by LJ Swallow
"And that's the only thing that has stayed with you since we escaped the Blackwoods. No magical impulses? Dark thoughts?"
“Just the nightmares and blood.”
Somebody raps on the door and I sidestep Tobias to look around. Jamie and Ash walk in, Ash rushing forward to take my face in both hands. "How are you? What happened?"
"I passed out. Don't worry."
Jamie stands at his shoulder with a stony expression. Has he told Ash I connected minds with Andrei before I fell to the floor? "I'm surprised Andrei isn't here," he says and meets my gaze.
"Andrei was called to Theodora's office," puts in Tobias quickly and saves me from attempting an answer from the mess in my head.
"Oh?" Jamie's suspicion doesn't drop.
"We should take you back to Walcott. You need to rest. I knew returning to lessons would be too much for you." Ash presses his lips against my forehead in the soothing spot between my eyes.
"Ash, I've dealt with more than fainting in the last few days. Let me carry on with my evening's lessons." I smile reassuringly and touch his lips. "We have Potions. You and Jamie can keep an eye on me."
"Maeve is right. Perhaps you should all leave," says Tobias stiffly, and he turns to his desk. "I have matters to attend to."
I link my arm through Ash's. "Come on. I want to see if Katherine pulls another stunt."
"She's banned from Potions," says Tobias.
"Aren't we going to tell Tobias about Amelia?” asks Jamie. “And what I found in the book?”
“Amelia?” Tobias stiffens. “Is she alright?”
Thankfully, this shifts the conversation and Tobias’s energy in a new direction as we outline events. Tobias remains silent throughout both stories, pulling on his bottom lip.
“The cellars aren’t an issue; I can take us down. But Amelia... I’m uneasy with her situation and why Alaric wants a closer connection to us.”
Jamie rubs his cheek. "At least we can stay in touch with her this way."
"We’ll talk later. Time for class." Tobias suddenly pulls on his Professor Whitlock guise, instructing pupils and shutting down dissent. But instead, I sense unease, despite him cleverly blocking his thoughts from me.
The events last week have further reaching effects than any of us realise.
Chapter Forty-Eight
MAEVE
I'm unable to focus in Potions. Andrei isn’t here. Jamie doesn't comment but he's back to asking if I'm alright. Ash struggles with his Potion of Luck, which fortunately distracts Jamie as he helps out.
"I bet this one is for the last challenge," says Jamie as he holds up the bright green liquid. "Witches can infuse this with magic and heighten the effect—a great contribution to everybody to use."
The academy challenges. I’d forgotten all about them. “Is there another soon?” My heart rate kicks up a notch. I’m not only concerned something else will happen to me, but the animosity amongst students could turn this into a violent situation where rules are broken, and nobody cares. How would the professors deal with that?
“The last challenge is delayed due to Lorna’s death, but we should’ve started by now. There’s an announcement next week,” says Jamie. “Usually the last challenge involves the houses attempting each others’ skills.”
I frown. “How? Witches aren’t strong enough to emulate shifters.”
“But we have magic to heighten physical prowess.” He holds up the potion again.
"Shit!" Ash spills the elixir again and wipes at the mess with his blazer sleeve. "Good thing Gilgamesh have other skills to offer too."
"Don't the academy staff worry about strong potions? Isn’t using luck potions cheating? This sounds like something that could cause trouble," I ask.
Jamie laughs softly. "The whole situation will cause trouble."
The students sit around the class, some focusing on mixing the ingredients into vials and others staring into space. Katherine's empty seat stands out, and the room is quieter without her interruptions and opinions. Clive and Remi sit with their massive forearms resting on the table beside discarded glass vials and spilled ingredients. Without potion or mental magic skills, how do shifters fare in the games?
Once the lesson finishes, I climb from my stool and follow Ash and Jamie from the room. Yvette blocks my way.
"Why did you pass out?" she demands. "What did Andrei do?"
"I had a busy weekend and I think I'm getting the flu." I sidestep her and she matches my move. "Excuse me."
"Did Andrei attack Jamie? We saw the mark on his neck." Her eyes narrow.
