by Dakota Gray
My sister leans into me until her head rests on my shoulder. “Just breathe. Whenever you feel like that, take in a deep inhalation and ask yourself if it’s fear or if your reaction is authentic.”
I bring my arm up so I can squeeze her in a side hug. “When did my baby sister get so smart?”
“Thank the twins. They allowed me to know what real fear is whenever they want to play hide and seek in a department store.”
I snort. “You’re an ass.”
“I know.” Layla straightens. “How long do you have to wait for the results?”
“Next month. They want to make sure they’ve posted every entry before coming to a decision.”
I open my mouth to say something when a loud crash comes from down the hallway. We both get up to rush to the room. My heart doesn’t slow until I see they’re fine—they had tried to make a pillow fort with the toy boxes and Legos.
Layla gestures to the twins, who look only slightly guilty. “See. They give me mini heart attacks all the damn time.”
I laugh because it’s true my nieces are a handful. But could her advice be that easy? Just breathe? Just trust?
I don’t know.
22
Tarek
* * *
Nina jumps me as soon as she opens her door. As always, I get lost in the feel of her mouth, her body pressed against mine. She’s all heat and softness, and I can’t remember why I had a knot in my gut all day. She rests her fingers on my neck and pulls back.
“How was your day?”
I tell her the truth. “So much better now.”
“The game, the game you always hit me with.” She gives me a peck on the lips, her eyes bright. “Let me show you what I did today.”
She turns into her living room, and there’s toys scattered here and there. “Had company?”
“My sister dropped by, since I’ve been a little preoccupied this week.”
I chuckle. “My friends did the same with me.”
She stops in front of her coffee table. “Oh.” She smiles. “Why is that?”
“Because an incredible woman with an incredible smile kept sitting on my dick.”
Nina laughs. “I can’t stand you.”
She gestures for me to sit as she scoops up her laptop. She settles it on my lap and curls into me. “The first folder is what I sent to the contest. The second needs no introduction.” Then she bites her lip.
The second is named after me. I can guess which one she wants me to open first. I click on the folder with my name. “Before I really begin, what do you want?”
“Just your honest opinion. And know that I didn’t send any of these to the contest. So no worries there.”
I double-click the first photo. Takes me a minute to remember where we were. It was taken on the last day of the trip. The prissy control freak let me drive again. My wrist hangs on the steering wheel, the other on my thigh, but I’m laughing, because right before, she’d said I was giving off big dick energy. I click through to the next and the next.
It’s a little crazy, but every pic captures me. I look like a man who isn’t afraid to smile. I look like a man with a dark gaze, darker secrets. Shit. The way I look at Nina though, that squeezes my chest. Picture after picture there’s just me, unguarded. How the fuck did she do that?
I get to the last picture. I’m standing in the shadows of the trees and there’s just a sliver of light crossing my face. I close the laptop to meet her gaze. Her eyes are wide, her teeth worrying a corner of her mouth. “I need to tell you something, Nina.”
The words fall out on their own before I can backpedal, but the thing is, she deserves to know the whole truth.
“What do you need to tell me?” Her voice is small, and I hate that shit.
“I knew about your ex before you told me.”
“What?” She pulls away from me.
“After we officially met the first time, I had Duke dig up some info on you.”
She scoots back another inch so not parts of us are touching. “What exactly did you find out?”
“You had a restraining order registered in this county, and that your ex-husband was in prison.”
Her gaze drops to her lap as nods. “Is that why you said yes to being my guide?”
“I can’t say it didn’t color my decision, but it’s not the sole reason.”
“Then why?” She whips back at me, anger tightening the skin around her eyes.
“Your pitch, your absolute belief this contest can change your life. You made me believe it too. Each day that passed I didn’t doubt you’d kick ass and take names. I should have told you. I didn’t know how.”
“You didn’t know how without me getting angry at you. Isn’t that what you mean?”
I fight the urge to look away from shame. “Yeah.”
Nina closes her eyes and breathes in and out. Eventually she opens her eyes, pinning me with her stare. “I want to be mad that you lied by omission, not that you had Duke do a background check. I vetted you to an extreme extent before I approached you. And I really, really I want to use this as a way to end things between us.”
Maybe it’s just stupid hope that makes me hear a but. I remain silent, and finally she says, “But you knew from the beginning and you didn’t treat me like I was made of glass. You didn’t treat me like someone to be pitied.”
Confused, I ask. “Why would I pity you?”
“I don’t know. Some men have, some will. Even after I told you what he did you’re not… Nothing has changed. It’s all…” She pushes out a breath. “You scare me.”
Shock freezes me. “I what?”
She puts up her hand. “You scare me because how I feel about you is not something I can will away. You can break my heart into a thousand pieces, but you won’t break me. That much I know and believe.”
None of that is as bad as I imagined she’d say. “Are we okay? Do you need me to leave and give you time?”
She kisses me instead of answering. I put her laptop aside to drag her onto my lap. I’m swallowed by the warmth of her, the urgency of her mouth. My dick’s already standing at attention from just sitting next to her. She surrounds me and I can’t help but be grateful.
