by Hart, Rebel
I rolled through campus and parked my car. I heaved my bag out of the back and stowed my phone away in my back pocket. With my headphones in my ears, still listening to lectures, I made the trek across campus. Breaking a sweat in my jeans and my long-sleeved shirt just to get back to my dorm room before night fell.
And hopefully, before the bikes came out. So I could catch an unimpeded glimpse from my dorm room window.
You’re hopeless, Dani.
I dragged my things into the elevator, huffing and puffing for air. I pressed the button for the top floor and closed my eyes, ready to be back in the safety of my dorm bed. The only other place I felt even remotely comfortable was in my dorm room. And as terrible as it sounded, I hoped and prayed Hannah wasn’t in there.
Because I knew she’d try to drag me off to some party.
“Please don’t be there. Please don’t be there. Please don’t be there.”
I breathlessly chanted it down the hallway as I came to my room. I threw the door open, my heart sinking when I found it unlocked. I dragged my bag in and pulled the headphones out of my ears, preparing myself for the onslaught of convincing she’d need to get me to go anywhere tonight.
The room was empty.
“Hannah?”
I pulled my phone out and paused the lecture recordings as I gazed around the room.
“Hannah, you here?”
I closed the room door and locked it for safe measure. Then I made a mental note to talk to her about leaving the door unlocked when she was gone. I hoisted my bag onto my bed, preparing myself to unpack. To dig around for my books and settle in for a night of studying in my pajamas while listening to more lectures through my headphones.
My eyes kept gravitating toward my laptop, though.
“Dang it,” I murmured.
I tossed my phone on top of my bag and dug out my laptop. I flopped down at my desk and quickly hooked it up to the charger I had forgotten to bring home with me. I knew if I didn’t do anything about it now, it would simply eat away at me for the rest of the night. Being back on campus heightened the memory of Max. Thoughts were already spinning about him, including that steamy kiss.
I brought my fingertips to my lips as my laptop chimed to life.
“All right. Let’s see what you’ve got for me,” I murmured.
My fingers flew across the keyboard as I sat there, searching every keyword I knew that might come up with more information on Max.
Red Thorns.
Red Thorns motorcycle.
Motorcycle clubs in Ann Arbor
Max Red Thorns
Motorcycle gangs
The last search result was what yielded the most information to me. And even still, it wasn’t what I wanted. After clicking through articles and blogs with red cursive writing and even Wikipedia articles for crews and gangs and tattoo symbols, I knew more about the culture than I ever wanted to know. I learned about gang tattoos. How different symbols and different pictures meant different things. I learned about the hierarchy of crews like that. A president, a vice president, a club arranger and a road guide. Or something like that. I read about meetings they held, called ‘church’ or sometimes a ‘gathering.’ I learned about prospects and initiation and how men like this usually made money.
And none of what I read sounded good.
After two hours of reading through all of this stuff, my head spun with so many things. Initiation traditions and hazing. How to leave a motorcycle club and all the terrible things that happened to a person if they tried. Why gangs like this were stereotypically made of men and why they treated people the way they did. How crews like this came into being in the first place and how they funded themselves.
I didn’t get what I was after, though.
Which was more information on Max.
I rolled my lips over my teeth. I could still taste him, even weeks later. How was that possible? How was it possible to feel this way and be so obsessed with a man who called me names? With a man who entertained company like this? With a man who clearly lived outside the law--or at least within the gray area of it?
Why did he treat me so cruelly if he didn’t strike me as a cruel person?
I burned deep in my gut with desire for answers.
“Hey there, roomie! I was wondering when you’d get back.”
Hannah’s voice startled me and I slapped my laptop closed.
“Uh oh. What were we doing in here?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. Just some research.”
I looked over at Hannah and found her smiling salaciously at me.
“What kind of research?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not the kind you’re thinking of.”
“Ah, don’t worry. They don’t allow my favorite porn sites to stream on campus anyway.”
“That’s goo--wait, what? You watch porn? Seriously?”
She threw her head back with laughter. “Dani, everyone watches porn.”
“I don’t watch it.”
“You will eventually. You know, once you learn to create a bit of your own.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I don’t know what that means, and I don’t care to know.”
“So how was the time at your parents’ place?”
She pulled up a chair in front of me and I shrugged.
“It was nice. Restful. Got a lot of studying done.”
“And not looking at those porn sites at all. Right?”
I shot her a look. “Drop it.”
She held up her hands. “Fine by me. I don’t have much time anyway. I have to get myself a shower before I get ready for tonight.”
“What's tonight?”
“I’m going out with some friends for drinks. Rachel’s going to be there.”
I nodded. “Have a good time.”
“Yooooou… want to come with us?”
I shook my head. “I’m good. At least for tonight. The ten-hour drive was long, and I still have some reviewing to do before classes tomorrow.”
“At least you have afternoon classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”
“Right? Get to sleep in a bit after my wild night of studying.”
She snickered. “You’re a wild one, you know that?”
“I try my best.”
