by LJ Swallow
Runes glow violet against the wall—those hidden so well I never noticed them. Or did I create them? Their power magnifies the new magic and I finally scramble to catch up with what’s happening.
“I want to leave.”
Anastasia smiles as I stand. “You could fight me.”
Yes. “No.”
Her smile drops. “Do it.”
The voices stop as if somebody unplugged them, and the shadow edging my vision clears. I blink. What the hell is happening? Anastasia glares at me as air rushes from my lungs, breathing out the frustration that had clutched at my chest. The runes on the wall have vanished and the disgusting wriggling inside disappeared.
“Can I go now?” I ask stiffly.
She purses her lips, staring as if I’m an apparition. “How did you stop the magic?”
“I guess I’m stronger than I thought,” I say with bravado I don’t feel.
“Or not strong enough.” With her cryptic response, Anastasia wrinkles her nose and waves a hand towards the door. “Fine. I won’t keep you any longer, but I do hope to see you at the gathering this evening.”
I hesitate. Is this a trick? She gestures at the door again. Confused, I make my way towards the exit and my stomach tightens when I see who’s standing outside.
Tobias.
From his vantage point, he saw everything, but I didn’t see him.
I tip my chin and narrow my eyes at Tobias, projecting ‘what the hell are you doing?’ into his mind. No response. Instead, he turns and walks away. Heat prickles through my body as my anxiety spikes.
Why won’t he talk to me?
Chapter Six
MAEVE
My room would be a sanctuary if this was an ordinary house; instead, I'm on alert for threats and the strange guards that hover around the edge of my consciousness. I ate alone at dinner, sitting in the same room alone. My stomach churned and I struggled to eat the chicken and salad placed in front of me. I avoided eating or drinking much, terrified the Blackwoods may add something dangerous to influence me further. Each time I heard a voice nearby, I readied myself for Anastasia's hinted magical test, but saw nobody apart from my escort, Mhairi.
Relieved I'm allowed respite in my room, I'm ready to crawl under the covers and hide.
Again, my thoughts return to the others. Did Jamie survive? And what of Ash and Andrei. My throat thickens. They'll plan to find me, but how is that possible? The Confederacy may help return me to the academy, but with each passing day I'm unsure if I'm any safer in their hands. Both sides want to use me in a war headed by people who have their own interests at heart, not those of the supernatural societies they lead.
Vincent may be a Dominion tool, but someone else inside the academy has sinister motives too. Are the Dominion and Confederacy playing into each other's hands? All I can picture is death and stalemate.
I sit on the edge of the bed, sinking into the sumptuous mattress, and pick up one of the many pillows. I hold the silken material to my face as if I squeezed hard enough, I could push some of my stress into the pillow. All day, I've attempted to connect with Jamie's mind. We never have before, but I hoped in vain we might. Nothing. Our magical connection must be on a different plane to Matt and Amelia's.
This sharpens into focus the worst part of this situation. I'm alone.
I smother my face with the pillow and scream the frustration and anguish I've saved so far today. Then I place the pillow back on the bed and take a shuddery breath. If I rest, am I safe to sleep?
The floorboards outside the room creak instantly, pushing my heart rate sky high. Oh, god, no. I never hear Mhairi's footsteps when she approaches the door. What if this is Nikolai? He took delight in following me at a subtle distance I could feel as I wandered the house.
Jumping to my feet, I look around the room for a weapon. I've not physically attacked anybody since I punched Tyler since magic works better, but if I surprise the intruder, I might disarm them enough to cast a spell.
I hold my breath as if this would allow me to hear more, but the only sound is blood whooshing in my ears.
The door remains closed. Swallowing the lump growing in my throat, I creep to the door and press my ear against the wood. What if this is more than one person?
A test.
The rune in the centre of the door glows and my hearing dulls. I try to open the door, but the metal doorknob burns into my palm and I snatch my hand away. No injury, but enough discomfort to keep me from trying again.
The floorboards creak outside again and I place my hand on the door, away from the rune, steadying myself as the anxiety grows.
I sense a new energy—one I'm familiar with.
"I'm coming in." Tobias's voice is barely audible in my mind and I'm torn between relief and fear he's the enemy sent to test me.
The door handle moves, and I step back as the door opens. Tobias stays in the hallway and watches me warily.
I'm speechless, expecting more words from him in my mind, but nothing. He’s dressed as he was at breakfast, the well-cut black shirt and trousers bringing him closer to Nikolai than Tobias in appearance. He glances behind him before slowly closing the door with a quiet click, then rests his back against the wood. Exhaustion paints dark shadows beneath Tobias’s eyes and there’s defeat in his expression.
Finally, I find my voice. "You betrayed us."
"No."
I choke out a laugh. "You're cosying up with Anastasia. Are you waiting for her to cure you so you can be your old self?"
"How can you believe that?" he whispers.
"Umm. I've seen you with her and she's all over you. Anastasia touched you and her look told me she’d done that before." I screw my face up in disgust. “And you didn’t pull away.”
"I'm spending my time around her to help you. Didn't you hear what I said when she attacked us?" Tobias steps forward and I back away. "Maeve. I’m doing all I can to protect you, and I won’t stop until you’re out of here and safe."
