by LJ Swallow
He curls his fingers around my hand. “Because I’ve denied this to myself. I didn't want to accept the curse is true.”
The energised space between us intensifies with his words, and everything we’ve held back since we walked into the room unshackles. My heart swells and beats faster as we look at each other.
Tobias moves my hand to kiss the palm and as his lips touch the skin I’m hit with a blinding light as intense as the shadows before.
“No!” Tobias shouts and recoils. “Maeve. Move the fuck away from me. Now.”
I falter, hurt by the vehement tone and his sudden switch in manner. He looks at me as if I’m abhorrent. “Tobias.”
“Your hand. You didn’t tell me he’d cut you.”
I glance at my palm. "I didn't realise." Nikolai nicked my palm with his blade, but never had a chance to push far before I stopped him. There’s barely a scratch but enough to have drawn blood. “It’s nothing.”
“Nothing?” He laughs and the sound is edged by panic. “Maeve. Your blood just touched my lips.”
The reality hits me and the calm that came over me for those few seconds evaporates at the wild fear in his eyes. “I have to leave.” Tobias appears by the door, moving with the vampire speed.
“No! Tobias! Don’t leave me alone in here.”
“I can’t stay in this room with you, Maeve.”
“Why?”
He places his hands on his head, elbows at right angles. “Your blood. The emotions you’re broadcasting at me. The attraction to you. I’ve spent months keeping control and I’m a heartbeat away from losing my grip.”
I take a shuddery breath because the truth needs telling. “I don’t care. Prove to me I’m more than a curse to you.”
“What are you asking?” He drops his arms. “Maeve. We kissed. That was enough.”
“You’re lying. You know the kiss was the start.”
Tobias rests his head on the door and looks at the ceiling. “Don’t. Just don’t. You are a step beyond temptation now. You’re a need. No.” He turns and takes hold of the handle.
In a bizarre reversal of the last time we were alone and argued, I’m the one to step forward and stop him. I grab Tobias’s wrist in an attempt to pull him away and he freezes. The fear in his eyes switches to something else.
Chapter Twenty-Three
TOBIAS
Returning to the Blackwood estate was a return to a past I’ve sealed in a box and buried in the recesses of my soul. Maeve doesn't understand. She can't begin to comprehend what would happen if I lose control. Before we arrived at this place, I could maintain the distance, even once the barrier created by Professor Whitlock crumbled. I could switch my focus away from Maeve to solving the problems the five of us face.
This distraction away from Maeve helped dampen the fire but never snuffed the flame. Each encounter. Every conversation. Any situation where we almost touched poured oil onto a fire ready to consume us both.
And now I’ve kissed her—the mistake I’ve ached to make with the result I expected. The kiss has destroyed my last hope that Maeve isn’t my cursed future.
Her kiss has destroyed me.
I denied who Maeve is. Over the years, I’ve convinced myself the curse doesn’t exist; that the witch I killed planted a fear she hoped would follow me for life. I met Maeve’s aunt once, aware she’s the only witch with future-sighted powers. My worry I’d be tied to a woman twenty years older than me was for nothing and I walked away reassured.
And then Maeve arrived.
I knew from the first time our eyes met that Maeve was the witch who would end my life.
Or that I would end hers.
Now the part of me that craved her kiss whispers to me: what difference would taking another step make?
What difference? I'm cursed to lose control and could kill us both. I have the opportunity for a clean-cut death when I save Maeve, or torture until I die if I yield to my desires, lose control, and end her life.
When I saw Maeve with Nikolai, her emotions lit up my environment like a floodlight, and they haven't settled. Once she calms, the energy that feeds my pneuma and drives my lamia to distraction will drop away. But she's not calming. At all. And I'm making this worse.
Add to this how fucking gorgeous she looks, as alluring as the night at the Winter Ball, and I'm screwed. She's close, her fragrant hair and the scent of her warm blood speeding through her veins beckoning me.
Her blood.
I tasted Maeve's blood. If I stay in this room, the monster could emerge, and I know exactly what he would do to Maeve.
