by Amy Beashel
Sandra Dingwall. Says it like it is. One of the most important traits when critiquing. Even if it does make me a little scared, afterwards I’m always grateful. Cheers for your wise and sweary words, which have not only made a huge difference to my books but to my life in Shropshire.
And to my broader writing groups, thanks for putting up with my wobbly voiced readings. You are such a great source of advice, ideas and, well, wine.
I’m massively grateful to all those who read early drafts. Megan Mackenzie, who also answers my random texts about teenagers, Koshesai Fundira, Amy Haslam, Toria Lyle and Josie Phillips.
Special thanks to everyone on the writer’s retreat at Chez Castillon. Izzy would never have made it on to the river if it wasn’t for you. And Julie Cohen, you forced me to make shit happen. And then some more shit. Followed by a little more to boot. Thank you for encouraging me to really put Izzy through it.
Big thanks to my agent Hannah Sheppard, who, when asking to meet me, proved magic happens when you’re a grownup too. Your editorial guidance has been invaluable, as has your ability to humour me when – in moments of despair – I genuinely believed space hopper-shaped cookies could be the answer.
The writing process is filled with self-doubt and a fair bit of crying. After meeting my publishers for the first time, I walked to the station, got on the train and promptly burst into tears. This time, happy ones. Shadi Doostdar, Gill Evans, Harriet Wade, Aimee Oliver-Powell, Kate Bland, Molly Scull and Laura McFarlane, thanks so so much for believing in Izzy. And in me. Gill, your edits were all spot on, I might – if I were pushing a theme here – go as far as to say they worked like magic. (Ps. They did.)
And to the rest of the team at Rock the Boat, thank you for turning my story into an actual real-life, hold-it-in-yourhands and maybe-even-kiss-it book. That right there is wizardry.
Cheers to Dean Bishton at Pengwern Boat Club for taking me out on the river, to Claire Evans at Cafcass and to Sasha, for sharing your own experience of domestic abuse. I’m so happy that, like Izzy, you are able to use your voice.
To my funny, kind, superstar children, Monty and Dolly. I hope your voices, which are these days filled with funfair, moxie and magic, continue to be loud and strong and filled with your own self-worth. Because you are worth everything. I love you more than hot chocolate. Fact.
Thanks to Game of Thrones and Netflix for providing my husband with entertainment so he didn’t so much mind the evenings I spent writing and he spent alone.
And Phil. It is not an exaggeration to say I couldn’t have done this without you. There are so many reasons why. From our first not-date when I dribbled orange juice through my nose, you retained a faith in me so absolute it overcame heartaches, foreign departures and, even, an exercise ball popped in wild and frustrated fury. You gave me time and space. You gave me a desk. You even gave me a room of one’s own. Most importantly, you gave me love. When I said I wanted to open a stationery shop and you said no, I called you a dream smasher. What I realise now is that you were never smashing my dream but doing your utmost to ensure that the real one – this one! – came true. And that, MDH, is the very best magic of all.
HELP AND SUPPORT (UK)
British Pregnancy Advisory Service
www.bpas.org
03457 30 40 30
Help and support for unplanned pregnancy and abortion.
Brook
www.brook.org.uk
Confidential information and support regarding sexual health, sexual wellbeing and contraception for people under twenty-five.
Childline
www.childline.org.uk
0800 1111
Support for young people, no matter what they’re going through.
Disrespect Nobody
www.disrespectnobody.co.uk
Information and support on relationship abuse, sexting, consent, rape, porn and harassment.
Jewish Women’s Aid
www.jwa.org.uk
Domestic abuse helpline: 0808 801 0500
Sexual violence support: 0808 801 0656
Support for Jewish women and children affected by domestic and sexual violence.
Men’s Advice Line
www.mensadviceline.org.uk
0808 801 0327
Advice and support for men experiencing domestic violence and abuse.
Nour Domestic Violence Support
www.nour-dv.org.uk
Provides access to professional and legal Islamic advisors who are able to offer psychological support and appropriate counselling to victims of domestic violence.
Rape Crisis England & Wales
www.rapecrisis.org.uk
0808 802 9999
Independent specialist support services for women and girls who have experienced child sexual abuse, rape or any kind of sexual violence at any time.
