“But I love you.” Breathing the words because she knew deep down inside her that only the strength of this truth would give them a fighting chance.
“Really?” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Piper. I don’t feel the same way. I’ll never love you, so it’d be better if you go.”
“That’s not true,” she protested, abandoning her pride. “I know you feel the same way about me that I do you.”
“Do you?” Grimacing, he sighed. “I wonder how, since I’ve never told you that.”
“I can tell by your actions,” she said stubbornly. What they had, what they might have, was worth fighting for. Even if it had begun to feel like a one-sided battle.
“Well, you’re wrong,” he declared.
He didn’t lie. Which meant she needed to go.
Pulling her shattered heart around her like a cloak, she turned around without another word. Praying her attempt at a dignified exit would last until she made it to her room, she walked away. When she reached her room, she pulled out her bag and began loading her belongings back into it. Damned if she’d let him see her fall apart. She’d do that once she was off his property. She only wished she could take Truman with her.
Chapter 16
Cord couldn’t watch her go. Seeing the hurt flash across her expressive face had been torture enough.
Since he’d met Piper, he felt like he’d done nothing but lie. However, this time he figured if he was going to tell one final falsehood, it might as well be a doozy. Even if saying the lie felt like he’d ripped his heart clean out of his chest.
Because he loved Piper Colton. He loved her so much he was willing to convince her that he didn’t, couldn’t and never would. Fowler had spoken the truth. Who was Cord to think a woman like Piper could ever be happy living with a man whose business teetered on the brink of collapse? He could barely provide for himself and his niece. Even once he got his business up and running, there’d be college expenses for Renee. He’d never be able to give Piper the sort of lifestyle she deserved.
Damn, the truth hurt. He’d been fooling himself all along, allowing himself to believe that even though they were from two wildly different backgrounds, they might have a future together.
Knowing he’d been wrong didn’t stop the wanting. Or the craving, or the need. Even now, he had to fight the urge to go and comfort her, because he knew he’d hurt her deeply.
For as long as he lived, for every single day he spent on this earth, he knew he’d miss her. And no matter what he did—or didn’t—do from here on out, once he died he no longer had to worry about going to hell. He reckoned he had already arrived there.
When Piper left about ten minutes after their talk, he waited until he heard her car start up. Listening for the sound of tires on the gravel road, he still yearned to rush out after her, beg her forgiveness, and take her in his arms. He wanted to hold her tight and never, ever let her go.
Instead, he wandered into the kitchen. Something smelled delicious, though his stomach turned at the thought of food. Piper had left a big pot of something simmering on the stove. He walked over and turned the burner off, and then saw what she’d made. Pinto beans and ham. On the counter sat a foil-covered pan which he’d bet contained sweet cornbread.
Instantly, he flashed back to the day he’d first had this. Whitney Colton had her head chef prepare a huge pot of this along with several pans of cornbread. Her kitchen crew, along with Piper, had brought this down to the hired hands for their evening meal. That day, Cord had been helping his father with some cattle and he got his own bowl, which made him feel proud.
At the first taste, he’d thought he’d died and gone to heaven. He’d savored each bite and when he’d sopped the last bit up with cornbread, he’d noticed Piper watching him, wearing a broad smile on her freckled face.
That’s what she’d meant by a special meal. She’d made this for him, from their shared childhood memories, with love. He felt, even though he wouldn’t have believed it possible, worse. Instead of sharing it with her, he’d sent her packing.
He’d had to, he reminded himself. He’d only done what was best for her. Because he loved her.
Now, the thought of eating anything, especially this, turned his stomach. Instead, he went and got down a bottle of bourbon. He planned to drink until he’d demolished the pain.
*
Piper drove around for a while. She didn’t have any idea where she was going, she only knew it wouldn’t be home.
