by Kasie West
“Do you have the key for this, too?”
“I do.”
“Wow. Stan really likes you.”
“Everyone likes me, Maddie.”
“I know.”
He laughed. “He told me that if we got hurt here tonight, though, he’d say we broke in.”
“Nice.” I climbed up and searched for the perfect horse. Seth went to a panel in the center of the ride.
“You ready?” he asked.
I held the pole and smiled his way. “Ready.”
He turned the key. Music poured from the speakers above and my horse lurched forward. Seth jumped onto the horse next to mine.
As the carousel went around I put my head back and looked at the sky. “I’ve never been here at night. It’s really cool.”
While Seth’s horse went down, mine went up. “This thing has a tight turning radius. I can see why kids barf after riding this thing.”
“Are you getting sick?”
“What? No, because that wouldn’t be very romantic.”
“Are we going for romance here on a kiddie ride?”
“No, not at all, why would we? Kiddie rides aren’t for romance, they’re for fun.” He stood up on his horse. “And for showing off.”
“Sit down or Stan will say we broke in.”
Seth slid off the horse to the metal floor beside me and leaned against my horse. His position didn’t work. The horse moved up and down, jostling him with each move. He smirked at me and as much as he probably thought he looked silly, he actually looked adorable. Our eyes were locked and just as I moved to take his hand, the horse shifted him again. Seth gave up and wove his way back to the control panel. The spinning slowed to a stop.
“There’s a garbage can ten feet to the right,” I said.
“I am not going to barf. And I know where all the garbage cans are. I work here.” He held out his hand for me and I took it.
“That was fun.”
“We’re not done, Maddie.” He led me across the way to the train. Each car was lit with more lights.
“You are the best, Seth Nguyen.”
“Usually without trying, but this time it actually took work.”
I smiled.
He sat in the conductor seat. In the car behind his were blankets and pillows. “All aboard,” he said. “Let me remind you of a few rules. Standing in the train is permitted. And if you’d like to hang your arms and legs off the side, please do so.”
I sat down and he pulled the whistle three times. He lifted the walkie-talkie from its holder and spoke into it, causing an echo effect with his real voice. “Here on the night train you will see no animals; they are all asleep. The cows, the rabbits, the ducks, the goats, the emus, the anteaters, especially the anteaters. But that’s not what the night train is all about. The night train leads to a magical place where magical things happen.”
“What kind of magical things?” I asked. I’d had a smile on my face since the second he showed up on my front porch and my cheeks were starting to hurt.
“Magic cannot be explained. It can only be experienced.”
The train rounded a corner and I could barely make out the tunnel up ahead. Its opening was completely black, almost creepy. I thought maybe he would’ve lit the tunnel as well, but he hadn’t. As the train went through it, the lights Seth had decorated the train with glowed off the white cement walls. Then the train slowed and stopped right in the middle of the tunnel. Seth stepped over the side and walked to the caboose.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
“What did I say about magic?”
“Okay, I’m waiting to experience it.”
He fiddled with something in the caboose and a bright blue light cut a path through the air above my head. I turned back toward the front, where I saw the light projected onto a sheet that was hanging from the far opening of the tunnel. I hadn’t seen the sheet there before. Had we not stopped, we would’ve gone right through it.
“Are we going to watch a movie?” I asked.
“Maybe.”
We had a projector at the zoo that was sometimes set up in the amphitheater. It showed educational movies. “About animals?” I asked.
“I guess you could call him a kind of animal … from a different planet.”
“What?”
Seth reached into the bag he’d brought and pulled out the biggest box of Reese’s Pieces I’d ever seen. “E.T.”
I laughed. “You are perfect.”
He blushed a little and climbed back into the front car, me still in the car behind him. The cars were small—kid-sized. They had two seats in each one, facing each other. So in order to watch the movie and both be facing the screen, we had to be in separate cars, but I so wanted to be in the same one as him. I wished we could sit side by side. He must’ve been thinking the same thing because he tipped his head back.
“I really didn’t think this through,” he said.
I reached forward and playfully swatted his shoulders.
The movie came onto the screen. I arranged the pillows and blankets in my own private car and got comfortable—I felt like I was in my cocoon in my room. This was by far the coolest way I’d ever watched a movie.
The movie was old, but charming. And E.T. was adorable. But with Seth in front of me, it was hard to pay attention. I was aware of every movement of his body down to the way he breathed. The movie was not even halfway over before I knew that if I was given a quiz on it when it ended, I’d fail miserably.
Seth turned slightly and said, “My grandma told me that if we watched a movie together, I could put my arm around you. I think my grandma might be smarter than me. She wouldn’t have set this up in a train no matter how magical.”
I put my foot up on the side, closer to him. Even if it was only my foot, I, too, felt the need for the distance between us to be minimized. “Does your grandma live with you?”
“Yes. She and my grandpa. It’s a multigenerational household. I know that’s weird.”
