Now, while I had the chance—while Leah was headed out. With some guy.
Carter blinked up at me, bleary-eyed. “You should take a shower,” I grunted, handing him a mug of coffee because I wasn’t a heartless bastard.
Carter took a couple sips of coffee as he woke up, looking around himself in surprise. “What am I doing here?” he asked blankly.
I shrugged. “You showed up this morning,” I explained. “I think you wanted to keep the party going, but I convinced you to crash instead.”
There was a lot more than that I wanted to say. This wasn’t the first time Carter had shown up at my place as he tried to outrun his demons. It wasn’t the first time he had blacked out, or the first time he had passed out on my couch. I had kind of thought it would get old after a while, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
Carter nodded, running a hand through his hair. “Honestly, I don’t remember much after last night’s show,” he admitted. I hoped that meant he didn’t remember Leah and the way he had almost kissed her.
Not that it mattered either way. I didn’t have any claim on her. Not that I wanted someone like Carter fucking around with her, though.
“Maybe it’s time you considered laying off the booze,” I couldn’t help but say.
Carter stared at me for a long moment. From the flat set to his mouth, I could tell there were a dozen things he wanted to say in response to that. He held them all back, though. I didn’t know if I was thankful for that. There was a part of me that couldn’t help but wonder—if he and I really went at it, shouted at each other, finally aired all of our grievances, would it help us finally start to put ourselves back together again? Would it fix some of the tension within the band?
But he was silent, and I had already said too much. If I just kept pushing him, I would destroy everything.
He drained his coffee mug and set it down on the coffee table, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Can I grab a shower?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said. He headed into the bathroom, and I sat down at my drum set.
I grabbed my sticks and played a slow roll on the cymbal. But I left it at that, too distracted to actually put something together.
It was all Leah’s fault that I couldn’t concentrate. If she hadn’t been at the show the night before, if she weren’t so cute… If she hadn’t been so damned sexy, with the way she reacted to every touch of my fingers and mouth against her skin. It was just a fling with my next-door neighbor, but I couldn’t get her out of my head.
I knew I needed to focus on my music. It was one of the things that had been driving me nuts about the way Carter and Mark were acting lately. The last thing I needed was to forget all about my goals in pursuit of a pretty woman. Even if that pretty woman lived next door to me and was impossible to ignore.
There was a part of me that wished she hadn’t shown up there with pizza that evening, regardless of what it had led to. There was a bigger part of me that just couldn’t get over what had happened. I had never expected her to blow my mind. I wondered how I could possibly keep my hands off her now.
Even if she clearly would rather be with someone else.
Carter came out of my bedroom before my blood could boil over with jealousy. He was pulling one of my T-shirts over his head. I knew I would never get it back.
That was the thing—I knew exactly how these sorts of situations with Carter always ended. And yet somehow, we still kept ending up back here.
Was that the only thing that drew me to Leah? The fact that she was unpredictable, the fact that she was the only new and different thing in my life at the moment? I wanted to think that wasn’t all it was, but at the end of the day, I wasn’t so sure.
Carter and I headed for the taco truck up the street, as we always did after one of his benders. Suddenly, I was just so sick of the predictable.
“You know,” I said, trying to sound casual, “I don’t know how much you remember from last night, but we were really good. Crowd was really into it.”
Carter made a noncommittal noise. I wondered how much of what I was saying were things he was choosing not to hear. I wondered why it was that now, when we were so close, was the time that he and Mark both seemed dead set on sabotaging us.
I felt myself starting to get annoyed. “If we keep booking shows at the rate we’ve been going, it’s only a matter of time before we make it big,” I said. “Or at least bigger. It’s going to take an effort from all the members, though.” Carter still didn’t seem to be paying attention, focusing more on his tacos than on me. “We could make better money,” I added, wondering if that was the trick.
Still no response. Finally, I shook my head, deciding that the personal appeal I’d been holding back had a place after all. I leaned forward.
“Even if the band goes down in flames, I’m your friend,” I said quietly. “You know that if you don’t stop, you’re risking permanent damage.”
We all saw where things were headed, I was sure. Somehow, no one else seemed to care.
I knew it wasn’t that, though. It wasn’t that no one cared. It was just that no one else was willing to put themselves in the crosshairs to call him out. Luke especially wasn’t, and Mark was nearly as far down as Carter, albeit in different ways.
“Carter, you need help,” I said, unable to bite back the words even though I knew they wouldn’t be appreciated. “Look, I’ll go to a meeting with you if that’s what it takes. You can’t keep…” I trailed off.
Carter scowled at me. “Don’t pretend like you don’t have any vices,” he snapped. He stood up. “If you want to practice at all today, we should get going,” he said in a clipped tone. “If you want to catch Mark before he goes out, anyway.”
I stared at him for a moment, not wanting to let the conversation die. I wondered if there was any way to get him to listen. Admit to my own faults and get him to admit to his. Instead, though, I got to my feet and silently followed him. I didn’t know how to get through to him, and I was afraid that the more I needled him, the further away I would push him.