She edges away then smiles hard enough to make her dimples come out. “Does that answer your question?”
“I don’t know. I think we need to be naked to be sure I get what you’re trying to say.”
“After dinner. I’m starving.”
“What’s on the menu?”
“I’m having lasagna and then ice cream. You’re having lasagna and me as dessert. That’s the proper way to apologize to me, by the way.”
For that, I kiss her again and just accept I love the shit out of this woman.
23
Nina
* * *
I know my mouth is hanging open, but I can’t seem to close it. Tarek’s pulled up to a gated mansion.
“This is where Duke grew up?”
“Yup.” He rolls down the window to punch in the security code.
I lean forward in the passenger seat trying to take all of the house in. “He makes so much more sense.”
“Wait until you meet his mom.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
He just laughs and rolls into the long driveway. The house is made with a lot of stone and colonial rooftops, giving it a gothic kind of vibe. If that isn’t enough, there are literal valets waiting at the end of the drive. There are only three cars lined up in the grass.
When he invited me, I assumed the event would be a small gathering to celebrate Duke and Kennedy’s nuptials. “Does she have a lot of friends?”
“I don’t know. I do know his mother has invited most of the who’s who in the legal field in California.”
I glance down at my dress. The color of red wine, the neckline wraps around my neck. What I love most about it is the split that rides up the middle and stops just above my knee. “Had I known every legal person in California was invite
d, I would have gone for something a lot more formal.”
Tarek reaches over and squeezes my thigh. “You’re fine. I’m not even wearing a tie.”
And that does help my nerves. He’s wearing a gray suit and a flamingo pink shirt and looks absolutely delicious. His smile widens like he knows exactly what I’m thinking. He’s so insufferable sometimes.
Within a few minutes we’re inside the mansion, and once again, I’m shocked. I’d mentally prepared myself for a cold but extremely expensive décor. You see a gothic-like house and it’s a safe bet you’re going to find oil paintings on the wall of previous male owners. This is a home with soft rugs and huge sofas that have afternoon nap potential written all over them. The only cold thing are the family photos. There’s Duke looking somber and a man who has to be his father who looks grim. And his mom is the only one with a broad smile. I am so confused and not sure what to expect until we’re out on the patio. White tents cover the expansive porch. Tables are already set up with large floral centerpieces. Near what looks to be a makeshift bar stands a brunette, shorter than me if that’s possible, and I recognize the smile right away from the pictures. She’s beaming at a redhead that stands beside Duke.
Tarek bumps my shoulder with his and whispers, “You ready?”
“I’m not nervous.” It’s sort of true. I met his friends when I was technically his client. Now I’m something very different.
That stupid brow goes up. “Sure. Sure.”
“Remind me to flick you in the forehead later for being a smartass.”
“Remember, my friends only bite with consent.”
“Shut up,” but I’m smiling as we walk up to the small group.
The redhead offers her hand. “I’m Kennedy.”
I try to keep my eyebrows in place as the rock on her finger tries to blind me. “Congratulations.” I nod at Duke, who looks somber, and then I’m accosted by his mother.
Frazzled, I try to hug her back but she’s already pulling away to cup my face. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“You have?”
“Duke gave me all the gossip.”
“He has?” I look at Duke and he’s glaring at the whiskey in his cup.
“Our photographer quit last minute and he told me about you.”
“Oh, wow.” I glance at Duke who still looks pissed at his cup. “Thanks. I think.”
Duke’s mother has moved on to accost Tarek but he was ready for it. She laughs when he lifts her off her feet for a bear hug. I once again have to look at Duke because how did he come from this woman?
Unsure what to do, I catch Kennedy’s gaze. “Don’t feel obligated to use me. Sure, I’ve done tons of weddings, but finding the right photographer for such an important event can take time. What’s the timeframe you’re looking at?”
“A fall wedding,” Kennedy offers. She reaches out to touch my arm lightly. “I don’t want to put you on the spot at all. If you can’t do it, I’m sure you know tons of people I don’t. I would appreciate any recs at all.”
Before I can blink, I get swept away by the two women talking about weddings, themes and horror stories of both. Then drinks arrive. At some point, Nate’s wife pops into our chat. Robyn’s sharp and sarcastic. I love her.
I’ve never felt more welcomed. And yet, I can’t quite put my finger on why I’m a bit uneasy. I didn’t expect anyone to be mean or even standoffish. It’s just…I don’t know. I make excuses eventually, and I try to shake the feeling off as I search for Tarek in the crowd. He’s made a home at the bar, and to my surprise he’s alone.
His eyes light up when he sees me. “You survived.”
“There was no hazing.” I squint at his drink. “What is it?”
“Manhattan. Want one?”
“Would love one, and you can show me around. Robyn highly recommended it.”
Tarek laughs. “I’m sure she did.”
And there it is again. The thing I can’t quite put my finger on. “What do you mean?”
The bartender butts in, but I ask Tarek again when he hands over my drink. “Come on,” he says.
We leave the crowd, cut through the kitchen and by the time we stop, we’re in an office that could easily fit my house. Books line the walls, and the scent of the old leather and cigars fill my nose.
