by Dana Mason
“I’m sorry, Linda. I’m not leaving. I have too many responsibilities to just pack up and leave when Alex demands it.” Her eyes traveled over to Nicole. “Besides, I won’t be with someone I can’t trust. It’s clear Nicole believes I purposely set out to hurt her when the opposite is true. I never intended to hurt anyone.”
“Fine, let’s go,” Alex said.
“Dad, come on. Don’t leave like this.” Stanley stood between Alex and the parking lot, trying to slow Alex’s progress as he walked away. “I think we need to stay and talk about this. All of it.”
“You have no idea what these people have put me through,” Alex said, pushing him aside to continue to the car.
Bailey thought about stopping them, running after him, and apologizing. If it was true, if her mother had done what they were accusing her of, Bailey didn’t think she would be able to forgive her either. The look on Alex’s face after reading that warrant would haunt her.
After standing stock-still for a couple of minutes, she rushed out the door, wanting to say goodbye again, but they were already gone. Her friends followed her out. When she turned to face them, they were all staring at her. It looked like they were waiting for something, an explosion or a breakdown, but Bailey was too numb. She didn’t have the energy for it.
“Thanks for being here.” She scanned their worried faces, then held her hands toward them. “You can breathe. I’m okay.”
They simultaneously dropped their shoulders and came at her, all talking to her at the same time.
“Bailey, I’m sorry…”
“Do you need a drink?”
“Are you ready to go home?”
“Have you eaten today?”
She rubbed her forehead. “Guys, I’m fine, really. I’m just tired. I need to go see what they’ve done to the house.”
They all nodded, still staring at her.
“Please, stop looking at me like that.” She pointed to Lucas and Wade. “Get back to the club.” Then she pointed to Mae. “Go home and get some rest. You’re way overdue for a day off.”
“We’re going with you,” Lucas said. “You might need help getting the house back in order.”
“Listen, I love you guys. Thank you for always being here for me.” Her voice wavered, so she took another deep breath. “I really am fine.”
“I’ll call you if she needs you,” Ryan said.
It took everything she had to keep from weeping as she hugged them each goodbye. Where would she be without them? How had she ever thought she could find a better family than the one she had right here in South Lake Tahoe?
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
They arrived at the house just in time to catch Sharpe. He was saying goodbye to Vince when Ryan and Bailey pulled up.
The expression on his face when he saw them was a mix of relief and regret. Bailey wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “Ms. Morton, how’s your father?”
“He’s fine, on his way back to Sacramento.” She waved her hand at the house. “Will you explain to me what this is about?”
“We issued the warrant on a suspicion that the Mortons knew more about your disappearance than they’d acknowledged to the Appleton police.” When Bailey started to object, he held his hand out. “Please, let me finish.”
She nodded, inhaling slowly. “I’m sorry. I know you’re only doing your job.” She took another deep breath, hoping to slow her racing heart.
“Patrick Morton was a student at UCLA at the same time as Theresa and Alex Spatz. Ernie and Helen Morton flew to LA to spend some time with Patrick and had planned to fly back with him when his quarter ended. That was the week before Theresa died. The day she was killed, Ernie and Helen rented a car and drove home instead of using the non-refundable return tickets.” He held up his finger to make his point. “They drove home a week early.”
“How the hell did you get their travel records?” Ryan asked. “It’s been over twenty-eight years. You can’t possibly prove—”
“We have what we need, Ryan.” He frowned. “I’m sorry.”
Bailey staggered for a moment, forcing Ryan to grab her from behind. “Bay, you okay? Do you want to sit down?”
She balanced herself and nodded. Her stomach was hosting an entire gymnastics team, and they were all tumbling at once. After steadying herself, she said, “What evidence? What have you removed from this house?”
“I can’t share that with you. It’s part of the investigation.”
Bailey and Ryan both threw their hands up at the same time. “Come on,” Ryan said, his temper flaring. “Hasn’t she been through enough? Jesus. Come on, man.”
