I’d seen that bra before. I liked that bra.
“Boring,” she finished, reaching down to yank off her socks, leaving them in two small balls on the floor before padding over to me and sitting herself on my lap.
She fit perfectly, too. Her thin, slender frame curled against my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight. She rested her head on my shoulder, and I leaned my cheek on the top of her head.
“I wish I didn’t have to go to classes,” Ash whispered.
“A few more years and you won’t.” I didn’t want time to pass us that quickly. I’d graduate before Travis; he was the lucky one who’d been held back in third grade, so he’d get to spend more time with her. Me? I’d graduate. Will probably would, too, even if he chose a new major. Some of his credits from his old school would still apply. Sawyer…I didn’t know about him. I assumed the classes he’d taken last semester he had to drop out of since he was gone the entire last month and didn’t take his finals, so maybe he was behind.
I needed to make the most out of every second I had with her. I needed to make Ash realize that she was my everything; without her, I’d have nothing.
“I don’t want to think about that,” Ash murmured, tilting her face up. I had to stop leaning my cheek against her, meet her grey eyes. Like two storm clouds, threatening to downpour. Such beautiful eyes, set in a face that drove me crazy.
“Me neither,” I agreed, lowering my mouth to hers, kissing her softly, sweetly, trying to tell her that this—us, here, now—was all that mattered. We’d face what the future held when the future was here.
Her lips were pliant against mine, letting me take the lead. Her hand curled against my neck, angling herself better as she parted her mouth, inviting me in. Anytime she was with me, my body was on fire. Each and every nerve in me screamed they had to have her, had to feel her soft skin against mine. Had to get her out of those clothes and tear off that maroon bra.
Our mouths parted, both of us panting, as my fingers found the bottom of her shirt, helping it off her. Her chest heaved against the smooth fabric of the bra, and I reached behind her, unhooking the clasp and tossing it aside, freeing her chest from that restrictive fabric.
God, she was beautiful. There was nothing about her I’d change. Nothing at all. She was everything to me. All-encompassing and all-consuming; she filled the hole that had been left in my heart, and then some.
I brought my lips to her neck, relishing in each and every sweet sigh escaping her throat. Dragging my lips along her collarbone, she shivered against me, arching her back and spreading her legs to straddle me in the chair. She ground against me, eliciting an aching hardness between my legs that only grew as the moments ticked by.
I kept one hand poised around her lower back, the other wandered up to her head, cradling it as I nipped at her tender skin. When I started to suck the crook of her neck, Ash let out a moan that ignited me to my very core.
That’s it. I had to have her naked. Though it felt amazing for her to grind against me, I pushed her off of me, leading us to the bed. I didn’t let her crawl on; first, my fingers danced around the button on her jeans, our gazes locking. I watched as she held her breath as I undid the button, the zipper shortly after. Her cheeks were flushed, her breathing hard.
It wasn’t the only hard thing in the room. I was, too. Almost painfully so.
But now wasn’t about me. It was about Ash.
It was always about Ash.
Her eyelids fluttered closed as I helped her out of her panties, dropping them to the floor on top of her jeans. I leaned my forehead against hers as I helped her onto my bed, laying her down flat and spreading her legs wide.
Having her naked before me was indescribable. The lust in her expression, her lips parted, how she opened her legs to me without question, without a single trace of hesitation. She was beauty incarnate; I didn’t deserve her. The least I could do for this angel was talk with Sawyer. If that’s what she wanted, it’s what I wanted.
I ran my hands along her inner thighs, feeling the soft skin beneath my palms tremble in anticipation of what I was about to do. If there was one thing Ash praised me on, it was my skill with my tongue. If she had her way, I was pretty sure I’d be permanently attached to her sex at all hours of the day.
Not that I would complain much, because the sounds she made kept my heart beating.