Tarek puts his drink on the desk then pulls me closer. “What’s going on?
“I think I’m just being paranoid, and I can’t really explain it.”
“Explain what?”
“Why would Robyn think a tour is a good idea and you would laugh about the suggestion?”
Tarek nods. “I see.”
“What?”
“It’s an inside joke. Duke and Kennedy had hit a rough patch. His mother held a brunch to get them in the same room together.”
“Okay?”
“Robyn and Nate took a tour and came back looking…rumpled.”
Takes me a minute to get it then I’m laughing. “That makes a lot more sense.”
He bends his knees so we’re eye-level for a moment. “But do you still feel like an outsider? Like you’re missing big parts of the conversation?”
I didn’t realize how tense I was until my shoulders ease down. His friends included me as best as they could but there was a ton of subtext that flew right over my head. I couldn’t be sure if I was the butt of their jokes. It’s been a long time since I felt that kind of insecurity. I hate it. I turn from Tarek and act like I’m really interested in the book collection.
“Nina?”
I finish off my drink in one gulp to avoid answering. How many times can I pull out all my vulnerabilities in front of him before we’re both sick of it? The warmth of him surrounds me as he puts his face in my neck. “What is it, Nina? You can tell me.”
“I know that I can.”
“So?”
I break from the embrace to place my empty cup on a side table. When I meet his gaze, I try to relax again. He’s not angry. Or annoyed. I sit down on one of the loveseats. “I’m in my feelings, that’s all.”
He strolls closer. “But why?”
“You. Us. Them. This is all new, and I’ve forgotten how to let my guard down, completely. So now I’m just super self-conscious about everything. Are they being nice to me because they love you, or because after meeting me they genuinely like me?”
“Both,” he answers without blinking. “And,” he emphasizes, “whatever you feel about that is valid.”
I don’t know why tears prick at my eyes, but I don’t look away from him. “I really hate you don’t have a tie. I would tug it right now and kiss the shit out of you.”
He braces his hand on the chair and gets down on my level. “What’s stopping you now?”
I keep my word and try to kiss his face off. That’s the problem though. Whenever we kiss the heat of it burns through anything resembling common sense or modesty. I want more, everything. The way he closes his hand on my neck, arching it up, he wants the same. In the next breath, he’s pulling me out the chair, clasping his arms around my middle to hold me close. His slacks don’t cling like sweatpants, but there’s no mistaking how hard he is. I rub against him damn near feeling what comes next—him, hot and hard inside me. My hands find their way to his belt then zipper.
Tarek groans then looks me in the eye. “Don’t start what we can’t finish.”
“You’re right.” I push him back and I don’t fight the smile. “With everything that’s been going on, I keep forgetting about my I.O.U.”
“Right now?” His eyes widen, bright with hope. “Right this very second?”
“Well…we can always wait—” I laugh at his quick and fierce headshake.
“Robyn did say I should take you on the full tour,” he says.
“You’re shameless.”
“Only for you.”
I hook my finger onto his belt to bring him closer. It’s too easy to slide to my knees. The action is worth it, the way his features soften into awe like what I’m doi
ng will keep the stars in the sky.
Every part of me wants to believe nothing but good can come from a guy looking at me like that, no matter what I may be doing. Still I take my time unzipping, undressing and revealing his cock. He’s already heavy and hard.
I take him in my hand to give him a light stroke before pressing my lips to the soft underside. His cock twitches in my hand. Closing my eyes, I brush away worries, real or imagined, and take him into my mouth.
His precome is just waiting for me like a gift. So is his groan, the way his knees press into me. I move my hands to his ass for better leverage.
“Do you have anything against my hands on your head?” his voice is gruff and sexier than I’ve ever heard it before.
I look up at him. “No.” I kiss the tip of his penis. “Now how do you want this? Wet and sloppy—”
“However, any way, all the ways.”
He’s trembling, and I haven’t even begun to torture him yet. His reaction is all the urging I need. I take him into my mouth again, deeper, and as he slides out of my mouth, I swirl my tongue along the tip. Tarek murmurs something I can’t hear but I focus on sucking him deeper, until I have to hold still as my gag reflex kicks in. He pulls my head back, his grip on my braids like a vise. His dick glistens from saliva.
Tarek jaw flexes. “Wet, but not yet sloppy. Now swallow all of me, if you can.”
I take that as a challenge and let him guide my head. His dick slides in so much easier now. I dig my nails into his ass when the tip of his cock invades the back of my throat. I swallow slowly and he applies pressure to the back of my head.
“Fuck. Fuck,” he growls.
I pull back, needing air, and tears sting my eyes. My spit is thicker, coating his dick from tip to base. It’s so profane, my pussy clenches at the sight. I barely drag in a breath and take him in again. I don’t know how many times we throat play, but I know my makeup has to be a fucking mess, and still, his awestruck expression remains.
His hand becomes more insistent as he jerks into my mouth. Tarek’s dick is throbbing, harder than hard. He’s right there. I pull back one more time to breathe, but when he’s back in my throat I hum. The noise he makes is somewhere between a whimper and a growl and he’s lost all control of his hand and hips.