by Amal Awad
‘Lara?’
‘Of course. What’s first on the list?’
‘Well, for me it’s swimming lessons.’
‘I want to try trapeze with you,’ says Samira. ‘What you did scared the crap out of me. I liked it.’
‘I want to go on a holiday with you both,’ says Lara. ‘I’m always on the road with people I like but don’t love like you guys. We should’ve done Europe together when we were single and our boobs were still perky.’
Samira shakes her head. ‘I have never had perky boobs.’
‘Me either,’ I sigh. ‘But they look good when I’m flat on my back.’
We have a proper laugh and Lara jumps up, returning a few moments later with a laptop, a bit breathless with excitement. ‘OK, so where are we going?’
‘Somewhere not too far,’ Samira says. ‘I can’t do that to Menem and the kids. It’s been ages since we went away together.’
‘I don’t mind so long as it’s somewhere with mountains or ocean, or both,’ I say. In Jordan, I developed a love for nature, its extraordinary capacity for beauty, destruction and repair. I loved to hear the sound of my hiking boots against the hard earth. I was in awe of the natural world that withstood so much, and saw everything without judgement.
‘Too easy,’ Lara says, typing away. Samira goes to sit next to her, offering more suggestions, and I watch, peaceful.
Even with our differences, when I look at Samira and Lara, I see myself, my history, present and future intertwined. It occurs to me that a cycle is complete. Like in the Major Arcana, I restarted life in Sydney as The Fool, setting out on an adventure, unsure of the terrain, but so desperate for change I couldn’t look down, unpacking groceries and grief in Lara’s small kitchen in Newtown.
How far we’ve come. Lara’s new kitchen is larger, but we are the same in the essentials – just lighter – about to start a new journey and take on new adventures.
I will be a fool again, I think, rising from my seat to join my friends. But this time will be different. This time, while I am not fearless, I am no longer afraid.
Sahar’s Soundtrack
You Won’t Find Me – Narrow Skies
The Sun – Charlz
Killing Me – Luke Sital-Singh
The Chain – Fleetwood Mac
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts – Cold War Kids
Mended – Vera Blue
Hands of Time – Groove Armada
Burn – Ray LaMontagne
Feel It (In the Air Tonight) – Naturally 7
I Wasted You – Flora Cash
Forest Fires – Axel Flovent
Swim Good – Frank Ocean
Clean – Taylor Swift
Bring It on Home to Me – Sam Cooke
Waves – Dean Lewis
We Stayed Up All Night – Tourist (feat. Ardyn)
Mad World – Gary Jules
I Love It – Icona Pop (feat. Charli XCX)
Electrical – Eves the Behaviour
Silence – Marshmellow (feat. Khalid)
Halo – Beyoncé
Dancing on My Own – Callum Scott
I Should Live in Salt – The National
Come See About Me – Nicki Minaj
Never Let Me Go – Florence and the Machine
Your Hand in Mine – Explosions in the Sky
Chicago – Sufjan Stevens
By Your Side – Sade
Lightning Crashes – Live
The One That Got Away – The Civil Wars
Leads Me Back – Sarah Blasko
Dance Monkey – Tones and I
Ether – We Are All Astronauts
Unchained Melody – The Righteous Brothers
When Doves Cry – Prince
Freedom – Beyoncé (feat. Kendrick Lamar)
Drumming Song – Florence and the Machine
Bad Love – RY X
We Were in Love – Ta-Ku
Bird – Bedouine
Want to Want Me – Jason Derulo
I Will Wait – Mumford and Sons
Little Talks – Of Monsters and Men
Who Knew – P!nk
Last Request – Paolo Nutini
I’m Jim Morrison, I’m Dead – Mogwai
Hotline Bling – Drake
All We Do – Oh Wonder
Renegades – X Ambassadors
Flesh and Bone – Keaton Henson
Acknowledgements
These characters have been with me for more than a decade, and I’m so gratified that I was able to journey with them across three books. This story has been significant for so many reasons, not the least because it signalled a new way of writing novels for me. Sahar doesn’t have the kind of sense of humour that Samira and Lara have, and writing her story has been a profound experience – one that I will always treasure.
With that being said, I have to say it was all possible because my agent, Tara Wynne at Curtis Brown, truly heard me when I told her that not only did I need to write Sahar’s story, but that I wanted to revisit my previous novels in the process. Thank you, Tara, for not only aligning this book with the right people, but also for helping to revive the ones that came before it.
