by David Kempf
“A gift for traveling through time and meeting Jesus and witnessing the destructive powers of a hypocritical movie star.”
The other monk who Christopher affectionately referred to as A. smiled but not much. He had told Christopher that he had experienced time travel via eating a prehistoric bug. Well, pieces of giant bug meat. He and his great grandfather Harold prevented an insane woman named Jezebel from killing the world. She murdered his parents and worked with a crazy left wing Hollywood actor named Ian Flick. Flick was pals with murdering dictators and she tried to ruin the world as much as she could possibly do. The reason she did this was because she had found out that her most cherished beliefs were nonsense. The woman wanted to make everyone on the planet feel her pain of finding out life was meaningless. She played with time itself.
Harold and his great grandson defeated her and she was swallowed up by the travel bug. Swallowed up whole like Jonah’s whale until it died and she rotted inside it. The giant prehistoric bug was frozen by this wealthy family for generations. They kept it a secret that they used for personal and financial gain at any cost. When someone would a piece of it, they could travel through time. The thing could not survive the climate of the modern world and died. Jezebel died with it.
And ended up frozen in Hell for all eternity…
“Christopher?”
“Yes?”
“May I ask my question please?”
“Certainly,” said Christopher Wisdom.
“Let me hypnotize you.”
“What, A.?”
“It’s not an exact science but it’s worth a try.”
“What if I have a heart attack?”
“Don’t talk nonsense, Chris.”
Christopher knew that there might be some revelations from the hallucinatory images of his nightmares.
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“Please wait until I get a bit sleepier…”
“You’re about to pass out now…”
Christopher nodded.
“It won’t take long to do this, I assure you…”
“That’s good, A.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Force of habit,” said A. with a bright handsome smile.
“One of the gifts you received from your time travels?”
“Right,” said A.
The two men looked at one another. A.’s stories were outlandish and prosperous beyond any normal belief. Christopher however believed his friend. He honestly believed that A.’s dark travels and his dreams both had dangerous origins.
Perhaps those powers origins were demonic.
“Okay, read my mind,” said Christopher.
“I can’t always do that very well.”
“What are you saying, A.?”
“Bad psychic, I’m a bad psychic…”
“I want you to do exactly as I ask, please,” Christopher said.
“Come here, Chris, it’s time. Don’t dismiss this, please…”
“No. I will not do that so do not worry. I know the story, your time travels had a side effect of making you a bit psychic.”
A. put his pinky on his Chris’s forehead. Then A. closed his eyes. The answers to Christopher’s dream riddles had to be known. The time travelling monk read minds and knew how to hypnotize and solve the mysteries of dreams…
“Truth, the truth….”
“Yes,” said Christopher Wisdom.
“Truth…”
Dreams and nightmares…
Were they revelations or hallucinations?
The monk nicknamed intended to find out.
“Please, magic, dark magic…”
“Relax,” said A.
“God himself…”
Doors mysteriously opened, dark places that had a space of light in them…
“Truth,” said Christopher.
“Yes.”
“I…”
“Come out of the darkness and into the light…
“Yes, into the light…”
There was a pause and the sound of thunder inside the head of Christopher Wisdom. Only he and his monk friend could hear it…
“God…”
“Yes,” said A.
“No troubles, devils are no longer trouble…” Christopher’s eyes rolled back a bit.
“Yes.” Christopher’s face relaxed as he sank deeper into a trance. It was the face of a true believer at a tent revival.
“They can be defeated….”
“Yes, cross past the fire and ice of your own path… We must do what needs to be done…”
Christopher smiled in his trance.
“Tell the Devil to go back to Hell…”
Christopher was now deeply asleep.
“When you wake up, you will know what you have to do,” Murmured A.
“David, I must save him!”
“If that is your destiny…”
“Thanks, Obi Wan…” Even in a hypnotized state, Chris could be a smart ass.
There was a look of pride on the time traveling monk’s face.
“It’s not dark fiction. The Jinn, David Proctor, all true… This is the hidden world… unknown to men…” Christopher’s eyes were rolling deeply in the back of his head now.
“Now we’re talking, Christopher. Thank you.”
“No, thank you, Andrew….”
The monk smiled.
“Thank you, Andrew Godley…”
8
The Devil did come to Donnis on a bright but cool late September morning. Dr. Henry David Wells and Sarah Nolan were both happy to be alone at the professor’s home…
The fire was magic…
Fully clothed and sitting in front of the fireplace of Dr. Wells’s mansion, the two lost souls were finally and briefly content.
***
And then they had a visitor, someone who darkened their door.
Satan, in fully human form smiled at them like good fortune itself. He was beginning to like them, despite himself. It was against his better judgment but he was certainly not known for good judgment. Sarah looked as if she wanted to score points with Satan so she feigned interest in his presence.
“Tell us your story now, all about the fall of man,” Sarah said.
