forgot to ask earlier.”
“A glass of water will be fine. Leif is busy with the little twins, so I thought we could chat.” He looks around the kitchen.
“If you don’t mind me zooming around as I cook.” I’m sure he probably has a lot of things to do instead of be here with us.
“Leif told me about the incidents. Explain to me why you can’t go through the therapy with them in your life.”
I take a breath, collecting my thoughts. “Mr. Cade, I don’t want them to grow up in an unsafe environment. These episodes might endanger them. In my opinion, it’s not fair to ask people to carry my burden.” Darren is silent as I continue. “A few months back, I had a rage episode, and if they would have been there…” I choke, unable to voice my fears.
The terror still lingers thick on my skin. I take a huge shaky breath. “I grew up in an unsafe household, so I know what it is like to wait for the hurricane to tear the safety apart. I don’t want to be the hurricane in their lives. The best option would be if I let them go and find a way to cope with these episodes on my own.”
Motherly instincts are screaming at me not to go through it, but the ugly truth is, I have to. My eyes blur with tears as I push the words past my dry lips.
“Babies will be affected by their anxious mother. Whether I want it or not, they’ll learn to fear me. That is not normal, and I want them to have better than I can offer. I need time to figure it out, and I can’t do that if I am anxious about their safety.” I swallow the painful knot as my stomach coils with turmoil and fear.
To gather my thoughts and calm my racing heart, I pause. Damn it, it hurts! I stand there as tears run down my cheeks, and distress painfully squeezes my chest, trying to convince me not to do it.
I flinch as Logan’s dad puts his palms on my shoulders in comfort. “It’s ok, Cassandra, I will help. Everything will be all right, we will find a solution.” I stifle the sobs gathered in my throat as the older man draws me into a soothing cuddle.
The battle with Logan will destroy me in ways I can’t even imagine. He is a significant part of my life, and the thought of hurting him makes me nauseous. I have no choice, though, do I?
“Just keep in mind one thing. Logan is one of the most stubborn men I’ve ever met. He will not be easily convinced of this plan. Although, to be honest, I do think that space might be good for you.”
Our conversation is interrupted by my sisters bursting into my house with their shopping bags. Apparently, they had a lovely time at the mall.
“What do we have here? Hello, I’m Aisha, and this is Raine.” The girls giggle as they introduce themselves, and I can’t blame them. Darren Cade is quite a handsome specimen.
“I’m Darren Cade, father to Leif and Logan. And you are…sisters? Nice to meet you girls.” With all his charm turned on them, he makes them blush.
“Yes, we are, forgotten and hungry sisters. Feed us, please! Or I’m going after Leif’s soft parts,” Aisha threatens, as she winks at me in mischief.
Raine eyeballs my baked apple pie, licking her lips. “Do you have ice cream?” I nod, and she squeaks excitedly, smacking a kiss on my cheek.
“Aisha, please be careful, because you might encounter a hard bone you won’t be able to swallow.” My youngest sister blushes but flips Leif the bird. The idiot smirks and gives her an X-rated once-over.
“All right, go wash your hands, you rascals. I will set the table, and don’t eat our guests, girls!” I shoo them away as Leif makes suggestive remarks about what parts are the best to pick. I turn to his dad, catching him shaking with laughter.
“I’m so sorry, but this is standard. They live to torture each other.” At least Senior Cade is amused by the dynamics of this household.
“Want my help?” Leif walks up, Liane holding him like a koala grasping a tree, squeezing her fist into his clothing.
“How about you take care of my little kitten? Where is Leon?” I start to worry because he is the very strong-minded boy who gets everything with his loud cries.
“Let me take care of him. You
can set the table,” Darren suggests as he goes off to find a frustrated Leon left on his own.
We ready for an early lunch as another bell interrupts us. I open the door to find Logan beaming at me, one of his hands behind him, hiding something.
“Did you forget your keys?”
Instead of answering, he gives me a bouquet of beautiful wildflowers, and before I even register them, I am in his arms and swept away in a passionate kiss. “Miss me?”
Oh my God! I am in trouble, and I have no idea how to get out of it. “Logan…we have guests.” I try to deflect his affection as he leaves me weak-kneed and breathless.
