by TJ Klune
Josy thought that was adorable but wisely kept it to himself. Gustavo Tiberius did not like being told he was adorable.
“I like your little muscles,” Bernice said, pinching his arm before she followed Bertha and Betty inside.
Josy bent down and picked up the helmet and goggles. When he stood upright again, Gustavo was watching him.
Josy grinned. “It’s good to see you, man.”
Gustavo’s lips twitched like they were fighting a losing battle not to smile. “I guess. There are a lot of strange people in town because of you.”
Josy shrugged. “Good for business, right?”
“One of your movie people came into the store and asked if we had Transformers: Age of Extinction. Do you know what that is?”
Josy winced. “Uh, maybe?”
“It’s a film,” Gustavo said, “in which apparently a gigantic robot rides another gigantic robot that’s actually a dinosaur. Do you want to know how I know that?”
“You… watched it?”
That was probably the wrong thing to say.
Gustavo narrowed his eyes. “I know that because this man proceeded to tell me how it was super cool, and that I needed to see it to believe it.”
“Is he still alive?” Josy whispered, not understanding why either answer would be fine with him.
“Barely. But he is banned from the video store for life, and I cannot promise there won’t be a ruckus in the streets if we come face-to-face. Casey ordered me a video from the Internet that tells me how to be more assertive. I haven’t yet gotten to the part that teaches me how to incapacitate someone with the least amount of bloodshed, but I assume it’s coming. Otherwise it is a waste of three monthly installments of $19.99.”
“I missed you,” Josy said honestly.
Gustavo looked vaguely uncomfortable. “We talk once a week.”
“It’s not the same as getting to see your face. It’s a nice face.”
“I don’t know why you think so, but it could be worse. I could look like Michael Bay and have an expression of perpetual smugness that I don’t deserve when I make robot dinosaurs for reasons that boggle the mind. I’m still disappointed you haven’t found out where he lives. I took the THC mint off your pillow because of it.”
Josy deflated. “Aw, man. Come on. Casey said—”
“And Quincy is here too.”
That caught Josy off guard. His heart tripped a little. “He is? Like, right now?”
Gustavo nodded. “He’s inside with Casey. He seems… nervous. About everything. He twitches. I respect that.”
“Yeah, man. That’s Quincy for you.”
Gustavo squinted at him. “Why do you sound like that?”
“Like what?”
“You sounded weird just now when you talked about him.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Whatever. Like I’ve told all the other guests who stay here, there are to be no wild Hollywood parties at Baked-Inn & Eggs. I expect you to keep things under control. No hookers or heroin or whatever it is you do in California. Do you understand me?”
“Sex workers,” Josy said automatically.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re not supposed to say hooker. Or prostitute. It’s rude. You call them sex workers. There is a negative connotation behind—”
Gustavo wasn’t having it. “I don’t care what you call them. I just don’t want them here. If you must hire one for a—a shindig, then you take them to the motel down the road where everyone else is staying.”
“We’re not going to hire sex workers, Gustavo. I don’t even know any sex workers. Wait, that was a lie. I know six. But I don’t know any here.” He squinted at Gustavo. “Are there sex workers in Abby?”
“I don’t doubt it,” Gustavo said. “Pastor Tommy probably knew, but he never told me about them. He knew everything about everyone.”
“Pretty cool dude, huh?”
Gustavo sighed. “Yeah. He was. But regardless, I know you’re famous now or whatever, but this is still a small town. Don’t make things weird.”
“I’m not famous yet,” Josy assured him. “I mean, maybe I will be, but right at this moment? You don’t have anything to worry about. Pretty much no one in this movie is well known.”
“Tell that to Mason Grazer.”
“Um. Okay? Why?”
Gustavo threw up his hands. “Oh my god. The first thing he did when he got here was demand bottled water be sent to his room, because apparently he doesn’t do tap. And then he tried to flirt with Casey. I mean, what the hell.”