Refuge
www.refuge.org.uk
0808 2000 247
Freephone 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge. Help for women and children experiencing domestic abuse.
Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
116 123
Whatever you’re going through, Samaritans will listen.
Scarleteen
www.scarleteen.com
Inclusive support regarding sexuality and relationships for teens and young adults.
Survivors UK
www.survivorsuk.org
Information and support for boys and men who have been raped or sexually abused.
Welsh Women’s Aid
www.welshwomensaid.org.uk
0808 80 10 800
Women’s Aid
www.womensaid.org.uk
0808 2000 247
Freephone 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge.
Help for women and children experiencing domestic abuse.
HELP AND SUPPORT (US)
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
online.rainn.org
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 8oo-656-HOPE (4673)
The largest anti-sexual violence organisation in the United States of America.
End Rape On Campus
endrapeoncampus.org
Works to end campus sexual violence by supporting survivors, education and policy reform.
FORGE
forge-forward.org
A national transgender anti-violence organisation helping transgender, gender nonconforming and gender nonbinary survivors of sexual assault.
1in6
1in6.org
Support for male victims of unwanted sexual experiences, sexual abuse and sexual violence.
National Sexual Violence Resource Center
nsvrc.org
A national information and resource organisation that works with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to collect and share resources with people and organisations trying to understand and eliminate sexual violence.
Safe Horizon
safehorizon.org
Offers resources to survivors of human trafficking, child abuse, stalking, youth homelessness and domestic violence.
The Trevor Project
thetrevorproject.org
1-866-488-7386
Crisis intervention and suicide prevention for LGBTQ+ youth, offering a hotline (phone, text and online chat), and educational resources for family and allies.
Planned Parenthood
plannedparenthood.org
Provides vital reproductive health care, sex education and information.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
1. Why does Max feel unable to speak out against Jacob at the start of the novel? Is his silence comparable to Izzy’s?
2. On page 94, Izzy describes a moment of realisation: ‘I guess that’s when I first realised how small our lives are… how people rarely look beyond their horizon.’ (p.94) Do you think this realisation is important to the rest of the narrative? Is Izzy also gui
lty of not being able to see beyond her horizon?
3. Do Steph and Grace have some culpability in Izzy’s unhappiness? What does the novel teach us about what it means to be a good person?
4. Silence is one of the novel’s major themes. Is there a relationship between silence and shame?
5. When Izzy’s mum Steph went back to Daniel the first time, Izzy lost her sense of safety. Do you agree with Izzy that: ‘It’s like riding a bike, I guess, that ability to feel safe again: all you need is the vehicle and your body remembers the rest.’? (p. 106) Do you think she feels safe again by the end of the novel?
6. Jacob and Daniel both inflict physical harm on Izzy and Steph. Must violence be overt to cause harm? What do you understand by the word coercion?
7. To what extent does love play a role in the book?
8. There is a gap between what Izzy feels and what she does. Why do you think this is? Is there always a conflict between our thoughts and our actions?
9. ‘I hadn’t known she was in me, that girl who won’t stand for it, that girl who won’t sit quietly on the sidelines while those boys flaunt their god-given ‘right’ to say and do what they want with our bodies. Where’s she been all these years?’ (p.149) Why does Izzy decide now that she will no longer be silenced? Do you think this is the first time she realises she has been mistreated?
10. In light of Izzy’s story, what do you understand by consent? Should consent be taught in schools?
A Rock the Boat Book
First published by Rock the Boat, an imprint of Oneworld Publications, 2020
This ebook edition published 2020
Copyright © Amy Beashel, 2020
The moral right of Amy Beashel to be identified as the Author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events or locales is entirely coincidental
This book contains material which some readers may find distressing, including discussions of rape, coercive behaviour, domestic violence and abuse. We are grateful to sexual health and wellbeing charity Brook for undertaking a sensitivity read.
All rights reserved
Copyright under Berne Convention
A CIP record for this title is available from the British Library
ISBN 978-1-78607-555-0 (Paperback)
ISBN 978-1-78607-864-3 (Hardback)
eISBN 978-1-78607-556-7
Oneworld Publications
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3754 Pleasant Ave, Suite 100, Minneapolis, MN 55409, USA
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