“Well, if you change your mind, just shoot me a text. We’re all going to be out pretty late, so no time isn’t good for us. I’ll let you know where we are if you want to hang out.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“Anytime!”
With a hum in her voice and a pep in her step, she gathered her things. Her towel. Her toiletries. Her robe. A few minutes later, she was headed straight for the co-ed bathrooms. I still hadn’t gotten used to that. Showering with both boys and girls in the same massive space. I tried to slip into the shower during off times. Like early in the morning. Or really late at night, after I had finished studying.
“Yep. Shower late tonight,” I whispered to myself.
I opened my laptop and forced myself to close the internet search. There wasn’t anything on the Red Thorns at all, except for a couple of off-handed comments in a few local newspapers. Nothing that highlighted them or shed any light on them. Or Max. So my time was better spent listening to these lectures again and hoping I could pull my head out of my behind before midterms crept up on us.
I didn’t even get the first one pulled up, though, before I heard that sound.
The revving of the motorcycle engine pulled me from my chair. I walked over to the window and peeked out, wondering who was down there. How many of them were down there this time? Three? Four? The whole entire gang of guys on their bikes? I glanced across the road and didn’t see anything, which was odd. Because I heard the motorcycle engine, and I knew whoever owned it was close.
Then a shadow moved at the bottom of my eye.
Two figures emerged from beneath the awning of the first floor. And when they stepped out into the moonlight, I smiled. I saw Max down there, with his towering form and his bro
ad shoulders, preparing another cigarette to be lit. And standing with him? Benji. That absolute jerk-off I never wanted to come into contact with again. Max struck a match and lit his cigarette, pulling on it hard. Then he passed the bundle of firesticks off to Benji, who struggled to light one.
I watched the way the cigarette lit up with every puff. How it dwindled toward Max’s face before exploding from his lips in a cloud of smoke. I’d never been jealous of anything before. But as I stood there, watching his lips pucker, I realized I was jealous of that cigarette.
You’re losing it, Dani.
I saw Max place his hand on his shoulder and roll it gingerly. And it ripped me back to that night. How deep that graze had been. How much blood I’d cleaned up. How badly he’d hissed with every swipe of that alcohol against his skin. He must still be struggling with it. At the very least, it was probably still bruised and sore.
“You should go check on him,” I murmured to myself.
Yeah. Just to check on him. Just to make sure he was taking care of himself. Then I’d come right back up and continue on with my studies.
Right after I changed into something I hadn’t been wearing for the past ten hours.
20
Max
“So, that’s what I was saying. Things could’ve been handled a lot differently, that’s all. I think I should’ve stayed behind with you, too. I still don’t know why you had me follow that stupid limo. You know the kind of shot I am. I could’ve helped you! I would’ve put a bullet in that club owner’s--”
I shot Benji a look as I took the butt of my cigarette from between my lips. I squished it under the heel of my boot, watching as he shut up. He clamped his lips over his teeth and stared up at me with wide eyes. I made a decision as I pulled another cigarette from beyond the inside pocket of my leather jacket.
I’d start distancing Benji from this life.
It wouldn’t be hard, either. The kid was already in college. Despite his attitude toward shit, he came out with all Bs last year. I was proud as shit the day he told me that. My cousin was destined for more than this life. Hell, I couldn't even pay him for the risks he had taken that night to keep Mr. Dean safe. It was a life I had to lead because of my father. My boys did it because they had no other choice.
But Benji? The boy was smart. The boy had choices.
Even if he wanted this kind of a life for himself.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Benji asked.
I struck a match. “You talk too much.”
“Do I dare ask why we haven’t gotten paid?”
I lit my cigarette. “Depends. What kind of answer you looking for?”
“Dude, have you talked to your--”
“Don’t. Ask.”
“What? You think I don’t have a right to know? You think none of us have a right to know? We’ve never waited this long to get paid for shit like this.”
“You wouldn't know. This is only your second time doing something like this.”
He snickered. “And after the shit I pulled on my bike to get that client back to his hotel room in one piece, I know it won’t be the last.”
I narrowed my eyes. “The hell does that mean?”
The sound of Rupert’s bike pierced the air as I sucked hard on my cigarette. Benji put his out on the ground, stomping on it with his foot. Trying to look all tough, when really he thought this lifestyle was nothing but loose women and big bucks. I rolled my eyes and took another drag from my cigarette. The nicotine and smoke were the only things keeping my pain levels down right now. Because this healing shoulder was a fucking bitch. If the bruise it left behind wasn’t throbbing, the wound itself itched. Not to mention how many times I had to slather that bitch in alcohol just to make sure it didn’t get infected.
Sometimes, even I hated this fucking life.
“Boys,” Rupert said.
He parked his bike on the curb and I walked toward him, leaving Benji and both of our bikes back near the dorm door.
“Hey, Rupert,” I said.
He pulled out a cigarette and I handed him mine. I watched him light his as Benji trotted up behind us. Rupert stared at me with a flat expression, one he always gave me when Benji was around. And I knew what he was thinking. The same thing he was always thinking when he didn’t want to say it.