“That’s not weird. I don’t know why families don’t do that more here. I think it benefits everyone involved. It obviously made you awesome.”
“This is true. Plus, it saves money, for those of us worried about that.”
The mention of money made my insides twist. “Which is a lot of people. How is that going, anyway? Have you heard back from any scholarship applications?”
“Yes.”
“Really? That’s great.”
“I’ve only heard from the no group so far.”
“Oh. That’s not great. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. Let’s not talk about money, it’s my least favorite subject.”
“Mine too.”
“Yeah, I’d imagine,” he said.
His statement confused me. I thought about asking him to clarify, but we were already treading on my least favorite ground. We both went quiet and turned our attention back to the movie. After a few more minutes, he reached over and rested his hand on my ankle. Every nerve in my leg lit up. I tried to control my breathing so it wouldn’t echo in the tunnel during the quiet parts of the movie.
“Oh, screw this,” Seth said, and stood, startling me. “I’m coming back there.” He stepped across the back of his car into mine. “Can I fit?” he asked.
“What if I put some pillows on the floor of the car between the seats, then you can sit on them?”
He nodded and I moved some pillows. I had wanted him closer but this was almost too close. By the time we settled into our places, he was on the ground, between my knees, his arms resting over either of my legs, his head leaning back against me. I was sure he could feel my heart pounding against the back of his head. I was surprised he could hear anything over its beating. Was I supposed to still watch this movie?
“This is worse, isn’t it?” he asked quietly.
I gave a breathy laugh.
“Are you into this movie?”
“I stopped paying attention after the first Reese’s Piec
es reference.”
He turned around and looked at me. The light from the projector lit his face, his eyes. Those eyes seemed to be asking me a question and I wasn’t sure what it was, but my entire being was saying yes. I needed him closer. I reached forward but before my hands made contact with him, his were on my shoulders, pulling me toward him. Our lips collided. I gasped. His body pressed against mine, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist, stealing my breath. Our lips moved together and everything felt right. Seth was made to kiss me forever. I could live in this moment forever.
I threaded my fingers into his hair, deepening the kiss. The music from the movie rose in a crescendo around us, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Yes, I can see how magic needs to be experienced and not explained,” I said against his lips.
He laughed and pulled away, sitting back on his heels.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Sorry, it’s hard to kiss you when I’m laughing.”
“Thanks for this, Seth. For all of it. You really do know how to right a wrong.”
He smiled. “Can I admit something?”
“Of course.”
“That was just my excuse to take you out.”
I fake gasped. “What? You’re kidding.”
“I know. It’s shocking. I shouldn’t have lied to you.” The sparkle in his eyes always lit up when he teased me.
But a pit was forming in my stomach. I had been lying to him. Really lying to him. Not some stupid excuse that we both knew wasn’t true, but a serious lie. I needed to tell him before this went any further.
He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. Tingles went up my arm.
“As if my silly night could trump your experiences lately, anyway.”
“I need to … Wait … What?” My experiences lately? What did that mean? My mind raced back to what he’d said earlier when I said money was my least favorite topic: Yeah, I’d imagine. And earlier he’d said for those of us worried about it. Meaning, he knew I wasn’t worried about money. And when talking about college, he’d also implied I could just jump on an airplane whenever I wanted. I just thought he was saying it could be closer if I needed it to be, to comfort me, but he meant that literally. Even the other day when we had talked about lightning strikes he’d said something odd about me not testing my luck. And now, he was saying this. He knew. Dread poured down my body, drowning every good feeling from before.
“You know,” I said.
The light from the projector lit the tips of his hair. “Know what?”
“Seth, you know what I’m talking about.”
His eyes went down to our linked hands, then back up to my eyes. I untangled my hand from his and pulled a pillow to my chest, as if that would keep my heart safe. Everything was about to change.
“You weren’t saying anything, so I thought it made you uncomfortable,” Seth said at last, his voice quiet. “You were still the same Maddie to me.”
I nodded slowly. He knew and I was still the same Maddie to him. This was a good thing, right? Not a bad one. He knew and he still liked me. We didn’t have to have any more secrets. I let the pillow drop. The bottom of his T-shirt was brushing along my knee so I tugged on it a little.
He moved an inch closer. “I figured you were tired of talking about money. I’m sure it’s all you talk about anymore with people. And then I was burdening you with my family money issues and college drama. I guess I just figured you’d talk about the whole lottery thing when you wanted to.” He looked down at my finger that had a section of his T-shirt wrapped around it. “We’re good, right?” He kissed one of my cheeks, then the other.
The tension in my body was slowly draining when his words caught up to me. Family money issues. College drama. I let go of his shirt. “You need money.”
“What?”
“You need money. For college.”
“Yes. I do.”
“And you want it from me.”
“Yes, I— Wait … No!” He sat up on the edge of the car, taking one of my hands with him.
“How much do you need?” I was tired. I was tired of my friends all wanting something from me. Of strangers wanting things from me. Of family wanting things from me. Maybe if everyone was just up-front about it, I wouldn’t be so tired.
