by LJ Swallow
I swallow. "I'm okay. Jamie is the one who's hurt. Andrei too, but nowhere near as bad.”
"Someone told me you were downstairs with him." She arches a brow. "Sounds like I've missed a few developments. Spill."
The tension breaks as we sit on chairs around the table, old friends discussing our lives. "Andrei was burned. I wanted to make sure he was okay."
"By kissing him better?" Her lips purse as the amusement continues.
"That's exactly what he said. You're so predictable." I lightly slap her hand and we link fingers.
"I knew you liked him." She lowers her voice. "But what about Ash?"
"Uh." I look at our hands. "Where is he?"
“Sleeping. Stop changing the subject." Amelia's eyes shine. "Does Ash know about you and Andrei?”
"Everybody knows about me and Andrei, Amelia," I say with a sigh. "And yes, I know what I’m doing is wrong."
"What? Having two guys?" Her mouth tips into a smile.
"Amelia! I don't have two guys."
She chuckles. “Oh? Do you have three?" As I look the other way, she gasps. "Maeve! Who? Jamie?"
"It's not what you think," I say quietly. "I just..." How do I explain that this isn't a sordid situation; that something about each guy offers me something I need? "Why are you shocked? Witches have more than one consort sometimes. Jamie told me."
"Oh, I'm more shocked that you'd do this and with such different guys." She squeezes my hand. "I'm teasing, not judging."
I pull a face. "You're deflecting from yourself. What happened to you? I'm mad you didn't contact me."
Amelia rubs her forehead with her free hand. "I couldn't. I just couldn't. Contacting you would've been more dangerous for me—us."
I sit back in the seat and cross my arms. "I'm still mad."
"Ha! You're the one who kept a secret for almost a whole term. You can't criticise me."
"Fair enough,” I mutter. “Well, you’re here now. I expect we'll head back to the academy tonight. Will you be okay leaving Matt?"
She blinks rapidly. "Maeve. I'm not coming back."
“What? You need to."
"No." She's firm as she places her hands on the table. "Matt's still in hiding and I'm staying with him and these guys."
"Amelia..." My heart speeds, but I can't blame her. I'd react in the same way if the situation was reversed. "Who are these people?"
"They don't exist."
"They obviously do."
"Nobody knows about us. Yet. We want to keep things that way. Alaric doesn't work for either side. We deal with both Confederacy and Dominion threats.”
We? "Is that where Matt is?"
She nods. "He'll be back tomorrow. Matt's with one of the hunters, chasing up a lead."
"Hunters? But witches don’t work with hunters. That makes no sense."
"Nothing ever does, does it?" She gives a weak smile and places her hand over mine again. "I promise I'll be in touch soon."
My stomach sinks into my shoes. When I heard Amelia was part of the group, I'd presumed they'd helped her too and she'd return with us. But how would that be possible?
There's something different about Amelia, too. She's more forceful, sure of her decisions, which I like, but her eyes have lost some of the trust she always had in the world. What happened?
"Oh! I have Jamie's backpack in my room. I'll grab that for you now." She springs to her feet.
"Have you heard any more from the hospital?” I ask, almost too scared to hear the answer.
She beams. "Yes. He’s improving. No serious damage. I heard you helped save his life. Have you learned to control your magic?"
"Partly."
"Must've felt weird being in a vampire's head. What was that like?" she asks curiously.
"Different." And something I never want to repeat again.
Satisfied with my short responses, Amelia walks from the room with the usual bounce in her step. I smile—at least she's our Amelia under all this.
Where's everybody else? I'm too uncomfortable to find something to eat, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I had a glass of water.
I find a tumbler glass on the drainer and pour water from the tap. The sink is filled with empty mugs and teaspoons, with a few plates covered in crumbs. I once visited a friend's shared house close to the university where she studied, and this place reminds me of her home. Sipping the water, I replace encroaching thoughts about my last two days with homelife memories. I picture my room, my old school, the coffee shop I'd visit with Tessa. But I don't want to be there—they feel like the distant past.