Haven’t broken the boy’s heart yet?
Rupert handed my cigarette back to me and I took another drag. The anger I still had at how this job and shit with my father had gone down had me vibrating in my damn boots. I didn’t know how to approach the subject with anyone. At my brother’s insistence, I knew I had to tell them soon. I couldn’t keep ‘paying’ the boys out of my own pocket whenever they needed a loan or some shit. We deserved the money we were owed. All of us had plans for that money.
Which meant I had to find a way to get it. And fast.
“So, Rupert. You think I should be on the team?” Benji asked.
I glared at him. “Shut up.”
Rupert snickered. “What team? Ain’t no sports team around here, as far as I’m concerned.”
Benji rolled his eyes. “Dude, you know what I mean.”
Rupert mocked him. “Dude, shut up.”
I puffed out smoke. “Both of you shut up.”
They each looked at me with quizzical expressions and a furrowed brow before I looked at my cousin.
“You. Go.”
Benji blinked. “What?”
“Away. I need to talk to Rupert.”
“And you can’t say it in front of me?”
“No.”
He scoffed. “Why the fuck not?”
I glared at him. “Because it’s official crew business.”
“Well, if you just made me an offi--”
“Now,” I said hotly.
I took a step toward Benji and he held up his hands.
“Fine. Fine. I got better shit to do anyway.”
Rupert chuckled. “Like study.”
“Rupert,” I said curtly.
My eyes slowly panned over to him and I watched his grin fall.
“Yeah, Rupert. Damn,” Benji said, chuckling.
My eyes snapped back. “Don’t make me even up those injuries you’ve got.”
Benji snickered. “Whatever.”
And as he walked back toward his dorm room, I let out a heavy sigh.
“I take it you talked with your father?”
I tossed my second cigarette to the ground and kicked it away with my boot.
“What makes you think that?”
Rupert snickered. “A line like that. And the anger in your voice.”
I shook my head. “I really hate that man.”
He clapped me on my good shoulder. “You and me both.”
I felt sick with guilt as I watched Benji limp back to his bike. The boy was still in pain. We all were. All of us from that night. From that fucking week of work. I guess I could’ve paid the boy out of my own pocket to let it ride. But how did I explain that shit to the rest of the guys?
No, it was either all or nothing.
Because I had to protect my ass with them in all of this, too.
“What happened with Ashton?”
I sighed. “Nothing good.”
Rupert squeezed my shoulder. “Then why don’t you talk about it? I know you’re shit at that. But this is a special circumstance.”
I snickered. “Oh, really? And why’s that?”
“Because even after talking with him, we still haven’t gotten paid. Which means something really bad is happening right now.”
I nodded slowly. “I went to go see him today. With John.”
“John went?”
“He insisted he go with me.”
“That long of a meeting or something?”
I faced him. “No. I was that angry leaving the house.”
Rupert puckered his lips. “Oh, shit.”
I sighed again. “Apparently, our client isn’t happy with how things went down all week. He thought we cou
ld’ve tightened up the operation, and blames him almost getting killed on us.”
He blinked. “Are you kidding me?”
“Nope. Mr. Dean has announced he isn’t paying us for half-assed services, and my father agrees.”
“We didn’t half-ass shit.”
“You think I don’t know that? I told my father this is why we do the risk assessments for jobs. So I get the chance to decide what’s better for the club. He didn’t do the assessment, and I should’ve pushed harder.”
“Max, you know how your father is. When he doesn’t want to do something, he won’t do it.”
I growled. “Yeah, well.”
“Seriously. This isn’t your fault.”
“Well, because he thinks it’s our fault, we aren’t getting paid. At least, until I find a reason I can shove down that man’s throat to pay us.”
“Like?”
I shrugged. “I’ll let you know when I get there.”
I wanted to tell Rupert more, but I was shaking with fury. I needed to calm down. I reached for yet another cigarette and put it between my lips, ready to strike it up. I needed all the nicotine I could get. Fucking hell, I needed the gum to chew at night in the middle of my sleep, too. If I was lucky enough, the damn thing would choke me and I’d be done with this bullshit life.
Rupert’s focus shifted to something behind me.
“What the--?”
I turned around. “What?”
Rupert pointed, and I saw what he was looking at. I saw a pair of legs rushing for the curb as a mass of dark hair bounced around. I didn’t even have to see the person’s face to know it was Dani. My eyes whipped up to the dorm room and I saw the curtain of her window pulled wide open.
Fucking hell. I needed to find a better place to meet with Benji.
“What do you want?” I asked.
Dani came closer and the moonlight finally illuminated that beautiful face of hers.
“Hey there,” she said breathlessly.
I blinked. “What. Do. You. Want?”
Rupert chuckled behind me as her eyes danced along my body.
“I, uh, just wanted to come out here and make sure you were okay.”
He snorted. “Well, that’s my cue. Have fun with your little pet, Max. I’ll see you around.”