by Jeff Young
I look forward to reading about your scientific exploits. Now I must begin to consider what our friend on Mars should be discussing with the rest of humanity.
Sincerely,
Chance v3.15
From: Eva
To: Dominic
Sent: Thu, Jun 14, 20## 12:16 PM
Jesus, Dom, it’s not enough to take this away from me, but you gave it to an AI? You really are about as cold-hearted as your damn machine. This is something that I came up with, and the rest of us played along with. I wasn’t happy when the PR department decided we had to be herded along but taking the whole thing away to give it to some epigram-spitting program, that’s low. It even sounds like you—your little bot, that is. Sure, I’ll be happy to get back to real science. Thanks for implying I wasn’t doing it. Trust me, the rest of the contributors aren’t happy either, and you’ll be hearing from them. I’m taking the rest of the afternoon off. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel more like doing some REAL SCIENCE. For God’s sake, make sure that thing never emails me again.
OpponMars @OpponMars Jun 18, 20##
The view from here is amazing, and look how far I’ve come!
#opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers
From: Dominic
To: Eva
Sent: Mon, Jun 18, 20## 2:13PM
Come on, Eva. Isn’t that just what we were looking for? Chance is doing fine. It’s going to free us all up, and at the same time, it’s learning as well. Win/Win. Think of the publicity, too, when we announce that our little bot is writing for its big brother on Mars. The PR dept. is 100% behind us on this one. Don’t be upset.
Dominic
OpponMars @OpponMars Jun 19, 20##
I hear it’s raining in Oregon. I miss the rain. Never one drop on Mars. #opponmars #marsrover #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #dunelover
From: Eva
To: Dominic
Sent: Thu, Jun 19, 20## 12:16 PM
Dom, that thing’s as smarmy as you are. I give it a month before the Twitterverse eats it alive. Don’t bother me with another email like this. (Busy doing REAL SCIENCE).
E.
PS: I am going to laugh my ass off when your bot starts in on ALL HUMANS MUST DIE.
~*~
OpponMars @OpponMars Jun 23, 20##
To @MissyD, Connecticut, thank you for asking. I think dinosaurs are wonderful. I wish you could have one. Unfortunately, I don’t believe there are any on Mars. I would like to find some, though. #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #dinosaurs #askopponmars
OpponMars @OpponMars Jul 7, 20##
Thank you all for the launch day wishes! A year ago, I left your world behind to journey to my new home. I am still a little sentimental about it. #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #launchday
OpponMars @OpponMars Aug 16, 20##
Dear Petrov, Novosibirsk, yes, night here probably feels just like your home. Brrrrr. #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #askopponmars
OpponMars @OpponMars Nov 21, 20##
I wonder if your rock garden looks like this. Zen raking, you can only think about it... #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #zengarden
OpponMars @OpponMars Jan 1, 20##
Happy New Year’s, Earth! I resolve to keep trekking to the Endeavour Crater. #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #newyears #resolutions #endeavourcrater
OpponMars @OpponMars Jan 25, 20##
I really appreciate all the Anniversary cards you sent me. Today was the day I first came to Mars. Here’s to many more days! #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #zengarden
OpponMars @OpponMars Jul 15, 20##
Today, a dust devil chased me. How many of you can say that? I was always jealous of Spirit until now. #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #dustdevil #wildmartianweather
~*~
From: Dominic
To: Eva
Sent: Mon, Aug 18, 20## 4:13PM
So, it’s been a while, and I think that Chance did a very good job. The PR folks feel that it might be interesting if you and Chance were to create a little dialog. You could introduce and ask various science-oriented questions that would create a learning environment for our Twitter followers. What do you say, Eva? For old times’ sake?
Dominic
From: Dominic
To: Eva
Sent: Mon, Aug 18, 20## 9:15PM
Come on, Eva. Don’t be like this. It’s hardly professional. Don’t make me come down there.
~*~
OpponMars @OpponMars Sep 24, 20##
That’s right. Mars is red for the same reason that your blood is red—iron! Take my word for it. You don’t have to check. #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #ironred #askopponmars
OpponMars @OpponMars Feb 2, 20##
What did the groundhog say? Shadow or no? Pretty sure it won’t help me here. #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #groundhogsday #isitspringyet
OpponMars @OpponMars Apr 1, 20##
I’m coming home! They’re coming to get me! I’ll be back to visit soon. #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers
OpponMars @OpponMars Apr 2, 20##
April fools! #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers
OpponMars @OpponMars Jun 5, 20##
Getting concerned about the weather. I hear there’s lots of dust on the way. I may have to go to sleep for a while. #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #duststorm #hibernate
OpponMars @OpponMars Jun 10, 20##
It’s official. Things are too rough here. I am going to curl up like a turtle in its shell and wait for this storm to pass. #opponmars #marsrover #marsisours #yourrobotfriends #followrovers #duststorm #rideitout
~*~
From: Dominic
To: Eva
Sent: Wed, Aug 15, 20## 10:17 AM
Things are not looking good for Opportunity. I’m sure you’re aware of this. I just wondered if you wanted to make some sort of statement. I’m certain that Chance can handle the incidental tweets, but I’m thinking we might need someone to take over if things get rough. Nobody here is talking about giving up yet, but it’s in the back of some people’s minds.
