by Sandi Lynn
“I’m listening,” he spoke.
“It was nine thirty p.m. and we were on our way home from the Santa Monica Pier. That’s where I wanted to go for my birthday. We spent a few hours there, walking around, riding the rides and eating all kinds of junk food. The minute we got in the car, it started to pour rain. My mom told my dad to wait until it let up, but he said, ‘We’ll be fine. We need to get our birthday princess home. She had a long day.’ We were driving down a two-way road. I remember sitting in the back seat watching the windshield wipers go back and forth as fast as they could trying to clear the rain from the window. My mom was telling my dad to pull over because he was having trouble seeing the road and she was scared. So he did. I told my parents that I wanted to go home, and my dad turned around, smiled, and said as soon as God was finished watering the land, we would. My mom reached over to take off her seatbelt because she needed to get something from her purse that was on the floor. It was hard enough for her to bend over as it was because she was eight months pregnant. My father told her to stay buckled and that he would get it for her, so he took off his seatbelt, and when he reached down to get her purse, there was a crash from behind. A force so hard that it flipped our car.
“I screamed as we rolled, and I shut my eyes as tight as I could. Then the car suddenly stopped as soon as we hit a tree. I opened my eyes, and at first, everything was blurry. But soon enough, I regained focus and realized the car was upside-down. I looked in the front seat, the windshield was shattered, and my dad wasn’t there, but my mom was. I called her name over and over again, but she wouldn’t answer. I unbuckled my seat belt and carefully climbed out the back window that was shattered. I ran over to my mom’s side and got down on the ground. Her arm was hanging out the window, so I felt for a pulse and she was still alive. I tried to wake her. I begged her to wake up, and finally, she opened her eyes. She looked at me weakly as blood was running down her face.
“‘Grace, where’s Daddy?’ she asked in a panicked tone.
“‘I don’t know. He’s not in the car,’ I cried.
“‘I need you to go find him and make sure he’s okay. Help will be here soon. Go, Grace. Go find Daddy. I’ll be okay.’
“‘No, Mom, I can’t leave you,’ I cried.
“‘I’m fine here. Your daddy might need help. Go, Grace. Go now. Everything’s going to be okay,’ she spoke as the tears flowed from her eyes.
“I stood up and looked around and that’s when I saw him lying on the ground a few feet away from the car. I ran over to him just as another car pulled over and a man got out asking if we were okay. He said he called 911 and that an ambulance was on its way. I looked down at my dad, who was lying unconscious with a gaping wound in his abdomen and blood pouring out of it. I remembered the ABCs. Airway, Breathing, Circulatory/stop the bleeding. He wasn’t breathing, so I did CPR and he regained consciousness. The man who called 911 ran over to me and asked if I was okay as he stared down at my dad. I yelled at him to help my mom. I looked at my dad’s abdomen and knew I had to try and stop the bleeding. I had a zip-up hoodie on over my shirt, so I took it off and applied pressure to the wound with it. I knew if I moved, he would bleed out and die.”
“How did you know to do that? You were only ten years old,” Jamieson asked.
“I remembered reading about it in one of my parents’ medical books. Two ambulances pulled up and the paramedics ran over to me and my dad and another one to my mom. I told them I performed CPR and that he was bleeding out from his abdomen. They told me to let go and they would take over, but I couldn’t. I refused, and I screamed and cried until they listened. So one of the paramedics placed his hand over mine and kept it there all the way to Cedars-Sinai. My dad kept telling me not to be afraid and that he was going to be okay. But I knew he wouldn’t be. Don’t ask me how I knew. I just did. He kept telling me how brave I was and how proud he was of me. When we arrived at the hospital, Renata was there. She was a fifth-year resident on call that night. Not too long after my dad was taken inside, the other ambulance with my mom pulled up. I stood in the hallway, my clothes and my hands covered in blood, outside both of their trauma rooms as the doctors and nurses scurried to save them. They called time of death on my mom first. My body went numb. I looked over to where my dad was, and he had just coded. I stood there and begged them not to let my dad die. The doctor tried for twenty minutes to bring him back, but he couldn’t. So he called time of death. It was in that moment, that very moment, when both my parents passed away, I knew I wanted to be a trauma surgeon. Renata took me to the bathroom and cleaned me up. She told me that I was so brave for doing what I did for my dad and that I’d make a great doctor someday.”
