by Dana Mason
“But…”
“But I’m afraid you’re not going to like what you find out, and you need to prepare yourself for it.” He stared at her for a long moment. “A story like this, abandoned babies and…well…” He shrugged. “You shouldn’t get your hopes up.”
“I’m not hopeful. I don’t expect to find my long lost biological mother and have this healthy, happy reunion. I just want to know where I came from, who left me, and what led to that type of choice. Was I left there to die? Was the Mortons’ house picked on purpose or, I don’t know, was I thrown from the car window in a desperate attempt to make me stop crying?”
Ryan nodded and looked down at his linked fingers. “I understand that, and I support it, but what if you never have those answers?”
“Then I’ll deal with that, but I want to try.”
Ryan nodded again, turning his eyes away.
“So…” Bailey grimaced. “Are you going to help me?
“Yeah, you know I’ll do what I can.”
She exhaled in relief. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“Did you really think I’d say no?”
“You didn’t say yes just to spite Dex, did you?”
“I don’t make my decisions based on what Dex says.”
She lowered her eyes. “He refuses to help me.”
“I knew he didn’t like the idea, but I thought he’d give in.” Ryan sat there quietly for a few seconds, then let out a long exhale. “Bay—”
“Don’t, Ryan. I know you think I should break up with him, but he has a right to his opinion.”
“This isn’t a matter of opinion, Bailey. You support the people you love even when you don’t agree with them. You show up for the people you care about. You’d stand behind him if the roles were reversed.”
She nodded. “Of course I would.”
Ryan dropped his feet and stood. “Of course you would,” he said as he left the room.
Bailey made the last entry into the spreadsheet and closed Excel. “God, I hate when he’s right.” She heard Ryan’s chuckle mixed with footsteps on the hardwood floor as he walked toward the stage. “I hate you sometimes,” she shouted.
“I know. I love you, too, sweetheart.” A few seconds later, a booming guitar riff broke the quiet.
Bailey rolled her eyes. “He’s such a brat.”
CHAPTER SIX
Ryan set up the new talent at El Lago and left to help Bailey with the house. He had booked a new band, Kwikie. They were a hot ticket in Reno, but often the people in South Lake Tahoe were more fastidious than the tourists in Reno, especially when it came to their music.
After the warm-up, he waited until they were two songs in before he left. He was being over-cautious, but this was his club, his crowd, and he didn’t want to let anyone down.
When he arrived at Helen’s house, he found Bailey sitting in the music room, her gaze focused out the window and locked on the dark lake. Ryan went in, making a little noise this time to keep from scaring her again.
She didn’t turn around, and he thought he heard her sniffle. “I think this is the stillest I’ve ever seen you.”
Bailey nodded then chuckled. “This room looks fabulous. You did a great job. I couldn’t find anything to clean, so I decided to just sit here for a minute.”
“Do you want me to leave you alone?”
“No.” She stood and turned. “I’m going to finish the living room. Do you want to help me?”
“Yeah, unless you want me to work in another room.”
“No, I think it’ll be faster if we work together.”
Ryan nodded and pretended he didn’t notice her deep, whiskey-colored eyes were puffy. Bailey had her hair loose around her face, and as she pushed it behind her ears, he thought she looked tired. He didn’t know why she tried so hard to deal with this on her own. Her refusal to share her grief bothered him. He left it alone, though. If she needed to keep her pain private, he wouldn’t interfere.
Once downstairs, Ryan started with the piles of paperback books behind Helen’s favorite recliner. He didn’t want Bailey to come behind him and repack the boxes, so he tried to keep it as neat and orderly as possible to keep her happy.
After he stored the third box in the garage, he went back inside and found Bailey sitting in the desk chair, staring at a short letter. It looked creased and worn as if it’d been read many times. He leaned over her shoulder to read the words scribbled on the paper.
“Who’s that from?” he asked, making her jerk at the noise.
“Uh…it’s from my dad’s brother, Pat.”