“I hate that guy! I mean, sure, yeah, tap water is disgusting, but still! Did you maim him?”
Gustavo shook his head. “I thought about it, but Casey said the FBI can track it when you order arsenic online. And I don’t know anyone that sells it around here.”
“Oh. That sucks. I mean, it’s probably for the best that you don’t poison someone.”
“That’s what Casey said,” Gustavo muttered. “But Casey told Mason, and I quote, ‘totally in love with the best dude, like, you don’t even know,’ and then Mason left him alone.”
“Aw. Gustavo, that’s so special.”
“It’s terrible is what it is.”
“You’re smiling.”
“I am not. I’m working out my facial muscles. Come inside. You’re late, and I have to get back to the store soon.”
He turned and headed inside.
Josy followed him. He was pretty sure he’d follow Gustavo anywhere.
THE INTERIOR of Baked-Inn & Eggs was warm and cozy, filled with couches and pillows and blankets and those moon chairs that Josy imagined every single person in the world had in their first apartment because they were so adult. He’d never had one because he had never been able to afford it, but he’d sat in one at an Ikea once. It had been an uncomfortably transcendent experience.
The We Three Queens were nowhere in sight. Josy hoped they weren’t throwing his luggage into the woods behind the house.
There was a tiny desk set up near the main entrance, and standing beside it with a lopsided grin and a messy bun on top of his head was Casey Richards.
And next to him, looking flustered and anxious, was Quincy Moore.
“Best day ever,” Josy whispered fervently.
No one heard him, but that was okay. Gustavo went over to Casey and leaned forward, kissing him on the cheek. Casey’s smile widened. “You need to head back to the store?”
“Yes. It’s Friday. Sometimes people rent movies on Fridays. I need to be there to meet the demand. I’ll come back after I close since you insisted on having dinner with everyone.”
“Yeah, dude. That’s great. Don’t forget the ferret with merit. Lottie texted and said that he ate part of her phonebook. I didn’t even know they still made phonebooks.”
Gustavo frowned. “Of course they do. How else are you supposed to know phone numbers of places you need to call?”
“Oh man, I love you.”
“Yes, well, I expect you would,” Gustavo said, sounding flustered. “I’m leaving now. I will be back at five thirty. Maybe later, depending on how long it takes for me to vacuum the floors. You know I have to vacuum on Fridays. Just because people are here doesn’t mean I can’t vacuum my store.”
Casey shrugged. “I know. You do you. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
Gus nodded, hesitated, and then leaned in and kissed Casey’s cheek again. He muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like I love you too, but Josy couldn’t be sure.
Gustavo nodded at Quincy and then turned back toward the door.
“I’m not going to hug you again,” he said to Josy. “I just hugged you five minutes ago, and we don’t need to do it again.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been surer about anything in my life.”
“Fist bump?”
Gustavo scowled. “Of course not. Oh my god, I’m not your bro. I don’t wa
nt to play hacky sack or drink a brewski with you. Why on earth would you think I’m the type that fist-bumps anything?”
He had a point. “High five, then.”
Gustavo glared at him.
Josy dropped his hand.
“It’s nice to see you,” Gustavo muttered as he walked by him toward the door. “I’m happy you’re here. I missed you. If you need to practice your lines, you know where to find me.” He slammed the door behind him.
But Josy had no time to react to this astonishing revelation. As soon as the door shut, he had an armful of Casey. And that was pretty okay.
“Dude,” Casey said happily near his ear.
“Dude!” Josy said back, equally as pleased as he squeezed Casey tight.
“Like, right?”
“Totally.”
“So cool.”
“I know!”
Casey pulled away so he could look at Josy. “I can’t believe you’re here! And for six whole weeks.” His eyes widened. “That’s a long time.”
“So long,” Josy agreed. “How’s tricks?”
“Same old, same old. I think I’m living the dream, dude. Got a good guy, my own B and B, and Quincy here just helped me get over my writer’s block.”
