by Cleary James
Grayson sighed, leaning back against the sink. He should have known something like that wouldn’t slip past his mother. She was trained to see trauma and damage; to spot the tiny, almost imperceptible cracks on an apparently smooth, flawless facade. ‘She was in a bad relationship when we ... when I knew her before, in London.’ He frowned, suppressing a shudder as he thought of the way he and Lisa had met when, without her consent – without even her knowledge – Mark had brought her to his house for him to fuck. As if she were his toy to share with whomever he pleased. He paled, his fist clenching at the thought of what he might have done to her that night if he hadn’t found out in time that she wasn’t a willing participant in Mark’s games. It still haunted him. ‘Really bad,’ he said.
His mother frowned, concern etched on her face. ‘Well, I’m glad she’s found you, then,’ she said, putting a hand on his cheek, her troubled expression clearing as she smiled fondly at him.
Grayson couldn’t help smiling back, her faith in him chasing away some of the shadows. He just hoped he could live up to it – that he could be good for Lisa.
When they had finished tidying up in the kitchen and said goodnight, he went upstairs. When he entered the bedroom, the doors to the deck were open and Lisa was outside, leaning against the railing, her back to him. She had changed into a short silky nightdress, the thin material shivering against her skin in the soft evening breeze.
‘Hello,’ he said quietly so as not to startle her as he stepped out onto the terrace. He stood behind her, placing his hands over hers on the rail, his body pressed lightly against her back. He dropped a kiss on her bare shoulder. She took a slow, deep breath, then let out a long sigh.
‘It’s so beautiful here,’ she said, gazing out to sea. The sound of the waves crashing below carried on the air.
‘It is.’ He lifted her hair, pushing it aside to trail soft kisses across her neck, her ear, her shoulder. He felt his cock stir as she shivered lightly against him, a soft moan escaping her lips as he nibbled her earlobe. His hands drifted slowly to her breasts, cupping their soft weight in his palms, her nipples hardening beneath the thin material as he stroked them gently. Christ, he wanted her so much.
Overtaken by a sudden desperate ache for her, he slid a hand between her legs gratified to find she was already wet. Knowing she wanted him too caused a surge of excitement deep within him, that set his pulses racing. She gasped softly as he slid a finger inside her. Her breathing deepened, her hands tightening on the railing as he stroked her slowly, languorously while he pressed soft, wet kisses on her neck and shoulders. She trembled in his arms, moaning softly as he pumped two fingers inside her. He quickened his pace, her skin hot and feverish as he sucked and nibbled on her neck and ears. She cried out as his fingers found her clit, rubbing the sensitive nub until she was gasping and moaning with pleasure. His heart pounded as he felt her excitement mount to a climax, and he kept up the pressure until her knees buckled and she sagged, shuddering in his arms, crying out her release. Her sticky arousal coated his fingers as she came, and he tightened his arms around her to hold her up as wave after wave racked her body. When she stilled, he withdrew his fingers and turned her to face him.
Her face was flushed, her pupils wide and dark with desire. The need to be inside her, to bury himself in all her warmth and softness, was overwhelming.
‘Lisa,’ he whispered, reaching down to grab the hem of her nightdress. But he felt her stiffen as he lifted it, pulling it slowly up her legs. He stilled, the material bunched in his hands. Her breathing was shallow, her eyes darting around nervously.
‘We’re not overlooked here,’ he said, his voice husky with desire. He looked at her questioningly, asking for permission. ‘Please,’ he said when she hesitated. ‘I want to see you.’
He held his breath as she bit her lip uncertainly, still hesitating. And then, miraculously, she looked up at him and nodded quickly, her eyes urgent with need.
He pulled the silky material slowly up her body, his fingers playing lightly over her skin. He took it off over her head and dropped it on the deck at their feet, and then he just stood back and gazed at her, letting his eyes drift leisurely over her, drinking in the perfection of her naked body. Moonlight played across her skin so it appeared almost translucent as his gaze lingered on her soft, rounded abdomen and the curve of her hips. Her breasts were swollen with desire, the pink nipples hard and taut. She had always been beautiful, but now she was a goddess. Her body was full and lush where before it was all flat plains and sharp angles, the bones and hollows replaced by soft curves.