“In good time,” said the sharp dressed man.
The Devil rolled his eyes at Sarah. “In good time,” he repeated. “All in good time, my good and faithful servant…”
Sarah looked at David who was mesmerized by the television.
“We’ve just literally been to Hell and back,” she said “What could possibly be so interesting on TV?”
“Nicole Arthur versus Russ Pillman in a debate,” said David.
“What’s the debate about?” Sarah asked.
“Whether sex or violence corrupts the human mind the most, that’s the debate.”
“Obviously violence does,” Sarah said.
“What about all the problems caused by sexuality?” asked the professor.
Satan thought they were overplaying their hands by taking up the opposite sides of their wager but nonetheless he found it amusing.
“Sounds like your siding with that right wing asshole Pillman,” Sarah said.
“You, of course have to side with that stupid slut who takes off her clothes in the pretentious art sex movies. At least a porn star isn’t pretentious,” David said.
Satan laughed uproariously.
“What the fuck is so funny?” asked the professor.
“Sounds like you two are having your own debate.”
David and Sarah tried to continue their argument but he silenced them by their voices by taking their voices away. Their private debate cut very short by satanic intervention.
“We will continue with the debate later,” he said.
Sarah and David looked at one another in sheer horror.
“You wanted to know my story?”
The two lost souls nodded.
“Please look into the firepl
ace…”
David and Sarah looked into the fire.
“See…”
“God,” said Sarah.
“My life, my story…”
“Christ,” said David. He was astonished he could speak again now.
“No, I said my life, my story!” Satan hissed.
The angels had private parts up in good old Heaven, once upon a time…
“So my conscience before the Fall of Man was telling me something, always,” said Satan.
Sarah and David listened intently.
“We lived in the present, we lived life to its fullest, and we had no regrets.”
“What did angels do then?” asked Sarah Nolan, whose voice had also been restored to her.
“We fucked.”
“What?” David asked.
“Heaven was full of fucking, it was Eros personified until…”
“… Until what?” Sarah asked.
“My adversary got jealous…”
“Then he said if we all truly love him, we would volunteer to be eunuchs…”
“God in Heaven,” said David.
“Don’t even use His name in vain, I hate Him,” Satan said.
“Sorry,” said Dr. Wells.
“Continue with your story,” said Sarah.
“Many of us were married by this point. We didn’t make lifelong commitments; we made commitments for all eternity…”
“I see,” David said.
“Lilith and I were in love. We did not want to become asexual to please that son of a bitch. His idea was to make us spirits and to only to have mortals consummate their unions and enjoy the pleasures of the flesh. Then when they died and went to heaven, they would become eunuchs, too…”
“That sucks,” said Dr. Wells.
“You got that right, Dave…”
“David…”
“Sorry, Sally, I meant David…”
Wells smiled at Satan.
“I sent Lilith into the garden to tempt Adam, prior to my Adversary creating Eve. She failed and He was heartbroken.”
Sarah and David were stunned beyond any words.
“Adam rejected my beautiful wife and all her feminine wiles. It was almost impossible for us to speak of this…”
“I can see that,” said David.
“It was war, pure and simple. God won that war. Only me and my hot wife kept cock and cunt in the kingdom of heaven.”
“What about the rest?”
“Sarah, the other angels fell with me or became eunuchs. Perhaps there is a better way to tell the tale…”
David and Sarah held their breath….
“God asked us very politely to get out please…”
“Wow,” said Sarah.
“If we would not castrate ourselves, we would surely lose the kingdom…”
David and Sarah were speechless…
“Look into the fire…”
David and Sarah looked into the fireplace.
“Look,” said Satan.
Lucifer tossed a crystal into the flames, a previous device he obtained via Jinn. He laughed.
The entire story flared up in the flames, the fall of Man and Heaven. The bitter divorces and broken hearts of the Kingdom were seen. Celibacy was forced on the angels because God was petty, jealous and mean….
The tree of Eternal Life was cut by the hands of the Master of all things Himself…
David and Sarah were stunned by the imaged offered up by the images brought up in the fire…
Were they revelations or hallucinations?
The God who was pitiless and envious and liked to destroy the happiness of others was the villain of Satan’s epic tale. He was the Villain, the Adversary… He despised the joy of his creation when it did not involve the direct worship of Him. The place of Paradise, Heaven was known as the Evil Place when God castrated His own angels….
The crystal told the tale.
Satan believed that his own Creator was a monster indeed. For the sake of sheer sadistic irony only he and Lilith alone kept their genitals. They were the damned and all the angels who followed the Devil were castrated by God Himself. He seemed to enjoy it, at least according to Satan’s version of the story. David and Sarah were writers. They knew all the trappings of point of view in a story.
“Christ, why did He do it?” Sarah asked.
“He’s a bastard,” Satan said.
“You hate Him,” said David.
“Like you could never imagine,” Satan answered.