She lifted the note for Ryan to read.
Dear Helen,
I know you blame me. You’ve made me the bad guy in this, but we—you and I—know the real truth, and so did Ernie. That is a fact you have to live with. You are just as guilty, and time will not erase that.
Refuse to speak with me if you want. Hang up on me when I call, burn my letters, but that will not protect you and Bailey from the disastrous outcome if you follow through with your threats. Do you know what they say about people in glass houses?
Yours truly,
Patrick
Ryan whistled. “That sounds like it has an interesting story behind it.”
“That’s weird. It’s dated two months ago.” Bailey flipped the paper over to look at the back. “My mom had a really distant relationship with the Mortons—especially after my dad died.”
“What do you think he’s talking about, her being guilty? What could she be guilty of?”
“I have no idea.” She huffed out a breath and looked around at the piles of paper. “I have no idea what any of it means.”
“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out,” Ryan said.
“God.” Bailey dropped her head on the desktop. “I feel so confused. My father was so close with his brother. Why would my mother stop speaking to him? What could she have threatened him with?”
Ryan rubbed a hand down her back. “I don’t know, but let’s keep looking. Maybe there’re more letters here somewhere.”
“Ha, yeah.” Bailey snorted and threw her hands up. “Unless she burned them.”
“Okay, I think it’s time for a break.” Ryan stood just as someone knocked on the front door. “Are you expecting someone?”
Bailey shook her head. “No, it’s probably your dad.”
Ryan opened the door and was surprised to see one of the busboys from El Lago. “Chris, hey. Is something wrong?”
“No. Here.” He handed Ryan a bag of takeout containers. “Lucas sent this over for you and Bailey.”
“Man, I knew he was a good person to keep around.” He pulled a ten-dollar bill from his wallet and handed it over. “Thanks for dropping it off. Here, put this in your gas tank and tell Lucas thanks.” When Chris turned away, Ryan closed the door. “Talk about perfect timing.”
“Lucas is just awesome,” Bailey said. “How thoughtful of him.”
“I think he’s trying to win you over with food,” Ryan said, taking out the food containers and napkins. “Isn’t that an old saying, get to a woman through her stomach?”
Bailey laughed. “You’re such a dork. It’s the other way around. With men it’s food, with women it’s diamonds. Maybe he’s trying to win you over.”
“Nah, I’m not his type.” Ryan smiled. “But he was sure drooling over you when you stepped into that kitchen on Saturday morning with that beautiful morning hair.”
“Shut up. I didn’t have a beanie handy like you did. And Lucas isn’t trying to impress me. He’s just a very considerate person. I’m pretty sure he’s got it bad for Mae.”
Ryan’s eyes drifted up to the ceiling as he thought about it. “You know…you might be on to something. He does seem a little starry-eyed around Mae these days.” He unwrapped a huge burrito and cut it in half, then put one half on a plate for Bailey and one half on a plate for himself.
Bailey inhaled with a low moan. “God, this smells so good.” She lowered herself to th
e floor, and Ryan dropped down across from her. She wasn’t kidding—the combination of chicken, grilled veggies, and hot sauce smelled incredible.
After a few bites, Ryan said, “So tell me more about the Mortons.”
“I don’t really know. We moved here from Wisconsin when I was four, and we didn’t go back to visit often.” Bailey finished chewing. “My Uncle Pat visited a lot. He was pretty close to my parents.”
Ryan swallowed a bite and downed some water to counter the heat in the burrito. “Wasn’t he at Helen’s funeral?”
“Yeah, I had dinner with him the night he left town. It was a good visit, but he didn’t mention anything out of the ordinary.”
“Did I meet him?”
“Yes, I’m sure I introduced you and your dad, but you’ve met him before.” Her eyes lifted to the ceiling as if trying to remember. “At my dad’s funeral. Oh, my God…”
Ryan furrowed his brow and stared at her for a moment. “Is he the guy your mom had that huge argument with?”
