Betrayed

by Kritika Sharma

  “You will not help him anymore,” he ordered, clenching his fists in anger. I regarded his jealous request only for a second.

  “Oh don’t worry. He is just too handsome and attractive for my taste.” Smiling, I winked at him, and before he could react, I went and joined Sarv and Shiva, who were waiting for me a few feet ahead.

  “What did he want?” Shiva demanded scathingly as we walked towards our cycles.

  “He is jealous of Kunal and wants me to stop interacting with him,” I informed, and Shiva stopped me abruptly.

  “You will do whatever you please,” she ordered.

  “I told him he had nothing to worry,” Shiva let out an angry whiff.

  “It would be better if you did date Kunal. At least he is handsome!” she remarked, and Sarv laughed. There was something weird about his laughter.

  “Are you okay?” I enquired as I wrapped my fingers around Sarv’s arm. We were still in the cycle-stand, and Dev was eyeing us like a hawk.

  “Err… what are you doing?” Sarv muttered as he stared at his arm uncomfortably. Shiva too gave me a distasteful look.

  “Well, if I can tie a rakhi around this arm, can’t I hold it for personal security?” I demanded with a raised eyebrow. My words eased Sarv, and he stopped fidgeting.

  “Of course you can, I am always there for you,” Sarv assured me placing his hand over mine. Smiling I let go of him and hopped on my bicycle. For a moment I considered the difference between Dev’s touch and Sarv’s. Dev’s touch had always burnt me, earlier seductively and now venomously, but Sarv’s had always given me comfort. Maybe all boys were not evil; some were good too.

  “What?” Shiva demanded. Unintentionally I had been staring at Sarv vividly.

  “I feel that Dev is changing,” I digressed from my thoughts. Shiva gave me a murderous look, but Sarv cleared his throat.

  “As a matter of fact, he is! He stopped posting in the Slut Chronicles. And there is a rumor that he has really started liking you,” he informed us, and I gasped.

  “When did he last post in that folder?” I couldn’t help but spit at the word ‘folder’.

  “He had announced that he would the day after his return, but he didn’t,” Sarv informed to which Shiva added, “That’s because he has nothing to post. You didn’t spend any night with him or pass him any of your stupid notes.”

  “That’s true. But he also fought with Rahul the other day over you,” Sarv finished, and Shiva dismissed his suspicions as a ploy to sleep with me.

  “How can you be so sure?” I probed further, ignoring Shiva’s retorting look.

  “I know this guy for years Ishana. He is changing and I can bet my board results on it,” Sarv confirmed, and I found myself in a dilemma. Now what should I do?

  Unexpected Freedom

  Next fortnight passed a little too soon than my anticipation and before I knew it, our board exams were looming over our heads. Shiva ensured that Dev couldn’t interact with me in private. For whole fifteen days, Shiva slept with me in my home, and Dev, though he tried to come every other night, just couldn’t dare step in my house. Earlier it was usually me who left him notes, but now every day, I found a new note from him on my cycle. I responded to some and ignored many. I didn’t ignore because I was upset with him, but I just didn’t know what to write to his love declarations. To me, he was lying, but according to Sarv, he was getting serious. I didn’t know what to do with the information!

  If things were different with Dev, so were with everyone else. To thank my stars, soon I found myself free of my mother. My mausaji had a stroke, and my mother left with Rakshit to help maasi. Yes, it was unfortunate, but finally, first time in my entire life, I was free.

  With nobody to watch my comings and goings, I felt emotionally and mentally levitated. The benefit of ‘my mother-free home’ was that I was free to do whatever I want. My father left home early in the morning and came back only for dinner. Shiva’s mother was kind enough to cook for us, hence I started spending the whole day at her place and eventually started sleeping at her house too – good riddance from that damn window and all the excuses I had to give to Dev every other night.