Why the hell didn't I detect the blood? A scratch to her may as well be a gaping wound to me, and the speck that touched my lips enough to remind me how witch blood tastes.
I sense Maeve's heart beat faster, see the uncertainty in her eyes, but also desire in her parted lips and flushed cheeks.
The fateful chain that links us coils around, tighter and tighter, until I’m immobile. The situation is inevitable and inescapable but has also chosen the worst time take hold.
The danger fuels the atmosphere, sparking more fuel for the flames.
Tobias, don't leave. We need to stay together.
The words cross mentally between us and she tugs my hand away from the door handle. The magic from her prickles like static and raises the hairs on my arm as her energy meets mine. I’m aware of nothing but the heat from her fingers around my wrist. Can she feel my blood pulsing, the way I can hear hers? The intensity created by a simple touch is greater to me than anything I’ve experienced in the past—and I spent years chasing highs that cost people their lives.
Maeve's eyes plead with me, but not only to stay. She should never have told me she wants this too, because Maeve still doesn’t understand. I'm surrounded by the Blackwoods' dark magic, and the old Tobias is with me, struggling to break through.
And he's never clawed so strongly at my resolve as he does now.
Does Maeve yield because she's weakened by my powers?
Or does she genuinely want me?
Maeve's trembling fingers touch my lips. “Tobias.”
Another surge hits and the dam breaks. I roughly pull Maeve towards me and seal my mouth over hers. As I slam her against the door, she makes a breathy noise at the force. Pinning her with my hips, I continue my devouring kiss, tasting the sweetness I craved for months.
The ferocity takes over and I'm beyond registering the danger waiting for us outside this room tonight. The Tobias I hide nudges me, urging me on, and Maeve's enthusiasm doesn't help.
I press my lips against her naked shoulder and attempt to pull back, but that's impossible now. Her skin against mine is beyond an intimate warmth. The sensation electrifies, sending shock after shock to my brain, and closes down my rationality.
Maeve pushes hands beneath my shirt and her thoughts and desires hit mine head on. She wants us skin on skin and pictures her breasts pressed against my naked chest. If a girl whispered this to a guy, his control would loosen. To see this clearly in Maeve’s mind, on top of whatever the hell the curse created between us, guarantees we're not going back.
I pull my mouth from hers and drag my shirt over my head, barely aware of the sound of Maeve unzipping the back of her dress. Her pulse races and intensifies the heat spreading across her pink skin. The dress falls to the floor and she pushes herself against me.
My lust for her goes through the fucking roof as our bodies meet, kindling the magic that binds us as the intensity reaches a height I’d never imagined. My mind shatters, and the man I lock away steps through the fragments and takes hold.
She’s weak in my arms, unable to deal with the power created between us, but her kiss doesn’t stop. Maeve’s hands splay across my back as she holds me to her and pulse after pulse of energy drives her Tobias away.
I want Maeve in a way I’ve never wanted anything before. The greatest high and ultimate pleasure sing out to me with every second our bare skin touches.
The scen
t from her blood intensifies and conspires with the man emerging and against me. How can I focus on control when every single part of the hybrid I am is crazed by her—her emotions, the arousal, and her blood?
Each day with Maeve pulls me between heaven and hell—the girl is my salvation and my downfall.
I pull her leg against my hip and press harder into her, the bruising kiss continuing. She makes a soft sound as I lift her, and she wraps her legs around my waist. The bed is a few steps away and I spin around and drop her onto it, immediately covering her body with mine.
Maeve’s softness and heat drives me forward, and when she clutches me to her, the lust takes on a new ferocity. My hands explore every inch of her, spurred on by the insane pleasure already coursing through me, and her responses. Maeve grips my hair, meeting my passion as she chases a need of her own. My touch becomes harsher and grip tighter as I replace my hands with my mouth, teasing her towards losing every awareness of where she is so I can take what I want. The taste of her blood triggered the lust for more, to feed on her as I make her mine.
“Tobias,” she breathes out.