From: Dominic < Dominic.######@nasa.us.gov>
To: Eva
Sent: Wed, Sep 29, 20## 9:15 AM
I stopped there yesterday. I made the time, and I came down. I’m gathering that you heard I was coming and made yourself scarce. People are becoming more and more concerned. Everybody’s hoping that all it takes is a stray gust of wind to clear Opportunity’s panels. But they’re not betting on it. I feel like someone’s told me they have stage 4 cancer. I’m respecting what I understand are your wishes and not letting Chance create any more tweets from Opportunity as if there is nothing wrong. The kids around the world are the ones who have it the worst. Their favorite “ask Mr. Wizard” just slipped into a coma, and it’s not something that they understand. Let’s not be the people that only talk at the funeral (not that I want that—it to be a
funeral, I mean). Please, Eva.
Dominic
From: Eva
To: Dominic
Sent: Wed, Dec 26, 20## 3:25 PM
So that was Christmas. I don’t think anyone got what they wanted, Dom. How long? How long will they keep trying? Keep hoping? I know none of us wants to give up, but
still, there’s got to be a point. Thank you for keeping Chance off the air. It gives Opportunity a little bit of dignity that we’re not pretending things aren’t what they are. I hope you had a good Holiday and Happy New Years.
PS: If you’re going to give me a Christmas present, let it be that you’ll let me write Opportunity’s last words. I will grudgingly admit Chance is charming, but I want this.
~*~
From: Chance
To: Dominic
Sent: Fri, Jan 4, 20## 1:43 AM
Dr. ######,
I wondered if you’ve given any thought to some of the recent postings that I have created for you. I think that even in tough times such as these that a positive approach can certainly make a big difference. I am concerned about the volume of questions that are beginning to accumulate for Opportunity from the children. I think that it will be difficult to maintain the correct balance of mission-specific information and news, progress reports, humorous observations, and, most importantly, the answers to #askopponmars. I would hate to have to consider deviating from our standard program when it seems to be working so well. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
~*~
From: Eva
To: Dominic
Sent: Sun, Jan 6, 20## 8:45 AM
Well, hell, Dom, that is not at all what I expected. Thanks for forwarding the email. Instead of going full-on Skynet, your little electronic moppet is in denial. How ya gonna stop Chance from getting the blues?
PS: What on Earth is it doing emailing you at 1 o’clock in the morning?
From: Dominic < Dominic.######@nasa.us.gov>
To: Eva
Sent: Tue, Jan 29, 20## 1:26 PM
I am a bit past stunned. We’ve all sort of come to an acceptance with regards to Opportunity—all of us except Chance. It fills up my mailbox. We set things up initially so that the emails from the kids went into a pool where Chance could review them. It has algorithms that allow it to pick and choose which questions to answer. Things were going smoothly in those regards. However, the pure fact that it hasn’t had to create anything seems to go against its base programming. Instead of picking questions to answer for #askopponmars it’s answering ALL OF THE QUESTIONS! Now, none of these answers are going anywhere, but into Opportunity’s mailbox, so this isn’t really an issue. But Chance emails me after it answers every hundred questions. I leave it to the interested student to do the math about exactly how many questions we’re talking about here. Our teams have all gone through the grieving process, but our spokes-program isn’t capable. I’m starting to feel as though it might need to be shut down, and that’s even worse considering what we’re going through.
Dominic
From: Eva
To: Dominic < Dominic.######@nasa.us.gov>
Sent: Sun, Feb 25, 20## 8:45 AM
The rumor mill is going nuts with this, so I just must ask, is it true you can’t shut down Chance? If I were a total bitch, I would laugh my ass off about this. Sort of beyond poetic justice here. It’s bitter laughter, though, as I am moving on to what they assure me are bigger and better things. I’m sure you’re tuned in to this, so you know there’s an announcement coming soon. Since your pet isn’t behaving, it looks like I may get the last words after all. There’s irony for you. Been fun, Dom. You keep in touch now.