‘I want you so much,’ he said, his voice thick with desire as he reached for her.
‘I want you too, Grayson,’ she said breathily. Her eyes locked with his and his heart leapt at her open unguarded expression. The frank desire in her eyes combined with those words on her lips affected him deeply. He swallowed a lump in his throat, incredibly moved and humbled that she could trust him enough after all she had been through to stand naked in front of him and tell him she wanted him. He felt privileged that she could allow herself to be so vulnerable with him.
Her hands went to the waistband of his jeans, her fingers fumbling in their haste as she undid the button, while he pulled his T-shirt off over his head. He quickly removed the rest of his clothes, and his skin flushed beneath her heated gaze. Then he pulled her into his arms, a deep shudder racking his body as his naked skin met hers. He bent his head to kiss her, and her mouth opened against his while his hands roamed over her body, exploring every inch, every swell and hollow. She was so soft and hot and wet. Their feverish breath mingled as their kisses deepened, tongues tangling as they devoured each other’s mouths hungrily. Then he lifted her and she wrapped her legs and arms around him, crying out as he sank himself inside her with a groan.
‘Mmm, I could stay like this forever,’ Grayson said sleepily the next morning. They were spooned in his bed, Lisa's back curled into his front.
‘Me too,’ she sighed. She turned to face him, yawning deeply.
‘Tired?’ He smiled, brushing a strand of hair off her face.
She nodded. ‘I didn’t get much sleep last night.’
‘Me neither.’ Grayson grinned. ‘And yet I’ve never felt so good. That was the best sleepless night I’ve ever had.’
They had made love endlessly, first outside on the deck under the stars, and later here in his bed, slowly and languorously, savouring each other. Grayson had held her hand as he moved inside her, groaning her name as he came.
‘I wish I didn’t have to go back to London today.’ He sighed, running a hand through his hair. ‘But I have a bunch of meetings I have to get back for tomorrow.’
She nodded understandingly, trying not to let it show how much she wanted to cling to him. This weekend had been wonderful, and she couldn’t bear the thought that it had to end. But she knew it wasn’t real life and it never could be. She and Grayson were worlds apart in every way. The past two days had been like a lovely holiday, a time out for both of them. She would just enjoy it for what it was, and savour it as a precious memory when Grayson was gone.
‘I didn’t know if I’d even find you,’ he murmured, a finger tracing a pattern on her shoulder. ‘And if I did, I didn’t know if you’d want to see me. I wasn’t expecting ... this.’
‘Neither was I.’
‘So what happens now? Can I see you again?’
She tried to ignore the frantic leaping of her heart. She needed to be sensible about this. There were so many reasons why it wouldn’t be a good idea for her to get involved with Grayson. If only he was on the same page as her – then she’d say yes in a heartbeat. But she knew that he wasn’t, so it was better to stop this now before she got in any deeper. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea,’ she said, lowering her eyes, unable to look at him.
‘Oh.’ She looked up and was shocked by his stricken expression. She hadn’t expected him to take it so badly.
‘Okay,’ he said. His jaw cl
enched, and she could tell he was struggling to cope with his disappointment. ‘I thought—I mean, last night—’ He broke off with a frustrated sigh.
‘Last night was lovely, Grayson.’ She bit her lip, struggling to find the right words. ‘This weekend has been ... perfect. But it was just a one-off thing, wasn’t it?’
‘It doesn’t have to be. I’d really like to see you again, Lisa. I guess I thought you felt the same way.’
‘I do.’ She sighed. ‘I’d like that too. But ... it’s complicated.’
‘How so?’
She shrugged. ‘We have ... very different lives. I live here, you live in London.’
‘That’s hardly insurmountable,’ he said, his features relaxing a little. ‘Yes, my work is in London. But I could come here at weekends.’
‘It’s a long way to come for a weekend.’
