“What do you want from me then?”
“As I’ve already said, I just came to tell you that your husband is a no good husband and you should divorce him. How did he even dare to put you as a bet in a card game?” He lifted his hand and brushed the hair off my face. He distinctively smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. “You. Such a beautiful wife. If I were your husband, I would shoot a man who would only offer me that. No, you’re too precious of a possession to lose. Look at you, look how goddamn gorgeous you are.”
Obergruppenführer Kaltenbrunner leaned his tall body over me even more, and I leaned back, gripping the nightstand with both hands. He was looking me up and down with his hungry black eyes, tracing his hand on top of my arm, all the way to my shoulder, then to my neck and face.
“No, you are absolutely right. We both should go before the tribunal for even making such a bet. We are criminals. You can bet Jews all you want, but you can’t do that with an Aryan woman.” He was playing with my hair with both of his hands, laying it out on my shoulders and readjusting my locks the way he wanted. I didn’t dare to move. “It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have made that joke in the first place. I was very drunk and I apologize, Frau Friedmann. I would never insult you like that.”
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Dr. Kaltenbrunner and Mr. Chief of the Gestapo. I could almost hear the two voices inside his head, one of the intelligent and respectful lawyer and another one of the despotic maniac dominating the interrogation rooms of the Secret Police. Deep inside, I was praying that the first one would win. Just to be sure, I decided to give him a little push.
“I know you wouldn’t, Herr Obergruppenführer. You’re an officer and a gentleman. You would never offend a defenseless woman.”
He lifted his eyes from my chest and looked at me with a shade of confusion on his face. I was right in a sense: Dr. Kaltenbrunner would never do that. The Chief of the Gestapo would.
“No. Of course not,” he said slowly, but then put his heavy hand on my shoulder again, his thumb caressing my collarbone. “You’re so delicate. I would never hurt you…”
He licked his lips and moved his hand lower, until he reached my breast. He firmly pressed it with his hand, but then, as if he got terrified of his own instincts, quickly moved his hand to my waist.
“I respect you too much, Frau Friedmann. It’s just… you have to understand how difficult it is for me to see you every day at work, so beautiful, so close to me all the time… And I just want to touch you, I want to smell your hair, and your perfume… it’s so intoxicating.” He moved his face even closer to mine and buried it in my hair, his hands still tightly hugging my waist. He started kissing my neck, forcing my legs apart with his knee. “I wanted you from the first night I saw you. You were so pretty in your wedding dress. And then in jail. You were so helpless, so scared… But I still didn’t touch you there, even though I wanted to, really, really bad.”
He was breathing heavily in his excitement, his hands now shamelessly travelling all over my body. He was pressing me hard against the nightstand, the edge of it cutting into my skin. He pushed even stronger on me and I could feel how hard he was against my hip. I knew that at that point there was no way I could make him stop.
“I’ve always wanted you, Annalise. And now you’re finally mine.”
He put both of his hands on my face and tried to kiss me, but I turned my face away from him.
“Just do it already and get it over with,” I told him in cold voice. “Don’t kiss me though.”
He immediately let go of me and stepped away.
“No. No, I would never…” He was looking at me almost in awe. It was Dr. Kaltenbrunner’s eyes, not the Gestapo guy. “Against your will… No. I wouldn’t dare!”
He then stepped closer to me, picked up my hand and kissed it.
“I hope you will forgive me, Frau Friedmann. I’m very drunk. If I was sober, I wouldn’t even think of… I apologize again. Goodnight.”
After those words Obergruppenführer Kaltenbrunner quickly turned around and left my bedroom. I went to the door and locked it, just in case. I still couldn’t believe my luck.
_______________
The next morning I was helping our host’s wife with coffee when Heinrich finally came back. I guess he spent the night in his car, and judging by his look it was the worst night of his life. It was quite understandable; he probably didn’t even sleep thinking of what his chief could possibly be doing to his wife. I saw him stop indecisively in the doorway; he couldn’t even raise his eyes up to mine, nor to Obergruppenführer Kaltenbrunner, who was reading a newspaper by the dining table where he was sitting together with Georg and our host.
