"Oh my gawd, girl. Yes, of course. And I can start tomorrow?"
"Yeah, it might take me a few days to get the insurance in place, but I know someone who can probably hook me up. I've still got one or two friends left in the city who didn't completely jump ship on me after the divorce. We can join a group co-op thingy."
"You, my dear, are a rock star. And to do that for me when you've got your own stuff going on."
"They say the best way to feel better about your problems is to help someone else with theirs."
"This is so great,” Reggie said. "Let me go put your order in."
When she got back, Reggie plopped back down next to me and started rolling silverware again. "What are they going to do tomorrow without you?" I asked. "Should I let you give them longer notice?"
"Nah. The manager will just have to work for a few days until they move someone to the day shift or hire someone else. It'll do her good to actually do some work."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm done here. I was so hoping you ask me to work with you when you started talking about needing an assistant," Reggie said.
"Why didn't you just ask me?"
"I figured if you wanted me to work with you, you'd ask. And, you did,” she said and threw her arms around my shoulders.
A few minute later, my food was ready and a handful of people moseyed in for an early dinner. I was hanging around waiting to see if Reggie got another break in the action when I got a text from Thorn.
It's quiet right now. Meet me at the spot?
The spot was a bench by the new pond in the cemetery. It was a tranquil place to get some sunshine and fresh air. It was also neutral ground for us to talk.
I'll be there in a few. I texted back.
He didn't say anything else, so I left money for my check. "I'll call you later," I told Reggie on my way out.
I was at the cemetery for around half an hour before Thorn showed up. It gave me time to go over what I was going to say in my head. Not that it helped.
My stomach started doing flip-flops as I watched his cruiser get closer. I wasn't sure why, but I had a bad feeling.
When he parked the car across the little grave road from the pond, I watched Thorn as he sat there for a full minute looking at me. Finally, he let out a big sigh and got out of the car.
He put his hat on the driver's seat and closed the door before making his way over to the bench and sitting down next to me. "I came here to break things off with you,” he said grimly.
It felt like someone had punched me in the chest. I had to take a deep breath past the lump in my throat to keep from throwing up. My face grew hot and my mouth started to tingle that way it does right before you get sick.
I must have sounded like I was struggling to breathe, but that's because I was. If a person could look furious and concerned at the same time, that's exactly how Thorn looked.
He put a hand on my knee. "But I can't do it, Kinsley. Seeing you sitting here, I realized how foolish I was being."
"So, you're not breaking up with me?" I managed to say.
"Not unless that's what you want,” he said. "I'm not happy about anything that's happened in the last couple of days, but I can't just let you go. I care about you too much. In fact, I think that I might even love you."
"Thorn..."
"Now, I know it's a really awkward time for me to say something like that, so please don't say it back. But maybe if I'd told you that before, none of this would be happening. I'll carry that responsibility."
"You're not responsible for the things I do,” I said.
"I kind of am, Kinsley. I should have been more open with you, and I wish that I could promise that I will be. I don't know if I can make that promise right now, but if you want to work things out, I think we can get through this."
"I do want to work things out,” I said. "I'm sorry about all of this, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you what happened right away."
"Part of me can understand why you didn't,” he said and rubbed his chin. For the first time I noticed how exhausted he looked. Thorn had been tired lately, but that day he looked like he was at the very end of a short tether. "But if you still want to be with me while you have this connection or whatever to Azriel Malum, then you're going to need to promise me that you'll never see him again. No more favors. No more magical spells to help him out. You've got to cut him off and never look back."
I knew what Thorn was saying was the truth, but at the same time, it felt like he'd punched me in the chest all over again. Like, the idea of never seeing Azriel again, even as a friend, nearly knocked the wind out of me. I held it together, though. After all, I had a history with Thorn. It wasn't like I could just throw that away because I'd discovered some weird empathic connection to Azriel.
“Can you do that?” he asked.
Before I could answer, his radio squawked to life. I was about to say something, but I wasn't sure what. I guess I hoped I'd open my mouth and the right thing would come out.
"I'll come over later. I should be able to get away once most of the good folks of Coventry are settled in for the night,” Thorn said. "It will be after dinnertime, but it shouldn't be too late."
"Okay,” I said. "I'll see you then."
He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the lips before hurrying back to his cruiser. I sat there staring at the water lapping against the bank of the pond for a while. I felt stunned.
My whole life had been turned upside down by my divorce and then I had nearly six months of peace. Once again, it had been turned upside down. The chaos in me could be wielded as a great power, but it also seeped into my everyday life. I wondered if I'd ever have any peace long-term, but then I decided not to dwell on that.
I sat there for a long time just trying not to think. I had bacon for Meri, and I could have gone home to give it to him, but it felt like if I moved from that spot, it would all come crashing down. Thorn had asked me to meet him there so he could break things off with me, but then he hadn't. I felt a familiar lump rise in my throat. My eyes got misty, and I was about to cry when I got a text message.
Come see me. It was from Azriel.
I don't know if this is a good time.
