by Amanda Perry
“Let’s all head to the kitchen, and get breakfast started.” Leanne pointedly eyes everyone except my dad.
Without question, they head out of my room. Caleb throws one quick glance over his shoulder before Jaxon drags him from the room. For a second, I see a flash of fear cross his face as his eyes widen and his lips thin into a hard line, but surely my eyes are playing tricks on me.
“Riley? Sweetie, are you okay?” my dad asks, taking my mind away from Caleb’s odd behavior.
“I’m s-s-sorry.” I sniff, using my hand to clean the remaining tears from my face. “I g-g-guess I-I-I should’ve t-t-told you s-s-sooner? I d-d-don’t r-r-really sleep m-m-much. Only e-e-every f-f-few days a-a-and o-o-only for a f-f-few hours. I h-h-have t-t-terrible d-d-dreams, and I-I-I usually w-w-wake up l-l-like th-th-that. I d-d-didn’t m-m-mean to b-b-bother you a-a-all.”
“Well, first”—He gently places a hand on my shoulder. I’m still jumpy from my dream, but I force myself to remain still. He doesn’t deserve me jumping away from him when he’s trying to be comforting— “Never be sorry about anything like this, kiddo. It isn’t your fault, and none of us blame you one bit. Second, I want you to tell me what we can do to help you when you have a nightmare.”
In shock he wants to help me, I gape at him. This all seems surreal. I don’t understand why he’s not angry with me. Shouldn’t he be yelling?
“W-w-well…” I chew on my bottom lip while I decide what I should say. He can’t be serious about wanting to help. Even if he is, I’m sure nothing would make the dreams go away. Finally, I tell him what I assume he wants to hear. “I g-g-guess the b-b-best thing to do i-i-is let m-m-me be. If y-y-you h-h-hear me j-j-just ignore me. I c-c-can usually c-c-calm m-m-myself down.”
My dad watches me for a long moment, his eyes skeptical. “Okay,” he finally lets out with a resigned sigh. “If that will really help, then we’ll do what you ask, but can I ask a favor in return?”
At my nod, he continues with his request. “Come out, and let us know you’re okay when you’ve calmed down. I don’t like the idea of thinking it wasn’t just a nightmare and something could have happened to you.”
“Okay,” I agree, trying not to show my discomfort. Why would he want to know I’m okay?
“Good.” He pats my knee. “Well, I smell bacon and eggs. How about we head down for breakfast?”
Nodding my agreement, I pause and ask, “I-i-is it okay i-i-if I get d-d-dressed first?”
“You don’t have to ask my permission, kiddo.” He chuckles, standing up and heading for the door.
“D-d-dad.” I stop him as he gets to the doorway. It’s the first time I’ve called him that out loud, and it sounds strange to my ears.
He turns back to me, his eyes wide. A slow, goofy grin spreads across his face as if me calling him dad makes him happy. Raising a brow in question, he answers me. “Yeah, kiddo?”
“T-t-they aren’t n-n-nightmares,” I murmur, frowning down at my hands in my lap. “They’re m-m-memories.”
The silence that follows my confession is too much for me to handle. My gaze lifts back to him to gauge his reaction. He obviously doesn’t know what to say as his mouth opens and closes a few times. Finally, he closes his eyes and hangs his head, leaving the room.
~
When I make my way downstairs, everyone is engrossed in a conversation about whether eggs taste better scrambled or sunny side up. No one—aside from Caleb—seems to notice as I sit in my usual seat. His eyes narrow and his brow furrows. I can’t seem to decipher the look he gives me, but he won’t take his eyes off me. I ignore it as much as I can, but after a while, it makes me too nervous. Did I make him mad by waking him up? Should I apologize to him and everyone else or simply let it go? I’m not sure what he wants from me.
A hand on my knee startles me from my inner debate. Jumping in my seat, my eyes follow the hand to the arm up to Caleb’s face. I don’t pull away from his hand like I probably should. Instead, I let him keep it there.
He mouths, “You okay?” to me. Maybe his intense stare was him trying to figure out if I’m still upset.