“You’re late for breakfast.” Dr. Kaltenbrunner noticed Heinrich, who was still standing in the doors. “Are you going to stand there like a statue all day? Sit down and eat.”
Heinrich silently obeyed the order. Our host’s wife quickly ran to the kitchen to serve my husband breakfast. Georg kept looking at both Heinrich and his boss, trying to understand what had happened last night that they both were acting so strange.
“I sent your Jews to Germany, like you asked me to.” Dr. Kaltenbrunner finally couldn’t stand the sight of his subordinate, who was moving food from one side of the plate to another for several minutes already. “Frick needs working force anyway.”
Heinrich nodded and hardly whispered, “Thank you.”
Dr. Kaltenbrunner couldn’t care less about the Minister of Interior Wilhelm Frick and his current needs, but feeling guilty about his behavior the night before, he decided that it was the least he could do. Heinrich misinterpreted the gesture as a sort of payment for his wife’s favors that his superior was supposedly enjoying in his absence, and almost buried his head in his plate completely. Obergruppenführer Kaltenbrunner rolled his eyes, finished his coffee in one shot and got up from the table.
“Stop with those miserable looks, Friedmann! I didn’t touch your wife! Even though you were stupid enough to play cards on her!”
After saying that Dr. Kaltenbrunner left the room, making both our host and his wife exchange more than astonished looks. I guess in their country they weren’t used to such a form of an entertainment as playing cards on each other’s spouses. Georg, who saw much worse things from his boss by now, just shrugged apologetically at the Poles and smiled.
During the day that we spent at another ammunition factory, Heinrich, who finally came out of his half-suicidal state, kept following me around and begging for my forgiveness at every opportunity he had. Even my arguments that he didn’t do anything wrong, and it was me who told him to accept the bet in the first place didn’t seem to have any effect on him.
“I’m your husband, I swore to protect you, but instead I almost served you on a silver plate to my worst enemy.”
“He’s not your worst enemy. You two seem to be getting along pretty well lately.”
Heinrich finally smiled.
“Well, I’ll definitely have more respect for him now that he didn’t use such an opportunity, even though he had every right to do so.”
“I told you that he’s not as bad as everybody says.”
“He’s worse. Because you never know what to expect from him.”
It was my turn to smile.
“What do you mean?”
“Heydrich was easy to understand: he was a cold-blooded murderer, and he was enjoying being one. But Kaltenbrunner… I can’t even figure out what’s going on in his head. I thought that he was like Heydrich in the beginning, but now that I’m working so closely with him, he seems to be, I don’t even know… human.”
I smiled again and looked at that human, listening to the report of the director of the factory, who couldn’t stop wiping his forehead and fixing his glasses at the only sight of the Chief of the RSHA towering over him. They were all terrified of Obergruppenführer Kaltenbrunner, partially because of his size, partially because of those scars on his face…
When I first asked him where he go
t them from, he jokingly answered that he was the Reich’s most terrible fencer. He lied of course, he was a fabulous fencer; his Austrian friend Otto Skorzeny explained to me later the whole idea behind those scars. The one who would come out of a duel without marks was not considered the best fencer – everybody can move away from a sword. But it was the most fearless one, who would stand and take the hit purposely, just to show that he wasn’t afraid, he would be the one deserving the utmost respect of his brethren.
Obergruppenführer Kaltenbrunner had no fear at all, and that’s what terrified all his subordinates, and sometimes even superiors so much. People don’t understand that absence of fear, it’s unnatural and therefore frightening. You can only control through fear, but how do you control someone who has none?
Human. One time I heard the two Austrians talk in Dr. Kaltenbrunner’s office through the partially opened door. They stayed late again, the second bottle of cognac was almost empty, but they weren’t in their usual debauchery mood that evening.