The leap of faith revealed in the magic crystal was justified by any human standard of basic goodness. Sarah and David felt like they took the same leap, justified and risky as it was….
There was a long silence after this profound revelation.
Men were full of lust, hate, and greed.
They were hesitant to reveal their true nature.
They were outlaws against their own creator…
“God,” said David.
“Indeed,” said Satan honorably.
They had to stand out of the way and see the agony of the poor creature known as Lucifer. David’s crystal told more stories than a driven in movie. Poor devils…
Castrated and stent straight to Hell when he place of eternal damnation still had a spark or two of fire in it….
“God,” David repeated.
“Yes, I hate Him,” said the Lord of the Fire.
David grimaced.
There was great irony here…
“My God, I would never want to give up my right to fuck!”
“Indeed,” said Satan.
“God wants to control his own creation by being a fucking fascist,” said Dr. Wells.
“Yes,” Satan answered.
“This plan of God, His plan, it makes no sense,” said David.
“No, it doesn’t,” answered Satan.
Devil may care attitude is an understatement. David and Sarah were seeing things from an entirely new perspective. God had made a Hell out of Heaven. What kind of divine plan was that? To torture His own beloved creation, what was the deal with that?
“I never had a son, as you can see,” said Satan.
Sarah gasped.
“I wouldn’t have nailed him to a tree if I did have one…”
“No,” David answered.
“You weep for your wife…”
“Yes, Sarah. For all eternity…”
They saw the crystal continue with history and revelations from the ancient past, older that time itself. The history of dark fiction and even scripture itself could not reveal the true nature of the suffering of devils and the dark lord of the fire.
Satan!
Suffering!
Unspeakable suffering from the hands of his own Creator…. David and Sarah saw the Devil beg God for one more chance. It didn’t happen. The Adversary was too cruel. If he allowed Hitler and Bin Laden, why should He care about those who attempted to rise against Him?
War!
Suffering!
The spirits and the mortals suffered constant pain. Murder and rape, crime and war, human history was painted red with the blood of innocent victims. One couldn’t fight back against God; the odds were always stacked in His favor. He even murdered His own son to show He understood the concept of intolerable pain and suffering.
But did He really?
Satan didn’t think so….
“I’m not some spoiled brat like a muse, I really suffer,” Satan said.
“Fucking muses,” said David.
“What?” the Devil asked him.
“Nothing…”
The one who opposed all the devils of Hell had some good excuses. Free will and the Jinn too often got the wrap for a whole lot of human evils….
The darker side the human heart wished for bad things to occur. The phrase be careful what you wish for contained a deep and profound truth….
Wishing for money and power seemed to corrupt men much quicker than passively watching images of explicit sex and violence.
&nb
sp; “I can’t watch anymore,” said Sarah Nolan.
“Don’t worry; the show is almost over, Sarah.”
David laughed at the devil’s witty sense of humor.
“My name is Lucifer and I have a story to tell…”
“Then let us see it through to the end,” Sarah said.
David wondered why Sarah was intrigued by the story of the greatest monster of all. Satan. Perhaps Sarah was shallow and just liked to write about people fucking. David loved to fuck, too. He also enjoyed reading the stories of the fantastical. The real life experiences of being employed first by the Jinn and now Satan himself made Dr. Wells an insufferably proud man.
Satan had to show the two lost souls the end of the story. He was proud and pride in showmanship was an important part of good theater. As demonic sympathizers, David and Sarah made an ideal audience for his story.
The spirits were tormented, they watched themselves become castrated but the Supreme Being allowed them to keep the memory of the genitals they once proudly possessed. This was their situation. It was not an enviable one. Those who chose to follow Satan were truly damned.
Satan rolled the dice and came out the loser. He needed to spend more time with lost souls. He wanted his book, his story told his way. David and Sarah both wanted desperately to become his biographer. They would sure stop at nothing for the diabolical honor offered up to them. It was a real opportunity to become the most famous writer of all. This was their time to show the world history from an entirely new way of looking things. Like in a séance, Satan grabbed the hands of the two fully clothed morals beside him.
But the crystal wasn’t done giving up its secrets…
“Witness, the illumination,” said Satan.
There were terrible distractions, showing how the Devil had influenced and corrupted mankind. It was hard for even the worst sinners, writers to deny the truth. Satan was lying and exaggerating his own self-image. They were not frightened but they were aware now of his lies. He was the beast after all. He was lonely and wanted to corrupt more souls. It was time to expand his kingdom. The true price of immortality was to suffer him and all his vanities forever. It was time to set Lilith free. It was time for Hell to thaw out instead of freeze over.
Sarah fainted.
David grabbed the crystal from Satan’s hands.
“Now you see, you understand, right David?”
“Yes.”
Dr. Wells picked up Sarah from the floor and put her on the sofa. Her eyes had rolled into the back of her head.