Her tears began falling before she’d even reached the end of Cord’s driveway. She made it to the farm-to-market road that led to the two lane blacktop before she pulled over to the side and let herself weep. Gut-wrenching sobs shook her. The guttural sounds of her grief were something no one else could hear, so the privacy of the inside of her car seemed fitting.
And then, as she cried herself out, she started to think. The man who had spoken so callously and cruelly to her was not the Cord Maxwell she’d come to know. Something had to have happened. But what? What could have made him turn on her, push her away, when the thing between them had started to show so much promise?
Or had it all been one-sided?
No. Piper lifted her chin and wiped away her tears. She might have left, but she hadn’t stopped fighting. She’d get to the bottom of this.
Once she’d composed herself enough to hopefully sound normal, she called Reid. “Have you talked to Cord lately?” she asked.
“No, why? You sound terrible. Is everything all right?”
She sighed. Of course her brother could hear the roughness in her voice that meant she’d been crying. “Cord wants me to go home.”
Reid went silent. “For a visit? Or permanently?”
“I think for good.” She took a deep breath. “Have you heard anything?”
“Not really. But I know Fowler was planning to go see him and bring the balance of the money he owed.”
“Oh, Cord wouldn’t take that. He told me he felt like he’d failed to do the job.”
Silence. Then Reid cleared his throat. “Um, I think he did. Fowler got back a little while ago and mentioned he’d had to force Cord to take the payment, but that he finally did.”
She should have been shocked. She should have been stunned. But Piper had come to understand her life had gotten so weird nothing surprised her anymore.
Still, that didn’t sound like the Cord she knew. Of course, neither did the things he’d said to her. She had to wonder if she’d really ever known him. Or if something had happened. Something that had made him believe he had to send her away.
Fowler.
“How long ago was this?” She tried to keep the urgency from her voice.
“A couple of hours at most. Why?”
Gritting her teeth, she took a moment to consider her words. “Reid, I know this is going to sound strange, but is Fowler there? Can you put him on the phone? I really need to talk to him.”
“Um. Okay. Let me see if I can find him.”
Glad her brother hadn’t pressed for a reason, she waited while Reid walked around the huge house, looking for Fowler, her heart pounding in her chest.
“I found him,” Reid said. “Hold on and I’ll pass the phone to him.”
A moment later Fowler came on the line. “Hey, Piper.” He sounded cheerful. A bit too much so. “I wondered if you were going to call me back. I’ve left you several messages, you know.” There it was, a hint of reproach underlying the pleasant tone. “I was hoping you’d congratulate me and Tiffany on our engagement.”
“Congratulations,” she said. “Sorry I didn’t call sooner, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk to you.”
“But now you are? How interesting. Is it something I did?”
Horror filled her. Inhaling sharply, she gathered her thoughts. Surely, hopefully, Fowler hadn’t messed things up between her and Cord on purpose, just so she’d call him. No, not even Fowler would sink that low. Would he?
“Fowler, what did you say to Cord?”
<
br /> “Cord?” he asked. She knew him well enough to know when he feigned ignorance. “I paid him the balance of what I owed him, even though he didn’t really do his job. The man’s a liar. Someone who can lie right to your face. Proves he can’t be trusted.”
Her first gut instinct was to rush to Cord’s defense. But that’s what she suspected Fowler wanted, so she refused to give him the satisfaction.
“Besides forcing him to take your money, what else did you say?” She thought he might argue, attempt to dispute the fact that he’d had to pretty much shove his money down Cord’s throat. She hoped he didn’t bother because no matter what he tried to make her believe, she knew the truth.
“Nothing much,” Fowler answered, abandoning all pretense at bewilderment. “We talked about you, naturally.”
If she could have reached through the phone and shook him, she would have. “What about me?”
“Well, let’s see.” Fowler cleared his throat. She could picture him, adjusting his tie and puffing out his chest. “We discussed what your life was like here at Colton Valley Ranch. I told him about your hope to start your own business, and I might have mentioned your beau.”
“My...what?”
