He knew that Laura probably had to be put down, then, especially if she’d been a work horse. “I’m sorry, Mom,” David whispered.
She nodded and David showed them the ladder to Jerry’s studio. He watched his father help his mother climb the old ladder, thinking about the television program on efforts to save seals that he and Jerry and William had watched all those years ago. There had been one seal, Bob, who had had cancerous lesions on his mouth, preventing him from catching his own food. The veterinarians had had to euthanize Bob eventually. It had upset William so, but mainly because that had been the day when Cory had had to leave to live with his father’s sister. His father had been facing serious charges for trafficking and manufacturing drugs and Family Services had found Cory’s long-lost aunt.
Neither David nor Jerry had been too upset—except for the pain it had caused William—because they’d known that Cory would be coming back in a week or two. Sara, the social worker who’d brought William, had been kind enough to point out a loophole that would enable Cory to return to the ranch, to become the brother William had always hoped he’d become.
David followed his parents into Jerry’s studio, thinking about his mother at the same age as William had been when he learned a difficult lesson about life. And now, hearing his mother talk about Laura, learning that she’d named the horse after her own mother, David realized he’d perhaps always been too hard on his mother. He’d always assumed that his mother and Oma never got along, that his mother had always hated being from a poor farming family, but now he was beginning to think he’d been wrong.
“I remember that piece you bought, Niels,” his mother was saying as David shook his head and returned to the present. “That piece you eventually put in your office.” She turned to David, a smile back on her face. “He brought this triptych home and wanted to hang it in the house. Well, it didn’t go with anything, so I refused.” David wasn’t sure where the story was in there, but he didn’t want to interrupt her; she was talking, so that was good enough for him. “There were other pieces that we purchased, though.” She turned to look at her son. “At the last two gallery showings that Jerry has done, we managed to get a couple of pieces that we quite liked,” she said turning to look at her husband.
“Jerry is very talented,” David said, moving to show his parents the shelves full of sculptures.
“Did I just hear my name?”
All three heads turned at the sound of Jerry’s voice as he climbed up the ladder. David noticed his husband had showered and changed into a pair of dark slacks and a beautiful pale-blue button-down shirt. No matter what he wore, David found Jerry to be the most handsome man he’d ever laid eyes on.
Jerry came over and put his arm around David’s waist as he listened to his husband. “Mom was just telling us how she and Dad have purchased several of your pieces.”
“Really? Which ones? If you remember, of course.”
“Two years ago, in Calgary, we purchased a sculpture entitled Midnight, and then just last year, we purchased a small canvas entitled… Niels? What was the name? Do you remember?” Marie looked over at Jerry and put a finger to her temple. “One of the dangers of getting old,” she said, explaining her terrible memory.
Niels looked pensive for a moment and then snapped his fingers. “Time and Space I think it was called,” Niels said. “A beautiful piece with a giant red circle in the center of the canvas, with lines and spatter radiating out.”
“Time in Space,” Jerry corrected.
“Yes, sorry,” Niels said as he shook his head. “I was intrigued by the use of color and texture for that one.”
“Piece I painted just after we got Cory back,” Jerry said to David. He turned to look at Niels and Marie. “Midnight was a piece I did years ago, though. It was a piece I did while I was showing William how to throw. Had him out here late one night, after he’d woken up from a nightmare. Brought him out here so he could see that the dark wasn’t something to be afraid of.”
David leaned against his husband. It must have been before David had arrived on the scene, and David found his heart melting all over again for Jerry. Even then, he felt like saying to Jerry, even then you knew you were going to keep him forever, didn’t you?
“William and Billie are waiting in the house,” Jerry said suddenly. “Why don’t we go and give you a tour of the house and you can meet Billie?”
Jerry stood aside to let Niels and Marie pass, and squeezed David a little closer to his side. They followed David’s parents to the ladder, and David took the opportunity to whisper, “You’re an incredible man, Jerrod McKenzie.” Before descending the ladder, David looked up and saw the big grin on Jerry’s face, enjoying the little bit of color that had crept into his cheeks.
