With a sigh, Natalie sat down next to Declan's sister, the same woman she considered a friend a few days before. "You're his family. I know you care about him. I know you love him." Natalie turned slightly so she could meet Hannah's eyes when she spoke the next words. "I'll tell you something I haven't even told him, and I expect you not to repeat it."
“I swear, I won’t.”
"I'm in love with him."
“That’s what I was afraid of,” Hannah said with a frown.
"No, you don't understand." Natalie grasped Hannah's hands and held them in her own. "I'm telling you I love Declan more than anything. I love him more than anything I could want for myself. A…mate. Children. That perfect picture means nothing without him in it, and unfortunately, he'll probably never be able to be in it. Allowing him to mate me, allowing him to bite me, would destroy him. I love him too damn much for that."
A small gasp escaped from Hannah’s mouth as she absorbed what Natalie was telling her.
“I refuse to do that to him. I refuse to hurt him or your family. What I’ve wanted in life has never been easy for me to achieve, but perhaps what I wanted wasn’t what I needed.”
“What will you do?”
Natalie shrugged and dropped Hannah’s hand. “I don’t know, but I won’t walk away from him either. Not until he’s ready for me to go. Then I’ll just have to pick up the pieces and figure it out.”
The past day had been a welcome refuge for Declan. He enjoyed every moment he spent with Natalie. Loving, talking, sleeping. Just being in her company had been enough.
The phone call from Gabriel was the only thing that had pulled him from the bed. He'd been ready to dig into his cousin and give him a piece of his mind for going over his head by discussing the bainise bracelet with Malcolm instead of him, but he hesitated as soon as Gabriel said, "I need your help."
"What do you need?"
"The fae of Peine are waging war against the New Freedom shifters."
"Really? I heard talk about it in the Council House, but the fae denied any involvement and blamed it on rogues."
"From what I understand, it's not rogues. It's the whole damn village and then some. Lila got a call from her friend Maggie who mated with one of the shifters there - a man by the name of Jonah Cowan. He's the lead enforcer, and they're begging for reinforcements. I want your permission to take a few volunteers from Cantor and head up there to help."
Declan paused, almost too surprised that for once in his life Gabriel was asking for his permission instead of just telling him what he was going to do or what he already did.
Considering Gabriel's request and the potential of a fight looming in front of his cousin, Declan didn't mention the bracelet nor did he mention anything about Gabriel mating Lila. Instead, he said, "Permission granted. Take up volunteers, and I'll see what I can do about sending you some of our enforcers."
"Thanks, Declan."
"I have a feeling we're going to need as many allies as we can get soon," he confessed. "And Gabriel?"
"Yeah?"
"Try not to get yourself killed."
Declan ended the call, placed the follow-up requests to some of his enforcers, and went back to Natalie knowing Gabriel would have at least ten men with him, if not more once he wrangled up some volunteers.
After that, he was done with politics for the day, but he still checked his phone periodically to make sure it wasn't Gabriel or Kaleb.
Gabriel shot him a text while they were eating to let him know they made it back to Cantor in one piece. Hannah looked over his shoulder when his phone dinged.
"What's Gabriel doing?"
Declan cleared his throat and swiped away the message. "Same old." He didn't want to elaborate.
Hannah had been acting strangely since they left the apartment. She stared at Declan all throughout lunch as if she were hiding something from him. Some little secret that she was dying to reveal but couldn't. She chomped on her burger, a small, telling smile plastered on her face.
She was getting on his nerves.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked after they got back into the SUV after strolling for a while along the harbor. Natalie mentioned over lunch that she’d come all the way to Boston without seeing the harbor, so Hannah had been the one to suggest the walk. He was happy to do it, but it just gave his sister plenty more opportunities to get under his skin.
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re acting weird.”
“Pshhh… please, Declan. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He met his sister’s eyes in the rearview. “You’ve been acting weird since we left the apartment. What’s going on? Is it Bowinger again?”
The way his sister retched dramatically at the sound of the shifter’s name answered that question.
“Declan, she’s been fine,” Natalie interjected.
“You don’t see it maybe, but she’s had this little grin on her face all afternoon. It’s aggravating.”
“You think I’m aggravating because I’m smiling? Don’t be a douchebag.”
He growled. "I'm not a douchebag."
Natalie frowned. "To be honest, it's a little douchey…"
Frustrated, he whacked the heel of palm on the steering wheel. Leave it to Hannah to get under his skin and make him look like a tool. "You're hiding something. I can smell it." Her skin paled slightly, and he spun around in his seat to face her. "What is it? Is it Dad?"
“No.”
“What is it?”
“Declan, stop it,” Natalie said, her voice low. “Let’s go back.”
He took a long breath in through his nose, his eyes narrowing on Natalie. “Why are you afraid? Are you afraid of me?”
"Declan," Hannah said, reaching her hand up through the seats and squeezing his arm, "if she's afraid it's because you're acting weird."
He flinched, glanced once at Natalie, and then started the car. As much as he wanted to get to the bottom of Hannah's behavior, he reigned himself in for Natalie's sake. After years and years of Hannah hiding crap, he learned to smell it on her. She was never good at keeping secrets, and he was determined to find out what she was hiding.