"Did you rest, Maeve?" I turn to Tobias's voice suddenly behind me.
He's still dressed in the dinner suit he wore to the gathering, hair uncombed and face peppered by stubble. "You look like you've spent all day and night partying."
He half-smiles at me. "If only. I'd like to leave as soon as Andrei wakes."
"He's keen to leave too, and I expect Ash is." His presence unnerves me. Since Tobias walked in the room, I've a stark reminder of everything that happened.
I take a deep breath and turn away, drinking from my glass with an unsteady hand. We were trapped in a nightmare, and at times I doubted I'd leave.
Tobias doesn't speak. He doesn’t need to; we've had the conversation. He wants to stay away but I'm unsure how my heart will deal with that.
"I'm sorry, Maeve. For everything that happened to you at the Blackwood house.”
I place the glass on the counter and slowly turn, gripping the counter behind me. "Everything?"
His eyes burn into mine. Neither of us need to elaborate what I’m hinting at.
“Yes."
I take a shuddery breath and look at the unswept floor. "Okay."
Tobias doesn't move, and the energy he's projecting dizzies me. More keenly than ever, I feel his confusion and stress; his held-back need to reach out.
No. He isn’t allowed to call all the shots. I wait for him to step back as I move towards him, but he remains still as I reach out to rub the back of my hand along the day's growth on his face. "Suits you," I say with a small smile.
Tobias takes my fingers from his face and holds my hand a few seconds more than normal, the familiar tingle spreading from his fingers along my arm.
"We have a lot to untangle. I'll need to speak to my Confederacy employees tomorrow, before they hear about the death from another source,” he says. "I don't want you to say anything until we have a chance to sit down with the others, and definitely don't speak to anybody outside our group."
I nod, wishing he'd let go of my hand but also hoping he holds me too. "I agree. Will you be in a lot of trouble?"
I cringe at myself as his solemn expression changes with a smile. "I've been in much worse trouble in the past. I'll be fine."
"Until the Blackwoods find you." My voice cracks with my real fear, and he squeezes my hand tight as my hand shakes.
All I want is for him to hug me—tell me everything will work out. That we will work out.
Do my thoughts reach Tobias? Because he briefly hugs me to him, whispering his apology against my hair again. I only have seconds to hold him because he withdraws as quickly as he took hold.
He knows the same truth I do: things will never go back to how they were. With a sad smile, he touches my face. “I’m here if you need me.”
I drop my eyes to the floor again as he turns away.
"Hello, Amelia," he says.
What?
I jerk my head up as Tobias unblocks my view of the doorway, where Amelia stands, rucksack in hand and with a stunned expression. She doesn't reply, just stares at Tobias as he walks by before turning her shocked look my way.
I scrunch my face up, clueless how she'll react. Amelia approaches and sets the rucksack on the counter beside me, biting her lip.
"Go on. Say what you think," I tell her.
"I think four guys is a little greedy, Maeve. I mean, Professor Whitlock... Katherine will claw your eyes out!" Amelia chuckle
s at me.
"You know that he's Tobias to me, not Professor Whitlock. To us all. Ugh. Things are complicated."
"Uh huh." She gives a sly smile and then grabs me in a bear hug. "But now I know all the guys will take care of you, I'm not as worried."
"I wish you were coming with us. I miss you and want you safe, too."
We stand together, the girl who once thought she was human and the witch who once doubted herself, giving each other the affection and understanding we did when we were simply roommates. The two who planned their dresses for the Winter Ball and dealt with the craziness together.
Maybe one day we'll find those two girls again.
Chapter Thirty-Four
MAEVE
For the first time in my life, I have nightmares. I’m running through the hallways of the Blackwood mansion, but they stretch forever. I can see my friends at the end, but however far I run, they never come any closer. I call out, but the only sound is a heartbeat, slow and steady, which grows in volume as the dream continues. The walls narrow and begin to close in, touching my shoulders and suffocating me until I’m enveloped in darkness. I wake covered in perspiration and listening to my heartbeat. Mine wasn't the one I heard—too rapid and too quiet.