Vince placed a calming hand on Ryan’s chest. “Don’t overreact here, Ryan.”
“Bullshit, Dad. She’s been through hell. He can’t walk away without giving us something.”
“Mr. Walker, I’m sorry, but I need to follow protocol.”
“Can’t you just tell us something?” Bailey asked. She stepped closer, her eyes focusing on his. “What did you find?”
Sharpe rubbed his hand over his forehead, contemplating. His eyes scanned the street, and Bailey knew he was looking for any lingering press. “A letter was mailed to me, anonymously. I don’t know who sent it, but it was written by your mother. She confessed to everything.”
“We read all her letters.” Bailey lowered her eyes, trying to remember all of Patrick’s letters. “My uncle wrote letters to her. We read them.”
“This one was written in her hand, signed by her.”
“I don’t understand. Helen sent you a letter?” Ryan asked.
“No. The letter was addressed to Bailey. It was sent to me without a return address. I don’t know where it came from.”
“You have a letter from my mother addressed to me?” Her mouth turned into a frown. She lifted her hand to cover it, willing herself not to cry.
Ryan clenched her other hand. “We haven’t found any letters written by Helen, and certainly none addressed to Bailey.”
“I want to see it. If it was addressed to me, then you have to let me see it.”
“Actually, I don’t.” He jingled his keys in his hand, anxious to leave. “It’s evidence of a horrific crime—”
Bailey wanted to punch him. “Against me!” she shouted. “I’m the only victim here. Surely you can—”
“Theresa Spatz was a victim, too.”
Bailey’s eyes lowered, her entire body now heavy from the stress. “You’re right. So was Alex, but I refuse to believe my parents are guilty of anything other than being there for me when I needed them.”
“Agent Sharpe, can’t you tell us what the letter says?” Ryan asked. “It would ease Bailey if she had an idea. We don’t expect you to give it to us. Just recite the contents.”
“That couldn’t hurt, right?” Vince asked.
“I’m sorry, but the contents won’t make her feel better. I promise you, it’s not something that’ll bring relief.”
“I don’t want relief. I just want some answers. I can’t continue a relationship with Alex Spatz until I know everything,” Bailey said, her eyes narrowing on him. “That letter contains my mother’s dying words to me, and you won’t share them with me? H-how could you?” She nearly lost her breath on the last few words.
Sharpe jiggled his keys again, this time staring at them. Then he snapped his phone from the belt clip he wore. “This can get me in a lot of trouble.”
“I won’t tell a soul. I promise,” Bailey whispered.
Sharpe unlocked his phone and flipped through before turning it toward Bailey and handing it to her. On the screen was a photo of the letter. “It’s in our evidence locker, but I took a picture before we processed it.
Bailey spread her fingers on the screen to zoom in on the words, allowing her and Ryan to read it at the same time.
Dear Bailey,
I’m sure by now you have figured out the truth about your parentage. If you haven’t, I promise you will know everything by the end of this letter. Please do
n’t go public with this information. Do what you must to reunite with your biological family, but try to avoid sharing this information outside of your immediate friends.
I wanted to tell you, and I had planned to tell you before it was too late, but I worried for your safety. Someone, I’m not sure who, has been threatening me for months. If it were just me who was threatened, I would have gone through with my plan, but I wouldn’t risk you for anything in the world. And it was you they threatened to harm. Unfortunately, I don’t have more information about who has done this or why. I can’t even guess at how they’ve found this information out, but they have, and they don’t want the world or you to know. Please be careful. Destroy this letter when you’re finished reading it.
I hope one day you can forgive me for what I’ve done and for lying to you. I also hope one day you understand this more fully when you have your own children. I believe, when you do, you’ll realize why I did what I did. I wasn’t blessed with the gift of a child of my own. I hope knowing this makes it easier for you to forgive me one day, or at least understand.