Logan looks around me to find his dad in the living room by the fireplace, holding our little Leon. “Dad, you’re here! How good to see you. You didn’t mention you were coming to England?”
“Helen is in California. She’s busy with charity events, so I thought I would come to visit on my own.” His father’s cheerful tone makes Logan stop and appraise him. His studies his father, and my heart leaps in my chest. Logan knows something isn’t right.
“I see you met your grandkids.” He is watching the older man, an accusing gleam in his eyes.
“Cassandra didn’t mind me coming. So, here I am.” He looks at me, as I stand there with dread that I might have a bigger fish to fry than I thought.
“How about we sit down to eat? The food is growing cold.” Reluctantly, both men leave the conversation and sit at the table.
Logan takes the seat next to me, the message clear that he considers me his as he possessively grips my waist. For good measure, he gives me a passionate kiss in front of his father. Dizzy and blushing from the attention, I glare at him, letting him know I’m not too happy about his behavior. He stares back, not willing to yield. It appears we are at an impasse.
As we start to eat, the conversation spins around Darren. I take Liane from her chair and pass her to Logan. She would keep him busy. He can show possessiveness over a different female than me.
He grins and chuckles, knowing exactly what I’m doing. I look innocently at him and pick up Leon, kissing his cute head as he tries to fish out all the food from the plates.
“Cassandra, I’ve heard you worked at the bank.” I choke on my drink as Logan’s father brings up the pinnacle of our story.
“Yes, I did, Mr. Cade. My boss, Joshua Price, gave me a chance to prepare the report for the infamous meeting.” I have to know what kind of rumors are going around.
“You can call me Darren, please. People say that is when you first met, and fireworks flew all over the office.” Darren looks very interested. I am not sure it’s appropriate to tell him we conceived his grandchildren at that time.
“She made us a scoreboard, Dad, to see who is more qualified to do the job,” Logan tells his dad, amused.
“If I remember correctly, you made belittling comments that I was not competent enough. Also, you embarrassed me. You made me uncomfortable.” I still want to chew his ass for it.
“You chastised me in front of my employees for wasting their precious time, and then made me look as though I don’t give two shits about their work.”
“You deserved it. I whipped your ass for being condescending to me.” I burn in anger as I remember. Our gazes lock in battle, and our breathing becomes erratic as we both watch each other.
“Unbelievable. How didn’t we know about this?” Leif's chortle startles us from our staring contest. “You two are ready to rip off each other’s clothes, even now. So, is this how you met?” He laughs again, shaking his head, and my sisters join him, tittering with the hilarity I don’t see.
Raine is snickering as they imagine the situation. “Did you quiz her? How did she do? Pass or not?” Aisha bends over in a full belly laugh, forgetting dinner.
Great, my sisters are making it worse!
“You’re amazing, you know that, right? I wish I’d have been there to see it.” Leif pisses me off with his constant teasing. This will give him more ammo to hold against me.
“I believe it wasn’t so bad, if you two made such beautiful children in the process.” Logan’s dad is trying to soothe the situation with a gentle smile gracing his lips. Aha.
“Of course, old man, because that was just foreplay, as later, they b—” But he doesn’t get to finish, as he’s elbowed by Raine and Aisha, who are caging him on both sides.
“That was unnecessary, you two are terrorists! One day, I’ll get you tied up, and I’ll teach you good manners.” He rubs his chest with a glint of naughtiness. “I was born in a free country, where we have a free voice and the right to speak.”
“Well, we were born in a country where you keep your tongue shut and mind your own business. Unless… you want your manhood in a cast,” Aisha challenges him. I stand up to take the plates and assemble dessert in the kitchen, and Logan follows close behind.
“You ok with my dad being here? If I had known, I would have let you decide if you wanted this to happen or not.” Logan’s concern is very touching. It also makes me embarrassed about the fact that we are going to gang up on him about leaving me behind and taking off with his dad and Leif to California.
“He loves you a lot, Logan. I thought it was time to broaden their horizons and let our children meet their grandpa.” The suspicion clings to him as he scrutinizes me.