"That's not a bite."
She scoffs at me and her laugh draws attention. "Sure, it isn't."
"I caused the mark."
Her laughter abruptly halts, and she flicks a look the length of me. "You bit Jamie."
"I uh... got carried away. You know. Making out." Oh hell, where did this lame excuse come from?
Yvette's lip curls in disdain and she lowers her voice. "I know you're lying, Maeve. I've told you before; I won't rest until Andrei gets what he deserves."
I can't respond because she stalks away with her friends, muttering to them. As she moves, she reveals Andrei resting against the wall opposite the classroom. He's slumped down and staring at his shoes, his head tipped forward, hair flopping forwards, and I'm unable to see his eyes. My heart and stomach lurch. I'd expected Andrei to keep away and worried we'd struggle to deal with this if he withdrew from me. I’m happy he came back.
"Can I have a minute alone with Andrei?" I ask Ash and Jamie.
Jamie narrows his eyes as he looks between us and I wait for him to comment. Ash shrugs then gives me a brief kiss. "Sure. Let him know we need to get together when he's not in a bad mood."
Thankful Jamie doesn't mention anything to Ash, I walk over to the dejected Andrei. How do I broach this subject?
"You missed Potions," I say.
He peers at me from beneath his fringe. "I wasn't sure you'd want to talk to me after... that."
"I don't know what to think," I say quietly. "I'm shocked and we can't ignore the situation. But, you came to see me—I won’t ignore you."
"Believe me when I say I'd never do that to you." He pushes hair from his eyes and the vulnerability tugs away the newly built barricade against him.
"Then why show me that... image?"
I expect him to look away, but he holds my gaze, imploring. "I don't know. I don't want that—never once thought about hurting you—but something in my mind took over."
Those words send an icy chill along my spine. If his mind takes over in a fantasy, what would happen in reality? "I need to be honest—right now, I'm scared of you, Andrei. You always promised you wouldn't attack me, but now… What if that side of you is too strong?"
"No. Maeve." He straightens to full height and shifts closer to me. "That's not true. I told you before, I keep control with you. I wish you understood how much."
I swallow. "I understand how much now, Andrei. What I saw—you were intense. Different." Frightening.
"But I'd never, ever hurt you." He curls a hand around my neck and rests his forehead against mine. "It would kill me if I did. Do you think I'd risk losing you? The girl who showed me I'm not that person?"
"Then why? Why imagine something so awful?"
"I don't know, and I wish I could take everything back." He sucks air through his teeth. "I've fucked up, haven't I? You'll never let me close again."
"You're close to me now."
"That's not what I mean." He moves his head and strokes my hair. "I can't imagine life distant from you again—not kissing or touching you. You don't understand how intense this relationship is for me. You’ve given me hope for the future. With you, I can turn my back on the Andrei everybody else thinks exists."
"Andrei..." I cup his cheek with my hand, and he takes hold. "I won't be distant from you and I'll try to forget what I saw, but I am cautious now."
“But you forgive me?”
“There’s
nothing to forgive.” I touch his lips.
"Then kiss me," he whispers.
"Here?" Students leaving classes pass by and the chatter in the hallway surrounds us.
"Here. I need to know you feel the same about me." His hands slide down my sides and he holds me in the small of my back.
"I do," I whisper. "Please don't beat yourself up about this."
Andrei's kiss is unusual for him—soft and hesitant—and as his lips move against mine, I try my hardest to forget what I saw. The images are too fresh in my mind; the fear still trickling through my veins. I do forgive him. I do love him. But am I safe?
Chapter Forty-Nine
ANDREI
What the fuck was I thinking?
Why the hell did I have those thoughts about Maeve?
I don't want to hurt Maeve and never once thought about drinking her blood.
As soon as he found me, Tobias hauled me to his office and gave me a mouthful about my behaviour. My protests meant nothing. Tobias tries to believe he can help me, but when I screw up like this, I don't blame him for the distrust.
What if I've screwed things up with Maeve completely?
Maeve told me I haven't, but she definitely held back when I kissed her.
The worst part? Now I doubt myself and my control again.