The drive back to the house was done in silence. No one spoke, and Hannah had lost that telling smirk that irritated him so much just a short time earlier.
What was wrong with him? Ever since his father had cornered him in the foyer, he felt different. Even he recognized it in himself. He wasn’t one to buck authority. He never rebelled as a teenager, not really. Sneaking a few beers every now and again with Kaleb and Gabriel wasn’t really considered rebelling when it came down to it.
Now, every time he and Natalie had had sex over the past thirty-six hours, it had taken just about every bit of restraint he had not to bite her. Every time they were together became increasingly more difficult to keep his promise. It couldn't be just because his father told him he couldn't, could it?
No, he told himself. His father had nothing to do with it. It was him. It was the creature inside of him that was demanding it with increased urgency. Every time he refused to give into temptation only served to amp up his frustration at not being able to do the one thing he wanted.
Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he pulled into the driveway and stopped next to the garage. He was calm when he unbuckled his seatbelt and turned, once again, to face Hannah. “Tell me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, her voice light and full of lies.
Natalie’s hand fell on his arm. “Declan, don’t.”
“She’s hiding something—”
“Enough!” Natalie yelled, startling him and rendering him speechless. “Hannah, thank you for inviting us out. I had a great time until this one decided to try to ruin it.”
“Yeah, sure. Anytime.” Hannah fled the car then, leaving him alone with Natalie.
“Nat, what the hell—”
When the tears started to well in her eyes, he felt
sick. What had he done to cause that? He didn't know, but he did know he was the cause.
“Dammit, Declan,” she said, slapping his arm once before quickly wiping her eyes and jumping from the SUV.
He followed her, unlocked the door for them, and all but chased her up the stairs. “Nat, stop. Tell me what’s going on.” She was halfway to the bedroom when he grabbed hold of her wrist, stopping her before she could escape behind the bedroom door. “Stop, dammit. Stop and talk to me.”
“Talk to you!” she roared, turning on him. “Talk to you! Ever since dinner with your parents you’ve been different and yet you didn’t give me the courtesy of talking to me about it even when I asked.”
“That was different.” He stroked his thumb over the back of her hand, hoping the small gesture would serve to calm her.
“How? How was it different?”
“I didn’t want to upset you.”
She huffed out a breath. “And how do you think it would upset me? What did your dad say to you?”
"He said I couldn't mate you!" Declan growled, dropping her hand and putting his hands behind his head, unsure what to do now. "He'll never accept you because you're not a werewolf."
“Well, no shit Declan. I’ve known that since we started all this. How is that going to upset me?”
“After Lila and Gabriel—”
"We're not them. It worked out for them—for now, I may add—and good for them, but you and I? We're not them. We're you and me. Right here, right now, arguing about stupid stuff. What should be, what will never be, and yadda yadda."
He dropped his hands to his side and met her frustrated gaze. She stopped crying, thank goodness, but the redness crept up her neck from her irritation. "What wasn't Hannah telling me?"
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said, ready to turn on her heel.
"Hold up a minute. You don't want to talk about it, but I'm supposed to tell you everything I didn't want to discuss between my father and me?"
With a weak little human growl, Natalie spat, “Fine. Fine. I fucking love you, you stupid werewolf. That’s what she was hiding because I asked her not to say anything to you about it. She wasn’t trying to be deceptive. And that smirk on her face, the one that got on your nerves so damn badly, was probably because after I told her all that mess, she told me she was happy for me. For us. Even though you and I will end up as nothing and you'll break my fucking heart eventually, at that moment, she called me her sister and said she was happy for me."
She dashed away the tears that overflowed then. "And now you've gone and spoiled it when all I was doing was just trying to wait until we got home—"
Declan hauled her against his chest, his mouth crashing down on hers. He stood there like an idiot, listening to her tirade, all the while absorbing those three little words he already felt in his soul.
When her knees gave in, and she clung to him, meeting his kiss with fervor, he lifted her from the floor. Breaking away, he took in her tear-stained face and met her eyes. Never surer of anything in his entire life, he declared, "I'll never break your heart, Natalie. Mate or not, I'll never break your heart."
He hadn't said the words, but he didn't have to. He said better ones. Ones that meant more to her than a simple I love you. And just like the Declan she knew and loved always did, he took her fear away in that instant and replaced it with hope and joy.
“Declan,” she murmured, kissing him until they were both breathless. He moved with her until they were back in the bedroom and her back was pressed against the mattress.
When he stood to strip off his t-shirt, she pulled her own long-sleeved shirt from her skin and tossed it to the side. She wanted nothing between them. Not a single piece of fabric, not a single lie, not any kind of misunderstanding. She loved this man. Loved him more than it should be possible to love someone else.
She unbuttoned her jeans, but it was Declan who hooked the waistband and tore them from her legs. It was him who all but tore her bra from her and pushed her panties to the side so he could thrust two thick digits inside of her.
He dragged her to the edge of the bed. Her legs were wide open as he shoved his jeans out of the way and gripped his erection. Before she could suck in a breath, he withdrew his finger and drove into her.