“I envy you so much, Otto.” Dr. Kaltenbrunner was resting his head on his hand; he took a drag from his cigarette wrapping himself up in a cloud of white smoke. “I wish I had a chance to fight in the Eastern front. Just think about it, what a beautiful death it is, in the actual fight, among your brothers…”
“Why die? I prefer to live!” Otto laughed, but Dr. Kaltenbrunner shook his head and remained still.
“My father fought in the Great War,” he said quietly after a pause. “All my brothers are fighting now. And what am I doing? Sitting here in this fuckin office and dealing with this Gestapo shit day after day. Sometimes I’m seriously thinking of shooting myself, you know? But would it change anything, Otto?”
“Alright, you’re very drunk, I see it now. Let’s go, I’ll take you to my house.”
“No.”
“No? Do you want to go to that club we like? Let’s go dance with pretty girls all night, how about that?”
“No. I don’t want to. I’ll stay here tonight.”
“In your office?”
“Yes.”
“Give me your gun then.”
“Why?”
“Ernst. Give me your gun. I’ll bring it back tomorrow.”
“No.”
“You give it to me or I’ll take it from you.”
“Try, and I’ll break your arm.”
They were both staring at each other hard, and then Otto sighed tiredly and sat back into his chair.
“Fine. I’ll stay here with you then.”
“I don’t have any more cognac.”
“I’ll still stay. And Ernst… you’re right, it wouldn’t change anything.”
I cried that night. I thought of my brother for some reason.
_______________
Tomorrow we were supposed to leave for Berlin. I kept thinking about that all evening, knowing that it was my last chance to get the information for the Americans. Everything was going very smoothly, Obergruppenführer Kaltenbrunner was drinking a lot even during the dinner, and I couldn’t wait for the Poles to retire to their bedroom.
But it was my husband who decided to ruin everything, and refused to leave me alone with the Chief of the RSHA no matter how persistently I was whispering into his ear that there was no way that Dr. Kaltenbrunner would talk with him in the room. After I realized that no arguments would produce any effect on Heinrich, I decided that in this case he would be the one explaining to his American superiors why we couldn’t find out anything, and went to sleep leaving the two men in the smoky room.
I was already sleeping when Heinrich came back. I heard him taking his uniform off very quietly, in order not to wake me up. But then he got under the blanket with me and I realized that waking me up was in his immediate plans. I was facing the wall and never opened my eyes, but I could smell alcohol and cigarettes right away, as soon as he started kissing my neck, his hot mouth burning my skin.
“Heinrich, did you get drunk again?”
Instead of replying, he pressed himself even closer to me, pulled up the end of my night slip, put his hand between my legs and started touching me very persistently.
“Mmm, Heinrich, you’re such a drunken animal. Stop it.”
I could feel his breath, heavy from excitement, on my back and shoulders and by the way he was rubbing himself of my hip, I knew that he wouldn’t stop. I protested a little more just out of formality, but when he slid his fingers inside of me, I couldn’t help but moan. I opened my legs so he could keep caressing me as much as he wanted. I guess that excited him even more because his breath became more rapid and shallow. He was moving his hand faster and faster, and I felt how everything in my low abdomen started to tighten.
“Heinrich, please…” I wanted him inside of me. I reached for his hip with my hand and pulled him closer, rubbing my behind on his hard flesh.
I didn’t have to ask him twice. In one swift move he lifted up my leg, guided himself in and started thrusting in me, rougher than usual. He even felt different. Bigger than usual. Hungrier. More insatiable, as if we hadn’t made love in years. His hands were all over my body, on my thighs, breasts and neck; he was biting my shoulder and back like a wild animal. I didn’t understand what had gotten into him, but whatever it was, I was enjoying every second of it, pulling on the sheets and moaning with pleasure.
And then he put his hand on my throat and the harder he was moving, the stronger his grip was getting, to the point where it was hard for me to breathe. He never did anything like that before. In fact, before he didn’t do any of the things he was doing now. He was too violent with me, too rough, too controlling, as if he wanted to hurt me. Heinrich never wanted to hurt me. And then a thought crossed my mind: he didn’t say a single word since he came in. It wasn’t my husband.
“Heinrich?”