Not responding, I close my fingers around the back of her neck, holding her still as my mouth claims hers again. The bright colours that crossed my mind when we kissed earlier aren’t with me now. The world inside my head is slick with red and my senses focus on chasing that high. Maeve sinks back again as I nudge her legs apart with my knee and slide my hand along her inner thigh.
I feed on the pleasure bursting from Maeve, consuming her emotions and moving closer to everything I’ve tried to never think about. Her wrists fit easily in one of my hands as I hold them above her head. Sliding my mouth from hers, I kiss and nip her skin down to her neck. My lips touch her pulse point beating fast, the song I’ve always heard now deafening me.
But I have enough control to pause. To breathe and try to take my shaking body away from what I’m aching to do. Maeve pulls against my grip and says my name again while I drown in the lust flowing in my mind.
Stop. Focus on Maeve. On control.
I inhale, focusing on finding the man who loves her. The one who wants tenderness. An emotion seeps through from her—one I detected when searching the house earlier.
Anxiety bordering on fear.
Shit.
I release Maeve’s wrists and still my hand, pulling my face away to look down at her. She looks back wide-eyed, chest moving rapidly. She tries to hide the thoughts, but I hear them. He’s scaring me.
Her inner voice breaks through the instinctive need controlling me, and I pull myself away from her to drag myself away from the place I almost went. She sits and reaches out to me, lost in her own shaking need.
“No, Maeve,” I say and step back.
Hurt flickers across her eyes but her expression begs me to come back to her.
How much does this curse influence Maeve too? Would she give herself to me with no regard for her safety?
I’m on the precipice of changing my life and ending hers.
And I don’t know if I can stop myself falling.
Chapter Twenty-Four
ANDREI
Alaric may've been an arsehole about me joining the rescue mission, but at least he isn't delaying. Within half an hour, we're on our way back to the estate's edge. Izzy accompanies us in a smaller car. Don't they trust us? We've figured out this is an operation centre of sorts, but they're being careful what they tell us. Can—and will—Amelia she tell us more?
I step out of the car too and glimpse the Blackwood mansion through gaps in the trees. Clouds obscure the moon and stars this evening—a blessing and a curse because this gives us cover, but the witches and shifters will rely on witch light. My vision is fine. Jamie appears beside me with a rucksack over his shoulder. He refuses to hand over the grimoire to anybody, and my suspicion why grows. I voiced my concern to Alaric, who nodded and said he'd keep an eye on him if we came across any Blackwoods.
I bloody hope we don't.
I haven't stopped feeling sick since I saw the bloodied photo of Maeve. My imagination runs wild, picturing what they might do to her. I know more about the Blackwoods, thanks to my mother. I never witnessed anything, but I heard discussions about things they'd done or planned to.
Sick discussions.
Ash strides past to the edge of the trees and rests against a thick tree trunk, silently staring ahead. The images stuck with him too.
In my heart and soul, I don't believe they've injured Maeve badly. How could they train her if she's weak?
We're close to where the spell landed us and I'm still queasy from that experience. At least it didn't backfire, and I have all my limbs. There's cover from the tall trees that obscure us, the ground covered in sticks and grassy weeds. I can sense the night drawing to a close even though the dawn skies haven't appeared yet.
Izzy sits cross-legged on the ground with a small ceramic bowl in front of her. She's between the car and the place Alaric senses the barrier is, but still hidden. Her long hair is pressed against her face by the beanie, her delicate fingers working deftly to add torn paper to bowl. She pulls a vial from her pocket and opens it with her teeth, then sprinkles the powder into her bowl. A scrying spell by a witch who doesn't have spirit energy. Alaric holds witch light in the palm of his hand allowing Izzy enough light for her spell, his figure hidden by his dark clothes and the shadow from the tree canopies.
"Are we—" I begin, and Alaric flashes me a look.
"Shush," he says.
"Yeah, shut the hell up," mutters Izzy.
Spotting my indignant look, Alaric guides me away from Izzy. "She's contacting Anton. Izzy needs to stay focused on the spell."
