by Tara Sue Me
“Yes.”
“Out of curiosity, have you ever been a submissive?”
“Yes.” He nodded, but seemed entirely fixated on his task of washing her. “Early in my training, I spent some time with a Domme.”
Interesting. Maybe she’d ask more detailed questions about that later. “Do you think it helped you to be a better Dominant?”
“Yes, certainly.”
“I feel the same. In fact, I’ve often told Dominants that they should be in a few scenes as a submissive.”
He worked the body wash across her back, and she paused for a long moment, simply taking pleasure in the surroundings and what was happening. The steam. The hot water. Luke. It was a perfect moment, and she wished she could stop time to make it last longer.
“Is that what you were thinking about that made you laugh?” he asked. He’d moved on to her hair, and she closed her eyes as he massaged her scalp.
“That feels so good,” she said in a half murmur.
“That’s what I’m aiming for.”
He took his time washing her hair. She guessed because she’d mentioned how much she enjoyed it. His fingers worked magic against her scalp, and she actually groaned a few times. Who knew hair washing could feel so good?
“You’re incredible. I should pay you to come wash my hair every day.”
“Having you naked in the shower is payment enough.”
“You’re too easily pleased,” she teased.
“Trust me, I’m not. I just have a weak spot for you.” He gave her scalp once last hard massage. “Okay. Time to rinse.”
As he rinsed the shampoo out, she picked up the conversation again. “Anyway, like I was saying, I was washing your back and it hit me: why haven’t I thought about it working the other way?”
“The other way?” He was behind her, so she couldn’t see him, but she could hear the question in his voice.
“Right. The other way. If being the submissive in a scene or two can make you a better Dom, doesn’t it make sense that being the Top in a scene or two could make you a better sub?”
“Hmm. Interesting.” He didn’t say anything else for a while, and she appreciated that. It meant he was thinking it over, not just agreeing with her. “I think it might be more . . . I’m not sure of the word. Easy isn’t right. Practical is better, but not quite it either. Might be simpler for a Dom to be a submissive for a few scenes than the other way around. And simpler isn’t the right word either, but you know what I mean?”
She frowned. “I think so.” Then she had a flashback of Melissa and Master C, and she knew exactly what he was talking about.
“It may be harder for you to imagine since you’re a switch. But I’m trying to think of Abby being a Top.” He turned her around so they were face-to-face. “I can’t see it.”
“Me either, but let’s not talk about my employee when I’m naked and in the shower.”
He grinned. “Are you jealous?”
“Oh, hell no.” And she wasn’t. She didn’t think. “I’d just prefer not to bring other women into the shower with me.”
He backed her against the tile again, but his time, he lifted her left leg and hooked it around his waist. “There is no one else in this shower or in my thoughts at the moment. Just you and me and what I’m getting ready to do to you.” His fingers lazily stroked her wetness. “Do you believe me?”
“Yes, Sir.” She bit the side of her cheek as he pushed two fingers into her.
“Oh, fuck.” He sounded upset.
“What? What’s wrong?” She looked around, trying to find the source of his displeasure, but came up empty. After all, what could go wrong in the shower?
He sighed. “No condom.”
She almost told him it was fine. That she was clean and on the pill and that she trusted him. But she didn’t. She knew part of it was him protecting her, and she respected that.
“Damn it,” she said. “They’re right in the bedroom. In the nightstand.”
He grabbed her leg and kept it wrapped around him. “You’re not leaving this shower.”
“But the condom . . .”
“Can wait.” The look in his eyes kept her from arguing further. “I’m going to get you off with my fingers, and then you’re going to kneel here in the shower so I can come in your mouth. We’ll dry off, and then maybe we’ll see about finding those condoms.”
He didn’t wait for her approval, but slipped two fingers inside her, pressing against her G-spot. Which effectively put a stop to her ability to say anything. She was thankful he had her back to the tile, because she knew her legs weren’t enough to support her.
“Yes, oh, oh,” she panted as he pumped his fingers in and out of her.
“That’s right. Come on my fingers.” With every inward push, he stroked that sensitive spot deep inside, and she couldn’t have held back her orgasm if her life had depended on it. As she came, he leaned his head down to whisper in her ear, “You’re so damn sexy when you come.”
He only let her catch her breath for a few minutes before he pushed her to her knees. “My turn.”