I lowered myself to her apex, breathing on her tempting pink folds. I licked my fingers, running two of them along her, watching as she instantly arched her back; her way of crying out for more. Moving aside my fingers, I tasted her with my tongue, circling her clit before putting pressure on it, teasing it, sucking on it.
Ash breathed out a breathy moan, her hands fisting in my sheets. Her hips started to rock, grinding her apex against my mouth, and I responded by inserting a finger into her wet, needy hole. I had to close my eyes, focusing on how she felt against my mouth, how tight her inner walls were on my finger, not to mention the sounds filling the air.
It was a symphony I could listen to twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
My finger pumped into her faster, my sucking on her clit intensifying. I knew just by the way her breathing hitched that she was close. I knew what Ash liked, how to get her off, how to edge her to her precipice again and again and enjoy every second of it.
When Ash came, she moaned an earth-shattering moan, her inner walls clenching around my finger. Her entire body tensed up for a few moments, relaxing shortly after. This was normally when I would keep going, pushing her to orgasm again and again, but for whatever reason, the desire in me was too strong, the ache in my balls too much to ignore. I needed to be inside her, and I needed it now.
I withdrew my finger from her, lifting my mouth off her. All of my clothes were still on, but I rectified that with ease, tossing every single garment I wore onto the floor before positioning myself between her legs, holding myself above her.
When she looked at me right then, with such love and such need, I nearly lost it. I hoped, prayed I gave her the same look. Ash had to know how important she was to me.
I sunk into her, my hips pushing against hers. Her body took me in completely, every inch of me disappearing into her slick, hungry sex. I leaned into her, practically smothering her body with mine as I began to thrust. Every time I filled her up to the brink, she cried out. Her hands found their way to my back, nails digging in.
Leaning my cheek against hers, I focused on the growing pleasure within me, how her body milked mine for everything it was worth, and then still asked for more. Being with her was ecstasy, pure and simple. She jumpstarted my heart and gave me a purpose to keep living.
Over and over I pumped into her, her body melding against mine beneath my chest. Our noses grazed each other’s, and our mouths came together. This kiss was unlike the other. This kiss was hard and fast, hungry and desperate. I gave her everything in this kiss, and she reciprocated by running her tongue over my bottom lip.
Pleasure exploded inside me, and I let it happen, breaking the kiss to lean my forehead against hers and groan. I pumped into her quickly, emptying myself inside of her, giving her everything. And then, once the high of the orgasm faded, I kissed her mouth again, back to my gentle, unhurried self.
Keeping my arms around her, I withdrew myself from her and pulled her into my chest. I couldn’t imagine not holding her, not having her with me. Things certainly had come a far way from last semester.
“I love you,” I murmured, watching as her eyelids sluggishly lifted, her grey eyes glimmering in the evening light seeping in through the windows.
She drew a hand along my chest, one of her fingers circling a nipple and sending a jolt of pleasure into my chest. “I love you, too,” Ash whispered, giving me a smile. Our heads lay on my pillow, and I reached for her hair, tucking its pink lengths behind her ear.
I couldn’t say how much time passed, Ash and I laying together with not a care in the world, but I eventually broke the si
lence, saying, “I’m meeting with Sawyer tomorrow.”
Ash had to sit up at that news, pulling herself from my arms as she blinked down at me. “Really?” Shock dwelled within her face and her tone, as if me meeting with Sawyer was the last thing she expected.
Couldn’t blame her, because it was the last thing I expected, too.
“Yeah,” I said, sitting up beside her. “He texted me earlier, said he needs to talk to me.”
Ash bit her lip, the gesture oddly entrancing. “What time? Do you need me there with you?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. Having Ash there would only make things harder, I knew. I needed to put all of my focus on Sawyer, not worry about things like I did when I was with Ash. Just me and him…which it hadn’t been for so long. Sawyer Salvatore was like a stranger to me; I didn’t need Ash in the form of a mediator. “I’ll be fine. I want to talk to Sawyer alone.”