He shook his head. ‘Not for you. I’d go to the ends of the earth, Lisa.’
Her breath hitched as their eyes locked and held, taken aback by the depth of emotion in Grayson’s gaze. But it didn’t frighten her, like Mark’s intensity had. She knew Grayson would walk away and leave her alone if she wanted him to. She also knew she really didn’t want him to.
‘It’s not as if it’s another planet,’ Grayson continued. ‘And if it was, I’d just have to buy a spaceship,’ he added with a crooked smile. ‘People do the long-distance thing all the time, and over much greater distances.’
She really wanted to say yes, but she had to protect herself too. Could she handle a long-distance relationship with Grayson? What would it even mean to him? She thought of Isabel. Could she risk letting herself fall in love with him knowing what she did about his free-spirited attitude to sex? Would she be driven crazy with jealousy not knowing what he was doing all week in London or who he was with?
She bit her lip, scrabbling around in her brain for words that would make him understand. ‘I just think we’re very different people,’ she said. ‘We want different things.’
He frowned, tilting his head to the side. ‘Such as?’
Lisa shrugged. Because what could she say? She couldn’t very well demand exclusivity on the basis of two days together.
‘I think we’ve got a lot in common,’ Grayson continued when she didn’t answer. ‘We both like playing chess and surfing. We like being together,’ he said tentatively, looking at her questioningly.
She nodded. ‘I love being with you, Grayson.’
‘I don’t want to crowd you,’ he said earnestly. ‘I know you need your space, and any time you want me to go, just say the word and I’ll disappear. But what we have ... it’s too special to just let it go without even trying.’
She nodded, taking his hand. Who was she kidding? She was already in too deep with Grayson. She wanted to be with him any way she could be, even if it meant he had a whole other life away from her that she would know nothing about. Maybe the less she knew, the better. She could enjoy her time with him for what it was – make the most of having him at weekends and try not to think about what he did when he was away from her. When he was here, he’d be hers alone.
‘I don’t know about you,’ he said, ‘but this sort of thing doesn’t happen to me every day. I’ve never been—’ He broke off. ‘I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,’ he finished.
‘I feel the same, Grayson. This has never happened to me before either.’
‘So ... we’re going to do this?’ His face lit up hopefully.
She smiled. ‘Yes. Let’s try the long-distance thing. It might not work, but—’
His face cleared with relief. ‘We’ll make it work,’ he said. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. ‘I promise.’
Chapter Twelve
‘Where did you disappear to at the weekend? Katya asked her. It was the following evening and they had met up for a drink after work. The weather was still mild, and they sat outside a pub overlooking the harbour, sharing a bottle of wine. ‘We didn’t see you at all.’
‘Oh, a ... an old friend turned up unexpectedly on Friday and we ended up spending the weekend together.’ She took a sip of her wine. ‘I hadn’t seen him in ages, so we had a lot of catching up to do.’
‘Him?’ Katya emphasised the word suggestively, raising her eyebrows.
Lisa knew her answering smile gave her away, but she couldn’t help it.
‘Interesting,’ Katya said. ‘Tell me more.’
‘He’s just someone I used to know in London,’ Lisa shrugged. ‘We lost touch when I moved here.’ She smiled dreamily to herself as she thought of Grayson. ‘It was really good to see him again.’
‘You say old friend,’ Katya said with a sly smile, ‘but I’m getting more of an old flame vibe from you. Were you involved with him before?’
‘Not really. We were chess buddies mostly,’ she said, skirting around the edges of the truth. There was no way she could tell Katya the details of her twisted relationship with Grayson. ‘I guess we liked each other a lot. But we were both with other people at the time, so nothing could happen,’ she finished with a shrug.
‘But you’re not anymore. Is he single now too?’
‘Yeah.’ Lisa blushed. As far as she knew, Grayson was as single as he’d always been.
‘So you’re free to be more than chess buddies!’ Katya beamed delightedly. ‘And he came all the way down here to see you. It sounds like he’s smitten.’
‘Well, his parents live near Polperro. He stopped off here on his way to visit them.’