David led his parents into the house. William and Billie stood near the door and welcomed them all. David watched his mother as William gave his Opa Niels a tight hug, wondering if she would allow the same thing after only meeting with William twice. To his utter amazement, his mother came forward, with arms open and hugged her adopted grandson and then bent at the waist to pet Billie.
He shot a look to Jerry, who just stared, wide-eyed, at the whole tableau. But when William led his grandparents on a tour of the house, he turned to David, grabbed his arm and pulled him into the study.
“What’s going on?” Jerry asked, his voice a mere whisper. “I’ve been preparing myself for days now to meet this cold and heartless monster.”
“Stop it,” David smirked as he slapped Jerry’s chest. He stopped suddenly and looked into his husband’s eyes. “Is that the way I made her sound?” He felt an immediate wave of shame as he watched Jerry’s slow nod. “Maybe I’m the monster then,” he whispered, more to himself than to Jerry. “She told me about her favorite horse on the farm, when she was a little girl. She’d named it after Oma, after her mother.” David shook his head with disbelief. “And here I thought she’d always hated her own mother.”
Jerry said nothing, only smoothed his hand up and down David’s arms, his handsome face showing the love and compassion it always did. After a few moments, Jerry pulled their bodies together and kissed the top of his husband’s head. “I guess it just goes to show that we never really know our own parents as anything but what we’ve created in our own heads.”
“I feel like such an asshole,” David muttered into Jerry’s shoulder.
“Nonsense,” Jerry eschewed. “But maybe you won’t let the same thing happen to your relationship with your mother, huh?”
David nodded, promising himself that he would not let that happen. He wasn’t the same scared twenty-five-year-old who had, in his hurt and anger over being abandoned by his family, chosen to think that they were heartless and judgmental. He was now almost fifty, the same age his parents had been when they’d abandoned him, with his own family, his own hopes and dreams for his two boys.
And as he walked with Jerry into the kitchen to gather everything for what he thought would be the final barbecue of the summer, David found himself hoping that there would be more—more summer, more barbecues, more nights like this during which he would be able to learn even more about the mother he’d dismissed as insensitive and unfeeling. He could see now that he’d dismissed her without even giving a moment’s thought to what she must have felt she’d lost when she learned her son was gay, would never marry, and would never give her grandchildren.
As he and Jerry made their way outside to start the evening’s festivities, David was surprised to find himself whistling.
Chapter 17
JERRY got up early Monday morning, but not because he had chores to do. Or a husband to do for that matter, either. Although waking up early to make love to David was probably his number one favorite thing to do because David was so much more sensitive in the morning. He loved the way his husband responded to him, writhed underneath him. He loved looking at the flushed skin and the kiss-swollen, slightly parted lips as David climaxed. No, there was nothing that Jerry loved more
than doing a little early-morning loving on his man.
This morning, however, Jerry had to be up early enough to make sure that everything would be ready for the symphony on Friday night. He would be up to his elbows today and tomorrow in visitors to the ranch and getting Cory and Tara squared away before they had to return to their life in Ontario. He had a car to arrange, hotel reservations to make—although he still wasn’t sure he would use them; it would depend on whether David wanted to leave William alone on the ranch. And most importantly, he had to figure out how he was actually going to surprise David with all of this. How am I going to be able to be here and then sneak out of the house to ring the doorbell and escort David to the car?
He sneaked into the barn to make sure that the horses were taken care of and found that William must have set out new straw and food for them the night before. Jerry just stood there, looking at his collection of horses and shook his head. “God, but I love that boy,” Jerry muttered to the horses. King and Biscuit whinnied in approval while Jerry made his way over to Mountain Lion, stroking and petting the pony’s nose. “And you,” Jerry whispered. “I guess I don’t need to ask you how you feel about William. Do I?” Mountain Lion gave a quick snort, as if to say that the question was utterly ridiculous.