She grew quiet, nodding once. “Okay, but if you change your mind, know that I will skip class just to be there.”
Grinning, I pulled her into my chest. “I thought we weren’t supposed to skip any more classes this semester?”
Ash giggled. “Yeah, yeah. Being a good student is hard,” she whined.
We spent the rest of the night being just that: good students, with our clothes on, of course. We worked on our papers and our homework, and she tried to get the hang of whatever it was she was learning in her statistics course. I was never quite good at math, so it wasn’t like I could offer her any help.
Travis swung by once night fell, and we ate a late dinner together. Will didn’t like coming over when Travis was over, so he kept to his apartment. I loved my brother, I did, and I hated that he felt like an outsider here, but I knew I had to give him time to adjust.
And he had to. Adjust, I meant. He would. I had faith in him.
I had more faith in my older brother than I did myself. For most of my life, he’d always been there. My rock, protecting me. And now Will was all I had, other than Ash. We were family; we would endure any stormy weather that surfaced.
My brother, along with Ash, were the two most important people in my life. Without them, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.
I couldn’t sleep that night. I was pretty sure it was because I had a meeting with Sawyer, and I was nervous. Anxious, above all else. Talking to him—it was only as I lay there, wide awake in the darkness, that I let my anger surface—I didn’t want to talk to him. I wanted to hurt him, to shout at him, to somehow show him how much he’d made me hurt this last year.
Trying to take Ash…hurting Ash—there was no forgiveness for something like that.
My anger made my heart beat faster and the blood pump through my veins harder. I didn’t often let my anger get the best of me, because I knew I was better than that. I’d let it slip that night all those months ago, when Travis had texted me and I’d seen Ash and Sawyer together. The rage I’d felt that night…I didn’t think I’d ever been so mad.
Was it better to be angry or sad? Probably neither.
Yes, neither, so I had to swallow it down and face the music. Things were changing around here, and I had to deal with it. If I wanted Will to come around and get acclimated to Hillcrest and our relationship with Ash, I needed to show him how to do it. I needed to be the model, the one he could look up to, for once.
No anger.
No annoyance.
No revenge.
I had to let things go, for Will and for Ash.
Chapter Seven – Sawyer
I sat in the lounge in one of the newer buildings in Hillcrest. My bag rested against the cushioned chair, and I stared at the blue eyes sitting across from me. My knees were apart, my posture relaxed. Someone walking by would take one look at me and figure I was at ease, but they’d be wrong.
Truth be told, I was nervous. Apologizing…it wasn’t my strong suit, and after everything I did, saying I’m sorry wouldn’t be enough.
Travis sat hunched over, his arms resting on his knees. “As long as you don’t say anything stupid, you’ll be fine,” he said, eyeing me up suspiciously, like he thought I’d go ahead and say something stupid to Declan.
Which, okay, it was possible I’d say something stupid. There was a lot of bad blood between us. Even though I’d been wrong, I still kind of hated him.
A habit, you know. Just a habit.
Considering my other habits, this one wasn’t so bad.
“I know,” I said, glancing at my phone. Almost time to go to the union to meet him. It was all Travis’s idea. I knew I had to reintegrate myself into the group somehow, but meeting with Declan so soon had been all on Travis.
I had ideas, occasionally, but most of them involved Ash and what I’d do to her if I had her.
Fuck her, obviously. Tell her I needed her. Bare my heart and soul like those sappy shits did in the movies. It wasn’t me, but I was willing to be that dopey guy if it meant Ash would be with me.
The fact that she currently had three boyfriends was a complication that only made things more…well, complicated.
Had to play nice. It kind of sucked, because during the last twelve months, the last thing I’d been doing was playing nice with anybody. I did what I wanted when I wanted—and I supposed that’s what got me here in the first place, what sent me to rehab, besides Travis and my stupid family.
I didn’t care about the Salvatore name. My family was a joke, anyway. I didn’t want to be a part of it, but I’d use their money for as long as I could. At least until my father realized I wouldn’t fill his shoes once he retired.