‘So what did you get up to at the weekend?’ Katya asked. ‘Apart from the obvious,’ she added with a grin.
‘You mean apart from playing chess?’ Lisa said with a laugh. ‘We went surfing. And we stayed over with his parents on Saturday night.’
‘It sounds pretty serious if you’re already spending time with his parents.’
Lisa shook her head. ‘It’s not – not yet anyway. It’s ... I’m not sure what it is, to be honest.’
‘New flame maybe?’
‘Yeah, maybe,’ Lisa said shyly. ‘We’re going to try the long-distance thing.’
‘Great! So when do we get to meet him?’
Lisa faltered, overcome by an inexplicable feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. ‘I don’t know. He’s coming back next weekend, but I don’t think we’ll be going out.’
Katya grinned. ‘You’d rather spend all your time together in bed?’ She wiggled her eyebrows mischievously.
Lisa laughed, relieved that Katya was letting it go. ‘Yeah, something like that.’
‘That’s understandable when you spend so much time apart. Long distance relationships are hard. Connor and I did it for a while, before we moved here.’ She took a sip of her wine. ‘But they have their compensations. The time you do spend together can be pretty intense.’
There were other benefits to a long-distance relationship, Lisa decided as she settled back into her normal routine for the rest of the week – working at the cafe during the day, painting in the evenings, spending time with her friends – the mundane rhythm of everyday life grounding her. She couldn’t wait to see Grayson again, but she didn’t want to spend all her time aimlessly awaiting his return, counting off the minutes until they could be together again. She wanted him to be a part of her life, not the whole of it. She had let herself be so consumed by Mark that her entire existence had revolved around him. If that was a tendency she had inside her, maybe this was an ideal situation for her. She would have no choice but to get on with her life during their time apart; to build a life separate from Grayson that had purpose and meaning. She wouldn’t be in danger of making him her sole focus and source of happiness.
Nevertheless, she couldn’t suppress her mounting impatience as the weekend approached. With their time together so limited, it didn’t seem unreasonable to let those two days be entirely given over to him. When Friday rolled around, she couldn’t contain her excitement any longer, and she felt agitated and jittery all day as she looked forward
to Grayson’s arrival.
‘Do you want to come to the pub tomorrow night?’ Martha asked her as they closed up the cafe. ‘There’s a table quiz in aid of the Search and Rescue, and a few of us are making up a team. You’re welcome to join us.’
‘Thanks, but Grayson’s coming for the weekend.’ She had told Martha about their fledgling long-distance relationship.
‘Well, why don’t you bring him along?’ Martha said with a smile. ‘We’d all love to meet him.
‘Thanks, but ... maybe another time,’ Lisa said. She felt awkward, but she really didn’t think answering trivia questions over pints in the local pub would be Grayson’s idea of a good time.
‘Yes, another time,’ Martha said briskly as she wiped the counter. Lisa thought she detected a false note in her breezy tone and hoped she wasn’t offended at her turning down the invitation. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Martha’s feelings.
‘Well, have a great weekend,’ Martha said, and to Lisa’s relief there was nothing forced in her cheerful tone now. ‘Have fun with your mystery man.’
‘Thanks,’ Lisa smiled. ‘I will.’
She went grocery shopping on her way home and stocked up for Grayson’s visit, spending more than she should on luxurious food, splashing out on fillet steak and smoked salmon, luxurious chocolate and cheese, crusty sourdough bread and a couple of bottles of the best wine she could afford.
She bumped into Katya as she made her way home, laden down with bags.
‘Hey, are you coming to Connor’s gig tonight?’ Katya asked her. ‘He’s playing at the Smuggler’s Rest. I could pick you up.’
‘Thanks, but Grayson’s coming tonight.’ She lifted her bags, indicating her shopping.
‘Why don’t you bring him?’ Katya said enthusiastically.
‘Thanks, but ... I think we’ll just have a quiet night in.’
‘Oh okay.’ Katya’s face fell, but she brightened again quickly. ‘I guess you’re not ready for the outside world yet.’