I gasped as I realized that it wasn’t him, and tried to turn my head towards the man who was basically raping me, but he quickly pressed me down with the weight of his strong body and grabbed both of my hands. I was laying on my stomach now, my face buried in the pillow to muffle my screams. But I wasn’t going to scream. I knew that out of the whole house only one man would do such a thing. He couldn’t fight the temptation anymore and finally got a hold on his object of desire. Obergruppenführer Kaltenbrunner.
I turned my head to the side so I could at least somehow breathe. He was hurting my wrists even though I didn’t try to release myself. I knew that I didn’t have a chance against him. The worst part of it all was that till the last second I thought that I was making love to my husband, and he got me very excited. Even now when my brain was screaming bloody murder, my body was clearly enjoying the rape. I can’t be possibly enjoying this, I kept telling myself; but when he lifted my hips a little and put his hand in between my legs, my whole body involuntarily jerked. I knew that he liked that because he started moving slower now, together with his hand on my wet flesh, torturing me, teasing me, making me try to get away from his persistent fingers when I couldn’t take it anymore.
“No, please!” I knew that all my pleadings would be in vain, I just didn’t want him to have a complete victory over me. I could live with the thought that he raped me, but I wouldn’t be able to stand the thought that it was such a pleasurable experience. That would be the most humiliating thing.
He didn’t listen to me of course. Instead, he pulled my hips even higher up till I was standing on my knees in front of him, so his hand that he was touching me with wouldn’t have anything in its way. In this position he could move even deeper in me and I quickly realized how big he really was, but surprisingly it wasn’t hurting me. My skin was so tight around his and the sensation of him completely filling me up with every new thrust was bringing me over the edge. He wasn’t holding my arms anymore and I clenched onto the pillow, trying my best not to start moaning again.
“You’re so stubborn.” He laughed as soon as my legs started to slightly shiver. “I know how much you’re enjoying this. You just don’t want to sh
ow it to me. But I’m stubborn too. I’ll just keep doing it till you’ll be screaming my name over and over again.”
He was right, I was getting ready to start screaming. I don’t think I’d ever felt such a buildup in my whole body. With Heinrich I could moan and roll around the sheets all I wanted, but with Obergruppenführer Kaltenbrunner I was trying to contain myself for so long that it played an evil joke with me. My body was more than ready to give up on me. He started moving faster and harder, together with his hand and I bit my lip very hard trying not to make a sound. It didn’t help. I lost all the control over myself and did the only thing to prevent the whole house from becoming the witness of my humiliation: I hid my face in the pillow and screamed into it, my fists clenching the sheets with all the force I had.
It excited him even more. Now he wanted to enjoy his victory over me. This time he turned me on my back: he wanted me to see his face. He wanted me to look at him while he’d be doing it again, and I knew he would. He was smiling as I was laying in front of him, absolutely helpless. He pushed my legs wide apart and slowly put his fingers inside of me. I inhaled sharply as my skin tightened around his fingers, still so sensitive from the release; my body and my brain were obviously not on the same page. He played with me a little without taking his eyes off mine and then put his fingers in his mouth, savoring the taste. I hated him.
“Mmm, such a sweet girl. I should have tried you earlier. I should have been fucking you every single day since I first met you. I should have fucked you first in jail, right on the table and after I would’ve been done with you, you wouldn’t want to go back to your husband.”
He grinned at me and leaned over me, pressing his hard flesh in between my legs and slightly rubbing it on me. I tried to push him off, but he completely put his body on top of mine and all the strength that I had in my hands couldn’t move his massive chest off me.
“Stop fighting me. You know that you want it as much as I do. You always did.”
I let out a little cry when he forced himself inside of me again, his dark eyes piercing me with their hungry gaze, his mouth so close to mine. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t. My traitor body was welcoming its conqueror again, gladly accepting his every move and ready to comply with all the demands. I want him to get off me and disappear from my life forever, my mind was screaming. But then he covered my nipple with his hot mouth and I forgot what I was thinking.
The Girl from Berlin: Gruppenführer's Mistress Page 25