I would have done anything for you, and I did.
The accident was just that, an accident. If I could, I would turn back the clock to save that woman’s life, but it wasn’t in my power. I never wanted anyone to get hurt. I saw an opportunity, and in my desperation to protect you and Ernie, I took advantage. I know in some eyes that would make me a monster, but I hope you know me well enough to understand I am not because your opinion is the only one that matters to me.
The air stuck in Bailey’s lungs, and she fought to take a deep breath. Her eyes burned with tears, and Agent Sharpe’s phone shook in her hands. “I can’t believe this.”
“Take a deep breath, Bay.”
Tears spilled from her eyes, but she didn’t stop. “I’m fine. I want to finish it.”
We were in the car that took Theresa Spatz’s life. I’m sorry to say it’s true. Ernie was confused and lost, and it was dark. He didn’t see her until it was too late. Unfortunately, Theresa Spatz was killed when the car hit her. I am so sorry for her death, but I am thankful you were not injured in the accident. It was a miracle, and in my eyes, you were my gift from God.
How on earth such a tiny creature could survive such a tragic event is beyond me, but then again, you have always been a sparrow. I knew taking you was wrong. I knew I was depriving a family of their child and depriving you of the family you were born into. But, as I’ve already admitted, I was selfish in my decision. I convinced Ernie and Patrick that taking you from the accident scene was the right thing to do. I promised we’d take you to the police. In the end, we didn’t because I refused. Once I had you in my arms, I was never going to let you go.
Sweetheart, I made an effort to become familiar with the Spatz family. I researched them and followed the best I could from a distance. It served a dual purpose. First, it was a form of punishment for myself. Witnessing Alex Spatz’s suffering has kept me humble and repentant. Even with my joy at being your mother, I have never gotten over the events of that night, and neither did Ernie. Second, it reminded me of what a blessing you were and that I should never take that blessing for granted.
I fully support you having a relationship with your family. Not only do I support it, I encourage it. I hope they can revel in the beautiful grandchildren you are sure to bless them with, and I hope one day that makes up, in some small way, for my selfishness. They are good people, and they deserve to have you in their lives. Please don’t let your relationship with me interfere with the relationship you might have with them.
My dear Bailey, please do not attempt to protect me. I don’t care if I’m labeled a heartless criminal. I’ve had a wonderful and full life thanks to you. I don’t care what people think of me. You know I never have. You are a victim, Bailey. Theresa Spatz was a victim, and Alexander Spatz is a victim of my crimes. I will not pretend ignorance where you are all concerned. I made the decisions fully aware of the consequence. I won’t pretend otherwise, and, quite frankly, I am sorry Mrs. Spatz lost her life, but I am not sorry for having had the last twenty-seven years with you. The heart wants what it wants. You were what my heart wanted, and I am not sorry for that. Finding you, Bailey, made my life full.
I have enclosed the information you need to contact your biological family. I’m sorry. I’m sure this is a shock to you, and I’m also sure you’re pretty upset with me. I understand, and I want you to know it’s okay. You can love your parents and hate them at the same time. That’s the beauty of true love and true passion.
Before I close this letter, I want to ask you to remember something. Home is where the heart is. It’s not in four walls. It’s not in a place or even a state of mind. It’s where you love, and where you hurt, and where you feel the most. Love and family do not reside in DNA and blood. It resides in sweat and tears. Never once in the last twenty-seven years did I look at you and not consider you mine.
Bailey, in all matters of life, follow your heart. Do what makes you happy and never question those decisions. Live fully, laugh heartily, and sing as if no one is listening.
I love you with all my heart.
Always your mother,
Helen
She shook, her entire body vibrating uncontrollably. Her chest heaved, and she could do nothing to stop the sobbing once it started.
Ryan put his arms around her. He was crying, too. She could feel his chest moving rapidly up and down.
