He laughed. “Sorry to disappoint. I am still a B student.” His expression shifted a bit. “But...maybe not for long.” He leaned forward as if letting me in on a secret. “There may be some truth to that one.”
I arched my brows. “You’re thinking of quitting?”
He wrinkled his nose in a rueful wince that was ridiculously adorable coming from this big burly-looking guy. “More like, I might have to drop out and go somewhere cheaper once I tell my dad I’m not going to be a business major.”
“Ah.” I shifted again, trying to find a comfortable way to feed the baby standing up but then Cristian stepped in and took over.
Turned out Cristian was oddly good with fake babies.
“Ever since my dad left my mom he’s used his money to control me and Alex. Well…” He seemed to consider. “He uses it to control Alex. He tries to control me.”
“The car,” I said, remembering what he’d told me the night before.
“That’s just one of many examples,” he said. “Alex bought into it all hook, line, and sinker, but I’d always fought back. But when it came to school…” His smile was self-deprecating. “It was one thing to reject his presents, but neither me nor my mom could afford college without his help, so…”
“So he’s paying for school,” I finished.
His expression turned bitter and hard. He morphed into a totally different person right in front of my eyes, and this new guy...it was easy to see where the rumors stemmed from. His features looked harsh when he frowned, his eyes grim. “But of course my dad had to have stipulations. Conditions…” He added that last part like a curse word. “The biggest one being that I had to major in business with the idea that I’d follow in his footsteps at his company.”
His head tipped down and he scowled at Buttercup. “I tried to make it work, but...it’s just not me.”
“So what are you going to do?”
He sighed. “I promised my mom I’d try to make him see reason, but I doubt it’ll do any good. The man doesn’t do anything out of the goodness of his heart. He doesn’t care if I’m miserable studying what he loves, he only cares that he’s pulling the strings.”
I studied him for a while. I should keep quiet. I should. I didn’t know the first thing about his family, other than what I knew by watching Alex for these last three years.
But I knew a thing or two about parents…
I looked down at the baby. Not that I was ready to be one. Heck no. I was rethinking ever having children thanks to little Buttercup.
But more than anything, I hated this look on Cristian’s face right now. I didn’t like this bitterness, the hardness, the anger that seemed so at odds with the Cristian I was getting to know.
Maybe it was that—or maybe it was just the fact that I was a hopeless optimist, as Max liked to point out—but I found myself playing devil’s advocate. “Maybe it’s just his way of showing he cares.”
His brows shot up like I’d just suggested his father was a werewolf or something.
“I mean it,” I said with a shrug. “Everyone has different ways of showing they care, right?”
“No offense, Avery,” he said gently. “But you don’t know my family.”
“No. You’re right,” I said. “I don’t.” I bit my lip to keep from saying more. Not my business. This is so not my business, it really isn’t—
“I heard Alex, though,” I said suddenly. “Outside earlier, I mean. Sounds like he thinks that you’re always competing with him and—”
“He’s the one competing with me,” he snapped.
I blinked a few times at the harshness in his voice. I knew it wasn’t directed at me, but still...this side of him was a totally new sight.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he asks you out tomorrow at school,” he muttered. “That’s totally what Alex would do.”
I swallowed thickly because his words hit the nerve called my three-year unrequited crush on Alex. “You think that’s the only reason he’d be interested in me? To make you mad?”
I didn’t care. I mean...I didn’t care as much as I should that Alex wasn’t into me. What hurt much more was the fact that Cristian thought Alex would only ever want me as some kind of trophy in whatever this was between them.
Cristian’s gaze met mine evenly. “Avery, that’s...not what I meant.”
I shifted, crossing my arms. “Okay, then, what did you mean?”
He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Look, my family isn’t like yours, alright?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
He gave me this rueful little shake of his head. “You’re just so...sweet, Avery.”
I wrinkled my nose because he made it sound terrible. LIke an insult or something. Also...he’d just accused me of not knowing anything about his family, but had the nerve to presume he knew mine?
“You have this optimism about you,” he said. He gestured toward me with the hand that wasn’t holding Buttercup. “I’d bet money that you believe in true love and happily ever afters.”
I frowned at him. I’d been through this same conversation enough times with Max that there was no way I was justifying myself again. “So?”
He tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling. “So,” he said softly. “My guess is your family life is just a little different than mine.”
“Now who’s making assumptions,” I snapped.
Here was the thing. I rarely did anger. Sadness, sure, on occasion. Frustration, sometimes. But in less than forty-eight hours this guy was witness to two out of only a handful of fits of temper in my lifetime.
The first had been because of Alex, but this…? This was all on him. I planted my hands on my hips. “My parents split when I was in junior high.”
His mouth opened like he was going to say something but I didn’t let him.
“It was ugly. Capital-U ugly,” I said. “Like, my parents sent me to live with my grandparents for the summer before freshman year because the fighting had gotten so bad. I haven’t talked to my father in nearly a year. Or…” I gave a humorless laugh. “Actually, he hasn’t spoken to me. He said it’s too hard...whatever that means.”