Bailey closed her eyes and sighed. “Yes…I completely forgot about that.”
“Do you remember what the fight was about?”
Bailey shook her head. “No, geez, that was years ago. I’m surprised you remember.”
“It’s hard to forget. We didn’t often hear shouts coming from your house. My parents were worried. My mom wanted to come over here and check on you and Helen, but my dad stopped her.”
“I don’t remember ever hearing my parents fight.”
“Obviously something happened between the three of them. What did you talk about during dinner with him?”
“Normal stuff. He asked a lot of questions about my life, trying to get to know me.”
“Nothing weird stands out?” Ryan asked.
“No. He asked about work, boyfriends, and a lot of questions about my friends. He asked about my relationship to you. I told him about El Lago, about Dex. He asked a ton of questions about Dex, too.”
“Do you have any photos of Pat?”
“Yeah, a bunch.” She rolled her eyes and gestured toward the garage. “They’re all dumped in a pile on the garage floor.”
“What do you think about taking a short trip? We could spend a few days in Wisconsin, visit your uncle and maybe talk to some of your parents’ old friends.”
“Really? You’d do that? Fly to Wisconsin with me?”
“Of course.” He lifted a shoulder in question. Why does she find that so hard to believe? “That seems like the most likely place to start our search since that’s where you were born.”
Her face lit up, and a smile spread across her cheeks. “Thank you, Ryan. I think that’s a great idea.”
He stared at her grin for a long time, glad her mood had lightened. “You know, I don’t think the police are going to do much about the break-in since nothing was stolen.”
“I know.” Bailey closed her eyes for a moment, her smile fading. He could have smacked himself for changing the subject and ruining her mood. “I just don’t get it.”
“Maybe someone was looking for the same thing we’re looking for?”
“But who, Ryan?”
“I don’t know. Why else would they dig through the trunk and the scrapbooks?”
“It just doesn’t make sense. Nobody knows anything about it besides our friends and your dad.” She shrugged, as if she didn’t buy the idea that someone might have an issue with her searching for her parents. “I guess I need to decide what to do with this place. I can’t leave it empty. It’s just a target for thieves right now.”
“Maybe you should turn it into a rental.”
Trying to finish her bite, she covered her mouth and mumbled, “Dex thinks I should sell it, but I’m not ready for that.”
“I wouldn’t sell it,” he said, watching her eyes as they scanned the furniture. Her expression was darker than usual, her shiny brown eyes turning a little dull, and he thought maybe it was a reaction to her current feelings.
“Maybe you’re right about renting. Maybe I should move in and get a roommate.”
“Really? Like who?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it before.”
“Would you be interested in renting to me?” His pulse jumped as he made the suggestion, but now that the words were out, he couldn’t take them back.
Bailey lifted a brow. “You want to move?”
“Yeah, it’s too much to live and work with Wade and Lucas. I need some distance.”
“You want to live in this big house by yourself?”
He lifted a hand palm up. “No. I thought I could be your roommate.”
“Oh, you’d be okay living with me?” she asked, surprised.
“Why wouldn’t I be? You’re certainly not going to be a messy roommate.”
She chuckled. “True, although I’m sure I’ll spend most of my time picking up after you.”
“So what do you think? Can I be your new roomie? I need to get out of that house.” Doubt instantly rushed his thoughts after he said it. Could he live with her? After years of reining in his feelings, could he keep them from interfering with their very platonic relationship if they were living in the same house?
“Can you handle it if I have someone sleep over?” she asked, as if reading his mind.
“Of course. Why would I be jealous?”
“Uh…I didn’t mean that.” She gave him a questioning look, and he felt like he was shrinking under her gaze. “I meant if Dex stays over. Why would I think you’d be jealous?”
Christ. He was starting to work up a sweat. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter, but if you want some time to think about it, or if you’re having second thoughts, I don’t want you to feel obligated.”