I'm consoled by the thought that an unrealistic nightmare can't be a vision.
How far has the Blackwood magic spread into my soul? I feel sick when I think about Nikolai's death—how my anger turned to murder. Yes, I chose to defend myself, and although I didn't kill him, I almost did. I'm scared how far the dark magic would've pushed me if Tobias hadn't interrupted. Would I have killed Nikolai if I’d been alone?
Now Tobias is taking the blame for something we both did.
I returned to the academy under cover of darkness last night, and I hate how we always sneak back. Theodora wants normality, as she always does, but how is that possible with the conflict between houses?
Only two of us are at the academy this morning. Jamie is in hospital, recovering well but under observation. Tobias returned to those he works for at the Confederacy to explain events before news spreads about the Blackwoods. The moment we arrived here last night, somebody collected Andrei and took him home. His family has questions about Andrei’s encounter with his mother.
This leaves me and Ash, and the worry I'll be taken for questioning too.
I sit on the edge of the bed and stare at Amelia's empty one. Why didn't she come back? I know the answer. Amelia has a new role now and if she walks away, she could lose Matt again. This won't be the last we hear from the gang, I'm sure of that, but for now we need to figure out what's happening inside the academy.
I pull out my phone and text Ash. I can't be alone.
Chapter Thirty-Five
MAEVE
Showered and dressed, I meet Ash outside the building and close to the freshly mown lawns. He looks as weary as me but attempts to hide this behind a smile. Dressed in his Gilgamesh rugby top and the jeans he almost always wears, Ash's appearance helps bring normality to the day. This Ash is the one I held onto in my mind when at the Blackwood house; the guy whose powerful figure offers comfort and protection. He has a rucksack over one of his broad shoulders and he leans forward to gently place his lips on mine. I hold him tight, as if he might disappear too.
"Are you hungry?" he says, close to my ear.
"A little."
"Good. I have breakfast in here. I thought we could have a picnic."
"A picnic?"
"Shifters have picnics too, you know," he teases as he notices my surprised expression.
"I'm sure, but we've never had a picnic before."
"Yes, but I think we should do something different and try to forget everything for a couple of hours. Come on." He winds an arm around my shoulders and guides me towards the lawns.
Sunshine fills the spring day—summer might actually reach this gloomy part of the world. Daisies spring through the uncut lawns, and the white blossoms on the trees lining the academy drive add a soft fragrance. As ever, I'm filled with unease as I sense people talking about me. I meet the eyes of a group of Walcott girls, challenging them as they whisper to each other.
"I don't want to sit anywhere people can see me," I mutter. "I'm drained. I can't cope with anymore right now."
"Understood." He kisses the top of my head. "There are private places around the grounds."
I arch a brow at him. "Private places you take girls, Ash?"
When he looks flustered and denies everything, I laugh and poke him in the side.
We reach the woods at the edge of the academy and step into a world dappled by sun filtering through the canopies, the smell of lawn and daisies replaced with the mingled scent of tree bark and wildflowers. Ash finds us a flat spot beneath tall trees and sets down his rucksack. I look on in surprise as he wipes sticks to one side with his hand and pulls a checked green and blue blanket from his bag.
"You are a professional," I say with a smile.
"Sit." He gestures at the blanket he spreads on the ground.
Impressed and a little bemused, I watch him take items from his bag. Muffins. Donuts. A bottle of orange juice. "No coffee?" I tease and nudge him.
He pokes his tongue out. "But your favourite breakfast foods."
I can't argue. Every day I vow to eat a healthy breakfast, but a sugar hit and coffee always wins.
We sit together, cross-legged on the blanket, and share the food. Ash eats a larger share, which doesn't surprise me, and I don't mind because my appetite isn't huge today. As I eat the donut, I lick my lips and relish the sugary taste, but a different flavour fills my mouth and replaces the sweetness.
Metallic.
