by Erica Penrod
The signal light flipped as I made the left-hand turn and straightened the wheel, driving onto the trailer park street. As far as trailer parks went, Sunset Hill was a nice one. Most residents were older, and the yards were kept clean and tidy. There were park rules, like the number of vehicles allowed on the property, only one pet, and a list of allowable trees. They sounded a little excessive to me, but as I drove down the road, I appreciated the clean and welcoming environment. Since there weren’t many kids around the neighborhood, I’d grown up talking to adults, which had always been easier for me. That was part of why I was so protective of the friendship that Jovi and I had. A member of rock star royalty and a non-celebrity and uneccentric girl becoming best friends seems as unlikely as Grandma jogging home, but there we were.
Easing into the small carport, I parked the car and turned off the ignition. Contention had never been something I was good at, and the anger I’d felt at Crue telling me only a few short hours ago that he cared about me while he was still with another girl didn’t burn as hot in the daylight hours. I wished the milk and cookie episode had never happened, but maybe I was glad it happened, because I liked the warm sensation waving through my body and the tingling toes I’d had last night when Crue looked at me in the glow of the refrigerator light. Crue said he cared about me, and I believed him, but his feelings for me didn’t make anything else right, not when he was dating Chloe. And then there was the part where I’d cried myself to sleep, so ugh. There was a reason I’d never joined the debate team; I couldn’t pick a side and stick to it.
I got out of the car and closed the door behind me. A slight breeze rustled the turning leaves, and the smell of change hung in the air. A movement caught the corner of my eye, and I turned towards the backyard. Crue stood there with a rake in his hands. Dang, he looked so good.
Guilt made my shoes feel like they’d been dipped in cement. Something was wrong with me. I didn’t have anything to feel guilty about. My anger was justified, and if I left him in the dark, feeling slightly uncomfortable, that was nothing compared to what he’d put me through by following me back home. And yet my stomach was tied in a knot. That wasn’t me. I wasn’t the girl who threw down insults or had to get in the last jab. No matter how I justified my actions, I never wanted to hurt anyone.
Assuming I’d actually hurt him. It was ridiculous and egotistical to believe I had that much power over Crue.
“Hey.” I tucked the keys in my jacket pocket and walked over to the chain-link fence. “What are you doing?” The answer was obvious, but the way he looked wearing a white T-shirt beneath an unbuttoned flannel shirt and his hair split in different directions, like my heart, He could’ve been modeling for a landscaping commercial or posting social media pics.
Crue turned, and the sun caught beads of moisture along his brow. I gulped back the wanting in my belly. On second thought, he was just out to torture me. Ha, ha, this will make you regret walking away from me probably played on repeat in his mind.
Part of me expected him to scowl at me after what I’d said last night, but his thick ebony brows didn’t move, nor did his onyx eyes narrow. If I’d been any good at this teenage crush stuff, a flicker of hope might not have sparked at his lingering look, but I smothered the idea. My misunderstanding was what had gotten me in this situation in the first place.
“Just raking the leaves.” He blinked a couple times, as if he had to clear his own mind. “Do you know where I should put this?” He pointed to the pile in front of him.
“Yeah, put it in the blue waste container in the carport.” I smiled. Perhaps if we just ignored what happened, things would go back to the way they were.
No. I couldn’t keep doing what wasn’t working. I wouldn’t be rude, but I refused to be the girl waiting around on a guy who might never want her, and I didn’t want to be anyone’s second choice. Crue and I didn’t have to be anything. This was my life, and it was time I remembered I had the power to choose happiness, whether the guy I liked wanted me or not.
“Thank you. That was really nice of you.” I spun on my heel and drew in a deep breath. My feet felt much lighter than they had a minute ago, and my chest didn’t seem so heavy. Maybe that was what happened when you took control of your life.
Chapter Nine
“Everything is good at the house,” I reassured my grandma, but she searched my face and then stole a glance at Crue. “Bonnie and Crue have cleaned up the yard and emptied the fridge.”