“Okay, so I’m off to go and finish planning my surprise date with David,” Jerry said to the three horses, laughing when they all seemed to answer him with a collection of snorts or whinnies.
He walked back to the house, just in time to begin making breakfast, and puttered around the kitchen collecting ingredients and dishes. It was just after seven, and he knew that David would be up in another ten or fifteen minutes, followed closely by William. Even though it was summer vacation, no one in the house had ever really gotten into the habit of sleeping in. Living on a ranch, there was always too much to get done.
As he made the poached eggs that his men liked so much, he heard the first sounds upstairs, surprised when it was William who arrived to sit at the table first. Jerry popped some bread into the toaster and turned to greet his son.
“Hey, chief,” Jerry said as he smiled at his son. “I thought you’d sleep a little later.”
“I was going to, but then I woke up, and I couldn’t get back to sleep,” William said through a yawn.
“Excited about another big date with that pretty gal of yours?” Jerry turned around to see William blushing. It wasn’t difficult to notice his son blush, considering how fair and blond he was.
“Shut up,” William muttered, and Jerry just laughed.
“Okay, no more teasing. I promise.” Jerry threw some bacon into the frying pan and set another place for David, William having sat down in front of the one intended for his other father. “I’m making your favorite.” Jerry looked around the floor, realizing that he hadn’t heard the familiar click-clack of Billie’s nails on the hardwood. “Hey, where’s your shadow?”
“Thanks,” William said, yawning a second time. “She’s still sleeping, I guess.”
“You might have to go for a nap before Anne gets here,” Jerry said, fetching the orange juice and milk from the fridge. “Can’t have you falling asleep when we’re out riding.”
“You think she’s ready?”
“Sure, no problem at all,” Jerry said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Remember what we did that first day you arrived on the ranch?”
William laughed, looking up at his father. “You lifted me up on Biscuit’s saddle and hooked your fingers into the back of my jeans, just in case I fell off,” William said, his laughter low and deep. Jerry found himself missing the way William used to giggle. After a moment, William’s voice was almost a whisper when he said, “I was so scared of you.”
“I remember,” Jerry said, pulling out a chair while the bacon sizzled and the eggs cooked. “I thought you were the most lost little boy I’d ever seen.” Jerry shook his head, his eyes never leaving William’s. “You shook my hand when we met out there in front of the house, and you promised me you wouldn’t get underfoot, that you were sorry to be a bother.” Jerry looked down at the table, the tears coming to his eyes so quickly that he was caught off-guard. “I’ve never felt so ashamed of myself, making you feel like that.”
“Dad?” William moved to sit beside Jerry. “What’s wrong? Don’t cry.”
Jerry swiped at his eyes and looked up at his son, forcing a smile as he studied William’s worried expression. “I’m okay, son. Just too used to being by myself at that point. Didn’t want to have to change.” Jerry’s hand found its way to smooth the hair out of his son’s eyes. “But when I saw that smile after I promised to take you for a ride on the horses….” Jerry felt his smile grow even broader. “I wanted nothing more than to make you smile like that all the time.”
Jerry got up and flipped the poached eggs onto some toast that was waiting, warm from the toaster, and turned the bacon. With the practiced skill of having made this breakfast thousands of times over the years, Jerry got everything set out on plates while he listened to his son.
“And then David came, and I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. No family to having both of you.” William stared off at something, and Jerry wondered what he was looking at, but realized that he was replaying some treasured memory in his head. “Before I fell asleep every night and when I woke up every morning, I would pray so hard, pray that I could stay here. That I’d found someone who really wanted me.”
Jerry sat back down, beside his son. He heard William’s voice crack, and he reached out to his son, wrapping his arms around him. “You want to know what’s funny?” Jerry pulled back and smiled for his son. “I prayed every day that I’d figure out how to be a good father. And then David showed up, and I figured it was a sign. Something was telling me that I’d better grab onto both of you with both hands and never let go.”