Blood.
My mouth doesn't hurt, and I'd know if I'd bitten my lip.
I hold the half-chewed piece in my mouth. I'm imagining things.
"Are you alright?" Ash asks.
I swallow. "Just bad memories."
Shuffling closer, Ash hugs me to his chest. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"
"Sometime soon. Let's enjoy the morning." I look up at him and he runs his finger along my nose before placing his lips on mine. He tastes of donuts and orange juice; I wrap my arms around his neck, enjoying the slow, lingering kiss. For once, there's nothing around to disturb our peace and I can be in the moment with Ash, away from the threats that constantly shadow me.
But they're never far.
"Did you hear from Jamie?" he asks.
"Yes. He said he'll be back at the academy tomorrow."
"So soon?" Ash's lips purse. "Is he strong enough?"
"You know Jamie—he can’t bare to miss class."
"Yeah, and nobody will miss the huge bite mark on his neck,” he says semi-sarcastically.
I pull apart my chocolate muffin and eat. I hadn't considered how people will respond to Jamie's wound. "Andrei is back tomorrow too, but I'm not sure about Tobias."
Ash cocks his head. “Tobias was weird after we found you. Not himself."
"We'd had a traumatic time, Ash."
“I’ve never seen Tobias freaked out though. He's usually calm—or pretends he is. What happened?” Instead of answering, I reach out and brush a crumb from Ash’s cheek. "Did something happen to you, Maeve?’
I know everybody wants to hear our story, but I agreed with Tobias that we'd tell the story when we're all together. "We're both fine. Honest."
His brow pinches as he takes a drink; I have to tell Ash something or spoil our morning.
"Things happened, Ash, but nothing serious to either of us and we escaped quickly, thanks to you guys.” I give him a brief run-down of events, leaving out anything that would freak him out. Like murder.
We fall into silence, Ash rubbing a thumb over the back of my hand. He still has a cut on the side of his head, almost healed thanks to his shifter blood, but a reminder of Vincent's harsh attack.
“Where do you think Vincent is?” I ask cautiously.
“Far away, I hope.” His jaw sets hard. “I
hope the Confederacy finds him.”
“But if he’s created by the Dominion, they could’ve taken him that night at the farmhouse.” I hate to say the words and remind Ash of the truth about his brother, but they need to be spoken.
“Yeah. At least the Confederacy know now and can stop him returning to the academy. The damage is done, though. Clive and the others... they don’t look the same, and walk around preaching Vince's words like he's a cult leader.”
“Not all Gilgamesh will listen to them. Don't worry."
He shakes his head. “After Katherine’s stunt the other day, tensions between the two houses picked up.”
“Why? What did she do?”
"Oh. You don't know." His lips tug into a smile as he tells me the story.
“I wish I’d seen,” I say and laugh for the first time in days.
Ash chuckles. “We shouldn’t laugh. She caused trouble.”
“I know, but I'm imagining everything." Laughter continues to bubble up and I flop back on the blanket. The tension from the last few days breaks as I'm overcome and unable to stop. “He did deserve that, though I’m glad I didn’t see his arse,” I gasp out between giggles.
Ash leans over me and strokes my hair. “Katherine took a photo if you want to see.”
“Omigod! Really? Don't, you're going to make me cry.” I wipe at my eyes. When was the last time something made me laugh this much? I feel terrible this is at somebody else's expense, but my body's need to let go of the stress overwhelms me.
He touches my nose. “It’s great to see you smile, Maeve.”
Reaching up, I hook my arms around Ash’s neck and pull him forward until his face is close to mine. “We need more fun and less stress.” Tugging him closer, my lips meet his and I urge him into a hard kiss. Ash delves his tongue into my mouth, snatching my breath, and I slide my tongue to meet his and as the intensity of our kiss grows. He makes a low sound in his throat and I love that I'm tapping into the passionate Ash beneath the guy who's treating me with tenderness. I curl my fingers into his short hair and press myself into him, not wanting this over any time soon.