“My God, Grace.” Jamieson reached over and placed his hand on mine. “I can’t even imagine what you went through. You were just a child.”
“You had asked me once why I chose trauma. Now you know the reason why. I wanted to save lives. I didn’t want anyone else to feel what I felt that night.”
“That’s why you did what you did for that little girl’s father that day,” Jamieson spoke. “She reminded you of yourself. That’s why you fought so hard to save him.”
“Yes. All the memories of that night came flooding back and I wasn’t about to let her lose two parents like I did.”
“And you calling out time of death in your sleep. That wasn’t from all the times you called it on your patients. It was the memory of your parents and that night.”
“I hadn’t had that dream in many years until I came back to Los Angeles. I should have died with my parents that night, but I wasn’t even hurt. I didn’t have a scratch on me.”
He wrapped his arm around me, pulled me into him, and softly pressed his lips against the top of my head.
“When Mr. Samson came in with that gun, I wasn’t about to let him hurt anyone.”
“Why did you come back here, Grace?” he asked.
“It was time. Time to face it all and put it to rest. Sam gave me the reason to do it.”
“Did you truly and honestly love him?” he asked.
“My Aunt Cora said I didn’t, but I thought I did. He was the only guy that stuck around with my hectic schedule. He understood and never got mad when I had to cancel dates because I was either on call or in surgery. Being a trauma surgeon in the ER isn’t flexible. He told me he’d always wait for me.”
“And you never suspected once he was married?”
“No. Because I was too wrapped up in the thought that he loved me enough to put up with my work. No other man could or would. He worked on Wall Street and had an apartment on the Upper West Side. He was there Monday through Friday, but on weekends, he would go to his Connecticut home, which he told me was where his mother who had Alzheimer’s lived and was being taken care of by a homecare nurse. He would go there on the weekends and take care of her. Little did I know it was all a lie.”
“And he never took you to meet his mother?”
“No. He said she was so far gone and living in the past that she didn’t even know who he was, so there was no point for me to meet her.”
“How did you find out he was married?”
“He had spent the night at my place, and I had just gotten home from the hospital around two a.m. His coat was lying on the chair and I heard his phone going off. So I went in his pocket and took it out to see if it was an emergency. Except it wasn’t the phone that he used when he was with me. It was a different phone. Someone named Rachel kept calling and I just knew something wasn’t right, so I took the phone in the bedroom, woke him up, and told him that Rachel was calling him. When he looked at me, all I could see was the fear in his eyes. I wouldn’t give him the phone until he told me who Rachel was, and if he didn’t, I would answer it myself. He panicked and started yelling at me, saying if she was calling in the middle of the night, it had to be an emergency and to give him the phone. So I handed it to him and he answered it. He jumped out of bed and got dressed. He told me that Rachel was his wife and that
his daughter was rushed to the hospital with severe stomach pains and that her appendix ruptured, and he had to drive home to Connecticut. Then he walked out and left me standing there in total shock. A few days later, he came back, and I let him explain himself because I wanted to know how the fuck I was so stupid and didn’t know. He begged and pleaded for me to forgive him and that he was going to tell his wife everything and divorce her. He said that he wasn’t in love with her anymore and he only wanted me. I knew he was lying, and I knew I needed to get out of this situation and make a plan. So, I told him to give me two months to process everything and to think about it and think about us. I told him that if he truly loved me, he would respect my wishes. I needed the time to prepare, and that’s what I did. I called Renata and she hired me on the spot. I gave notice to my apartment, made living arrangements here, and little by little, packed everything up.”
