by Wood, Lauren
This morning, I was sitting at my desk when I heard the door open. I was sure that it was Colin, and I looked at my watch. It had only taken him a few minutes to find me up here. I was going to have to start a new tactic tomorrow.
“Colin, I’m not really in the mood to talk about this right now. I have a lot of work to do.”
“I'm not Colin, Jaime.”
My head snapped up so fast, it actually felt like I had whiplash for a moment. What in the world was she doing here? Anika is the woman that I just can't seem to shake. No matter how much I try, she just keeps popping up and her name just keeps coming out of everyone's mouth. I just wanted her to go away.
“What are you doing here, Anika?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“About our daughter. I haven't seen her in a while, and I figured it was time.”
I scoffed before I could stop myself. It had been months and her daughter had been dying to see her, but she never showed up. Now all of a sudden, she was coming out of the blue and asking about Marjorie? It didn't make any sense to me and because it didn’t, I knew that there was another reason that she was here. I just didn’t know what it was.
“I don't have anything to say about it. You know that Marjorie really wants to see you. You're her mother, but I can’t even tell her when you’re coming, because you just flake on it.”
“Flake? I have been very busy. It’s not my fault I have a life.”
“Yes, you do. I guess I could show her some of the front pages that you've been making recently. I don't think they would be the best thing for her, but at least she would know what you mean when you say you’re too ‘busy’. I don't know what you have become Anika, but I know there's no way that you're dragging our daughter into your life.”
“My life? It wasn't that long ago that you were in the same life.”
This was the same argument that we had rehashed many times before. She would never see what she was doing to Marjorie and to be honest, I don't think she cared.
“I was in that life many years ago when I was younger. Then we had a baby and we had to change. It was for Marjorie, but you never changed. You just kept right on partying and having a good time, no matter what. There is no way that I want our daughter in the middle of that.”
“I've just been having a little bit of fun. You know how the news people are. They’re just trying to get that money shot.”
“Yes, I had the same lessons that you did about it. And I learned that you never let them get the money shot, but you’ve been letting them over and over again. You just look trashy, Anika.”
That seemed to set her off. She got that evil look in her eyes that I had seen so many times before. We had been married after all and I knew that I’d possibly gone too far. To call Anika trashy was as bad as calling her every name in the book and then some. It might even be unforgiveable in her eyes.
“I'm trashy?”
“I didn't say you were trashy per se. I'm just saying that you're not putting your best foot forward in front of the cameras lately, and I worry about how it will all effect our daughter. That's all.”
I was back-pedaling because I didn’t want the impending argument that was sure to follow. I hated fighting her. I wasn’t very good at arguing, but Anika was the best.
“I will admit that they have gotten a bit more information on me than I would like. So, we're not here to talk about that. I'm here so that I can see my daughter.”
“You can come over anytime and see her. You know that.”
“Did you stop to think that maybe I don't want to see you?”
I almost spit out that the feeling was mutual, but I knew that that would not do much in the way of making this experience any better. Fighting with Anika was like banging my head against the wall. It really did no good and I didn't want to waste my time with it.
“That is all fine, if you feel that way. I can bring somebody else to supervise. Or I can leave and you could be here. But you're not taking her out with you anywhere. I don't know what kind of people you're around, and Marjorie doesn't need to be exposed to that sort of thing. She's far too young.”
“And what about who you've had her around?”
“What do you mean?”
“I am talking about the bimbo at the charity event the other night. What was her name, Angie?”
I instantly tightened up inside. The last thing I needed was my ex even knowing that Angie existed. Angie was not ready to go up against someone like Anika. Anika was ruthless and Angie didn't deserve it, not on my account.
“She is not a bimbo Anika. You don't have to talk about her like that.”
“So, you're defending her now?”
“Against you, yes.”
“So, this Angie, you two are together?”
“I wouldn't say that.”
She got a smile on her face.
“Well, I think that you need to keep my daughter away from people that may or may not be your girlfriend. If you get to have a say in who our daughter is around, then why don’t I?”
“Because you're not a mother, Anika. You're only doing this because you want to get your way. It's not like you actually care about our daughter. If you did, you would've been around a lot sooner than when I got a girlfriend.”
“So, you admit that you’re together?”
“Yes. I'll admit it. We're together.”
“I wonder how your family feels about that.”
Now that really peeved me off. Why in the world was she talking about my family?
“My family is fine with it. She comes from better family with far more money, Anika. You have wasted most of your trust fund. That's what my family is worried about, by the way. They want you to buy into the stocks and make them all richer.”
Her eyes got a little narrower when she looked at me.
“Who is she?”
“Nothing to concern yourself with. If you want to come see your daughter, we’re having a birthday party for her. She's about to be eight, if you remember or not. Her birthday is tomorrow. You did not even mention that.”