I stand at the small window in my room at the top of the Petrescu building and stare out at the empty grounds. In the past, I'd be out instead of sleeping—off campus and stalking people for fun. Half the time I was testing myself, the other half? Let's say temptation got the better of me. Nobody died and I made sure nobody remembered me taking what they offered me.
What a fucking idiot.
Last year, my grandfather shipped in the mysterious Professor Whitlock to keep an eye on me, and I had fewer nights out. These days? None.
More than anything, I want to believe that Andrei is dead and buried, but my mother and the incident in Mental Magic throws doubt on that.
Tobias found out about the phone and wants Maeve to give him it, but Maeve refused. He backs down more when they clash since—their time with the Blackwoods—because they don't want to stir strong emotions in each other? Or more?
I spotted Jamie looking at Maeve differently, the gooey-eyed look I've seen on Ash's face before; the one I lie to myself I don't have. I'd lay bets their date ended in an unexpected encounter as well. So much for Jamie's words to me that he was giving Maeve space.
Or did she kiss him?
Ha. These guys underestimate Maeve. She isn't the unsure and frightened girl Maeve was the day she arrived. This girl is strong and sure in all areas of her life even though she doubts herself sometimes. One guy will never be enough for Maeve and her magic to thrive.
Originally, I worried I'd be jealous, but this isn’t competition. We're becoming the family I've never had; we're not only strong for Maeve, but for each other too.
Who would've thought I’d find people like these?
The moonlight sneaks through the streaked grey clouds, and the sky looks the same as the night we helped Maeve and Tobias escape. The night I saw my mother, when she sharpened into focus that I'll never escape her, even by walking away.
I'm about to turn away, maybe hang out in the common room now Maeve is in bed, when something catches my eye. A figure walking from Walcott. At four a.m., most if not all Walcott kids are asleep. I hold my face closer to the glass and my eyesight allows me a closer look.
Maeve.
If she were headed to the main building—or Tobias's building—I wouldn't worry, but she isn't. Maeve walks in a slow diagonal line straight towards Petrescu. I smile to myself that she's on her way to see me; Maeve occasionally does, although not usually this late.
My smile evaporates when I see her more clearly. Maeve's barefoot and wears tiny shorts and a sleeveless top decorated with a moon and stars.
I blink. Maeve is walking towards Petrescu in her pyjamas. Shoeless. And she’s almost here.
Once I've shoved my feet into my heavy boots, I'm out of my room in a blur. I immediately slam into Sergei, a hemia kid who's had a grudge against me from day one.
"Watch where you're going, arsehole," he says and pushes me.
"I'm in a hurry."
His intense grey eyes and slicked-back black hair ensure he's another one who stands out around the academy, but he keeps himself with Petrescu only. Since he's hemia, no Walcott kids want to be near him, and Gilgamesh are dubious too. That's Sergei's beef with me—I'm a poster boy for vicious, bloodthirsty hemia, which isn’t good PR. Most hemia keep their appetites under control and don't like my reputation.
"Headed out to feed?" he sneers.
I glare. "I don't do that anymore."
Sergei closes the last part of personal space between us. "I hate to agree with witches, but you should've left the academy, Tepes."
I inwardly sigh. I'm sick to death of this bullshit. Sergei stumbles backwards as I shove hard with my shoulder and stride by. "I said, I'm in a hurry."
Bracing myself for him to grab me, I break into a run and almost trip over my laces.
Voices carry up the main stairs—including Maeve's. Maeve stands in the doorway, wild-eyed, hair mussed. No way would Maeve walk around the academy in pyjamas. What the hell is happening?
One of Katherine's crew stands at the bottom of the steps watching. The willowy dark-haired girl inclines her head. "I told you the witch was crazy. She doesn't have visions—she has mental issues."
"Shut the fuck up," I growl at her when I reach the bottom stair. She looks at me in alarm and steps sideways.
Several Petrescu kids are gathered with her and watch Maeve with amusement.
"I can hear it. Where is it?" Maeve asks in a panicked voice.
"What's 'it'?" asks a guy beside me.
Maeve holds her hands over both ears and shakes her head. "It's louder in here."