“You know. Your suitor. Shane.”
“Shane Sutton?” This time, she couldn’t contain her disbelief. “You told Cord what about him? Hopefully the truth, that I despise the man.”
“Um, no. I don’t think I mentioned that.”
“What was your point?” she asked.
“My point?”
“Yes, your reason. For letting Cord in on all the supposedly wonderful aspects of my life at Colton Valley.”
“That’s simple. To get you to come home, of course.”
Beyond exasperated, Piper knew if she told Fowler everything, how Cord had sent her packing, he’d believe his little strategy had worked and that he’d won.
“Did you threaten him?” she asked as another thought occurred to her. “Mention you’d have him and his business blackmailed if he didn’t send me running back to the ranch?”
“Of course not.” Fowler sounded indignant. Then, as the implications of what she’d said sunk in, he chuckled. “He threw you out, didn’t he? Told you to run on back home and rejoin the lifestyle you were meant to have.”
Instead of answering, she employed one of Cord’s mechanisms. “Do you see me at your front door? I’m not home, I’m calling you. So whatever you hoped to accomplish, it didn’t work.”
“But you’re on your way, right?” Apparently, he didn’t believe her. “When should we expect you? I’ll let Whitney know. Honestly, we sure need your help in calming her down. She’s been a mess through all this.”
“I’m not coming home.” The instant she spoke, she felt the rightness of her choice. “Not now, maybe not ever. I don’t belong there anymore.”
“If this is because of when Marceline and I—”
“Partly,” she cut him off, not in the mood to hear whatever justifications he planned to cook up. “But mostly because I got a taste of how fulfilling life could be on my own, with someone I care about.”
“That bounty hunter?” With disgust plain in his voice, Fowler let her know how he felt about Cord. “What kind of life could he possibly offer you?”
“A life filled with love and respect,” she answered. And mind-blowing sex, though she didn’t mention that out loud.
“You might think so now,” Fowler insisted. “But over time, you’d come to resent him for not being able to offer you the sort of lifestyle and opportunities you have here at home. Where you belong. And apparently Cord Maxwell realized that, too, or I strongly suspect you wouldn’t be making this call.”
“You haven’t changed at all, have you, Fowler? You sound so smug and self-satisfied, so certain your way is the only way. You’re a lot like Eldridge. I’m guessing it hasn’t ever occurred to you that I might want to choose my own path in life.”
Finally, Fowler fell silent. She couldn’t tell if her words had finally reached him, or if he was just trying to come up with another argument to sway her to his side. In reality, she realized she didn’t even care.
“I’m done, Fowler. You may not realize, but the events you set in motion hurt me deeply.” She took a deep breath. “I’d hoped by you discovering love with Tiffany, you’d understand, but apparently not. Maybe you don’t really understand what love is. I’m not ever coming back to Colton Valley Ranch to live. As a matter of fact, I doubt I’ll be visiting there anytime soon. I’ll give Whitney a call and set up a lunch date somewhere, and of course I’ll keep in touch with T.C. and Alanna and Reid.”
“What about my engagement party?” The sharpness in his tone wasn’t lost on her. “Tiffany is throwing a huge party to celebrate. All the Coltons must be there or everyone will talk.”
Once again proving he cared more about appearances that anything else. “I’ll think about it,” she said, more to end the conversation than anything else. She hung up before Fowler could get in another word.
Though the conversation hadn’t resolved anything, she felt slightly better. Though her heart still ached, now that she had a sense of the why behind what had happened, she could plan for the future. Piper had never been a quitter. She believed in Cord, knew what they had between them had been real.
For now, time and distance would be the best thing. First, she needed to find a place to stay. No motel or hotel this time around. She wasn’t in hiding anymore and she remembered some seasonal cabins on Lake Whitney. This time of year, the rent would be cheap. She’d drive up that way and see if she could claim one for the next month.