  Another boon of staying at Shiva’s house was that I could wear all my dream clothes. I did not opt for her short tops or hot pants, but I went for simple jeans and long T-shirts. I was also finally able to let my hair breathe. My mother always forced me to tie my hair in a tight bun or a braid, but now I could let them loose. The first day with my remodeled clothes and free-flowing hair, every head turned in my direction. I was flattered with all the attention but tried not to enjoy so much. I didn’t want to live up to the stamp Dev gave me, that is, of Slut!

  “Err… can you sit with me, I am having some difficulties in Trigonometry,” Kunal came over and requested. It was break-time, and Shiva was pointing at how everyone, including Dev, was staring.

  “Umm… sure,” and with a sensual waist movement I slid out of my seat and sat next to Kunal. In my old loose salwar suits, my petite waist was nowhere evident. But in the jeans and t-shirt, well let’s just say now everybody knew how slim I really was.

  Kunal and I sat and talked all through the lecture and our teacher didn’t even complain. After all, Kunal was the golden boy. Dev was not happy with this development. He was furious, and I could feel his glare at my back. Post-lecture Dev tried to apprehend me but Kunal not just walked with me to the cycle-stand, he walked till home.

  “You should have seen his expressions.” Shiva was guffawing back home. Sarv and I stared at her amused. By her expressions and laughter, it was clear she loathed Dev.

  “He is freaking out,” Sarv added with a smile. Her laughter was contagious, and even I couldn’t help but laugh. We spent almost an hour laughing and mocking Dev when Shiva’s statement erased all traces of smiles, “By the way, I didn’t know you could flirt.”

  “What?” I asked abashed.

  “Who would have thought a simple girl like you could flirt like a pro,” she laughed again and I just stared. Was I flirting?

  “It’s okay. If your plan is to make Dev jealous than it is working. He is raging mad. Before coaching he mentioned that he feels like he is losing you,” Sarv added and my first thought was Dev lost me months ago! But I kept it to myself.

  Few days passed, and Kunal and I became good friends. Initially, he was always too weird when he talked to me, but eventually, that changed. He confessed to feeling intimidated by my beauty! I found that laughable. The more I talked to him, the more I realized that he was really dumb and him attempting for IIT was just that – an attempt! We wondered how come the son of such a genius, Professor Khanna, could be so stupid, but well, genius cannot be inherited.

  Though Kunal was just a friend to me, I knew I was a little more to him. I tried to maintain a façade of the uninterested friend, but every time Dev was around, I found myself flirting. I would bat my eyelashes, laugh at his most nonsensical talk and sometimes, even touch him casually. No, it was not intentional, but somehow it happened. I blamed my subconscious state – it wanted Dev jealous. Also, Shiva forced me to sit next to Kunal every other day. And every time I did that, Dev’s jealousy reached next level. My flirtations had a three-fold impact – one, Dev was exceptionally jealous hence he was way too attentive towards me. As per Sarv’s recent report, Dev had crossed the level of crazy for me. Two, Kunal felt I was interested in him, and this was something I didn’t intend. It was the side-effect of what I was doing. I felt incredibly guilty for it. And three, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep Kunal out of my mind. He was kind, generous, caring, and adorable. Yes, he was not intelligent, but he was all the things Dev wasn’t. My condition was hopeless.

  A week post my mother’s departure and I found myself torn between the two boys. I felt there was a tussle between them with respect to who would talk to me and spend time with me. Shiva gave way too much leeway to Kunal because as per her, he was safe and good. She hated Dev, so anybody in comparison to him was
an angel!

  Dev and I continued to interact like always, but I started staying back to chat and discuss things with Kunal too. It began with five minutes, but soon I was spending more than an hour with him outside. Dev was furious. He hounded me and followed me everywhere. He was insecure and restless. His letters to me grew even tenser. He started writing how he was worried he was losing me or how he disliked when I spent time with Kunal. At first we thought it was his ploy, but soon Sarv confirmed that he had forcefully taken back all copies of The Slut Chronicles from as many people he could and now he was genuinely upset.