“Do you want to tell me what is going on?” he whispers, moving closer and winding his hands around my waist. My heartbeat quickens as I lock my gaze on his tempting mouth.
“You both need help in there, or you baking a few more twins in the oven?” Raine hollers.
Our family is annoying. We gather all the dessert plates and carry them back to the dining area.
“I see your home is full of excitement.”
“Unfortunately, it is, Darren.”
“The dinner was amazing, Cassandra. Thank you for inviting me in.”
Logan squirms in his chair at his father’s comment, as if sensing something is off. The air’s getting tense with suspicion and unease.
“You’re welcome, Darren. It is terrific to finally meet you.” I force a smile.
Before the twins’ bedtime, Darren makes sure to give his grandkids kisses on their heads, promising them more fun the next day. My sisters help me settle the twins in bed and from the serious looks on their faces, I know they’re going to pester me.
“Something is going on, isn’t it? Darren’s here not just for a visit, is he? Tell us, Cassandra, we want to know.” I take few deep breaths to settle down.
After I tuck the kids in their beds, we go to my room. Through the window, I watch the darkening sky on the horizon as I try to find the right words.
“I want Logan to go back to the States.”
“You don’t want him here with you? I thought you were both hot and heavy between the sheets. What is going on?” Aisha’s face twists in confusion.
“A few days ago, I had an episode. I jumped into the busy street and almost got hit by a car. If not for Logan, I…” My eyes fill up with tears as I try to tell them the hardest part. “I want him to take the twins with him.”
My sisters gasp, and I close my eyes so I won’t see the judgment etched on their horrified faces.
“You want me to do what?” Logan’s shocked voice vibrates through me from the doorway. “You can’t be serious. I won’t do it. My kids are not going to be without their mother. I thought we made progress. You told me you loved me, I thought…” Green eyes fill with hurt as he turns to leave. His shoulders are hunched and palms fisted at his sides, as he casts a disappointed gaze over his shoulder.
“Logan!” I sprint after him, and my sisters follow behind. “Logan, wait, let me explain!”
Logan’s stride is determined and angry, but he stops and turns his stony green gaze on me, and it nails me to the floor.
“Explain to me, how two deeply caring people can’t make this family work? If you love me, why the hell can’t we try to live like a couple? Why, every time I get close, must yo
u find a way to separate us again?”
“You saw what happened! Don’t you wonder if I am safe to be around, Logan? What would happen if, next time you’re at work, or when I take them to preschool? What if I were to wake up from the daze to find both of their helpless bodies splattered on the concrete?” I shake in fear, imagining this scenario. Darren and Leif are getting closer, as if sensing the storm about to tear us apart.
“We made a deal, Logan. One night in exchange for one year. I’m asking you to take our kids. You can’t leave them with me. I could hurt them. Please, try to understand. They are still too little to know what is happening. It’s not normal for their mother to tear their home apart, and jump in the street like a lunatic. They will never feel safe with me. Do you know what mark it will leave on them? I need to learn to cope with this.”
“I want to help you. Be there for you…” He holds his head as he tries to figure this one out.
“You need to trust me to figure it out on my own.”
Anguish flows through my bloodstream as the responsibility of finding a way out of my nightmares weighs me down. I realize how much I counted on this man to deal with my issues. He feels betrayed by the spider who wove the net around him, then left him no choice but to surrender. There is no way to get out.
“You demand me take them away from our home, stealing this precious time with you.” He shakes his head, raven-colored hair falling all over his face. “Perhaps you have to have faith in me, Angel, and let me help to keep you, and them, safe.”
“Son, you should listen. Cassandra has a point.” Darren puts his hand on the hunched shoulder, trying to comfort his disappointed son.
“What do you know, Dad, about what is going on?” Logan shakes off his hand and steps away from him, hurt.
“Maybe more than you know. Let Cassandra have space to process all her issues. I doubt that it’s an easy decision to leave your kids even with you, for a such long time. She wants to heal, Logan, you should help her however she needs it.”
“I can’t stay here. I need to get out.” Grabbing his car keys, he shakes his head in disbelief. Before he leaves, his wounded gaze finds mine, blaming me for this deception.
Entwined IN YOU (In You #2) Page 2