I sounded bitter now, too, and I knew it.
Cristian was gaping at me like I’d just grown a second head.
“I-I’m sorry,” he said.
I shrugged. “Yeah, well. We all have our crap, right?” I didn’t wait for him to answer. “But just because our parents are going through stuff doesn’t mean we have to take on their baggage.”
“It’s not that simple,” he said.
“No, I’m sure it’s not,” I said. “But if you don’t at least try to understand where your dad is coming from, if you don’t at least attempt to see what Alex is feeling—”
“Is that what this is about?” His eyes roamed over me. “Is this about Alex? You’re defending him right now?”
My lips parted because...seriously? That’s what he got out of this conversation? “I’m not defending anyone, just trying to say that relationships take work...on both sides. If things are bad between you and your dad or you and Alex—”
“Look,” he interrupted. “You don’t know Alex. Not like you think.”
“Maybe not, but he’s not a total stranger to me either. I’ve liked him for years. I’ve had a crush on him since freshman year. I’ve seen him—”
“You had a crush or you have a crush?” Cristian’s curt question cut me off mid-sentence.
“What?” But I’d heard him. My mouth went dry because I’d heard him and I had no idea how to answer.
“This isn't about that,” I said. “My point was—”
“That’s all this is about,” he said. “You and I might have different views on how to deal with family, but none of that means anything if you’re still hung up on my spoiled, entitled little brother.”
His voice was as harsh as I’d ever heard it and it took me a full second to gather my wits enough to respond. But before I c
ould, he was reaching for his jacket and setting Buttercup to the side. “You know what, forget it. If you want Alex, then don’t let me stand in your way.”
And then he was gone.
Out the door before I could stop him.
10
Cristian
Two days later I was still kicking myself. Hating myself, actually.
The best thing to happen to me in years and I’d ruined it by lashing out like a child.
I should have been celebrating as I packed my belongings back into a duffel bag so I could head back to school early.
I was going back, and I was dropping business as a major. I’d be an English Lit major starting next semester and...I owed it all to Avery.
I held my breath as a fresh wave of guilt washed over me at the way I’d walked out on Avery the other day. But, at the same time, what was the point of sticking around?
She’d told me herself she’d been in love with my brother for years. Alex and I had enough issues without letting a girl come between us.
She’s not just any girl…
She wasn’t. I’d never had such a crazy instant connection with anyone, and I’d certainly never had anyone talk to me like that. At once sympathetic but also...fierce. Avery wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. And while her upbeat attitude was naive and adorable, it was also kind of...brave.
Refreshing.
It was a different perspective that I wasn’t used to, not even from my mom who was always doling out the pep talks.
But Avery hadn’t been giving a pep talk, she’d just given her perspective. And her perspective was just like her—all sweetness and light.
I’d gone into the big ‘talk’ with my dad with her voice in my head and for the first time in a long time, I made it through a conversation with my father without a power struggle. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I told him I knew he wanted to be involved in my life because he cared but that if he really wanted to be in my life he needed to respect my decisions.
Those words had not been easy to get out but, to my amazement, my dad’s eyes had filled up with tears and what followed was one of the most awkward, stilted, emotional conversations I’d ever had.
Turned out Avery had been right. Maybe Alex had, too, although I wasn’t about to admit that to him anytime soon.
Besides, I wasn’t about to say that my father hadn’t made mistakes. He’d made a ton. But I hadn’t realized how much he’d been hurting until he’d started tearing up on me.
That had definitely been a first. And the talk that followed had been...unpleasant. Emotional and awkward and painful...but necessary.
Our relationship was still far from perfect but for the first time since my parents’ divorce, I saw a glimmer of hope that we might one day be able to have a civil conversation.
It was a start.
And I owed it all to Avery.
I should thank her. I would if I thought she’d be happy to see me. But as it was, I was a complication in her life. An unwanted burden, which was a role I knew well.
“You leaving?” Alex’s voice in my doorway had me straightening again, two books in my hand ready to be shoved into my bag.
“Yeah. Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your way in no time.” My school was less than two hours away, but it might as well have been in another country for the amount I visited him here at my dad’s place.
But there was no reason to stay here longer.
I waited for Alex to move on down the hall to his own room but he leaned against my door frame. “I see you and Dad didn’t kill each other.”
His voice was mild but I knew this was his way of prying. He’d never come outright and admit that he was curious about what went down between me and our father.
Just like he’d never come right out and admit that he liked Avery, assuming he did.
How could he not?
But that was the thing about brothers. He drove me nuts but I got him. I understood. If I’d ever doubted that he was just as messed up from our toxic family situation, his words on Avery’s lawn the other day had confirmed it.
But it wasn’t like I didn’t know he had his issues. Once upon a time we’d been close. And back then Alex had felt deeply.
Then the crap hit the fan and Alex had changed.
We both had.