"Are they bonded?" asks Jamie as he joins us.
Alaric nods. "We use bonded witches in situations where we need to infiltrate. The ones who can communicate, anyway."
Jamie gapes. "You use them?"
He scowls. "No, they want to help. We don't strong-arm people into helping us. Be grateful—Anton met Maeve and told Izzy she's safe but threatened."
"And Tobias?" I ask.
"Anton isn't clear on Tobias. He hasn't seen the pair together."
"Shit," mutters Jamie.
"He'll help her," I say firmly. "He's a good man."
"How much do you know about Tobias, Andrei?" asks Alaric.
Not this again. "Enough. Yeah, I know he killed witches."
"And was under Dominion influence. There are powerful magical blocks in his head, but he's now around people who may attempt to remove them."
I drag a hand through my hair and look at a severe-faced Jamie. Tobias wouldn't fall.
Ash ambles over. "What's happening? What's the plan?"
"We're waiting for more information from Anton inside." Alaric jerks his head to the witch. "Izzy is speaking to him."
Izzy now has her eyes closed and a small blue flame flickers in the bowl.
"We need to leave the grimoire somewhere, Jamie," says Alaric. "The book might be detected like your pendant was."
"No," he says sharply and clutches the rucksack strap. "Someone else could take it."
"I say we burn the bloody thing," says Ash.
"Flames won't destroy the Blackwood grimoire," says Alaric.
I blow air into my cheeks and stare back at the house. We have some knowledge to help and I hope this is enough. The place is protected by a magic barrier, which means they've the confidence to leave using patrols. Anton already gave the group information, via Izzy, on the grounds layout, which is why Alaric selected the woods close to the barrier between here and the lake.
From here, I can see the banks but not the water. Behind, a lawn slopes upwards and disappears into the dark towards the house.
"Why a lake?" I ask Alaric. "Isn't that one more obstacle for Maeve and Tobias?"
"Izzy and Anton are elemental witches."
"Water is easy for us to manipulate, if we need to." Izzy stands and joins us.
Alaric straightens and his heavy-
set jaw tenses. "Did you contact Anton?"
"Yeah. Things aren't looking good."
"Why?" Ash steps towards her. "What's happened?"
"Dude, back off," she snaps as Ash grabs his arm. "Do you want our help or not?"
Muttering an apology, Ash steps away and walks back to his vantage point by the tree.
Earlier, I suspiciously asked why the group were keen on helping free Maeve from the house and was treated with scorn. A potent witch taken by the Blackwoods? Not a good situation. I considered this as Ash grilled them about Vince, and Jamie sat quietly in his own thoughts. Even so, these people and their mysterious organisation must have a motive.
If Amelia weren't involved with the group, I would've backed away from them.
But Alaric and friends are our only chance.
Izzy rests against her car bonnet and scratches an eyebrow. "Anton met Maeve at a gathering with Gabriella. Nikolai took a special interest in her."
My stomach lurches at my mother's name but the other comment chills me. "What special interest?"
She looks at me and her expression answers my question.
"Has he done something?" I ask breathlessly. "What? Is she hurt?"
"No. Anton followed Maeve when she left the gathering with Nikolai, in case she needed help." She nods at Alaric. "There's no doubt that Tobias is on our side. He killed Nikolai."
Alaric drops his well-practiced composure. "What the actual fuck?"
"Anton doesn't know why. He only saw Tobias drag the body away to hide before taking Maeve somewhere."
"Tobias killed a Blackwood?" asks Jamie hoarsely. "How?"
"Like I said, Anton doesn't know." Izzy rubs a hand across her mouth, frowning in frustration. "Nobody but Anton has found Nikolai yet, but we don't have much time."
"Ash!" calls Jamie. "Come here!"
He rejoins us as Izzy continues. "Anton is in the process of checking if this plan is still the best way off the estate, considering the place is teeming with Dominion. Then he'll go to Maeve and Tobias."
"And then?" asks Ash.