Gingerbread Spiced Daddy
Leona Windwalker
Copyright © 2020 by Leona Windwalker
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Cover art by KSL Designs
For my own soul mate
“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?”
Bob Hope
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Elves After Dark
About the Author
Also by Leona Windwalker
1
Bauble
I stared at the assignment sheet, my heart sinking. Candy cane patrol monitor! I known after the last fiasco that I was going to be assigned to the general labor pool again, but this…No, no, no…I rubbed my eyes, hoping the words would change. Fuck! They were still there.
“Bauble,” Sparkle said, “You can stare at it all day but all you’re going to do is be late!”
I turned a pleading look her way. “But it’s in the human world! Don’t you remember the last time I was there?”
Sparkle Shinystar was having none of it. “Bauble Lightstring, that was seventy-five years ago and you were barely out of school! You don’t look like a young human teenager anymore, so they are not going to pick you up for truancy!” She put her hands on her hips. “It’s a month long assignment and you start today, so march your tinsely butt down to transportation and get your snow globe!” Her eyes narrowed. “Or do I have to mark you down for some Krampus points?“
Now that got my feet moving. No way did I want any Krampus points. Get enough of those and the Department of Naughty or Nice rewarded you with the really crap assignments nobody wanted. Stuff like being the Santa’s stand-in at human middle school Christmas dances and call center office parties. No thank you! Candy cane monitor might not be a plum assignment, but it was a much preferable one.
I slid down the candy striped pole down to the next floor, then scurried to get in line before the last of the line disappeared into the Snow Globe Disbursement office. There were five other elves still ahead of me, so I made it, much to my relief.
“I heard you got put on this detail,” my Aunt Prancine said when it was my turn. “I saved you a globe to somewhere not so large that you’ll feel overwhelmed but not so small that you’ll stand out if you’re not super careful.”
“And this is why you’re my favorite auntie,” I said, accepting the miniature globe from her.
“I’m you only auntie,”she snorted. “Now, just be confident and pay close attention to the canes. If you find a counterfeit, swap the box out with one from the supplies provided and send the duds to us. The Candy Compliance Center will deal with them.”
I knew they would. Two Christmases ago, I’d been assigned there. When I accidentally added double the amount of enchantment and the result was a sweet that cleared your sinuses with one taste and made you breathe peppermint scented fire, I’d been put on glitter clean up duty in the ornament making section. Yup, fun times.
Aunt Prancine handed me an envelope. “Now, inside is your Kringle Enterprises company credit card, some cash, and the address of the motel you’re staying at. Do not lose it! And don’t let that globe out of your sight!”
“Wait, I have to stay there?”
“Yes, it’s a month long assignment. I just told you that. “ She held the envelope out and I took it. ”You’re sharing a room with Sprinkles Candyfluff.”
Oh, this just gt better and better. Sprinkles was the elf that got me let go from gift wrapping after he knocked over a massive ball of ribbon I got the blame for.
She sighed. “He’s sorry, you know. He had no idea you’d been fired from so many departments or he’d have spoken up. Anyway, he goofed up again after that so he’s there right along with you.”
I relented a smidge at her words. I knew in my heart I’d have been fired from there sooner or later anyway- I kept getting stuck to the magic invisible tape, for one thing. Plus, I was absolute shit at making those cute little corners that matched on both ends of a box.
“Okay, I’ll let him know we’re cool.”
Aunt Prancine nodded and took a miniature snow globe off the shelf. “Alrighty then. See that you do.” Her look softened. “And Bauble?”
I tilted my head, waiting to hear what she had to say next.
“Don’t worry, you’ll find your place.” She shook the globe and I watched as the snow swirled in the globe, then around her, hiding her from sight, then vanishing right along with her.
I looked down at the globe within my hand. Within was a vintage looking American Main Street scene, with wreaths on the light pole and the door of a bank. Lights hung along the front of the shops. The only hint that this was not an actual street but a mall was a plethora of miniature shoppers and the lack of cars or street lights or anything else road related. It was cute, I had to give them that.
I sighed. I needed to go to the uniform department and get my approved Kringle Enterprises mall helper kit. I glanced down sorrowfully at my clothes. I just new it probably wouldn’t be trimmed with all this quality tinsel piping on the hems, holographic embroidery detail on the collar, and I was certain the tree com brooch was probably going to be a no-go. No doubt I’d have to use one of those clunky phone things humans carried about. They had to dial numbers to make a call! Not just tap the star on the tree and get Star over on the Ops Center switchboard patch you through.
Still, if I didn’t get going, I’d be late and being late was a sure way to earn Krampus points, so I skedaddled.