I may not have handled things as well as I should have, but Alex had just...stopped caring. He went from this sweet, thoughtful, sensitive kid to a shallow, skin-deep jerk overnight.
But I wasn’t fooled.
He still cared. Maybe too much if he felt the need to hide it like he did. And what he needed was someone who cared about him. Someone who could crack that pretty-boy shell he’d put in place.
I rubbed a hand over my eyes in weary frustration. Who better than Avery? Maybe she was exactly what he needed. All the more reason for me to go…
“So?” Alex prodded. “You flunking out or what?”
I gave my head a little shake and a huff of amusement escaped. What a little turd. “Sorry to disappoint you, but no. Not flunking out. In fact…” I shot him a sidelong look, not even sure why I was telling him my good news which he’d probably just mock me about. “He’s going to let me switch majors.”
His brows shot up. “Seriously? That’s awesome.”
Silence fell thick and heavy in my bedroom because...he actually sounded like he meant it. “Yeah, well…” I cleared my throat. “Look, I’m sorry about the other day.”
He cleared his throat too and looked down the hallway like there was something interesting going on down by the landing. “Yeah. Me too.”
He kind of muttered it under his breath but I caught it and my shoulders sank as a tension I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding onto seeped out of me. “I’m tired of this ongoing battle,” I said, focusing my gaze on the books in my hand. “I’ll head back to school and I’ll stay out of your way because...I don’t want us to compete. I don’t want to fight. Maybe one day we can even...I don’t know…” I shrugged as I searched for the right words. “Maybe we can be on the same side one day.”
He was quiet for so long I thought maybe he’d walked away but eventually he spoke.
“You’re really leaving early?”
I turned to face him. “Yeah. I’m gonna head back today. It’s for the best, right?”
He looked distinctly uncomfortable but he didn’t argue. He just shrugged. “I thought you’d stick around through Friday, at least.”
I stared at him in confusion. “Why? What’s Friday?”
“Homecoming.” His gaze met mine and I could have sworn his eyes held a challenge. I stiffened automatically, anger making my muscles tense. Hadn’t we just agreed to let the rivalry go? Hadn’t I just told him I was going to walk away?
Didn’t he get it? I was freakin’ walking away from a girl I liked. A girl I really, truly cared about… And what?
He wanted to rub it in?
I turned back to my duffel bag and shoved the books in with a grunt. “So?”
“I figured you’d take Avery,” he said. His eyes seemed to size me up like he was trying to read me. “Aren’t you guys, like...together or something?”
I let out a sharp exhale. Hadn’t they talked yet? I’d walked out of there two days ago and I knew for a fact they’d been in contact. I’d seen freakin’ Buttercup on our couch yesterday afternoon and they had class together…
So either she hadn’t told Alex yet that she had a crush on him or he was too idiotic to make a move.
I shouldn’t care. Either way, it wasn’t any of my business. I should never have kissed her knowing that she had a thing for my brother. And I should have known from the start that this was one competition I wouldn’t win.
I was used to coming in second in just about everything with Alex, and for the most part I never cared. But now...with this…
When it came to Avery…
I took a deep breath and worked to unclench my jaw. “You should ask her.”
“Wh
at?” He sounded so confused it made me want to smack him.
“You heard me. You should ask her to homecoming.” Because that’s what she wants. That’s what she deserved. She was a romantic who wanted the school’s shining star, and she deserved nothing less.
Besides, Alex wasn’t a bad guy. If he actually fell for a girl, I had no doubt he’d make a good boyfriend. He just had to find someone he cared about more than himself.
Or...someone who could help him lose that defense mechanism that only let him worry about himself.
Avery.
If anyone could make a guy forget his selfish ways, it was her. I glanced over at him. “You don’t have a date yet, right?”
“No, but—”
“You should ask her,” I said again, ignoring the fact that the words physically hurt to get out. “She likes you, man. She always has.”
He gave his head a little shake, his brows drawn together in confusion like I was speaking another language. “Maybe she did but that was before you came along.”
I stiffened instantly. His tone wasn’t accusatory but we had enough bad blood between us that I could read the subtext. I’d come along and stole his girl. Of course that was how he’d see it.
And of course he wouldn’t even notice she was alive until I came along and threatened to take her away.
Well, I guess our long standing rivalry was finally good for something. It opened Alex’s eyes to the amazing girl who’d been right in front of his face for years.
“Do yourself a favor,” I said, zipping up my bags because right now I couldn’t get out of here fast enough. “Get out of your own way and let yourself be happy. Like, actually happy not this pretend crap you pull at school.”
“Like you’re one to talk about being happy? You’re the freakin’ king of brooding,” he snapped.
We looked at each other for a long moment and shared a weird, rueful laugh because no matter what we couldn’t seem to stop ourselves from fighting.
But I wasn’t going to fight him for Avery. Not when she’d always wanted Alex and would probably always want him.
Saved by the Crush's Brother (How to Catch a Crush Book 2) Page 8