“When you would take me for those psychologist appointments in the city, just after I arrived here? I would spend the entire time talking about you and the horses. How I wanted to be big and strong like you and how I wanted to stay and be with the horses.” William looked at his dad nervously. “And then when David came, I would talk about how happy you were whenever he was around.”
“I thought you were supposed to be talking about your parents and stuff like that. Leaving the school and Frau Zimmerman.”
“Oh, I did. It just never took up much time.” William looked at his dad, their hands still on each other’s shoulders. “I would always ask her if she could tell me how to be a good son so you’d want to keep me.” Jerry saw William’s cheeks flush at the admission. “She always told me just to be myself.”
“Well, she was right, William.” Jerry reached out, letting his hand rest at the back of his son’s neck. “You’ve made David and I very happy, and proud. I couldn’t love you any more than if you were mine.” Jerry delighted in William’s smile, that flushed and happy look that William got on his face whenever Jerry praised him. “Now,” he said finally, pointing to the breakfast on the table. “Eat up. Busy day with that pretty girl of yours, yeah?”
“Dad!” William rolled his eyes and glared, but Jerry only laughed.
“SHEILA,” David said, his hand extended as Mrs. Hill and Anne got out of their car. “Thank you again for allowing Anne to come and visit.”
“It’s not a problem,” Mrs. Hill said as she hugged her daughter.
David saw Anne head straight for the barn and wondered how she’d known to check there first. “Won’t you stay for a coffee or a tea or something to eat, even? I baked fresh blueberry pies this afternoon.”
“Oh my,” Mrs. Hill said, chuckling. “That does sound heavenly, but no, I should get home. I’ve some packing to do and some more errands to run before everything closes.”
“Okay,” David said, shaking her hand one last time. “Are you sure we can’t drop Anne off for you? Save you a trip?”
“No,” Mrs. Hill said, shaking her head. “I’ll be sure to come and get her at eight.”
David waved as Mrs. Hill got in her car and pulled back onto the driveway. He checked his watch. Seven hours with William, he thought. Anne would never be able to blame her mother for not giving this a fair chance. He stepped up to the veranda and reached for the door just as it burst open and William, apologizing, ran past him for the barn, followed closely by one very excited Siberian Husky.
“Guess I don’t need to tell him where she is,” David said, trying not to laugh as Jerry came outside to the veranda. “By the way,” David said, wrapping an arm around his husband’s waist. “I came down for breakfast this morning and decided to sit on the steps until you’d finished your talk with William.”
“Heard that, did you?”
“Every word,” David whispered, his arms wrapping tightly around his husband’s trim waist. “If I haven’t told you lately, Mr. McKenzie, I want you to know that you fill me with awe and wonder, every day.” David saw Jerry’s cheeks pink and his eyes dart away. He stepped in front of his husband, putting his hands on either side of the handsome face. “There are no words, Jerry, not in any language I speak, to tell you how happy you have made me, how happy you’ve made those boys. You’re our very own hero. Saved each and every one of us.” David brought their lips together slowly, a chaste but lingering kiss. When David pulled back, he saw Jerry’s eyes fill with unshed tears. Jerry just nodded and pulled David to his chest again.
David could feel the shaky breathing against his own chest. He held on as tightly as he could to this man he loved more and more every day. How could he ever put into words what this man had done to three lost and lonely lives? He’d rescued William, David, and Cory, each of them living a life that they’d not wished on their worst enemies. But Jerry had had a very deep well of love and patience and kindness to share. And that’s exactly what he’d done every day for the last seven years. He’d worried and fought and consoled and loved and cried right along with the three souls he’d saved. And what finally brought the tears to David’s eyes was that Jerry had done all of this, thinking the entire time that he needed to be better at it, that he hadn’t been doing it well at all.
Roots and Wings Page 18