“Wow. What a total douchebag. I’m sorry he did that to you.”
“Me too. I was so angry at him for deceiving me the way he did. But you know what the worst part was?” I lifted my head from his shoulder.
“What?”
“I wished he was dead. I save people’s lives for a living, but I wished he was dead for what he did to me.”
“It’s understandable, Grace. The man lived a double life for over a year. He hurt you in a really bad way.” He placed his hand on my cheek. “But you need to put all that behind you. You’re a survivor and you’re strong.”
My eyes stared into his as I took the blanket off me and wrapped it around the both of us. I was swept up in the moment. Swept up in his concern for me and his gentleness. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed him. I didn’t want to need him, but it was something I couldn’t control. I placed my hand over his, which was still resting on my cheek, and tilted my head.
“Is it okay if I kiss you?” he whispered.
“Yes,” I replied.
Chapter 35
Jamieson
I leaned in and let my lips softly brush against hers. No matter how bad I wanted to, I wasn’t rushing it because chances were that she’d leave me with a bad case of blue balls.
“Really?” She pulled back.
The corners of my mouth curved upwards.
“I’m not getting all worked up only for you to tell me no.”
“I’m not saying no. I’m saying yes.” She smiled as she pulled the blanket tightly around us.
“Okay, then.”
My mouth smashed into hers and our lips tangled beneath the moonlight.
“I think we better get inside,” I spoke.
“Yeah.” She smiled as she placed her forehead against mine. “I think we better.”
I swooped her up in my arms and carried her back to the house. My cock was hard and throbbing to be buried deep inside her. The bedroom was too far away, and I couldn’t wait anymore, so I set her down in the kitchen as our lips stayed locked while we quickly removed our clothes and then made it to the living room couch. She pushed me back into a sitting position and climbed on top of me, taking my cock inside her inch by inch. My hands roamed her breasts as our tongues danced to the rhythm of our beating hearts. Sounds of ecstasy escaped her as her body tightened and she came. I threw my head back as I held down her hips and exploded inside of her. She rested her forehead against mine and we stayed locked together for a few moments while we regained our breath. She climbed off me, grabbed her clothes from the floor, and headed towards the stairs.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Going to bed. I’m exhausted. Good night.”
“Good night? Really?”
I sat there in confusion as I watched her naked body go up the stairs. Sighing, I got up from the couch, pulled on my underwear, grabbed my clothes, and went up to my room. I paced back and forth a few times before I finally walked down the hallway and knocked on her door.
“Come in,” she spoke.
I walked over to the bed, grabbed her hand, and pulled her up.
“Umm. What are you doing?”
“You’ll see. Come with me.” I pulled her behind me.
“Jamieson,” she spoke.
I led her to my room, pulled the covers back from the other side of the bed, and told her to get in.
“You’re sleeping with me tonight. Understand?” I spoke in a stern tone.
“Okay. Fine. I’ll sleep in your bed.”
We both climbed under the covers and she rolled the other way.
“Head on my chest, now!”
She turned and looked at me with a strange look across her beautiful face.
“I said now,” I softly spoke.
She snuggled against me as my arm wrapped around her and her head rested on my chest.
“What has gotten into you?” she asked.
I swallowed hard.
“Nothing. I just think after everything that happened today, you shouldn’t be alone.”
“Well, thank you for your concern, but I’m okay.”
“Grace, you told a man to shoot you. You’re far from okay.” I kissed the top of her head. “Good night.”
“Good night, Jamieson.”
I was a surgeon. I healed people, and for some goddamn reason, I wanted to heal her. The only problem was that I only had room in my life to try and heal someone else. I needed to fight everything I felt for Grace, and I tried. I tried so hard that it became exhausting. She wasn’t like any other woman I’d ever been with, and I damn well knew it back in New York that first night we met. But it didn’t matter then because I was never supposed to see her again. She stirred and started calling out “time of death.” I tightened my grip around her and pressed my lips against the top of her head.