I texted back still not sure if I even wanted to get off the bench. My body felt so heavy. You'd have thought I would have been happy that Thorn decided not to dump me, but I was still so full of grief.
Whatever it is, I can help. Come see me. Or just tell me where you are. I'll come to you. he responded.
He could feel my sadness. It was a little weird knowing that I wasn't really alone, but also sort of comforting. I'd assumed the connection only worked when we were close, but perhaps it stretched further when the emotions were more intense. Or perhaps now that we'd discovered it, the actual connection grew stronger.
I hadn't promised Thorn I wouldn't see Azriel again because I hadn't had the chance. Given what had transpired between us, I thought it was better if I told him in person anyway. I didn't owe him a face-to-face talk, but it felt like I did.
I'll come to you. I answered.
With that, I was finally able to move. Just enough of the heaviness inside of me lifted, and I got myself up and off the bench. He was literally the only person I could talk to about this. Other than Meri, and I knew how that would go. I could have also gone to my Mom and Dad, but that felt weird. Lilith would tell me that if I had that kind of connection with Azriel, I should go with it. I could almost hear her saying to "ditch that square sheriff".
But Thorn had said that he loved me, and that meant something. So, I had to tell Azriel that I couldn't see him again. There would be no relationship or friendship. The weird anomaly between us was something for us to ignore, not to embrace.
I got in my car and drove to the clubhouse. After parking my car around back, I made my way up the concrete steps and across the loading dock. I tried to ignore the memories of the night before. I refused to feel the pulse of power through my veins as I embraced the dark
arts and brought his dog back to life.
As I lifted my hand to knock on the door, it opened. He'd been waiting for me.
"I have more wine,” Azriel said as he stepped back and let me enter.
"It's not even dinnertime,” I said. "I'm not sure I should have a glass so early."
"It's late enough," he countered. "I promise I won't let you have too much."
"Like I need you to look after me," I teased.
"Glad to know you're feeling better,” he said as we walked into the kitchen.
And I was. I'd even begun bantering with him without realizing it. I needed to tone it down a notch since I was there to deliver bad news. It was just that as soon as I was around Azriel, I forgot myself.
"Speaking of feeling better, how is Tangerine?" I changed the subject. It seemed the safest thing to do.
"For a zombie dog, she's pretty great,” he said with a smile.
"Oh, no. Why did you call her a zombie dog? Is something... decaying?"
He laughed at that and grabbed a bottle of white wine from his refrigerator. "Something light for the late afternoon?"
In his hand was a bottle of pink Moscato. "That sounds great. I didn't see that in there the other day."
"Just something I picked up in case I had company,” he said and went to work removing the cork. "Anyway, to answer your question, no. There's nothing actually zombie-like about Tangerine. That was a joke because you brought her back from the dead. You'd never know she was brought back from the other side."
"Oh, good,” I said and he handed me the glass of pink wine.
"Let's go sit down,” he said and walked into the living room.
I followed behind him and sat down on the sofa I'd napped on the evening before. I'd thought that Azriel would take a seat in one of the chairs flanking the sofa, but he sat down next to me. Still, there was enough space between us that it felt friendly.
"This is good,” I said as I took a small sip of the wine. I'd have to be careful with it as it was sweet and went down way too easily.
"So, tell me what's going on,” Azriel said.
And I did.
When I was done telling him about the day, his eyes were even softer than before. He looked at me with a concern I hadn't expected, but there wasn't a trace of pity on his face.
"I can't believe he told you that he was going to break it off with you,” Azriel said when he finally spoke. "I can't believe he told you that even after he changed his mind."
"What do you mean?"
"It just seems so cruel. If he'd changed his mind, then why not keep that to himself? Why put you through that pain?"
"I don't know,” I said and bit my bottom lip. "I hadn't thought of it that way. I guess that's why I didn't feel any relief."
"So, you promised him you'd never see me again?" Azriel asked and reached out his hand for my wine glass. I handed it to him, and he took a drink. "But you're here."
"I didn't promise him. He got a call on the radio before I could say anything,” I said.
"You're here to tell me in person that you're never going to see me again,” he said and handed the glass back to me. "You wanted to do it face to face. You're a good person like that."
I thought about what he'd said. How it was cruel for Thorn to tell me that he'd planned on breaking up with me even though he'd changed his mind. I didn't know if I'd changed my mind because I didn't know what to think, but I wasn't going to tell him that I'd come there to do that.
"I'm here because you're the only person I could talk to about this." It was the truth.
He visibly relaxed. Azriel had been waiting for me to tell him I was never going to see him again.
"I know we barely know each other, Kinsley, but I don't think this connection is for nothing. I've been around long enough to know that these things happen for a reason. Hell, I don't even believe in coincidences anymore."
"I don't know what to do,” I said. "I have no idea how to process any of this, and with the break-in this morning, my whole life is upside down. It doesn't feel like I'm ever going to find any peace."
"I will find out who did that to your shop, Kinsley,” he said.
"I'm not sure if it's a good idea for me to owe you any more favors,” I said with a chuckle. "The last one had me raising the dead."