I couldn't even have the good grace to look guilty. She just looked away and then shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. I knew that she had forgotten and that it would hurt her that she had, if there was even any heart in there to begin with.
“I'm sure I would have remembered tomorrow. I have a lot going on, you know.”
I bit my tongue again. I had done it so many times through this conversation, that I could taste copper in my mouth. I don't know if it was imagined or not, but it certainly didn't feel that way.
“Well the party is tonight at the house. Come there, don't come. I'm not going to tell her that you're going to be there because I don't want to get her hopes up.”
My uncle Colin came in and the two of them talked for a moment and instead of asking them to leave, I just excused myself. This was a set-up, plain and simple, and I wanted to stay as far away from it as possible.
20
Anika
“How did it go?”
“Well, he just left us in his own office, so how do you think it went?”
“You used to have a lot more charm to you, Anika. Maybe you need to work on that?”
I gave Colin a dirty look. He had been the one that suggested that I go to Jaime. Obviously, Jaime was not going to come to me like the family wanted. He was pushing against their control and that was not good news for me. I knew that I messed up with Jaime, but I was ready to fix it. All they had to do was let me.
“It is this Angie. He said that you guys are happy they’re together.”
“She comes from good family, sure, but she's also the rebel in her life. She has pushed back against the riches of her family and gone her own way. We don't need that kind of independent thinking when it comes to Jaime.”
“What are we going to do?”
“I was hoping that you would have an answer to that one, Anika. You're the one that was
married to him for all those years.”
I sighed and kind of shrugged my shoulders. “I would not say that being married was a positive in the situation. We had a pretty rough marriage. I was young and I made a lot of mistakes.”
“You weren't that young, Anika. Fix this, because I don't know if I'm going to be able to this time.”
“Well, I was invited to my daughter's birthday party. I guess I will have to show up and show Jaime what he should already know. We were always meant to be together.”
The birthday party was quite an affair and the place was packed with at least twenty-five to thirty-five cars parked all along the driveway and two deep in the yard. I had to park quite a ways away, which gave me time to think and fixate on the plan.
I wasn't even sure what the plan was going to be. At the moment, my whole plan was to find Jaime and basically seduce him. I was wearing the tight red dress that was short enough to barely cover what was needed. Jaime had always loved me in red, so I hoped that would be enough. It would be enough for any other man that I had my eye on. I saw it playing out rather easily in my mind.
When I got inside, they were just cutting the cake and I smiled at my daughter. She wasn't looking at me, but she had the sweetest look on her face. Then I saw Angie come into view. Immediately anger rose up inside of me. This was the woman that was ruining everything, and she was the one that I had to get out of the way.
My daughter hugged the other woman and a little part of me died. I knew then that I had to get this woman as far away from my family as possible. Whether I was divorced or not, Jaime was always going to be mine. I was not going to let some woman come in between me and my husband. I certainly wasn't going to let her become a mother to my own daughter. That was just too much for anyone to bear.
I started to walk towards the gathering, and I was stopped in my path, when Jaime walked up beside me. Then he was standing in my way.
“Anika, I didn't think you would actually show up.”
“It's my daughter’s birthday. Of course, I would show up. Her mother is needed.”
He looked nervous and I hated to see that disgusting look on such a handsome face. I knew that he was doing wrong and the idea that he could hide it from me, just made it all the worse. It was like he did not know that I knew, but I did.
“I see that your bimbo is here.”
“I've told you before, that Angie is not that way.”
“No, but she is at my daughter's birthday party and you didn't expect me to show up. You want me to go talk to her, you know meet the replacement?”
“No, I don't.”
“Then come with me. I think you and I have a lot to talk about.”
I knew that Jaime did not want to speak to me. He had made that much clear time and time again, in the last few months. Our last meeting had not been what I expected. Usually I could use my wiles to get my way. Now, it just didn’t seem to be enough.
I caught Angie’s eye and smiled at her, before I pulled Jaime off into the other room. I knew that was all that was needed. It would not be but a few moments before Angie followed us in there and I was going to make sure that she had a good show to watch.
“I don't think it's necessary for us to go anywhere else.”
“Nonsense, the best way to deal with this, is to just talk about it and get through it.”
“That would make sense Anika, but you never make sense. You never want to take the easy way, so what are you up to?”
I had to smile for a moment. Jaime really did know me all too well. To me, that just proved the point that we were meant to be together. It made it as clear as day.
“I don't want you with someone else. I want us to be together.”
His face dropped and he just kind of shook his head.
“Do we really have to go over this again?”
“Just one more time.”