“Will you be watching like a creep?” I asked, a smirk growing on my face as I stared at Travis, somehow already knowing the answer.
He frowned at me.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” I said, picking at the seam of the armrest on the chair.
“If you want to be with Ash, you need to be good with Declan.”
“I know,” I said yet again. I knew I had to get Declan’s permission, his forgiveness, and all that shit. I was eager to be with Ash, yes, but now…faced with the groveling I had to do, I couldn’t help but feel riddled with anxiety.
I didn’t apologize. I didn’t make amends. I did what I wanted when I wanted…but that was the old Sawyer. The new Sawyer had to be different. I had to get used to being on my knees, apparently.
Not literally, but you knew what I meant.
I checked my phone again. “I should head there.” I got up and grabbed my bag, swinging it over my shoulder. Travis was slow to stand with me, although we parted ways in the hall, leaving the building on opposite sides.
Declan was the primary obstacle. Once I was okay with Declan, he’d try to smooth things over with Will. And Travis—Travis was on my side already, for whatever reason. That one was hot and cold, and I knew I’d have to be careful around him, but I didn’t care. I just needed Ash.
It was funny how much of a one-track mind I had now. Now that I was free of rehab, now that I could breathe clean air, I knew what I wanted. It helped, I supposed, that Dean Briggs was dead. After all this time, my sister had been avenged.
By Will, no less.
Kind of wished I could’ve been the one to end his fucking life, but maybe I couldn’t handle having blood on my hands. I was a vindictive person, I’d wanted Declan dead for so long, but when it came down to it…I wasn’t a monster. I wasn’t like Travis. I was just a broken man trying to put myself back together.
I zipped up my jacket, sighing as the cool air slapped me in the face once I exited the building. My feet drew me to the union. The sidewalks were mostly empty, as the next round of classes had already begun. A few stragglers passed me, though they hardly looked at me.
I wondered if they knew I’d gone to rehab. I had to shut off all of my accounts on every social media site, not only because I’d been MIA for a month while away, but because I was bombarded with questions about parties, not to mention the DMs from all the nameless girls who’d either been with me or
wanted to get with me.
My infamy was legendary around here.
Travis had also told me what Ash made them do over winter break, so I knew I’d have to make an appointment to see a doctor and get tested, too. That, I could do easily. This talk with Declan…might be harder.
The moment I entered the union, I saw him. Declan was early, and he stood near the bookstore, his head bent, his dark eyes on his phone. A smile was plastered on his face as his fingers worked to type something in.
Was he texting Ash?
Jealousy threatened to rear its ugly head, and I swallowed it down, hoping I looked normal. No anxiety to be seen, no annoyance at having to play nice. Just an eager beaver willing to do anything to be with Ash.
Wasn’t that what we were all doing anyway? Trying to play nice with each other to get the girl we all craved? Maybe we could be friends. Maybe I was blowing this out of proportion, but the things I did…I knew I didn’t deserve an easy forgiveness.
I walked right up to Declan, watching as his smile slowly faded the moment his head lifted and our eyes met. “Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” he replied, stuffing his phone into his pocket. He looked…a lot better than he did before. No more bags under his eyes, no more gaunt cheeks. Declan looked less haunted, more alive. Another thing he had in common with me.
We went to the cafeteria, found some empty chairs. I sat down first, Declan sluggish in sitting across from me. After setting my bag on the ground, leaning it against my chair, I rested my arms on the table, meeting Declan’s cautious amber eyes.
He didn’t quite know what to make of this either. Good to know I wasn’t alone.
“So,” I said, trying to tune the noise around us out, “how have you been?” I wanted to hit myself after saying that. I knew how he’d been—his father was dead, the psycho got what he deserved, and he was with Ash. He was with Ash and I wasn’t. I didn’t like that.
Liar: A Dark College Romance (Hillcrest University Book 6) Page 6