12
Leah
I looked around in surprise, taking in the sights and sounds. “Where is this?” I asked Piper, in awe of the colored lights and foreign chatter around us. For a moment, it was as though I wasn’t even in California anymore. For someone like me, from a small town in the middle of nowhere, someone who had never traveled before, it was unreal.
Piper laughed at my expression. “I had a feeling you might think this was cool,” she said. “Best night market in LA.”
I shook my head, unable to help but marvel at everything. It definitely beat noisy clubs and terrible dive bars.
“Come on,” Piper said, grabbing my arm and tugging me along. “I’m hungry. And I’m looking for one of those colorful silk scarves to wear to work on Monday.”
I laughed and followed her into the press of people, trying my best not to feel too overwhelmed by all of it.
“So how do you like the new job?” Piper asked a little while later as we munched on snacks from one of the booths.
I raised an eyebrow at her. “I thought we couldn’t talk about work outside of work,” I said.
Piper shrugged and laughed. “Up to you,” she said. “That’s really just Linsey’s rule, though. Mainly because she doesn’t like her job and doesn’t want to think about it anymore than she has to, basically.”
I snorted. “I guess that’s fair,” I said. “I don’t know, it’s definitely all been an adjustment, but I think it’s a good thing. I like the work, and I’m starting to get used to living in LA.”
I wasn’t, not really, but she didn’t need to know that. She didn’t need to know that I had slept with my next-door neighbor just to scratch an itch. She didn’t need to know that that was the whole reason I had called her tonight, because I needed some sort of excuse to get out of the house after ditching him. For her, a one-night stand was probably no big deal. Just one of those things that you did.
“You�
�re good at the work too. Way better than the last person who had your position,” Piper said, rolling her eyes. “Man, I think everyone was relieved when Brandon quit. Not only was he miserable when it came to doing his own work, but he somehow managed to make more work for everyone else as well. Real piece of work.”
I giggled. “Well, I’m glad that I’m better than him, at least,” I said. “How long have you been with the company anyway?” I asked her.
“It’ll be five years this winter,” Piper said. She wrinkled her nose. “I never really pictured myself with a career or anything, but they hired me when I was fresh out of college based off an internship I had with them, and I don’t know. I like the people, and there’s nothing I would rather be doing, even if I don’t love every minute of the job itself.”
“Hmm, that’s fair,” I said, frowning as I tried to imagine what that must feel like. But I had always kind of known what I wanted to do with my life. I couldn’t imagine just having lukewarm feelings toward my job.
“Anyway, I think if I can really impress everyone at the retreat next month, I might get tapped for a promotion,” Piper added. She laughed self-consciously, running her fingers through her hair. “I probably shouldn’t tell you about that because I don’t know who else is trying to get the position.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” I told her. Because in the first place, who would I tell? Secondly, I didn’t have a ton of friends in LA, and the fact that she trusted me enough to tell me about her goals for the future was kind of flattering. I wasn’t about to screw that up.
Especially not because if things went well for her, who knew, maybe she could help me move up in the company as well.
“What’s this retreat really about?” I asked her curiously. I had heard some rumors of it, but no one really seemed to want to give too many details to me.
Piper shrugged. “The main thing is that it’s a chance to get some face time with the big boss,” she said. “It’s one of the only times all year that we get that chance. So make sure you don’t waste it.”
I nodded, trying not to feel too intimidated by her words. I wanted to climb the ladder, to work my way up the ladder. That meant I needed to not screw things up with the bosses before I had really made any sort of good impact on the company.
Fortunately, there was another thing to distract me: I saw a man ahead of us, caught a flash of his tattoos. I knew instantly that it wasn’t Jayson, but I couldn’t help but feel a tug of lust in my core, a fleeting wish to be back in his arms. I thought back to what had happened earlier, and I wished suddenly that he could be the one here with me at the night market, as much as I liked Piper.
Piper glanced over her shoulder, frowning in puzzlement. “Who’d you see?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No one,” I said. “Just thought I saw someone I knew.”
Piper raised an eyebrow at me. “Someone from work?”
“No,” I said slowly, reluctant to tell her who it really was. I knew that if I admitted I was imagining Jayson there in the market, she would know that something was up.
She wasn’t going to let me off so easily, though. “Come on, you can’t know that many people in LA that I don’t know. And you look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s up?”
I sighed. “You know that band we went to see?” I realized absently that I still didn’t even know their name, but I pressed on before I could dwell on that and all the other things I didn’t know about Jayson. “The drummer lives next door to me.”
“Well, that’s convenient,” Piper said, smirking at me. “So are you going to hook up with him? Should we go to another one of his shows or something?”
I coughed lightly. I supposed I shouldn’t have been so surprised that she would immediately suggest hooking up with him. This was LA after all. Things were just so different from how they were back home.
“I actually already kind of… hooked up with him,” I admitted.
Piper grinned. “Nice!” she said. “He’s fucking hot, good for you.”