2
Bauble
I looked at the sets of clothes I’d been handed. Not just a work uniform, but a ‘blend in with the humans’ set of clothes for when off work. My footie pyjamas were even a no-go apparently, as I was provided with several pairs of flannel plaid sleep pants which were to be worn with various long and short sleeved t-shirts with things like polar bears, penguins, and one that said I was both naughty and nice. There were also two flannel plaid button down shirts that matched two of the pairs of pants, in case the heating in the motel room sucked.
That puzzled me on two fronts. One, I was a Winter Elf, so the cold didn’t bother me. Quite the opposite in fact, which is why I didn’t understand the Kringle cousins always jaunting off to tropical island locations for fun. Two, why would humans be in our motel room while we were sleeping? Or did humans change into these ‘night wear’ items once dark fell and go about in them in public? I resolved to check the handbook later. No sense making myself stick out like a sore thumb. I didn’t remember this being the case seventy-five years ago, but that had been such a complete and utter disaster that I might have committed a night wear faux pas on top of everything else and simply not realized.
The non-uniform day wear had some cute pieces, white button down shirts to be paired with dark blue or pine green vests decorated with holiday motifs. I particularly loved the dark blue one with Santa’s village and the flying sleigh on it and the green one embroidered in silver and gold with bells. The pants were those st
iff things they called jeans, a far cry from my usual soft velvet knee length trousers and cashmere stockings.
The uniform though, that was straight out of the history books, if polyester had been around in the Middle Ages. The only saving grace were the adorable little bells dangling from the hat and the ends of the laces on the pointy-toed shoes. Ah, well, I only had to wear it while actually working the candy came line, they said.
I picked out a pair of jeans and slipped on the white ‘sports socks’ to wear with the checkmark emblazoned rubber soled shoes, pairing it with one of the white shirts and dark blue vest. I eyed the winter coat with the fake fur trimmed hood and sighed. If I didn’t wear it or the knitted gloves in the pocket, humans would find me odd, the elf disbursing the clothing had said, because surely I would be feeling uncomfortable cold. So, on it all went, with the rest stuffed into duffle bag I usually stuffed with cookies to bring back to my room. I was pretty proud of myself as I remembered to shake out all the crumbs first and everything. Then, I stuffed the piece of paper Aunt Prancine had given me into a coat pocket, put on the gloves, and picked up the snow globe, and shook it.
I had just enough time to grab my duffle bag before the snow swirl obscured my room, transporting me. Yep, I was definitely off to a good start! I’d almost left my luggage behind and the elf playing mall Santa is the only one of us with a globe back home! I’m sure that would have made a great impression, our first meting being me asking him to send me home for my clothes. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Once the snow cleared, I found myself in a bathroom stall, one fortunately not otherwise occupied. I opened the door, happy to see no one else was in the bathroom by the sinks because that’s when I noticed fuck up number two as I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I’d forgotten to glamor myself and my pointed ears and silvery skin were on full display, as were my fangs. I was two for two in the royal screw up department already. I backed up into the stall once more, concentrated on giving myself a human looking makeover. I did pretty good, if I said so myself. This time when I looked at myself in the mirror, I had pale peach skin, blunt teeth, brown eyes, and brown hair. I was ready to go!
Leaving the bathroom, I found myself in the shopping mall, which seemed to be divided up into a bunch of make-believe indoor streets. Which was pretty cool, except I had no idea of where I was supposed to go. Luckily, a big sign appeared as I wandered down the ‘street’ I was on, informing me of where the North Bay Pole was and how the kids could see Santa for free. Yippee! I was on my way. I just needed to find the place, let the elf playing Santa know I had arrived, and leave to go to the motel. Easy enough, even for me, right?
3
Cliff
I loved my niece Laurette with all my heart, I truly did. What I did not love was all this party related hoo ha that came with Christmas. It was times like this that I wished I hadn’t left the Air Force, seriously. Sure, we had Flight parties before we took a holiday break, but I didn’t have to help organize them. Back then, I could either take leave and fly home for a couple of days, see the folks, and jet back, or stay on base and just chill with others staying behind and get a great meal at the mess hall to boot. And during my assignment at Mildenhall, I also got to do cool stuff like go to Germany and visit the fabled Nuremberg Christkindl-Markt and shit.
But nooooo, I had to listen to a headhunter. “Come work in the private sector and earn more money!” they said. “Get better benefits!” they said. So I did, only for three months later to have them say, “Oh, so sorry. We’re downsizing and last one in, first out.” Cue having to take the job at Latimer and Associates in my hometown, acting as the freaking PA to the barely out of college son of Mr. Latimer. Joey Junior was ostensibly the general manager over the section that dealt with veteran related business. The company was an oddity, dealing with finding loans for small business start ups and expansions, personal car loans, and buying and selling home loans. The veterans department did all of those things, the same as the rest of the company, only it was focused on customers who were veterans.