"What is?" Sergei appears beside me and crosses his arms, a sneer tugging his mouth up.
"The heartbeat!"
Katherine's friend looks at the guy beside Maeve and taps the side of her head, mouthing, "Crazy."
Reining in my temper, I shove my way past the gathered kids. "Maeve? What's happening?"
She blinks at me and then grabs my shirt to pull me to her. "Can't you hear the heartbeat?"
Her vacant expression scares me as much as the weird shit she’s saying. "No, I can't. Maybe you're panicking and can hear your heart?"
"No!" Her face pulls into annoyance and she drops her hold on my shirt. “I’m sure the heartbeat is in this building."
"Yeah, a few of us have hearts, sweetie," says the girl.
"No, no, no." Maeve grips her hair and turns in a circle. "Louder. Loudest in this building."
I attempt to take Maeve around the shoulders to move her away, but she lashes out at me. "I have to find the noise; I need to know where the sound comes from."
"Umm. In your head?" says Sergei with a laugh.
"Is she sleepwalking?" asks Katherine's friend, her green eyes wide. "Or did you upset her, and she left your room?"
"She wasn't with me!" I hold Maeve's cheeks and force her to look at me. "Maeve. Listen to me. Wake up."
"I am awake," she retorts.
"Then where are you?"
Maeve pulls my hands away. "In Petrescu. Looking for the thing."
Katherine's friend snickers and if she weren't a girl, I'd be tempted to slap her. "The thing, sweetie? That's not a nice way to talk about Andrei."
"Will you all just fuck off!" I turn and yell, my voice reverberating in the hallway. "Let me deal with Maeve. She's distressed."
Sergei pulls on his lip and nods behind me. "She's leaving."
Spinning around, I see Maeve walking along the hallway, banging on the walls and pressing her ear to the flock wallpaper in places. The snickering and whispering behind me grows. I could turn and tell them to fuck off again, but what if Maeve disappears?
"Somebody find Tobias," I demand. "He's house
head; he needs to know."
A familiar blonde head appears, dressed in black silk pyjamas. "What does he need to..." She trails off when she spots Maeve. "What is she doing?"
Her friend gleefully fills her in on the events, and Katherine stands with a palm over her mouth, eyes widening.
Approaching Maeve, I place a hand on her bare shoulder, but she doesn't pay attention, instead continuing to mutter about heartbeats. "Somebody fetch Tobias!” I demand again.
"Why not Sofia? She's Walcott head," says Katherine. "Do you think a witch did this to her?"
"No. I don't know. Sofia is probably asleep—Tobias will definitely be awake."
Maeve's head snaps up and she seizes my wrist. "Tobias. Yes. He would know."
"How would he know?" I ask.
"He can show me." Maeve approaches the guy who spoke earlier and pushes him. "Find Tobias. He'll help me."
Hell, this is surreal. I drag hair from my face. "I can help you, Maeve."
"Can you?" She blinks at me. "Can you show me the way, Andrei?"
"How about you tell her to stop making so much noise?" retorts Katherine. "The last thing we need is someone marching in here and accusing us of assaulting a witch by using mind control."
"Accusing you?" asks Sergei with a laugh. "You're the one who abuses that power."
"Shut up," she snaps. "Andrei, can you get Maeve out of here? Take her to your room or something until she calms down."
"No! Everybody be quiet so I can hear!" shouts Maeve.
Katherine's aghast expression would amuse me if I weren't so worried.
Maeve cocks her head as everybody falls into bemused silence. A guy who's watched quietly whispers to me that he'll fetch Tobias and disappears through the main doors.
"Why can't I find the noise?" asks Maeve. "I need to get this out of my mind."
Alarmed when she starts hitting the sides of her head with her palms, I catch Maeve's arms and pull them away. "Stop! You'll hurt yourself."
She blinks up at me, eyes tearing. "Andrei. Make the noise stop."
Should I be relieved she's responding to me, or horrified by the despair in her eyes? Either way, I'm useless. I pull a trembling Maeve to me—all I can do is hold her tight and hope she stays in my arms. Who knows what she might do next?