"I know that you're kidding," he said and took my hand, "but just in case there is any part of you that's worried about owing me anything, don't. I told you that I'm in your debt. Even if you never spoke to me again, I'd still be here waiting for you. Anything you ever needed. If I could get it for you, I would."
I felt my heart start to hammer in my chest. Azriel was just so... unexpected. Being there with him, I felt better. I wanted to hate myself for it, but I did feel better.
"Can I tell you something?"
"Anything,” he said and squeezed my hand.
"Since I think that.... since I know that Astra did this, I was considering breaking into her shop tonight to see if she had my stuff there. Thorn said he'd try to get a search warrant, but he didn't sound confident. I figured I could steal my stuff back, and what can she do?"
He let go of my hand and rubbed his palms together. "I know I shouldn't be encouraging this, but it sounds like a good time to me."
I couldn't help but laugh a little. "I thought you'd said you were considering abandoning your life of crime?"
"This isn't crime. It's vigilante justice. Besides, I just said I was considering abandoning my criminal enterprises. It's a lot more complicated than just walking away."
"Is it though?" I asked and for the first time, I found myself wondering what the "outlaw" part of his biker club entailed. I knew I probably shouldn't ask, but it slipped out before my brain could catch up with my mouth. "What is it you guys do anyway?"
"I don't want to lie to you, Kinsley, so let's just say we don't hurt women and children and leave it at that, okay? It's better for you that way."
"What about drugs?"
"If we were involved in that business, and I'm not saying one way or another, it wouldn't be with the stuff that kills people,” he said.
I took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll leave it alone."
"Look, this isn't easy for me either. I never expected to care about anyone, let alone someone like you. My whole life is turned upside down too."
"What are we going to do?"
"Tonight we're going to break into Astra's store and find your stuff,” he said. "Let's focus on things where we can take action."
"And if it's not there?"
"Then we'll go to her house. Or I'll send some of my men to her house,” Azriel said.
"I don't want them to hurt her,” I said. "I mean, I do... kinda... but it wouldn't be right."
"We can search her house without hurting her, Kinsley. This is what we do. We're professionals."
"Let's just start with her shop. It would have been much easier for her to get it there than to take it all the way home."
"What do you think her plan was?" Azriel asked. "Why did she do this?"
"I think just to make me look bad,” I said. "It's not like she can give out the bags or even sell the stuff in them. She'd probably have to throw it all away. I'm convinced it was all just to make me look bad."
"Do you think she's just a nasty person? Why would she do this to you."
"I think you hit the nail on the head. I never met her before she moved to town. It's not like we had a feud going on or something."
And that's when it hit me. What if she was a Tuttlesmith witch and had no idea that I was one as well? My last name was Skeenbauer, but maybe Astra didn't know my mother was a Tuttlesmith.
"Well, she'll be dealt with,” Azriel said.
"You sound like you intend to kill her."
"No, not that. But I've run my share of nasty... problems out of town,” he said.
"I can imagine,” I said. "If you have things you need to do, I can go."
"Kinsley, if I didn't have time for you, I wouldn't have
invited you over,” he said. "I was thinking about watching a movie, though. That new movie with the arsonist that gets caught in a haunted house is out on demand. You're welcome to stay and watch it with me. You could have another glass of wine, and I was going to make some Parmesan and red pepper popcorn."
"Not too much red pepper?" I said hopefully.
"Just enough for a kick. Not enough to set your mouth on fire. I'll let you control it if you'd like."
"I'd like to see the movie,” I said.
"I know it's more than a decision to stay and watch the movie, Kinsley,” Azriel said. "I know it potentially means letting Thorn go, and you're not ready to make that decision. I'm not here to force you into choosing anything. I won't be mad if you go."
"It is just a movie,” I said. "I think I'll stay and watch it. Let's make the popcorn, and do you have a Coke? I don't want to drink too much wine."
I wasn't ready to just dump Thorn, but I didn't like being backed into a corner either. What if I did want to be friends with Azriel? Was it Thorn's place to tell me that couldn't happen?
Whatever the outcome, I just wanted to let it go for a while. I'd talk to Thorn later, and perhaps we could handle the whole thing a little less dramatically.
Chapter Four
By the time the movie was over, it was getting close to seven. "I need to head out,” I said. "Thorn is supposed to come over after work, and I think we have a lot of talking to do."
"I understand,” he said and kissed the top of my head. "I'm here for you if you need me. No matter how late."
"Thank you,” I said and left before I could get emotional all over again.
I drove home, trying to figure out what I was going to say. That wasn't exactly easy because I still didn't know what I wanted. What I wanted was time to sort things out, but Thorn wanted reassurances. I wasn't sure if that was something I had to offer him, but I didn't want to drive him away either. We'd talked every day for almost six months. If he completely turned his back on me, it felt like I'd have a huge hole in my life.
When I turned onto my street, I noticed someone sitting on my front porch. At first, I thought Thorn had shown up earlier than I expected and he was waiting for me. But neither his cruiser nor his truck was in my driveway.
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