Everything after that was a blur. She didn’t know how she got inside the house, or how she made it up the stairs and into the bedroom she shared with Ryan. She found herself staring into her bedroom mirror with a swollen face and aching body, sore from crying.
The FBI left the room a complete mess, much like her life. She had no idea how to move on from here. She had no idea how to mend fences with Alex. As much as she wanted a relationship with him, she would not live her life to please him.
Her mother was right on one point. Her true family resided right here. Blood didn’t always mean family. It was all in her heart. These wonderful friends of hers had proven that time and time again.
The snow globe her mother had given her caught her attention. There it was, mocking her, laughing at her and her stupidity. Next to it sat the framed photo of Theresa Spatz that Alex had given her. How could her mother do this her, to all of them…to innocent people? How selfish and deceitful.
She picked up the snow globe and held its weight in her hand. It suddenly felt much heavier than it ever had before.
“Ryan.” She lifted her eyes to his. “Will you drive me to Sacramento later this week?”
He sat on the bed, staring up at her. “Yes, whatever you need.”
“I want to talk to Alex…apologize. After all, he was right. She did this.”
“Bailey—”
“No.” She bounced the snow globe in her hand, gripping it tightly on the last bounce. “Don’t defend her tonight…not now.”
Her eyes locked on the globe and the two sparrows inside huddled close together in the snow. Looking at it now, she knew the sparrows inside represented her. She was not one person and had never been one person. She was first little Marianne Spatz, who had been stolen from her family as an infant and who had spent her life missing…missing from what should have been her true home and her true family.
The second sparrow, that sparrow represented Bailey Morton, who had been raised to believe a lie. She’d lived a sideways life, with people who should have been strangers, but had formed a makeshift family.
Would she forever be balancing these two lives? A victim of the lies that were told? She inhaled heavily. Would she ever be one person again, accepted by everyone and loved for exactly who she was and not for who she was meant to be?
Something clenched in her chest. A scream escaped her gritted teeth as she threw the snow globe with all her might. When it hit the wall, it shattered, and glass flew everywhere. Water and white glitter sprayed out and flowed down the wall. Bailey’s
chest clenched tighter, her breath coming in pants as she sobbed.
“Bailey…babe.” Ryan grabbed her before her knees gave out. He picked her up like a small child and held her against him. “Take a deep breath, baby. You’re scaring me.” He brushed the hair off her face and wiped away some of the tears.
When her body went limp from exhaustion, her sobbing finally subsided. She stopped focusing on anything but the warmth of Ryan’s chest against her face. He shifted and sat her down, then helped her get undressed. When she was down to her panties, he turned the bed down and helped her get it.
Within minutes, he was next to her, arms around her and pulling her closer. She sank into him and let the warmth put her to sleep.
* * *
Never in all the years he’d known Bailey had he seen her like this. It scared him and hurt him all the same. As much as he missed Helen, he’d happily kick her ass right now for doing this to Bailey. He understood her longing to be a parent, but he couldn’t excuse the selfishness of it all. And the secrets were all for naught. Bailey was left in a dangerous position anyway, only not because of what she knew, but because of what she didn’t know. If Patrick and Helen had been honest about the threat, he and Bailey could have taken action, could have been prepared for the danger that lurked. Instead, Bailey was left defenseless. An open target for William Dexter and his crony.
But Ryan also couldn’t ignore the fact that if Helen hadn’t done what she’d done all those years ago, he might not have Bailey in his life right now. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent again. All the heartache he felt was nothing compared to what Bailey was going through. He needed to remember that and do what he could to make things easier on her, because, just like Helen, Bailey was what his heart wanted.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
It had been several days since Bailey’s family had fled South Lake Tahoe, and she wasn’t sure what her next step should be. Stanley had texted her to apologize and to let her know they’d made it home safely, but she hadn’t heard anything else. Should she call them? Should she visit them? Or wait it out and make them come to her? She rested her head in her hands, wishing she had stayed in bed.