Josy looked over Casey’s shoulder to see Quincy looking as if he was about to run. “He did? Oh man, that’s so rad.”
Quincy cleared his throat and reached up to fiddle with his glasses. “I don’t—I didn’t do anything.”
Casey stepped away. “Nah, dude, totally give yourself credit. You’ve earned it.”
“Yes, but all I did was come down here and ask for another pillow.”
“Right? And then we started talking about how cavemen probably used rocks as pillows—”
“Actually, you started talking about that—”
“—and then that led to a discussion on the Boston Tea Party—”
“And I don’t even know why.”
“—and now my writer’s block is gone,” Casey finished. “I’ve got so many ideas. I need to go email my agent before I forget. Quincy, I know you don’t work here, but can you show Josy to his room? That would be awesome. I’ll be back in a little bit. Thanks, man.” He disappeared down the hall.
“Wow,” Josy said, coming to stand next to Quincy. “That was nice of you. His writer’s block was bumming him out.”
Quincy shook his head. “I have no idea what happened.”
“You did a good thing,” Josy said. And then he was stumped. How did one greet a sort-of friend that was also technically his boss? Did they hug? Did they bump shoulders? Did they come up with a complicated handshake that goes on for a good solid minute? Josy wasn’t sure.
So he did none of those things. He just stood there awkwardly.
Which made things more awkward, as Quincy did the same thing.
The silence stretched on for ten seconds. Josy knew this because he counted. And this was far longer than he was comfortable with. He needed to fix it. He said, “So.”
Quincy cleared his throat. “So.”
Okay, this was a good start. He could do this. “How is… everything?”
“Um. Fine? Everything is fine. I think.”
Josy nodded. “Good. That’s good.”
“Yes. It is. Good.”
“Good.” Josy thought maybe he was drowning, but since he wasn’t in water, he didn’t know why he felt that way. So he said, “Did you try your THC mint that was left on your pillow?”
Quincy grimaced. “No. I don’t do… that.”
“Oh. Oh! That’s… cool. I mean, I do, but you don’t have to.” He panicked slightly. “Not that I’ll be high whenever I’m on set or needing to be on set. I would never do that. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“O… kay. That’s good to know.”
“And I’ll never pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do. Just because I enjoy something doesn’t mean others will.” He hesitated. Then, all in a rush, “Because that’s not what friends do to each other.”
Quincy blushed. “Oh. Um. Thanks?”
Josy nodded, pleased that Quincy didn’t object to being friends. As Gustavo would say, today was an okay day. “And I enjoy it. I mean, I enjoy it a lot. Like, you don’t even know.”
“It’s good to have hobbies?”
Josy sagged in relief. “Sweet. I’m glad we talked about this. I feel better. Do you like it here? I really like it here. It’s quiet, you know? LA is all bam and blam, and Abby is all hey, man, take a breather. Take a break. Cool your jets, you know?”
“It’s… different. I like it, though. The people are nice, mostly.” He frowned. “There was a group of women who told me I’d wandered into a den of cougars. They growled at me. It was odd.”
“Yeah,” Josy said. “That happens here. Xander gave me anticougar spray as a joke before I left, but then he took it back because he thought I would actually spray them. Which, I mean, why give it to me in the first place?”
Quincy stared at him.
Josy smiled in return.
Quincy squeaked.
“You okay?”
“Fine!” he said. “Just… fine.”
That was good. “Where is everyone else?”
“Roger and Dee went with some of the crew who got here this morning. Wanted to show them some of the locations they’d scouted. Mason was refusing to come out of his room until someone brings him a macchiato, but Dee told him to get it himself, and now he’s pouting, I think? Especially after Gus told him that there was no espresso machine here because espresso machines are pointless and probably give off radiation.”
“Gustavo is the bomb dot com.”
“He seems interesting. Is that the right word?”
Josy shrugged. “There are no words that’re good enough to describe Gustavo.”