She opened her mouth and greedily sucked him inside. Though she tried to set the pace, he fisted his hands in her hair and held her head still. “Feels so good in your mouth. I’m not going to last long.”
She didn’t want him to last long. She wanted to drive him so crazy with pleasure, he lost control and became unable to hold himself back. When he thrust into her mouth, she ran her tongue over his length, and once he was all the way inside, she tried to suck him deeper.
“Fuck, Meagan,” he said with a half moan the second time she did it. The third, he held still, deep in her mouth, and came with a hard thrust that brought tears to her eyes as she worked to swallow his release.
He was breathing heavily as he helped her to her feet. He looked totally spent, but gave her a sexy smile and turned the water off. Before getting in the shower, he’d hung towels nearby. She hummed in pleasure as he wrapped one around her and watched as he dried himself off.
“Ready to find the condoms?” she asked.
“You’re going to be the death of me—did you know that?”
She blinked innocently. “It was your plan. I’m just repeating it. But if you’d rather not—”
Her words were cut short by his lips taking hers in a crushing kiss. She’d brought up the condoms to tease him. The truth was, she could do with some recovery time as well, but his kiss rekindled her desire to have him take her again, and she melted into his embrace.
He finally pulled back. “You may be the death of me, but I’ll go with a smile on my face.”
Chapter Nine
The weekend of Dena’s baby shower was a bit chilly. Because she was on bed rest, the women agreed to throw the shower at the Parkses’ house. Since it would be an early morning and she didn’t live in Delaware, Abby invited Meagan to spend the night. Meagan had been to the Wests’ house in Wilmington only once before and she was surprised to see Lynne there. She had met the woman previously at the club, before Luke bought it. And while she had heard Lynne had moved away, she had no idea she was the Wests’ new nanny.
Nathaniel put the kids to bed early, and shortly thereafter, he went out with Cole and Jeff. As soon as he left, the women gathered in Abby’s kitchen. Abby got out a bottle of wine and three wineglasses and they all sat in the living room.
“What a surprise, Meagan,” Abby said. “I didn’t know you knew Lynne.”
“Yes, we knew each other before Lynne moved away.”
Lynne settled herself on the leather couch, tucking her feet underneath her. She took a sip of wine. “I can’t believe you remember me,” she said. “Simon and I only went out to the club that one time.”
“I remember you.” Meagan swirled the flavorful wine in her glass. “This is good, Abby.”
“Thank you,” Abby said. “It’s my favorite.”
Meagan turned back to face Lynne. “So why did you decide to move from New York?”
> “The law firm I was working at had a bad year. There were a lot of layoffs and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I’d always wanted to be a teacher and when I heard Abby and Nathaniel were looking for a nanny . . .” She shrugged. “I called Abby, met with her and Nathaniel. The next weekend, I met Elizabeth and Henry. They’re such great kids. And the rest is history.”
“Do you still want to go back to school?” Meagan asked.
“Yes, eventually, I think.”
“But not until the kids are in school,” Abby said with a laugh.
“This probably isn’t the right time,” Lynne said. “But I was thinking, if I could work on my teacher certificate some during the summers, I might be able to homeschool the kids.”
“That is such a good idea.” Abby drummed her fingers on the couch. “I’ll check with Nathaniel, to see if we can set something up in order for you to get your certificate.”
“Oh, thank you.”
“Now for a harder question,” Meagan said.
“Is this about Simon?” Lynne asked.
“I was just wondering what happened. I rarely saw him with anybody before you, and I haven’t seen him at all the last couple of months.”
Lynne hesitated before replying. “He said he didn’t think I wanted to do anything with the lifestyle. I tried telling him I was new and only needed time, but he took it the wrong way and broke up with me. I was so upset. It wasn’t that I didn’t want the lifestyle—it was just so much, so soon, and I needed to take a step back.” She sniffled. “I really miss him. Abby, does Nathaniel ever talk to him?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t think Nathaniel talks to many people from our New York group.” Abby poured more wine. “He’s been so busy here in Delaware. Do you want me to ask him?”
Lynne’s eyes grew wide. “Oh no.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” But she didn’t seem sure.
“Lynne?” Abby asked.
“I thought I might look online. Join a BDSM chat group.”
“Why would you do that?” Abby asked.
“I thought it would be best to get some more information. Learn a little bit more. Then maybe at some point, I can approach Simon again.”
“You liked him, didn’t you?” Meagan asked in a whisper.