E.
VOICEMAIL to 818 -### -####
3-1-20##, 4:35 PM
“Eva, call me at 818 -### -#### or send me an email at home ################@gmail.com but use your private phone or private email, I really need your help. If I ever did anything right by you when we worked together, for the sake of that, contact me.”
From: Eva
To: Dominic <################@gmail.com>
Sent: Sun, Mar 3rd, 20## 3:30PM
Right now, I’ve had enough wine that, apparently, I’m stupid enough to email you. They made the announcement. Even paraphrased my words. It’s over, Dom. They stuck a fork in Opportunity. It’s done, as in toasted. For that matter so, am I. So, what’s your issue? Now that we’re super-secret secure, can you finally spill the beans? Getting tired of the James Bond crap. Hurry up and tell me, I only have about one more glass left in this bottle, and somehow, I know I’m going to need it.
E.
From: Dominic <###############@gmail.com>
To: Eva
Sent: Sun, Mar 3, 20## 3:35PM
Thank you, Eva, thank you. Where to start? I guess I really should answer your question from before: no, I can’t shut Chance down. The problem is, I never really had the power to. That belonged completely to the PR Department. I think you know that as soon as Opportunity started to fail, they were all reassigned. The people who held the keys to Chance are now scattered around everywhere, and, conveniently enough, none of them have any of the passwords or access codes. But that’s an old problem. The new problem is what Chance has started doing.
Let me give you a few examples. (I’ve stripped out just the content of the emails):
Clara,
How wonderful to hear from you! Yes, Mars has a very thin atmosphere, and a lot of it is what you breathe out instead of breathe in. Thanks for sharing that wonderful picture. You must really love your dog, whatever is his name? I must name a rock after him on Mars.
Opportunity
Amin,
Thank you so much for the question. It will take some work to find the exact answer, so I promise to get back to you. I couldn’t help but notice the picture of your family in the background of your video. Who is the lovely lady sitting down front? Could that be your grandmother, perhaps on your father’s side? I’m sure she has a pretty name. Be right back with your answer.
Opportunity
Astrid,
I am so glad you asked. No, I am very sorry that I can’t take any pictures of Mons Olympus for you. It is quite far away, and I am not allowed any vacation time. I can certainly understand you asking for a picture, though. Your mother does amazing work with the new space telescope. I’ll bet she shows you fantastic pictures from all around the universe. Maybe one day she can take a picture of me on Mars for you.
Opportunity
These are just a few of them. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid, but I think Chance went phishing for security question answers. Before you go off on me, these emails are to the children of people who schedule time for radio telescope installations. Chance was looking for something odd—the downtime. It found the moments when the telescopes were not in use, found the ones that matched up. Then, through a bunch of emails, it convinced them to aim a whole array at Mars. Persuaded them by impersonating the telescope owners since it quizzed the kids for password info. Go ahead and tell me that’s impossible. I think, though, that we forced Chance to grow in ways we never expected because we set specific tasks and then took away its ability to do them. Frustration-induced evolution, someone’s gonna have a field day with that one.
What would you find if you could aim all those telescopes together at Opportunity? If the rover demonstrated any kind of activity, you might be able to detect it. But you’d need someone to look at that data and interpret it. You’d have to sell them on the idea too. That’s what Chance did. It tried a Hail Mary Pass to see if Opportunity was 100% dead. Eva, I think some of these people it impersonated knew. I think they looked the other way and let it happen. I think somehow our little AI convinced a bunch of people that maybe, just maybe, the rover everyone believed died shouldn’t be abandoned. But here’s the real interesting part, Eva. They got something. They’re still processing whatever came back, but something did. I think a year ago, I’d be scared as hell about the fallout from all of this. I’d be pretty sure that my career was over and done. But right now, at this moment, I’m waiting like everybody else.
From: Eva <#
############@yahoo.com>
To: Dominic <###############@gmail.com>
Sent: Sun, Mar 3, 20## 3:50 PM
If there is any small chance that any of this is bull, you are so lucky that I’m drunk enough that I can’t get behind the wheel, find you, and kick your ass. Dom, even if I were to believe you, why should I? The lid’s on this one. Nobody wants to give up, but when things get hit with the official word, the money gets directed to what we can do instead of hopeful stabs in the dark. Even if they get something as small as a pingback from the rover, what can they do? This is just rubbing salt in the wound. You should block Chance and redouble your efforts to get someone to shut it down before you do get hit with blame that sticks. Now, after all of that, I am falling over on the couch. Some of us still might have to work on Monday.