I cross my arms around myself as my emotions threaten to break through the paper-thin barrier holding them back. "I want to believe you, but you stood back and watched what Anastasia did to me." I swallow. “I don’t understand what she did to me.”
He shakes his head and looks at me in despair. "I helped you."
"How?"
"Hell, Maeve." He sucks in a breath and moves close. His energy reaches out for mine, in the way the other guys would reach out to touch me. "Didn't you hear me?"
I shake my head as my breathing shortens and Tobias steps back swearing, breaking the binding as he does. "The magic Anastasia tried to coax from you is powerful. Did you think you resisted on your own?"
"Yes," I whisper.
"Wrong. The Blackwoods want to twist your magic into something else. Blackwood energy flowed through you, triggered by Anastasia. She’s testing you and I threw up a barrier in your mind." He drags a hand through his hair. "You can’t access that magic and allow it to strengthen. The dark magic will consume yours—and you."
I falter and drop my arms. "You stopped me?"
"Yes. I knew as soon as Ruben walked into the room that you were in there. I know what they want. I promised I would protect you and that’s what I did."
"I thought..." I shake my head.
"You thought what?"
His gaze is steady and guilt washes over me. "I thought you took us to the farmhouse last night deliberately. That you knew the Blackwoods would come."
"What the hell?" Anger flashes across his mind. "Do you have that little faith in me?"
How can I say the coincidence was too great? That when I heard Anastasia greet him like an old friend, the shock blew apart that trust? "You're distant, Tobias. However hard I try to get closer to you, however many secrets you tell me, I sense you hold something back. There's a part of you buried—not only the Tobias who killed, but the new one who's an enigma."
“An enigma?” he asks. “And one you don’t trust after everything I’ve told you about mysel
f?”
I moisten my lips. "I do trust you, but then something like this happens and I realise I don’t know you at all."
There's no fathomless expression the way I expected, no stoic response, and I don't hear him either. Instead, Tobias looks at me with hurt clear in his eyes. My stomach churns as the guilt grows. I've struggled not to judge others at the academy, but how can I feel safe when I'm surrounded by secrets and lies with no idea who's telling me which?
"You want to really know me?" he asks in a low voice. "You want me to stop holding back?"
"Yes. Stop hiding who you are."
As he moves closer to me, I can't step back. The magic building around him as his hurt grows intensifies, although we're not touching. Tobias takes a strand of my hair and my scalp buzzes as if he's run his fingers across the skin. "I have told you my history, but I hide myself to protect you, not me."
"Physically, yes, I'm aware of that." His eyes darken as I moisten my lips again. "But the emotionally shut-down man is protecting himself."
His laugh is harsh. "You don't know how wrong you are."
The last time Tobias stood this close with such intensity was the night of the Winter Ball. The time I scared him because I'd unearthed a secret, and both our guards dropped. I swear he almost kissed me that night as we sank into a place that we’ve never found our way back out of.
The same place as now. I'm transfixed by Tobias, even though I don't sense him in my head. He drops my hair and his fingertips gently rest against my cheek. Heat sparks and rushes across my skin and along my body. Tobias's face is close, and his clean scent takes me back to the identical moment at the Winter Ball.
"You want to know who I am?" he whispers, his lips close enough that his breath strokes my skin. "You want to understand my emotions? Open me up? I'm not Andrei."
"I know." I'm a heartbeat away from pressing my mouth against his. "He's an open book compared to you."
"I’m not emotionally shut down, Maeve. I’m avoiding a situation which will lead to consequences for both of us,” he says softly.
“Because you’re my professor?”
The light buzz in my body intensifies as he gently touches my cheek, bemusement on his face. “Do you think something as minor as that would stop me?”
I swallow. “Because you’re dangerous.”
The heat in his gaze intensifies as we stand on the edge we’ve almost fallen from before. “You know I am.”
“But not to me.”
“No.” Tobias slides his hand beneath my hair, palm against the base of my neck, and the simple touch snatches my breath. “But what if kissing you changes everything?”
"I don't care." I trail a finger across his lips, pulse haywire at the idea he might finally put them on mine, but my hope sinks when he takes my wrist and moves my hand away.
His fingers remain curled around my wrist as desire and need on a scale I've never felt broadcasts between us. Neither of us moves as we stand in silent stalemate with lips almost touching.
“I don’t care, Tobias,” I repeat, voice thick.
“I wish you hadn’t said that.” Tobias's grip on my neck grows tighter and he pulls my head towards him until finally his lips meet mine.
Chapter Seven
MAEVE
My head fills with a blinding myriad of colour, the magic buzzing through my brain as if someone electrocuted me. I grasp onto him, desperate for his lips to stay on mine. The euphoria shakes through my body, more encompassing than the time he held me. But there’s something more than the overwhelming physical desire created by his mouth moving softly against mine.
I feel him.
I feel Tobias's anger and sorrow, the pain he buries and the love for me he spends his life fighting. Every single one of these emotions touches me as if I’m experiencing them myself. With each second we’re connected, our minds and bodies meld the way our magical energy does.