  “They gave it to him?” Shiva asked shocked at Sarv’s information. I was shocked too; boys who took pleasure in reading such filth were not the ones to hand it over politely –it was like a holy grail for them!

  “No! He went home to home and took the folders in the hopes of adding pages. They gladly handed them over, and then, he burnt them,” Sarv informed, quietly. I wondered, how many did he destroy?

  “How many boys handed him that wretched thing?” Shiva queried on my behalf.

  “At least twenty.” My heart sank at the number. Twenty? “But these twenty had been circulated ahead. Sorry Ishana, but I don’t know about them.” I wondered why he was apologizing. If not for him, I would have lost my life, my heart, my trust and my virginity to Dev.

  “I also heard him fight with his father; he defended you and asked him to call you with respectful names,” Sarv continued. Shiva gave me an inquisitive glance; she was still too worried about my feelings for him, but I didn’t care, the words ‘twenty and more’ were still ringing my ears.

  ‘Good,’ was my only response! I didn’t know how to react to this news. I focused again on the difficult trigonometry question I was trying to solve. But my concentration broke again as Kunal called at Shiva’s landline.

  “You gave him my number?” Shiva stared incredulously as she handed me the cordless phone. I gave her a casual nod as I took the call.

  “What does he want?” Sarv enquired the moment I disconnected.

  “He wants to meet before coaching. Do you think I should meet him?” I was worried. Would it be a stupid move to go and meet him? I had, sort of, started liking Kunal. And over time I had realized how different he was from Dev. Where Dev was rude and immature, Kunal was much more polite and sorted. He had his priorities right and wanted to achieve them no matter the cost. This difference was luring me more towards him and I was scared that if I continued to spend so much time with him, I might fall for him.

  Proposal & Declaration

  Shiva and Sarv were totally against my meeting with Kunal. I, however, decided to hear him out at least – it was only polite. So, an hour before the classes, I found myself standing in front of Kunal. I had dragged my friends with me, and they were standing and discussing some questions some feet away. Dev had seen me leaving early from Shiva’s house, side-effects of a small neighborhood, and had followed me too. I knew it, but he kept his distance and so did I. He was spying and I liked it.

  “Thank you for meeting me.” Kunal was breathing heavily in nervousness. He was pacing up and down. I couldn’t help but grab his arm to calm him down.

  “I wanted to say something,” he started as he nervously looked at my fingers wrapped around his hand. I could sense he had rehearsed his words many times. I just smiled.

  “I love you,” he blurted out, and I felt my hand and my jaw drop to the farthest extent. This was not what I was expecting! Only Dev had said those magical words to me in the past, and he too had taken forever to say them. Kunal, however, started the conversation with it.

  “I know it is out of nowhere, but I am madly in love with you. You are so beautiful, smart, kind, and intelligent, I just cannot stop thinking about you,” he spoke with folded hands. I looked around and saw Dev hiding at a distance; thankfully, he was out of earshot.

  “I am already in a committed relationship,” I spoke, and this time it was Kunal’s turn to be shocked.

  “What? Who is it?” He pulled his hair in agony. I wondered if he was faking; apparently everybody knew about my alleged affair with Dev!

  “It doesn’t matter and I am not ready for any new relationship as of now. My board exams are less than a month away,” I explained, ignoring my suspicions.

  He started to come closer, but I stepped back hastily. I had a feeling he was about to hug me or maybe worse, kiss me. I drew out my arm and ordered sharply, “distance please.” He stopped. Ever since Dev’s betrayal, I had serious issues with proximity with men. The only boy, apart from Rakshit, who could come close to me was Sarv, and to me, he was my second brother.

  “Fine, then why are you luring me?” he accused, but his tone was soft and solemn. I would have taken offense to his words, but I could see misery on his face.

  “Luring?” I was shocked.

  “Yes, the way you look and smile at me. The way you talk, spend time with me and even hold my hand.”

  “Like friends.” I cut him off mid-sentence.