Meagan knew all too well what it was like to have the guy you were interested in walk away. She had a feeling the look she saw on Lynne’s face was the same she’d possessed after Luke had left her fifteen years ago. And she didn’t wish that on anyone.
“Yes.” Lynne’s voice was so soft, Meagan barely heard her.
“You know”—Abby had a wicked grin—“if you’d like to get together with the Delaware group, Nathaniel and I can arrange it.”
Lynne looked a little unsure. “I don’t know. Let me think about it.”
Abby seemed satisfied and looked over to Meagan. “So tell me about you and Luke.”
Meagan sighed deeply. “I don’t even know where to start. We’re working on these photos for this book and it’s supposed to be work only, but it’s not. And I’m just scared, you know? We’ve been down this road before and it didn’t end well.”
“But you’re both older now,” Abby said. “And you have a lot more experience. Not to mention, you both know what you want and what you don’t.”
“True.” Meagan could see her point, but knew it wasn’t that easy. “I just don’t know how Luke feels.”
“Have you thought about asking him?” Abby raised an eyebrow.
“It’s not that easy.”
“That’s because you make it harder than it should be.”
“Says the woman who’s been married for ten thousand years.”
Abby laughed. “Says the woman who has learned the hard way that things are easier when you talk about them.”
“I know you’re right, but it just seems so hard. To expose yourself like that. To put yourself out there, and not know how it’ll be received.”
“But surely it beats not knowing anything at all about how he feels.”
“I guess so.” Meagan sighed.
A silence followed, everyone thinking their own thoughts about what had just been said. Meagan thought maybe she should talk to Luke. After all, she would never know until she asked. Perhaps, maybe, Luke wanted more than a no-strings relationship, too.
“Is anyone staying with Dena tonight?” Meagan finally asked, breaking the silence.
“I think Julie and Sasha are staying with her,” Abby said.
“That’s good. I would hate for her to be by herself.”
“I seriously doubt Jeff would let that happen.”
“How many weeks is she now?” Lynne asked.
“Thirty something,” Abby replied. “I think they want her to at least be thirty-three or so before they induce labor.”
“They aren’t going to let her go full term?” Meagan didn’t think so, but she hadn’t heard for certain.
Abby shook her head. “No, they said the danger was too high to let her go much past thirty-three.”
“And so far everything has been okay with the baby?” Lynne got up and poured more wine.
“Yes, Dena said everything so far has been perfect with the baby.” Abby got a wistful, faraway look in her eyes. “I’m so happy for them both—they both deserve all the good things.”
Meagan remembered that Jeff had been the one to save Abby at the club. She also knew that he had played a few times with Abby and Nathaniel. She wondered what Dena thought of that. Did it bother her? Or did she not care? She knew Abby had played in a roundabout way with Luke. While what was in the past didn’t bother her, she wasn’t sure she’d like it if it happened again. Similarly, Meagan didn’t think Jeff had played at all with anybody since he and Dena got married.
For just a moment, Meagan allowed herself to think what it would be like to be married. To have that companionship. That support. That love. She didn’t realize until that moment how lonely her life was.
Sure, she had her work friends. And her brother, although you really couldn’t count him. But at the end of the day, she didn’t have a significant other. She allowed herself to look into the future and all she saw was loneliness. An empty house. An empty bed. An empty life. And for the first time in a long, long time, she was sad.
Meagan stretched. Suddenly she didn’t feel like talking anymore. “I’m beat. I’m going to go to bed.”
Abby raised an eyebrow and Meagan was certain she saw straight through her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, just a little tired.”
“Okay, I guess we’ll see you in the morning.”
“Good night,” Lynne said.
Meagan said her good nights and went upstairs to her room. The baby shower the next day started at ten o’clock. She was going to ride with Abby and Lynne, and she wouldn’t make it back to her own house until late in the afternoon.
She wondered what Luke was doing tonight. Was he thinking of her? Did he miss her? They weren’t going to have a session tomorrow because of the baby shower. Luke said they were ahead of schedule, so it really didn’t matter. Suddenly next Saturday seemed so far away.
She made it to the guest room and remembered she’d turned her phone off. She couldn’t stop the grin that came over her face when she saw the text from Luke.
What are you doing?
He had sent it fifteen minutes ago. There was a good chance he was still awake. She quickly typed her reply.
Just getting ready to turn in.
He typed back instantly.