“Nat,” he said on a moan, his jeans still around his thighs. She hooked her legs around his waist as he stood to his full height, his hands gripping her hips and lifting her bottom half off the bed in the process.
Declan backed out and surged forward again, each muscle in his chest and abdomen tightening as he moved. Oh, but the look on his face. It was enough to drive her wild. Intense blue eyes seeing every little reaction she had to even his slightest movement, entirely focused on her. His teeth clenched; his mouth a thin line.
He scraped his teeth over his bottom lip. She didn't miss the protruding canines. Natalie clawed at him, wanting him closer to her, and needing desperately to touch him. Declan pushed her across the bed with his hips, climbing onto the mattress and settling between her thighs.
She wrapped her legs around him just as he rolled his hips. Oh, he was buried deep. Right where she wanted him. "Right there," she cried when he hit that sweet spot just right. "Ohhhh!"
His mouth was on hers then. Kissing her, suckling on her bottom lip and nipping the flesh. His hand on her chin, he pushed her head up and broke the kiss, moving down her neck, his teeth scraping the skin.
Suddenly, that forbidden mating bite was very, very real.
“Declan,” she sputtered nervously, “Declan.”
“Tell me yes,” he growled against her throat. “Tell me I can keep you.”
“Declan, don’t. You’ll regret it. Don’t.”
A low snarl sounded from somewhere deep in his chest, vibrating against her. “Never. I’ll never regret it.”
Oh, this couldn’t be happening. What was worse was that she couldn’t believe how much she wanted him not to listen to reason. How much she wanted what he was offering. She knew he wasn’t lying. He wouldn’t regret it if she told him to do it, but could she live with herself if she allowed him to do it?
“We’re already bound, Nat,” he said into the crook of her neck. “You already bound us.”
Those words she spoke around Lila’s kitchen table came slamming back. We call forth our soul mates…we seek to bind with these men and create lasting relationships… Was that what this was? Why he was so willing to protect her? Why, even now, he was waiting for some sort of approval rather than just breaking her skin with his teeth?
He stopped moving, but he didn’t withdraw. The beast inside him was waiting. Waiting for either her permission or refusal. Whatever she told him, she knew he would accept her answer, but also recognized denying him would not only hurt him but hurt her in the process. This moment would also mark the first in the thousands of times he'd press his teeth against her skin and ask her to accept him.
"I want to tell you yes. I want it more than anything, but Declan, I can't hurt you. I won't," she cried. At first, she thought he'd protest, but then hard teeth were replaced by soft kisses, and she was melting against him, arching into him, as he began to move his hips once again.
Before long, his pleading was all but forgotten. Nails digging into shoulder blades, she clutched him to her as he drove into her, pushing her closer and closer to the edge.
"I love you, Nat," he said against her skin just as the spasms of orgasm shot through her. "Remember that."
She barely had time to comprehend what he said when a sudden sharp ache slammed into her shoulder, just above her collarbone. Natalie gasped at the realization of what Declan just did. An intense throbbing pain started deep in her shoulder where he latched as he emptied himself inside of her.
"Declan…" Dazed by the sudden sensations threatening to overtake her, she clung to him. The rumbling in his chest turned into a loud, content animal-like groan as lightning-bright euphoria blinded her.
More, her instincts screamed. Mine.
Thrashing beneath him, she couldn’t understand what it was she needed but had no doubt he knew, and he did. Declan eased off her shoulder for half a second before he was back on her, his lips sealed over the wound just as he raised his dripping forearm to her mouth.
As soon as his blood touched her lips, she was lost. They both were.
Natalie didn’t know how long they laid there like that, completely and utterly lost in each other as her cells were ripped apart and pushed back together. She should be upset with him. Should be, but wasn’t.
“Why?” she asked softly after she had enough sense in her head to form a coherent phrase.
Declan still laid between her legs, using her left tit as a pillow and running his fingertips over her ribcage. "Because I love you. Because not being your mate is completely unacceptable, to both me and my beast. Because a single day without you next to me is a life neither one of us wants."
“Your family—”
"Will either learn to accept it or not. Doesn't matter. My position doesn't matter, not without you there with me." He turned enough to meet her gaze. "Do you regret it?"
She shook her head. “No.”
“Good. If I had to do it over, I’d do the same thing again. Every single time.”
“Silly werewolf,” she said with a content sigh.
“No, Nat. Silly mate.”
The moon streamed in through the window when she fell asleep, tucked safely in his arms. Several hours later, she forced herself from his side because her bladder wouldn't wait another minute. She tiptoed to the bathroom, hoping she didn't wake him, but as far as she could tell, he remained sleeping soundly.
She grabbed her cellphone from the table and sent a single text to Lila. I’m mated. If anyone understood, it would be her. With a smile, she went back into the bedroom and pulled on the t-shirt Declan had worn earlier in the day and her pajama shorts, which she found scrunched in a ball under his hastily discarded shirt.
It smelled like his cologne and…something else. What was it? She struggled to identify the scent, but couldn’t. In fact, now that her nose was working overtime, she couldn’t stop using it. Everything smelled different. Even Declan.
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