Her phone rang. “Hey!” Renee. Judging by the background noise, she was at work in the bar. “Guess what? I just heard from one of the art schools I applied to. They’ve accepted me starting the spring semester!”
“Already? We were just going over your portfolio.”
“I know, right? The husband of one of my former art teachers is on the admissions committee. She not only put in a word, but she hand-carried my portfolio over. He put me on the fast track, and I’m in!”
“Congratulations! I’m thrilled for you. Have you talked to Cord yet?”
“No.” Renee’s voice was a combination of embarrassed and defiant. “I wanted to tell you first since you helped me apply.”
Which meant Renee had no idea Cord had sent Piper packing.
Piper’s stomach twisted. How could she tell her now and ruin Renee’s moment. She couldn’t. She simply couldn’t.
“I’m very proud of you,” Piper said firmly. “I think you should call your uncle, too.”
“I will. But it just got busy in here, so I need to go. Maybe I’ll wait until I get home or if he’s asleep then, I’ll tell him in the morning.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Piper ended the call, her stomach twisted again. She felt like she’d lost more than just the man she loved. She’d come to care for Renee like a daughter. Piper hadn’t been the only one to feel that way, she knew. More than anything, Renee wanted the three of them to become a family. And now their little mismatched household was in pieces.
*
Several drinks in and Cord didn’t feel any better. If anything, with the bourbon souring in his gut, he felt worse. Especially with the old-school country music playing on the satellite radio. Even Truman had abandoned him, choosing to sit outside on the front porch, apparently waiting for Piper to return.
Which she wasn’t. His poor dog was doomed to be disappointed.
Switching the station to classic rock, he continued to drink, bourbon on the rocks at first, and then straight up, hoping he could numb his pain enough to pass out long before Renee got home from work.
Her headlights hitting the front window disabused him of that notion.
Blearily, he glanced at the clock. Since he’d turned all the lights off but one, he had to squint to make out the time. Sure enough, eleven o’clock was way too early for Renee to get off work.
At least
if it was someone else, Cord didn’t plan to answer the door. He didn’t even bother to turn the music down. Too much of an effort. In fact, he wasn’t sure he could get up off the floor. Which would be fine. He could sleep there just as well as anywhere else.
Renee walked in, humming under her breath. “It was slow tonight, so they let me come home.” She caught sight of Cord. “Are you all right?”
He used the bourbon bottle to salute her. “Better than I was earlier.” Wincing, he realized he’d slurred his words.
“You’re plastered.” Without waiting for a response, she went around the room, first turning off the stereo, then turning on lights. “Did you and Piper have a fight?”
He nodded, then shook his head. When he did, the room spun, which pissed him off. “It’s been a long time since I drank this much,” he said, taking another swig, this time directly from the bottle.
“That’s probably a good thing.” Renee surveyed the trashed out room. Earlier, Cord had given in to a fit of fury and swept everything from the coffee table to the floor. She crossed to him and removed the bottle from his hand. “I think you’ve had enough.”
“No. I haven’t. I’m not passed out yet.”
“Give it time,” she drawled, sounding so much like his sister that he got an ache in the back of his throat. “Where’s Piper?”
“Who knows,” he managed to respond. “But she ain’t coming back.”
“What?” Digging out her phone, Renee made a phone call. He suspected to Piper.
“No answer,” she told him, sliding her phone in her back pocket. “I’ll try again later.”
“Don’t.” He tried to stand, finally managing by grip the side of the couch and using it to pull himself to his feet. “I’m sorry you had to see me this way. I’d hoped to be in bed oblivious to the world by the time you got home.”
“It’s okay.” Her sad smile struck him as brave. “We’ll figure all of this out in the morning, when you’re sober. Come on, let me help you get to your room so you can go to bed.”
The next morning, loud banging from the kitchen woke him. Wincing at his killer headache—what had he expected after consuming so much bourbon?—Cord sat up in his bed and waited for the room to go back to steady.
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