The closest Joey Junior had gotten to being a veteran, as he laughingly told me during my interview, was watching GI Joe cartoons as a child. When he told me I was hired and how he was thrilled to have a ‘real American hero’ on his personal staff, I wasn’t sure if I should curse myself for ending up in this situation instead of doing another six years in the service, or pity for my brother-in-law for working at this place. It’s how I landed the interview, my sister Becca’s husband Ben worked data entry over in non-veteran car loans and he’d forwarded me the job application.
So, here I was, at the mall, picking up a giant iced cookie cake something or other which Joey Junior had ordered for the staff Christmas party and some gift baskets for the department heads. But I wasn’t alone. No, I’d had to mention to Ben that I was going to the mall today, who then told Becca, who called me. She then promptly played the niece card and got me to agree to take Laurette to see Santa at the mall. I took the cookie and gift baskets to the car first, then ended up somehow being talked into buying both Laurette and myself Santa hats from a kiosk by the entrance. I knew I looked ridiculous, a nearly forty-year-old guy in leather pants, t-shirt, and leather jacket wearing a cheap plush Santa hat, standing in line to see Santa in this god-forsaken piece of retail hell.
I held Laurette’s hand tightly, my eyes roving about. I’d promised Becca that I wouldn’t let Laurette away from side for even a minute, after enduring a lecture about how child predators lurked everywhere, but especially went hunting for them at events like this where distractions made stealing them away easier. I thought she was being over protective until I felt the hairs on the back of neck rise. Someone was watching us, I just knew it. I looked about, trying to see who it was.
I couldn’t figure it out, not until I saw the guy get tapped on the arm by the kid waiting for their candy cane from the bucket he held in his had. If I’d seen him at a club, I’d have called him a twink. Small, lithe, floppy brown bangs to one side, big brown eyes. My mouth tightened as I saw his eyes dart to where I was holding Laurette’s hand. If that fucker thought he’d get her off alone somewhere here in the mall, luring her with goddamned Christmas candy, he had another think coming! Using a job like this to gain people’s trust and make yourself look harmless, it pissed me off even worse than I already was.
“Uncle Cliff,” Laurette said, “You’re hurting my hand!”
I loosened my grip. “Sorry, honey.” We moved up another space. I glanced back over at the weirdo. Wait, it was me he was staring at with a dreamy look on his face. Understanding dawned on me. He thought I was Laurette’s father but was perving on me anyway, no doubt lost in a daddy fantasy of his own.
If we were in a club and I’d found him on the dance floor or at the bar, and he wasn’t dressed in such a stupid outfit, he was exactly the sort of boy I’d have picked up for a night of play. But not here. There was just something about him that was raising my hackles, making me feel hyper aware of him. Something was going on with him, and I trusted my gut. It had never let me down, not even once. In fact, had I listened to it instead of the glib sales talk of that damned headhunter, I’d still be in the military. See? Trust the gut.
We moved forward another few steps, then another, then it was finally Laurette’s turn. I moved to the other side of the grotto, coming to stand by the elf.
“And I’d like a baby brother, but not one’s who going to grow up to be icky,” I heard Laurette say. Hoo, boy, was Becca going to have fun with that one!
The elf’s nose twitched, and he spun around, startled.
4
Bauble
Oh, man, this job was crazy! I had to get there early because one of my duties entailed taste testing the candy canes being distributed that day, before e opened. That part was okay. The rest was insane, though. The adults seemed to think I was some kind of customer service rep. I had parents demanding that I produce non-existent order forms to get copies of the photo of their kid that
was just taken. They’re Polaroids, so I have no idea what they thought we could do for any such portrait package. Then there were the parents who thought I should give their kid my entire bucket of candy. Oh, and the ones that expected me to offer a gift voucher for them to go to the toy store in the mall and get what their kid wanted for free.
To get the current woman in front of me to leave with her kid, I had to let her kid have the last three long strips of mini candy canes in my bucket. Well, at least today there was a hot daddy to look at while he waited in line with his kid, and yep, I’d been looking. I turned around to reach for a new bucket of candy canes. That was when the most delicious scent wafted over to me, a scent so wondrous, I found myself mentally transported to fantasyland.
I was sat on a counter, watching tight glutes flex as their apron clad owner took out gingerbread from the oven, his husky voice asking, “Would you like a piece of this, darlin’?”
Another whiff, and I was…I was rudely jerked from my reverie by the voice that said, “Hey, you can stop staring at me like that.”
I blinked to find the hot leather wearing daddy looking at me, his mouth pressed into a tight line. “So-sorry,” I managed. I mean, he had me dead to rights. I had been staring at him earlier. Who wouldn’t?
“Good, because you know what? It ain’t happening, jingle boy.”
Gingerbread Spiced Daddy Page 1