I give him a genuine smile and a short nod in answer. My insides flutter at the thought he might be concerned for me. He beams back as his shoulders relax. His hand stays on my knee throughout the rest of breakfast. At first, I’m not sure if it’s the normal thing. No one seems to notice, and if they do, they say nothing about it. In the end I decide it’s probably his way of trying to make me more comfortable, and surprisingly, it works.
After breakfast, Jaxon hops up to wash the dishes. Caleb clears the table. When I ask what I should do, I’m told to hang out in the living room and relax. Sitting around doing nothing while everyone else cleans confuses me, but the tension in my shoulders eases somewhat when Leanne sits on the couch next to me. She turns the television on to a show about baking cupcakes in a competition, and I get sucked in without realizing it.
I love to bake, and some of the recipes the people on the show come up with sound like fun to make. If I were to make them here, I wonder if I might even be allowed to eat one of the cupcakes. Having the ingredients for extra things like dessert was a rarity growing up, but I always found it enjoyable to bake when I could.
Water rushes into the dishwasher, signifying cleanup has been completed. Cassie skips up to me with an expression of pure joy. Caleb and Jaxon saunter up behind her, both wearing amused grins.
“Good luck with them, honey.” Leanne stands up and heads out of the room, giving me a sympathetic grimace over her shoulder.
“Guess what time it is!” Cassie sing-songs as she skids to a stop right in front of me.
“U-u-um.” I glance behind her to Jaxon and Caleb as they sit on the couch. “T-t-ten o’clock?” I ask, not sure what she wants me to say. Since there’s a clock on the wall, she could easily look at, but I don’t think she really wants the time.
Apparently, my answer amuses Caleb and Jaxon because they snicker in the background, earning a glare from Cassie.
“Noooo.” She huffs, plopping down next to me on the couch. “It’s shopping time! The four of us are going to spend the whole day and maybe even tomorrow shopping! And do you know why?” She doesn’t pause for a response, but bounces in her seat. “I’ll tell you why. Because you have no clothes, and you need some things for summer! You can’t keep wearing long sleeves here in California; it isn’t practical. Plus, I am dying to get you in a dress. You should also think about adding some color to your wardrobe. All the blacks and grays are boring. Oh, then we shou—”
“Cassie!” Jaxon jumps up from the couch and hurries over to us. “Take a breath, sweetheart. I don’t want you passing out on me.” He turns to me with an apologetic smirk. “Riley, would you like to come shopping with us?”
I want to, badly. I want to be normal and have friends, and go shopping, and be cheerful, and do normal fun things. But there’s one major problem with this plan. “O-o-oh, well, I-I-I mean I-I-I would, b-b-but it’s j-j-just t-t-that… W-w-well… I k-k-kind of d-d-don’t really…” I pause and turn away as my cheeks heat with embarrassment. “I d-d-don’t have any m-m-money to go shopping,” I finally whisper. “I still o-o-owe Leanne for the things she b-b-bought me the o-o-other day.”
Cassie tilts her head to the side, her eyes flickering to Jaxon with confusion. “I thought your mom and dad told you to give Riley her new cards?”
Jaxon’s cheeks turn light-pink as he reaches for his wallet. “Erm, I sorta forgot about them. That was the same day you wanted to go swimming, and I kinda got distracted by you in a bikini.”
“Jaxon!” Cassie scolds, smacking his arm.
I flinch away from the exchange out of instinct and immediately cringe at my actions, hoping no one noticed. Luckily, Cassie and Jaxon are too busy bickering, but Caleb sits back on the couch, giving me the same intense look from breakfast. Doing my best to ignore his questioning eyes, I turn back to Cassie.
Jaxon extends his hand, grabbing my atte
ntion. He holds two cards out to me. “The black one is your credit card. That’s mostly for big purchases or emergencies, and the silver one is your debit card. The pin is one two three four. You’ll need to go change it at the bank when you get the chance. That’s the one you use for whatever you might need.”
His brow furrows as he stops talking, trying to remember something. “I think Dad said he put five thousand in your account, so you should be good for a while. If you start to run low, then just tell him or Mom, and they’ll transfer more into your account.”
I blink at him, trying to figure out if this is a joke. He seems serious, though, and the cards look real. They have my name on them and everything.