My grandma always saw right through me. A hip replacement and possibly being under the influence of narcotics didn’t affect her ability in the least. “I can’t thank you enough for the house, and especially for bringing Emery to me.” Grandma smiled at Bonnie and then at Crue.
I glanced down at my shoes as she looked at the guy I’d moved on from, just in case my body betrayed me and my cheeks blushed. Her blue eyes were clear and bright like the autumn sky, and I was afraid she’d seen everything.
“They say I should only have to be in the rehabilitation center for a few weeks.” She pulled up the bedsheet and smoothed the wrinkles. “I’m glad I won’t have to worry about the house.”
“We were happy to help.” Bonnie grinned. Her brown hair was in a ponytail, and she had an old concert T-shirt on under a denim jacket. “We think of Emery as one of the family.”
Emotion caught in my throat. I knew how I felt about the Zeplin family (excluding Crue, of course), and I understood they cared about me, but when Bonnie said she thought of me as family, my heart almost burst.
“My Em is easy to love.” Grandma gazed up at me. “She’s a special girl.”
My face heated with embarrassment.
“Yes, she is.” Bonnie agreed as she slid an arm around me in a half hug. “I think we’ll give you two some privacy. Beth, it was so lovely to meet you. And don’t worry about Emery; we’ll take care of her.” Bonnie smiled at me. “Although she’s pretty good at taking care of herself.”
“Thank you.” Grandma’s voice cracked. “It was lovely to meet you, Bonnie, and you too, young man.”
Crue’s hands were stuffed into his pockets, and though I tried not to look up at his face, I watched the same smile I’d tried to edit from my memory appear as he looked at Grandma. “It was nice to meet you too.” His eyes darted from hers to mine, and I quickly stared at the clock on the wall.
Bonnie and Crue left, and the door closed behind them. I winced, knowing what was coming.
“Do I have to ask, or do you want to tell me?” Grandma smiled.
I sat down in the chair beside the bed and reached for her hand. “He’s the guy I’ve been telling you about.” I called Grandma once or twice a week, and because I’ve never kept anything from her, I’d told her about my crush on Crue. “Only now it’s over and we’re … uh … friends.” I said this like there was ever really a beginning, because at no point when I was hanging out with Crue was he free from Chloe. The relationship might not have been official in his mind, but in Chloe’s, Crue had always belonged to her. “It’s okay.” I shrugged my shoulders.
A notch appeared between Grandma’s brows as she looked at me. “So you don’t like him anymore?”
I’d always been honest with my grandma, so I told her the truth. “I’m trying not to.”
She nodded. “And can I ask why?”
My chest tightened. “Because he likes someone else.”
Grandma squeezed my fingers. “Look, I don’t know about this other girl, but anyone with eyes can see that boy’s crazy about you.” She laughed. “He watches you when you’re not looking, and talk about chemistry—the room was so full of sparks that I was worried my oxygen might catch fire.”
I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed her and how easily she softened the blows life threw my way. “I don’t know what to think.” Letting go of her hand, I slumped back in the chair. “I just don’t understand him, and I’m done trying to figure out why he even likes this other girl.”
“Sounds like you’ve m
ade up your mind.” Tiny lines creased the corners of her eyes as she gave me a soft smile.
“Yeah, I have.” I smiled, knowing I already made the decision to be done swooning over Crue. Now all I had to do was live with my choice.
Chapter Ten
I arrived back at my dorm late Sunday night and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Emotionally exhausted, my mind was appreciative of the silence. No need to think about Crue or worry about my grandma. Getting a good night’s rest was the only thing on the agenda.
The next morning, I woke up feeling more refreshed than I had in days. The weekend trip to Montana had been short, but it’d been just the right amount of time to see that Grandma was going to be okay. Leaving her wasn’t as hard as I’d thought, knowing she wouldn’t be home for a few weeks anyway, and I was ready to put some distance between me and Crue. Sure, I’d made my decision, but that didn’t mean I wanted to see his face every time I turned around. His constant presence was like a hunk of chocolate on the first day of a new diet.