“Shh,” I whispered. “You’re safe now.”
Grace
Before the alarm went off, Jamieson’s pager started buzzing. As he went to grab it from his nightstand, I rolled out from under his arm and onto my side.
“I have to get to the hospital, which means you have to come with me since I’m your ride in.”
“Shit,” I moaned. “What time is it?”
“Five fifteen.”
He climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom. I lay there for a moment and thought about now what. Last night had been different between us. Different than it ever had been. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt like it was the start of something and it freaked me out. I still didn’t know anything about him. For fuck sakes, I was married to the man and knew absolutely nothing about his family. Except for his father, whom he had no qualms about telling me he didn’t like.
I climbed out of bed and went into my bathroom. I put a shower cap on my head and took a quick shower to wash my body.
“You better be ready in like five minutes. I have to go,” Jamieson shouted from the hallway.
Rolling my eyes, I threw on some clothes, ran a brush through my hair, and grabbed my makeup. On the way there, neither one of us spoke about last night. He pulled into the parking lot, parked the car, and we both headed into the hospital.
“Good morning, Grace,” Jackie spoke. “Why are you here so early?”
“Jamieson drove me home last night and he got paged, so I had to come in with him. I’ll be in the attendings’ lounge. I can’t treat any patients until I see Dr. Parker.” I rolled my eyes.
I had my appointment with Dr. Parker and he cleared me to treat patients, but on the condition that I see him once a week. I accepted and scheduled my appointments for the next month. As soon as I went down to the ER, the paramedics were bringing in a patient.
“I got this one, Jackie,” I spoke as I met the paramedics at the door. “What do we have?” I asked.
“Jane Doe, approximately mid to late fifties. Was found wandering the streets screaming out something about aliens coming for her. She’s highly agitated.”
“Take her to room two. Is she homeless?” I asked as I looked her over.
“I have no clue, Dr. Harper. Someone called and said she was displaying er
ratic behavior. She tried to fight us, so we had no choice but to restrain her.”
“Ma’am. Can you tell me your name?” I asked in a soft voice as not to frighten her.
“I have to get out of here. They’re coming for me and my son. I need to protect him.” She tried to get out of the restraints.
“Who’s coming for you and your son?”
“The aliens. They’re looking for us. They want to hurt us. I need to protect my boy.”
“Sara, I need a tox screen, glucose, and electrolytes, stat. Ma’am, can you tell me your name?” I asked.
“No. If I tell you, you’ll tell them, and then they’ll find me,” she spoke in a panicked voice.
“She’s psychotic. Page psych for a consult,” I spoke to Sara.
“It’s not safe here. I need to leave and go somewhere safe. I need to protect my son.”
“My name is Dr. Harper and I promise I’m going to protect you.” I smiled.
“You can’t. This place isn’t safe. They’ll come for you too.”
“It is safe.” I placed my hand on her arm. “The aliens can’t get in here. We have a special barrier they can’t break through. You’re safe here.”
My Jane Doe was dirty. Her hair was a mess and it looked like she hadn’t showered in days.
“Where is psych?” I asked.
“He’s with another consult. He said he’ll be down as soon as he’s finished,” Sara spoke.
“I need to find my son, Jamie,” she spoke. “I need to protect him. He needs me.”
She began to become even more hysterical, screaming and trying her hardest to get out of the restraints.
“Push two milligrams of Lorazepam with five milligrams of Haloperidol,” I spoke.
“You don’t want to wait for psych to get down here?” Sara asked.
“It’s taking too long, and this poor woman needs some relief.”
I walked out of the room and over to the nurses’ station while I finished documenting everything in her chart. Suddenly, something hit me like a ton of bricks. I ran back into the room and stood over her.