I moved closer to him and put my hand on his shoulder. It was an action that I had done a million times before, encircling his neck with my arms. Pulling him down for a kiss. Feeling his soft lips on mine. Of all the posing and things that I have said, I really did miss Jaime in the most basic of ways. He had always been the one to know my body the best and I rubbed myself against him. For a moment, I forgot that I was doing this for show. I fell into it a bit too hard, which made me come back up a little rattled.
I heard someone gasp next to us and then I heard Angie say Jaime's name. There was pain in the tone, and I was pushed away. Jaime had been caught red-handed and I didn't even turn around because I didn't suspect that I could look at Angie without smiling. She popped up into my life to ruin it, so I just wanted to let her know that she wasn't the only one that could play that way. This was my family, my daughter, my husband.
“Well, I am going to go wish my daughter a happy birthday.”
They were just staring at each other and I knew as soon as I left the room, Jaime was going to try and reason why his mouth was on mine and his tongue was down my throat. I giggled a little bit, because I knew there was no way he was going to be able to wing it. The cliché of, ‘it’s not what you think’ actually applied this time, but Angie would never go for it. And that was the point.
21
Angie
When I saw her pull Jaime towards the other room, there was something that told me to follow. Maybe it was the fact that it was his ex-wife, or maybe it was just the way she looked at me. She had this happier than she should be look on her face, and now I knew why.
“How could you do this to me?”
“Do this to you? I didn't do anything. She dragged me into the other room and kissed me. That's it. That wasn't some kind of big romantic plan or anything. She kissed me and probably knew this was going to happen. Anika is like that. I told you that she was a mess.”
“Oh, I am sure she is. What did she do, twist your arm?”
I was being rather sarcastic at this point. Of all the excuses that I thought would come out of Jaime's mouth, I could not imagine that it would have been something like this. How could he even say that to me with a straight face?
“So, you don't believe me?”
“No, would you believe me? If you would have walked in and seen what I did, do you really think that you would believe what I said?”
“No, maybe I wouldn't. I don't really know. All I know is, she saw you talking to Marjorie and she kind of flipped out. I said some things to her the other day, I probably pissed her off.”
“Usually women don't kiss men when they're pissed off at them.”
He was lying. All I could see was what was right in front of me and what was right in front of me, was the fact that I had just caught them sucking each other’s faces. I don't even know what I was doing here, and I told him so.
“I think I'm going to leave, Jaime. This is your mess and I'll tell you what, it's just too complicated. I don't want to be involved with it.”
Jaime tried to reason with me, but there was no point. There was no way that I was going to be okay with this. How could I be?
“So, you're not planning on going over to the job at all?”
“No actually, it's almost over and I trust that they will finish it for me as per instructions.”
Ashley looked confused and I knew that she was going to start in on a whole thing.
“You never do that. I mean never. I don't think that you have ever not been at the job when it was finished. You don't want to do your walk-through then? You know, to make sure that everything is perfect like you always do?”
“Do I really seem that manic?”
“Yes, yes you do, Angie. You know that you like things done a certain way and I'm trying to figure out why everything is different now. What happened?”
“Nothing. I was just reminded that relationships really are a waste of time.”
“Is it about Jaime?”
I was this close to telling her that Jaime was not allowed to be said in my presence anymore, but I don't want to give him that sort of power ove
r me.
“Let's just say, that I learned my lesson. It was nice to have a little dalliance one more time, but that's all it was. It was fun while it lasted.”
“I thought it was a lot more than that?”
I smiled at her for a moment and sighed. I had thought the same thing as well. It would appear that we were both wrong.
“Well, things change.”
I hated the pitiful look that she got on her face. Obviously, she could see the pain in my eyes, and I didn't want her to see it. I didn't want anyone to see it, because I didn't want to admit that it was there. I was devastated. That's the only way that I could describe it. I couldn't believe that he could do such a thing to me and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing at all. All I could do now, was to try to once again, put Jaime out of my mind.
“I'm sorry, Angie. You deserve so much better than that. I don't know what it is, but you have some of the worst luck in men.”
I had to agree with her. It seemed like every time I turned around, I was in a situation that I shouldn't be in. This time was worse though. This time there was love…
I stopped. Did I just think of love?
Love... No matter what it was that I felt, the truth was, that it was a wasted feeling. Jaime obviously did not feel the same way. I would not have found him kissing his ex if he was. There was no way that I could kiss someone else. There was no one else for me but Jaime. It had scared me to realize that it wasn't the same for him.
It's all water under the bridge now though. That is why I don't mess with relationships. It just seems to be a waste of time really.
She had that pity look on her face and I had to grit my teeth not to say anything. I really hated the feeling that she felt sorry for me. I didn't want anybody to feel sorry for me. I made a mistake, true enough, but it wasn't something that was forever. I could pull myself out of this.
“If you ever want to talk about it...”