Which brings me to the other instrumental players in this book’s development. First, my gratitude to Lex Hirst at Pantera Press, who saw and understood early on my vision for this story and threw her full support behind it. Thank you also to Lucy Bell, editor extraordinaire, whose passion for the novel made the editing process a rewarding one. Your keen eye, insights and perspectives were invaluable. Alex Nahlous, you are a wizard. Thank you for a masterful proofread. My gratitude to Alison Green for your support from the start, as well as the rest of the Pantera Press team who so enthusiastically backed this book.
Thank you to Rebecca Knights of Coco Chocolate for taking the time to instruct me on the ins and outs of running a chocolate business, and to Josh Magee from Improv Theatre Sydney for the games suggestions.
The Copyright Agency provided me with funding support at a crucial time, for which I am very grateful – you are an unvaluable organisation to Australian creators.
Thank you to the Hillarys of Ed Hillary IP Ltd for permission to use the Sir Edmund Hillary quote, and to the Joseph Campbell Foundation for the guidance on quoting Joseph Campbell.
As always, I give thanks to my husband and test reader, Chris Larsen – your support is everything. Thank you also to my family and close friends, who no longer blink when I announce that I’m writing a book.
Book Club Questions
What was your first impression of Lara, Samira and Sahar’s relationship? Has it changed at all?
What role does food play in Sahar’s life?
What does Maggie’s diversity plaque represent? Why is it significant?
Why does Leo help Sahar?
How did Sahar’s life in Jordan change her?
Why do you think Sahar struggles to share her story with Lara and Samira?
Sahar describes an instant connection to Naeem and wonders if they were linked in another time. How would you explain their connection?
How has Sahar changed from the beginning of The Experiment?
Agree or disagree: Chocolate is not just chocolate, after all. It’s a feeling.
If you were to create a chocolate tarot card, what flavour would it be?
What experiences would be on your experiment list?
What do you think the future holds for Luke and Sahar?
About the Author
Amal Awad is a journalist, screenwriter, author and performer. She has contributed to ELLE, Frankie, Meanjin, Going Down Swinging, Daily Life, Sheilas, SBS Life and Junkee. She has also produced and presented for ABC Radio National and has held senior editorial roles at numerous trade publications.
As a public speaker, Amal appears at schools, universities and writers’ festivals around Australia. She presents workshops on storytelling and creativity, has been a regular panellist on ABC TV’s The Drum and was a TEDx Macquarie speaker in 2019. As a screen
writer, Amal has worked on several film and television projects and is in development on more. She has also directed short films, a pursuit she continues alongside writing and performing.
Amal is the author of Courting Samira, This Is How You Get Better and The Things We See in the Light as well as the non-fiction books The Incidental Muslim, Beyond Veiled Clichés: The Real Lives of Arab Women, Fridays with my Folks: Stories on Ageing, Illness and Life, and In My Past Life I Was Cleopatra. She has also contributed to the anthologies Growing Up Muslim in Australia: Coming of Age and Some Girls Do… (My Life as a Teenager).
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organisations, dialogue and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, organisations, events or locales is coincidental.
First published in 2021 by Pantera Press Pty Limited
www.PanteraPress.com
Text copyright © Amal Awad, 2021
Amal Awad has asserted her moral rights to be identified as the author of this work.
Design and typography copyright © Pantera Press Pty Limited, 2021
® Pantera Press, three-slashes colophon device, and sparking imagination, conversation & change are registered trademarks of Pantera Press Pty Limited. Lost the Plot is a trademark of Pantera Press Pty Limited.
This work is copyright, and all rights are reserved. Apart from any use permitted under copyright legislation, no part may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, nor may any other exclusive right be exercised, without the publisher’s prior permission in writing. We welcome your support of the author’s rights, so please only buy authorised editions.
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A Cataloguing-in-Publication entry for this work is available from the National Library of Australia.
ISBN 978–0–6486769–6–6 (Paperback)
ISBN 978–0–6486769–7–3 (eBook)
Cover Design: Amy Daoud
Publisher: Lex Hirst
Editor: Lucy Bell
Proofreader: Alexandra Nahlous
Typesetting: Kirby Jones
Author Photo: Hoda Afshar
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