  “No, it’s not the way you talk to your friends, there is more.” He insisted. And maybe there was, I thought.

  “I am in a very complicated relationship, Kunal,” I added sadly.

  “Then leave him,” he offered, “and be with me. I love you and will never harm you in any way. Even Dad adores you.” He smiled, but I was shocked at his last words. Had he discussed me with his father? I chose to ignore this burning question.

  “It’s much more complicated than that. But maybe I will tell you about it soon,” I offered, and a smile spread across his face.

  “Just say that you like me at least.”

  “I do like you.” I smiled too. “What’s there not to like in you?” And he grinned at my last words.

  “In that case, I am content with your friendship until then.” And he offered his hand for me to shake.

  “Friends.” And we shook on friendship forever. However, his touch didn’t give me vibes of friendship. Instead, it made my heart flutter and beat faster.

  Well, maybe he was my Prince Charming! I thought and stepped into class.

  My meeting with Kunal came across as a revelation to Dev. That day in class, he confided in Sarv that he had never imagined he could be so insecure and jealous of any other boy because of me. Sarv fueled his insecurity by listing all the positive aspects about Kunal – some were true, and some were totally made up.

  “What were you doing so early here?” Dev demanded after the lecture. He was infuriated, and I was enjoying it to my core.

  “What?” I pretended innocence and played with my hair flirtatiously. He gawked at my gestures and scanned around. We were alone.

  “I saw you with Kunal, is there anything going on between you two?” He tried to extort a confession by giving me a threatening look.

  “How dare you?” I was angry at his allegations.

  “I saw you talking to him, why did you hold his hand? What is going on between you two? Did you get a makeover because of him?” He pointed from my head to toe with his index finger. I resisted twisting it.

  “I could hit you for accusing me. What do you think I am? A slut!?” It was twice that I had uttered the word ‘slut’ in front of him; involuntarily he took a step back. For a second, he felt I knew the truth, but then he decided otherwise. Obviously…

  “No, of course not.” His hastiness gave him away.

  “He is just a friend,” I spoke and started walking. I didn’t bother giving any explanations. I loathed him in that moment. Whether he loved me now or not, he had tarred my reputation forever!

  “I don’t like him, stop spending time with him,” he ordered as he walked with me. I raised my eyebrows in a questioning look, so he added quickly, “He makes me nervous, please.”

  “He is my friend, I can’t break up with everyone because they make you nervous,” I mocked lightly and it was clear that my words broke his heart and expectations. I savored the moment for a few seconds, then continued, “I love you Dev, and
I am with you. Our distance is only temporary; I want to concentrate on studies. Once board exams are over, I am all yours.” I winked, and he smiled. I felt his body relax.

  “I love you more than you know, Ishana,” he spoke, grabbing my fingers and squeezing them. I wanted to shirk from his hand, but I controlled my urge. I smiled. “Ever since I came back, I think I have fallen in love with you all over again, please never leave me,” he begged, sincerely. I patted his hand and took back my fingers. If he had spoken those words two months ago, I would have had sex with him then and there, but today, no words could change what he did. I hated him; more than he or anybody knew…

  Kunal and I

  A game of push and pull began from that day. That day both Dev and Kunal declared their love for me, and also their hatred for each other. The friction between the two was at an all-time high, and both tried to gain my attention and sabotage my relationship with the other. This tussle between them was immensely frustrating for me, but Sarv and Shiva both enjoyed it.

  “You are like those seductresses who lure men into their lair!” Shiva mocked me one evening when I was complaining about the latest row between my both suitors. I stared at her with fury. Seductress? Really?

  “Why are you complaining? You are the luckiest,” Sarv retorted at my look.

  “How am I lucky?” I asked, exasperated. Being deceived by your one true love was not lucky!

  “You are loved by two, and some people don’t even get the attention of one,” he sighed, as he looked at Shiva. Shiva was now pondering hopelessly over her Chemistry book. Both Sarv and I knew Chemistry was her weakest subject and she didn’t understand a word of it.