Quincy opened his mouth, and then it snapped shut. He looked down at his hands before apparently deciding to try again. “Yeah, he’s…. When we got here, I was worried. For Grandad. He’s independent. He likes to do things on his own. Always been that way. He doesn’t let being in a wheelchair stop him from anything.” He popped his knuckles. “I didn’t see how he was going to get in the house without help. All those stairs.” He smiled weakly. “But then Casey came out and told me they’d had a wheelchair ramp built on the back of the house.” He looked up at Josy, a strange expression on his face. “Said it was your idea. That you called him and asked for it to be built.”
Josy nodded. “Oh yeah! I forgot about that. Cool, right? Casey was always going to do it. He wanted the B and B to be for everyone who wanted to stay here. I just asked if he could build one sooner rather than later.”
“Thank you,” Quincy said quietly. “You… that was nice of you.”
Josy rubbed the back of his neck, oddly embarrassed. “Yeah.”
Quincy shuffled his feet. “Yeah.”
“Oh my god,” someone whispered. “It’s happening again! Is it us? I think it has to be us. We have gifts.”
They both looked up to see the faces of the We Three Queens peering down at them from over the banister on the floor above. Bernice was grinning. Bertha had her head cocked. Betty’s eyes were narrowed.
Josy was confused. “What’s happening?”
“Nothing at all,” Bernice said sweetly. “You’re doing amazing, sweetie.” She looked at Bertha and Betty. “Did I say that right? I don’t quite understand memes.”
“Your room is ready,” Bertha said.
“Double time!” Betty barked.
They double-timed up the stairs.
“DUDE,” JOSY said in awe. “We get to share a room!”
“So it seems,” Quincy mumbled.
“How about that,” Bernice said.
“Weird how that worked out,” Bertha said.
“I put your bags inside,” Betty told Josy. “I was going to unpack for you, but then I remembered you’re a man, even if you dress like a sixteen-year-old at a rock festival. So you need to do it your
self. And you will make your bed every morning. There are no maids here. I expect the corners to be tight. I won’t say there will be random inspections, but I won’t not say it either.”
“She was in the Army,” Bernice whispered to Quincy. “She likes to take charge. Sometimes I like it. Like when we can’t figure out what we want for dinner.”
Quincy stared at her. “Do you… do you all work here too? I could have sworn you said at the audition you were retired.”
Bernice patted his arm. “That’s nice.”
Josy gave Betty a snappy salute. “Yes, ma’am.”
Betty nodded. “Good. Since we’re going to be working together, I will expect things to be done in a certain way. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have lines to run. Ladies, let’s leave them to it.”
Bertha squeezed his arm as she followed Betty down the stairs. Bernice stopped at the landing, looking back over her shoulder. “You should know that I can be very intense about the things I love. And I think I will love you, Quincy. You’re my first director. I will always remember you.” She hummed as she descended the stairs.
“Who are they?” Quincy asked.
“Right? They’re amazing.”
“Are they….”
Josy waited.
“All together? Or…?”
“I mean, yeah. They’re always together. I don’t think they like being apart.”
Quincy sighed. “That’s not—you know what? It’s none of my business. I need to go lie down. The past few days have been a little crazy. I’m getting a headache.”
And since they were now confirmed to be friends, Josy said, “We’re roommates, so I’ll help you however you need. Like, a cold washcloth for your head. Or tea, because I know Casey has normal tea and not weed tea somewhere. Or if you just want someone to sit by you so you have company. Because I can sit by you and not talk. My friend Xander says I have a really good shoulder to lay your head on. And he doesn’t lie about anything, even if it hurts your feelings.”
Quincy smiled faintly. “That’s good to know. But I’m okay. I just need quiet for a little while.”
“I get that,” Josy said seriously. “Sometimes I like to lay on my bed in the dark and stare at the ceiling and think about things, like how I’m happy I got my big break and why do taquitos taste so good, even the frozen kind.”