“Jax—” I start, but have to clear my throat and try again. “J-J-Jaxon, I c-c-can’t afford t-t-to pay them b-b-back for this. There’s n-n-no way I can take this.”
He puts an arm around my shoulders. “Listen, Sis, you are a part of this family. This is what Mom and Dad do. They want us to have whatever we need. Cassie and Caleb’s parents gave them the same cards when they turned sixteen. If we keep our grades up in school, stay out of trouble, help around the house without being asked, and do some sort of charity work at least once a month, they don’t mind doing this for us.”
“He’s right.” My dad’s voice comes from behind me, and I spin around. He stands behind the couch with his hands in his pockets and a sincere expression on his face. “I never explained the cards I was talking about at lunch the other day. So long as you follow the rules, we’ll support you.”
The way he says it, with so much feeling and sureness, makes me wonder if he means more than financial support.
I shift in my seat, uncomfortable with all the eyes in the room trained on me. Trying to take the spotlight away from me, I turn to Jaxon and give him a slight grin. “Did y-y-you just c-c-call me S-S-Sis?”
Everyone laughs as he pulls me into a hug. For once, I don’t flinch away from him. “Yeah, I did. I always hated being an only child. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. She met Mark when I was three, and he’s been the only dad I’ve ever known. I love him just as much as I love her, but sometimes I wished I had a brother or sister to hang out and play with growing up. Dad really sucked at building forts, so I was kind of on my own with that sort of stuff, ya know?”
“Hey! I build a mean fort, mister!” Dad whines with fake hurt in his voice.
Jaxon and Caleb snicker as Cassie pats my dad on the back and pretends to agree with him.
“Okay, Riley, let’s go get dressed. We’re wasting daylight here!” Cassie claps gleefully, grabbing my hand and dragging me toward the stairs. She pauses and calls over her shoulder to the guys, “Caleb and Jaxon! You boys better be ready in half an hour. No fake headaches or sudden plans!”
They both groan aloud. My mood lifts at their playfulness. She could probably tell those boys to stand naked in a snowstorm and they would.
Cassie pulls me to my room, and scans the contents of my closet for a full five minutes. “I can work with this, I guess.” Frustration laces her voice, but when she turns around with a pair of dark-wash jeans Leanne bought me along with a dark-blue, short-sleeved v-neck, she doesn’t lash out. “You really need a bigger selection,” she grumbles while turning her back, so I can get dressed in the outfit she chose. “It’s fine, though.” Her voice perks up and I watch as she bounces on the balls of her feet. “It’s going to be awesome taking care of your fashion catastrophe. Even Jaxon can’t complain about it because it’s beyond necessary.”
I lighten at the normalcy of our time together, picking out clothes and talking about shopping. It’s strange for me to have the ability to safely wear short-sleeved shirts without worry of bruises showing, for now at least. Back home was always an unwritten rule for me to wear clothing to cover marks and bruises easily. It kept people from asking questions.
After Cassie approves of my outfit and my long, blond hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, we head out with the boys. “Sweetheart, maybe you and Riley should head to the mall while Caleb and I go to that new sporting goods store they put in next door.”
“Not a chance, dude,” Cassie snaps as we drive to the best mall around. At least that’s what Cassie calls it. “We are doing this together, suck it up.”
Jaxon deflates visibly but when he glances my way his face lights up. “At least I can get to know you a bit better while Cassie forces us into every single store in the stupid mall.”
Caleb makes a sound of agreement as we pull into a parking spot. Cassie doesn’t give anyone time to say more. She hops out of the car and calls for the three of us to hurry up.
CHAPTER SIX
We spend the next few hours going through every inch of the four large department stores located at each end of the mall, as well as a few smaller stores in between. Cassie picks out everything she considers perfect for me, and I spend hours in the dressing rooms.
During one of my sessions in the dressing room, Cassie stands outside pouting. “I don’t see why you won’t get that dress I liked in the last store. It’s perfect on you.”
“I-i-i-it was f-f-f-fifty dollars,” I remind her quietly while pulling a pair of jeans on.
She snorts at my simple reasoning. “What about the shoes in the first store?”
“I-I-I can’t j-j-justify eighty d-d-dollars on shoes.” It makes me uncomfortable to spend someone else’s money, even if they gave permission. “I g-g-got the black s-s-shoes, t-t-though.”