“I don’t want your money, Maddie.”
I tugged my hand free. “Don’t you? You’ve been talking about how you can’t afford to go to college for weeks now. Setting the stage. Now is the time you go in for the kill, right?”
His mouth opened, then shut. “I’m not allowed to talk to you about my problems?”
“I didn’t hear anything about these problems before I won the lottery.”
“That’s because we didn’t know each other very well.”
I stood up, the pillows falling to the floor between us. “Isn’t that convenient for you?” I climbed over the side of the car and made my way along the tracks toward the Farm. The farther I got away from the train, the darker it became. I tripped several times, unable to see clearly. I was halfway back to the zoo entrance when it occurred to me that I had no car.
I pulled out my phone and dialed. “Beau,” I said when he answered.
“Yes?”
“Come get me. I’m at the zoo.” Then I hung up.
“Maddie,” Seth called from behind me. “Will you just stop and listen for a second?”
I whirled around. “How long have you known?”
“My mom saw you on the news. She was so excited about a local teenager winning that she recorded it and asked if I knew you.”
“So you knew the whole time?”
“Why does that change anything?”
“Here’s the thing. Maybe you’re telling the truth about it not changing anything. Maybe you’re lying. I have no way of knowing. My own uncle swindled me out of half a million dollars. My best friends sold me out to a reporter for a few bucks … or maybe you did.”
“What? No. Of course I didn’t.”
“People are only my friends because of what I can do for them. I have no idea who to trust anymore.”
He took me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes. “Trust me. Trust this.” He kissed me. My body instantly reacted to him even though my brain was all over the place. I leaned in, answered back. Then just as quickly, I pushed away and ran.
My brother came screeching into the zoo parking lot. He was driving my car. It was the last thing I needed to see—a visual of how people were using me. When he stopped next to me, I walked around to the driver’s side and yanked open the door.
“Out.”
“I thought you’d want to sit in luxury and not in my crappy car.”
“You should’ve asked me.”
“I should buy a new car. Or maybe you should buy me a new car.”
“Out,” I growled.
Beau got out and I climbed in, so tempted to drive away without him. But I managed to control that temptation.
“Someone’s in a bad mood tonight,” Beau said, getting into the passenger seat. “Did you forget you were a multimillionaire? That would keep me happy for years.”
“Be honest with me, are you in debt again?” I asked him, ignoring his stupid comments.
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. Did you manage to spend a million plus?”
“How much have you spent?”
So that meant yes. I sighed. “I haven’t spent all my money, Beau. That’s the point.” I stomped on the gas, blazing through the parking lot. The feel of the car vibrating beneath me only seemed to fuel my rage. I saw Seth’s car in the rearview mirror and pressed down the pedal even farther.
“Maddie, slow down. You’re scaring me.”
I did, my eyes filling with tears. I needed to stop crying or I wouldn’t be able to drive.
“What happened to you?” he asked.
“I got a huge dose of reality.”
“Maddie, don’t let this jade
you. You’re too sweet.”
“It’s too late, Beau. Way too late.”
To add ultimate insult to injury, my week ended in the worst way possible. It came in the form of a little white envelope the next day. And inside that envelope were words that ripped out my heart.
We regret to inform you that UCLA has reversed the decision on your application. While your grades and community service have been stellar, our university also prides itself on students with upstanding character. Due to recent events that have been brought to our attention, we feel that you do not fit our standards at this time. Please feel free to reapply in the following calendar year and we will reassess your application.
I read and re-read the letter, trying to make sense of it. While on the surface it seemed like a form letter that many others had probably received, it also felt like a letter that only applied to me. Two things were hanging me up. The line: Reversed the decision. And: Events that have been brought to our attention. Reversed the decision. Did that mean I had been accepted at one point? And if something was brought to their attention, did that mean someone had informed them? Or they had seen the article. Had they seen the article? Were other colleges going to see the article, too?
I quickly pulled up the article on my computer. I hadn’t looked at it in a while and in my absence it had blown up. Hundreds of comments. Thousands of shares.
UCLA had seen this article.
A text came through on my phone. It was from Blaire. Our last acceptance letter! Congrats!
It was the first text I’d gotten from Blaire since our chat at school several days earlier where she accused me of trying to be popular. Was this her way of mending things between us? Or was this her way to make herself feel better about what she’d done? Whatever it was, it was definitely her telling me that she and her upstanding character had gotten into UCLA. My school.
I sent off a group text: Emergency meeting. My house. 30 minutes.
It was time to stop avoiding them and ask some serious questions.
I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. I needed to be strong and show them that what they’d done hadn’t broken me, but there I was, pacing in front of a couch full of people, tears streaming down my face. My parents had vanished to the far corners of the house when everyone arrived. Despite my friends’ reservations about her, I had invited Trina as well. I just wanted to get this out once and not have to repeat it.