“No, I like the idea, but I hope it’s not so you can keep some deathbed promise to my mom.”
Ryan threw the burrito wrapper in the bag and wiped his hands on a napkin. “Actually, I want to be closer to Dad. He’s pretty lonely now that Helen’s gone.”
“Oh, right. I didn’t think of that.” She looked over at him. “Do you promise not to fight with Dex?”
“I promise to try.” He gave her an exaggerated grin. “Is that good enough?”
Bailey threw her wrapper and napkin into the bag as well and shrugged. “I guess.”
“Can I move in this weekend?”
“Yeah, sure. Which room do you want?”
“The guest room. I was thinking we should keep the music room the way it is so I could use it.”
Bailey’s expression softened, and he knew right away that she liked the idea. After a moment, she whispered, “Mom would love that.”
“So would I.” He stood and helped her get to her feet. “You know you can talk to me about her.”
“I know.”
Ryan’s heart dropped at the look on her face. He hated the lingering sadness that showed in her expression. “Then why don’t you?” he asked.
“I don’t want to make you feel worse. I know you miss her, too.”
Still holding her hand from helping her up off the floor, he pulled it to his chest and said, “I’m sure it’s nothing compared to how you feel.”
Bailey pulled her hand free. “This weekend’s fine, and you can have the guest room. We can take out that furniture and put it in the garage for now. You can have the music room, too. Everything in there is yours. I’ll take my old room and Mom’s room, but I’ll have to give thirty days notice on my apartment before I can move in so you’ll have the place to yourself until then.”
Ryan nodded. “That’s fine, Bay.”
“Split it fifty-fifty. There’s no mortgage, but we have to keep up on the property taxes, insurance, and utilities.”
“Just tell me how much.”
She slid back down into the desk chair and looked up at him. “Okay, I’ll crunch the numbers and let you know.”
“All right.” He gave her a curt nod and said, “It’s a deal.”
She mimicked his nod before tur
ning around to face the mess.
Ryan watched her from behind for a long moment, wishing he knew what to do to help her through the grieving process. She was keeping busy to avoid the grief—typical Bailey—but what happens when she runs out of things to do?
When his eyes scanned down her body, he wanted to slap himself. What was wrong with him? Why was he suddenly fantasizing about her? Lately, he’d grown an aching longing for his best friend that he couldn’t shake. He’d always had feelings for her, but he’d also always lied about those feelings. Bailey had no idea, thanks to his tight-fisted control over his heart.
That being said, now was not the time to loosen his grip. He needed to keep things on the level they were already on. Love and sex screwed up perfectly good relationships.
There it was, though. His eyes couldn’t help but drift up and down her body every time he saw her, and he couldn’t keep from staring into her eyes to judge her mood whenever she looked at him or focusing on her smile to see which one she was wearing on any particular day.
As he went back to cleaning, he wondered what she would say if she knew. Would she run away screaming, or would she laugh? He pictured her looking at him with a mocking smile, and his question was answered. One more reason he needed to keep his feelings to himself.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Ryan was already moving furniture out of the guest room when Bailey showed up at her mother’s house on Friday morning. She was exhausted after all the work they’d done throughout the week. Of course, it didn’t help that she’d spent hours on the phone with Dex. She’d told him about the letter and about Ryan’s idea to visit her uncle and the rest of the family in Wisconsin. Dex hated the idea. He begged her to give up the search, and when that didn’t work, he tried to demand she give it up. His worry was excessive, and she understood he didn’t want to see her get hurt, but she didn’t understand why he was so sure the search would end in pain.
Bailey didn’t let him deter her. She was moving forward. She needed to know the truth— the good, the bad, and the heartbreaking.
Ryan didn’t seem to mind that the rest of the house wasn’t in order yet, but Bailey couldn’t stand it. She spent every day in that house cleaning. When Ryan said he wanted to move in, she turned her focus from her mother’s writing desk to the guest room so it’d be ready for Ryan.