“That’s because it was the cheapest pair I would approve of,” she retorts with no real malice.
“She doesn’t need to get every pair of shoes that fit her, Cassie,” Caleb chides in from somewhere near the fitting room waiting area. “Just because you have a small shoe store in your closet doesn’t mean everyone else should.”
“You’re one to talk, big brother. You should buy stock in those boring ass black and gray shirts you always seem to need.”
Jaxon snickers at Cassie’s words, but Caleb remains silent.
It only takes me a few more seconds to slip on one of the shirts picked for me and open the door. My body tenses, wondering what to expect. Cassie might have made her brother mad with her last statement and I worry Caleb might want to hurt her because of it.
My worries are for nothing, thankfully.
Cassie stands leaning against the wall across from my dressing room while Jaxon and Caleb sit on the wide bench to the left. They both have their heads buried in their phones and their legs surrounded by bags.
“Perfect!” Cassie claps her hands and I startle, jumping back a bit at the sudden noise. All three of them notice and exchange matching looks of concern. My gaze drops to my bare feet and I rock back on my heels. “Th-th-that was the l-l-last thing.”
My goal of distracting them from my strange behavior works well and I loosen the balls my hands had formed from the unwanted attention.
“I saw the little place across from here is having a good sale,” Cassie yelps, strolling past me into the dressing room and gathering up the items she approved of. “Get changed and I’ll bring this stuff up front. Toss that outfit over, though. I want to add it, also.”
My stomach takes that moment to let out a loud rumble and I blush with embarrassment. “S-s-sorry.”
“What for?” Jaxon tilts his head to the side in confusion.
My eyes widen as I try to figure out if he really wants me to answer or if he’s being sarcastic. His brow draws together as he watches me.
I clear my throat nervously. “M-m-my stomach, being h-h-hungry.”
“You’re sorry for being hungry?” His frown deepens as if he doesn’t understand.
He starts to say more, but Caleb jumps in before he can. “I’m actually starving, too. We need to grab some lunch.”
“We ate those pretzels between the first two stores,” Cassie argues, her hands defiantly placed on her hips.
Caleb glances down at his watch and shakes his head, exasperated. “Shit, it
’s basically dinner now. We need to get something before we keep going. Pretzels are a snack, Cassie, not a meal.”
“Also, that was over five hours ago, sweetheart,” Jaxon reminds her.
Cassie mopes the whole way to the checkout line with the overly large pile of clothes in her hands. The boys carry all the bags, which leaves me to fidget with my hands, wondering what to do.
Luckily, I don’t need to wonder long. The guys have so many bags already, Cassie and I grab the new lot after it’s paid for and we all make our way to the restaurant. I’m glad the boys convinced her to let us stop for dinner. My feet ache, and it feels good to sit down at the table of the little Mexican restaurant just outside the main mall.
“This is so much fun! Aren’t you having fun, Riley?” Cassie bounces around in her seat.
“Y-y-yeah, but I n-n-never knew shopping w-w-was such hard w-w-work,” I admit, hiding a grin when the boys chortle.
“Wait!” Cassie shouts, startling me.
Caleb and Jaxon stop laughing at my obvious jolt.
“Wh-wh-what?” I whisper, worried I’ve made her mad by saying shopping is hard work.
Her eyes widen. “Have you ever been shopping?”
“Erm… n-n-no? I mean, I w-w-went to the th-th-thrift store once, a-a-and I went to the g-g-grocery store a lot.” My cheeks heat as I bow my head. “Also, Leanne t-t-took me shopping f-f-for a few things l-l-last week. D-d-does that c-c-count?”
“Of course not! Well, unless you bought a bunch of cute vintage clothes at the thrift store.” She barely pauses to take a breath as she continues to chatter. “Why didn’t you ever go shopping? Was it just a money issue?”
“Cassie!” Jaxon growls in warning.
Immediately, my spine straightens, and my hands begin to shake at his tone.
Cassie winces and gives me an apologetic smile. “Sorry, that didn’t sound right. I don’t mean to pry about your old money situation. I’m just naturally curious. I’ve never met anyone who hasn’t been shopping.”