I couldn’t help but blush. Somehow, the words kept spilling out of me. Maybe it was just the fact that Piper was really my only friend here, that I had no one to confide in other than her. But I had a feeling it was also that I was looking for guidance from someone.
“I’m kind of conflicted about it,” I told her. “I’ve never just had sex with someone before; I’ve always been in a relationship first.”
Piper frowned. “Do you want to be in a relationship with him?” she asked.
I snorted. “Doesn’t matter if I do,” I said. “Have you seen him? He’s a rock star. I’m sure he sleeps around with a lot of girls.”
Piper shook her head. “And none of them have anything on you,” she said firmly. “If you want him, you could have him.”
“I don’t know if I do,” I sighed.
“Well, was the sex any good? Did you enjoy it at least?”
I groaned. “Probably too much,” I said. Thinking back to it made me shiver, even now. But that wasn’t the point, was it?
“I don’t think there’s any such thing as ‘too much,’” Piper said, her eyes twinkling. “So come on, if the sex was good, what’s stopping you? Seriously, if you’re just worried about the other girls, you’re crazy.”
“It’s not just that,” I sighed. “He’s just not exactly the man that I thought I’d end up with. I always kind of figured I’d find some guy in finance, or maybe a college professor. Someone who shared my interests.” I paused and then grinned crookedly. “Someone who likes quiet nights at home, that sort of thing.”
Piper laughed. “I mean, sure,” she said. “We’re all looking for something more like that eventually, right? You don’t have to marry the drummer, though. Just have some fun with him. You’re young, and you just moved here. You don’t have to settle down just yet.”
“I know.” I shook my head. “I’m just not sure that I’m ready for no-strings-attached kind of fun. I’m just not cut that way.” I was quiet for a moment, looking around. “LA is so, so different from back home, you have no idea.”
“Do you miss it?” Piper asked, cocking her head to the side.
“I guess part of me does,” I said quietly. “Not all of me, but definitely part of me.”
“Fair enough,” Piper said. “But I guess, why not just see where things take you? If you decide you’re not interested in him anymore, then you can just kick him to the curb, right?”
I shook my head, knowing that there was no way it would be that easy. The further I went down this road, the more difficult it was all sure to become. I already couldn’t stop thinking about the guy. The last thing I needed was to start to get attached to him.
“How would I even get him to pick me over the other girls?” I asked. It was one thing for Piper to say I was better than the groupies. She knew me. But Jayson didn’t know me, and I wasn’t sure that he cared to. I mean, hell, I didn’t know anything about him either. It was just sex, and if it was just sex, he wouldn’t care if I had a brain and a personality. Right?
“Well, to start with, I think you and I are going to need to go lingerie shopping,” Piper said, smiling wickedly. “Something tells me you don’t have anything special to wear for the dude, do you?”
I felt another blush stain my cheeks. “Uh, no,” I said, feeling embarrassed. I had never really seen the point of lingerie anyway. Wasn’t it just going to come off?
But as I thought about wearing a skimpy lace number for Jayson, I had to admit that there was something about the fantasy that made me feel hot. I could imagine the way he would look at me, the way he would caress me as he marveled at the play of lace across my skin.
“Who could think about groupies if he saw you wearing thigh-high stockings with garters and a tight little corset?” Piper said, still grinning at me.
“I don’t know,” I said slowly.
“Come on, you have an amazing body,” Piper said. “You should show off those curves sometimes.”
I
felt my blush deepen. I had never had the kind of girly friendship before where we talked about things like that. I had never had the type of friendship where I thought about going lingerie shopping with someone.
“Dress for the position you want, right?” Piper said, winking at me. “That’s the whole reason I’m looking for a scarf tonight: I want something sophisticated but also kind of fun, something that made me stand out to everyone.”
I shook my head. “And what, wearing lingerie under my clothes to work is going to help me land the position I want?” I asked doubtfully.
Piper laughed. “Look, not all the positions you might want in life are going to be related to your work,” she said. “Maybe the position you want is… on top of a sexy drummer.”
I burst out laughing, unable to help it. “Sure, maybe,” I said.
“So you’ll go lingerie shopping with me?” Piper pressed.
I shook my head ruefully. “Sure, maybe,” I said. To be honest, I wasn’t sure that that was anything I really wanted to do, but I couldn’t stop thinking of what it would be like to wear something sexy for Jayson, knowing that I bought it for his eyes only.
Would he realize I had bought it just to wear for him? Did I want him to realize that?
The thought sent a bolt of heat through me. I tried not to dwell on it too much and instead focused on enjoying my night with Piper. I wondered if I would see him when I got home, if he would still be awake or drumming or…
Again, I was trying not to think about any of it. It was difficult, though. Was I developing feelings for him—was it already too late?
13
Jayson
It had been a couple of weeks since the day I’d hooked up with Leah, and I was starting to wonder if she was avoiding me. I mean, Mr. Lake and I hadn’t seen one another all the time back when he still lived next door, but we had still crossed paths every so often on the way to the mailbox or leaving the house for the day.
The Boy Next Door: A Standalone Enemies-to-Lovers Romance Page 6