I grip Tobias’s hair and our kiss becomes deeper, the arousal growing as he holds me to him. We’re fully clothed but the sensations are as intense as the time he held me before, and now we’re kissing, I’m ready to combust at any second.
Tobias backs towards the door and leans heavily against the wood, not taking his hands or mouth off mine for a moment. The colours in my head intensify and explode around me as I reach out to touch.
His mind is open and images of me from the months he’s known me flash across his mind. His frustration with my behaviour overridden by his desire to reach out to me. The warmth that spread through and confused him when he watched me relax with my friends. I see myself in class, intently listening as I watch him teach, and sense his struggle to stay focused.
I witness the night he wiped my memories when the hunters died, how his panic led to the situation and his guilt over his actions helped keep him away from me.
But his current thoughts are closely guarded.
I tremble as he continues to kiss me, one hand pressed into the small of my back and the other still curled around my neck. The magic flows from his fingers and the touch could be anywhere on my skin, smothering me with arousal and desire.
He holds my shaking body closer to his and the urgency in his passion grows. In my mind, I fall further into the maelstrom where our physical, magical, and emotional selves meld together. Intense pleasure rushes through me as I hit the centre, consumed absolutely by him.
Tobias pulls away from the turbulence threatening to drag him under too and moves his mouth from mine. We remain pressed together, Tobias as shaken by desire as I am. I take a shuddering breath as I meet his eyes.
Something new reflects in them. For weeks now, I’ve read his thoughts, and the physical pull began the day we met. Only recently have his emotions become easier to detect, but this is more. Much more.
“I feel you.” I place my hand on his chest. “Everything. Right now, you’re fighting this because you’re worried.”
“You should worry too.” His voice is thick with want and he cups my cheek. “Do you understand how tightly this pulls us?”
“I don’t always experience your emotions. Not unless we touch or... kiss.”
He skims his thumb across my lips. “You know that’s changing. I don’t only hear your words in my mind, I’ve begun to experience your emotions. Do you?”
“Yes, a little like Jamie but magnified. I don’t understand. You’re not a witch. How could I have that bond with you?”
Tobias gently moves me away from him. “I thought it was impossible to meet a witch like you, but you're here. I thought I was safe and I’m not.”
“Why aren't you safe? I don’t want to hurt you.”
His eyes sadden. “Nobody who kills witches can walk away unscathed. I’m cursed.”
“I don’t understand. What curse?”
He touches my cheek and closes his eyes. "You. You’re the curse.” My stomach drops to my feet and all I can do is shake my head at him. “I denied you existed,” he says as if speaking to himself. “Even when I met you and the pull began, I tried to hide from the threat.”
Curses make no sense to me, but Tobias’s words implies he wishes I didn’t exist, and that cuts me. I move away. “Why am I a threat? You’re much stronger than me." My voice rises. “Explain what you mean—this is crazy!”
He pushes both hands through his hair and watches me warily. “You know what I am. What I did. I had a dark soul filled with the death I’d caused. I never cared for anybody but myself and believed I was invincible. Until I discovered I’m not. A dying witch cursed me—she told me I’d meet a witch with the same powers as she had, one who would have a grip on my heart, mind, and soul.” He takes a sharp breath. “My life will tie to hers, and the curse will destroy me the way I destroyed many lives.”
“How?” I ask hoarsely.
“Once the witch enters my life, mine will be over.”
I can barely grasp his words. “I don’t want to destroy you. Your life isn’t over.”
“Yes. It is. I’ll eith
er save your life and die, or I’ll kill you.” Reeling, I hold a hand over my mouth and shake my head. He reaches out. “But I will never hurt you. I am doing everything I can to keep you safe. That’s why I know what will happen to me now.”
“I don’t believe this,” I say, voice still hoarse. “This can’t be true.”
“It’s true. I knew the first day I saw you, and now I feel things I was incapable of before. You can tap into every part of me now, Maeve. I can’t ever hide from you. Not anymore.”
I reach out to his mind and he gives a small nod. Tobias came here to protect me. He put himself back in a place with people who could tempt him back to the past, but I don’t need to read his mind to know he doesn’t want this. I also don’t need to reach far inside to know that Tobias cares for me. He doesn’t care about the curse, but two emotions overwhelm him: love and fear for my life.
These emotions are his curses.
“I'm sorry," I whisper.
"I killed the witch who cursed me. I slaughtered her family, and I deserve this. I’m the one who’s sorry—sorry that you’re forced into this situation. I should’ve left the academy when you arrived."
Each time I'm reminded of Tobias's past, a sickness fills me because I'm frightened that deep in the dark soul he talks about, a part of him will never change.
"But you stayed," I say. "And now—why have you given in to the curse when you could’ve run?"
"I stopped fighting the future, Maeve."
"You're helping me because of a curse?" I ask in confusion.
Tobias tips my chin and his mouth touches mine, tugging me back to the place where we're one. The gentle kiss consumes me as much as his passion before, but this time his mental guard is down.
"I could've stayed away. I tried to stay away, which was easy when you frustrated me, but I've watched you change. The magic from the curse drew me in, but my attraction became more than a spell, and you know that's the truth."