As I walked into school, I remembered I’d have try to catch up on the schoolwork I’d missed on Friday, which was good and would keep my mind busy. School was always a good thing for me. I liked the challenge, and I wanted the busywork. Focusing on homework and assignments helped keep my mind off what I didn’t want to think about.
Later that day, Jovi and I stopped on our way to third period to check out the new poster on the wall. “Look, there’s another dance coming up.” I tried to sound excited. “It’s the Halloween dance.” Just because my love life was nonexistent didn’t mean I couldn’t be happy for my best friend. “And it’s a costume ball.”
Jovi tilted her head as she studied the bright orange poster board. “It says girl’s choice.”
I nodded as my mind drifted back to the last school dance. “You and Nile will have so much fun.”
“Oh, you’re coming too.” Jovi used her “don’t argue with me” voice.
“Hey, Emery,” a voice called from behind us. We turned to see Max smile as he passed.
I lifted my hand waved. “Hi, Max.” He passed by, and Jovi and I both stared as I pushed my glasses back on my nose. “Max is cute.” Somehow, I’d never really appreciated how good-looking my date was until now. He was tall and blond and had bright blue eyes.
“You just noticed?” Jovi leaned in and bumped me softly with her shoulder. “You should ask Max to the dance.”
“I don’t know.” My life was simpler when guys were not part of the equation. I focused on my homework and spent time reading my favorite novels, not trying to reenact one. “I think I’m done with guys for a while.”
“You can’t be serious.” We started walking. “You can’t let my dumb brother ruin your social life.”
“I’m not.” An image of Crue popped into my mind, and I quickly shoved it aside. “I just don’t want to deal with guys.”
“I thought you had a lot of fun with Max at homecoming.” We squeezed together as the hall crowded in on both sides. In between classes, the school was like an anthill, with grey-and-white-dressed insects hustling from one end to the next.
“Yeah, I did.” I stepped on Jovi’s foot as Ryan Jacobs brushed by me, tipping me over.
“Sorry.” Ryan called over his shoulder. He was the class clown, cute and clumsy, and tripping around him happened to a lot of people.
My date with Max had been fun up until my encounter with Crue. Ahhhhh. Perhaps Jovi had a point. “I’ll think about it.” We shuffled through the maze while my mind reeled. What if I’d been blinded by my stupid crush on Crue and I hadn’t even noticed the nice guy right in front of me? Granted, there’d been no zing on my part, but I could’ve blocked that out too. I didn’t think Crue had completely robbed me of my senses, but if he had, maybe there was more to Max White than I’d allowed myself to see.
Art class was the last one for the day, and while my mind grabbed on to numbers and words, drawing and painting seem to be lost somewhere in a black hole. “Bye.” I said to Mr. Watts as I passed by him.
He stood at the door, wishing every student a good day. “Your project is really coming along.” Mr. Watts smiled, which reminded me of the look on Grandma’s face when I’d give her a picture I’d colored in elementary school.
“Thanks.” I snugged the strap on my shoulder as I stepped into the hallway and wondered if there were such a thing as an art tutor. If the reason I didn’t get into the college of my choice (yet to be determined and not by my choosing, but whichever school offered me a scholarship) was because of an art class, I was going to be ticked. Although, as nice as Mr. Watts was, I was sure he’d reward me for my effort, even though my rendition of a tree looked more like a tall stick-figure person with a cloud of hair and arms flailing in every direction.
“Em.” Jovi waved at me from across the hall.
I smiled, forgetting about failing art, and waited for a break in the crowd to cross. “Hey.” I managed to get to her after bumping into a few fellow students like we were bumpers cars on a track. “How was class?”
“Fine.” Her blue eyes intensified as she searched the crowd. “Where’s Nile?”
I chuckled. “I’m sure he’ll be here any minute.” A group of girls walked by, glancing our direction with their noses in the air. “It’s not like he’d go to polo practice without seeing you first.”
Jovi’s pretty face morphed as her brows knit together and she pursed her lips.
I followed her gaze and swallowed. Crue and Chloe were walking together. The energy drained from my body, and I looked away. Watching Chloe hang all over him like a bad sweater wasn’t my idea of a good time and wouldn’t help me in my pursuit of (not including Crue Zeplin) happiness.
“Ugh.” Jovi sounded like the time she’d bitten into a cheap crab cake. “Even if Chloe weren’t with my brother, I still wouldn’t like her.”
I touched her elbow. “Come on, let’s walk towards Nile’s last class.” All I had to do was mention Nile’s name and I could distract Jovi from anything. “I told you I’m done with all that.”
She sighed. “You’re right. If Crue wants to be an idiot, who am I to stop him?”
“Um, you’re his sister.” I chuckled, although she was right. Crue was in charge of his own thoughts and actions. I certainly had no power over him.
“True, but I guess he just likes to learn things the hard way.” Jovi smiled and her shoulders relaxed. “Can you come over today? I have a surprise I want to show you.”
My curiosity was piqued as the day’s classes ran through my mind. “I’ve got a little bit of homework, but afterwards I can.”
“Cool. Snap me when you’re ready, and I’ll come pick you up.”
“I’ll just take the bus.” Not having a car usually wasn’t a big deal, but it would be nice not to worry about a bus schedule or relying on Jovi to drive me everywhere.
“Okay, but I’m driving you home.” Jovi smiled, and her perfectly spaced teeth, not like mine with a small gap between the front two, glowed back at me.
“Deal.”
An annoying laugh echoed above the crowd and raked down my skin, followed by an “Oh, Crue, you’re so funny.” I heaved a sigh and walked with Jovi. Ignoring Crue was not easy, and apparently, I needed more than my schoolwork to keep me occupied. I didn’t know what Jovi’s surprise was, but if it wasn’t a boyfriend in a box, I needed to consider giving Max White a chance.
The Zeplin property was on the other side of Lake Sammamish and began at a long, gated drive. The bus dropped me off, and I walked to the security scanner and looked into the screen. The gate opened and I began my trek to the house, which I didn’t mind, since the grounds surrounding me were beautiful and immaculate, even in the leaf-falling season. Neatly trimmed hedges fenced in green grass and ornamental trees, and the tiled drive was artwork. The Zeplin grounds were unlike anything I’d ever seen or any place I’d ever been, until I’d become friends with Jovi. The cream-colored stucco house was huge and bre
athtaking, with a Spanish flair. Terracotta shingles, cast-iron railing, and arched doorways made me feel like I was visiting royalty.
I sucked in some air as I stood at the front doors. My chest heaved far too hard for a casual stroll up an enchanting road. There was no need to get all huffy and excited. This wasn’t like the previous times I’d visited the Zeplin house. I wasn’t yearning to catch a glimpse of Crue. Until now, I’d pretended I didn’t care and didn’t want to see Crue, but deep down I knew my heart had binoculars, hoping to scope out the rock star’s son.
Not this time. Something like gumption had followed me home from Montana, and I didn’t want to see him. A good, long fast was what this girl needed, which would only be possible if I didn’t hang out with Jovi. I couldn’t do that, so I had to get tough (and by tough, I mean think about another guy).
My lungs calmed enough to a non-embarrassing pace, and I pushed the doorbell. Seconds later, the doors swung open. “Hi, Smith.” I grinned up at the butler. He was a man of few words, but the gleam in his eyes often told you exactly how he felt.
“Hello, Emery.” Smith took a step back and gestured for me to come in. “Jovi is in her room.”
“Thanks.” I walked into the luxurious foyer and made my way to the staircase. A deep breath and a little prayer that Crue was nowhere around fueled my steps. If I didn’t feed my feelings and did my best to avoid seeing him, they should shrivel up and die like the time I hadn’t watered my grandma’s geraniums when she’d been on a trip. I kept my eyes on the right side of the hallway towards Jovi’s room, avoiding anything on the left, because Crue’s room was across from his sister’s.
Triumph sounded in my head like a trumpet. I’d purposely looked away and I’d arrived without interruption. Yeah, me, I congratulated myself. I hurried and knocked on the door like someone was trying to steal my trophy. I didn’t want to take any chances standing in the hallway.