Maybe he just needed some other sort of outlet? Venting could help a person out, couldn’t it?
“What’s wrong?” I asked him.
Jayson’s jaw worked for a moment, like he was grinding the words between his teeth rather than spitting them out. As it turned out, though, he had another idea for an outlet, one that had nothing to do with venting. He pulled me into his apartment and into his arms, kicking the door shut behind me.
I went willingly, letting him push me back against the door, his body pressed against mine, his hands frantic as he kissed me deeply.
There was a part of me that knew I should tell him to stop. What, we ignored one another for a couple of weeks, and now suddenly we were going to have sex again? This wasn’t the kind of relationship I wanted with anyone. Besides, I had come over here with the idea that I needed to get some sleep at some point tonight.
But I couldn’t help melting as he continued to kiss me. It was too hot, too passionate, too much for me to want to hold myself back from him. I started to forget the reasons I had had for wanting to deny this in the first place.
Maybe Piper had been right when she said I could have him if I wanted him. Or was it just that I was the only one here now?
In any case, I would take what I got. I wanted this too badly to do otherwise. Besides, I could tell he needed it. His hands yanked my robe open, stroking my breasts, and I kissed him back, leaning into him, letting him have me.
Maybe there was a way we could both sleep that night.
15
Jayson
I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I hadn’t started drumming with the intention of getting Leah over there, that was for sure. I mean, there was definitely a part of me that felt guilty. I had known when I picked up my sticks that she was probably sleeping just beyond that wall. I had been worried I might wake her up. I just hadn’t known what else to do. I needed this.
I didn’t even know what this was now, though. I had thought I needed to get all my pent-up frustration and worry out in a good bout of drumming. It had been a long night, and I just needed to forget about it.
But kissing Leah seemed to bring me to an even better place. With her pressed up against the door, her robe open and her body on full display, all rational thought evaporated. My focus narrowed down to her and her pleasure—and my own rapidly increasing desire.
I was glad for the rug I had thrown down in the hall at the insistence of an ex-fling of mine. I had never given the thing that much thought after she bought it for me, but now as I bore Leah down on it, unable to make the steps that would take us to the bed or at least the couch, I wondered vaguely if that was the whole reason Brittney had insisted on the rug.
There had never been anyone who made me feel so desperately needy as Leah did. There had never been anyone I felt like I had to have right then and there on the floor.
That was something I didn’t want to examine right now, though. I didn’t want to think about the consequences of anything. I didn’t want to think about addictions or failures or heartaches or anything else. I just wanted to focus on her.
I kissed Leah until she was breathless, her body arching into each caress, small mewls falling from her lips as I teased my fingers across the damp crotch of her panties. She ran her hands down my body, clinging to my ass and pushing up against me with the same desperate need.
I eased her panties out of the way, but I wasn’t ready for it to be over just yet. I pushed my fingers inside of her, stroking her walls, making her gasp. Already, her pussy was quaking with the force of her pleasure.
I swiped my thumb across her clit, savoring the sound she made, halfway between a sob and a surprised gasp. I was rock-hard, ready to be inside her… but still, I held back, wanting to be clear-headed as I watched her fall apart.
And God, what a sight it was to see her come undone for me, her legs and mouth falling open on a ragged moan, her arms tossed akimbo into the space above her head as she arched, shuddered, and finally went slack against the rug, that rug that I had never realized the purpose of before.
I knew the purpose of the thing now. I would never be able to forget it, the image of her coming spread out on the floor. It was a promise that she needed the release as badly as I did. I had never seen anything as sexy in my life.
With that thought in mind, I slammed into her, plunging deep. I couldn’t have held back for another second, not even with a gun to my head.
I thrust into her sending her over the brink for a second time, and feeling her walls clench and squeeze around me, there was nothing I could do to hold myself back again.
I spilled my slick seed inside of her, crashing through pleasure that thrummed like a cymbal after a hard hit from a mallet.
We collapsed, and even though we were sprawled in the middle of the hall, it was a long time before either of us moved. When it did happen, it was Leah who shifted, and all she did was move closer to me, pressing her body to mine. I wrapped my arms around her, lightly stroking my fingers down her spine, feeling her shiver against me, the aftershocks of pleasure still shaking her to the core. Maybe I was imagining it, but I thought I could still feel her heartbeat moving her entire body.
She sighed happily, nuzzling my chest. I couldn’t deny how good it felt to hold her close like that. I looked down at her, and she looked back at me. Slowly, she reached out and tenderly stroked my cheek.
It made something inside of me break open, and all the worries and frustrations started spilling out.
“My band’s in trouble,” I told her. “We’re so close to making it. It’s everything we’ve ever worked for and everything I’ve ever wanted. But it seems like either the other guys don’t want it as badly as I do or, I don’t know, maybe they never did. Or maybe they’re just not cut out for it.”
I paused, and there was a part of me that expected her to pull away. But she didn’t. Nor did she say anything—she just lay there staring patiently up at me, waiting for me to continue.
“It’s so fucked-up,” I exploded. “Mark is too busy fucking groupies to give a shit about anything, and Carter is too drunk to play half the time. He can barely make it through a show most nights. Like, what the hell are we going to do? We have a chance to get signed, there’s a guy who might actually be interested in our stuff—and he’s only heard our shitty demo that was recorded in a basement. But we’re going to blow our chance if we can’t pull it together.”
Even though talking about it didn’t solve anything, I had to admit it felt good to finally say these things. Even though Luke and I were both thinking along the same lines, he didn’t want to talk about it. And there was no talking to Carter or Mark. They weren’t interested in listening.
Leah listened. She stared attentively up at me, her face screwed up in concentration.
That was the moment when I wondered if I had let things go too far with her. No way was I starting to fall for her. I barely knew her in the first place. Then again, what I knew about her, I liked. She was a gorgeous, kind, thoughtful, smart woman. She wasn’t full of herself. She knew what she wanted, and she went for it. She was funny and charming and beautiful, all bundled up in one.
Not to mention, the sex was damn good.
I felt good when I was around her, that was what it really came down to. It almost felt like when I was on stage. There was something about her that made my insides glow. Something about being with her that just felt right somehow.
Finally, Leah spoke. “Sounds like your bandmates are already living like rock stars,” she said wryly, giving me a crooked smile. “Have you tried reminding them how precarious their position is? How fleeting fame can be if they don’t put the work in? Maybe that would push them to get back in the studio.”
My mouth twisted in frustration. Her words made sense, and I wished I believed words like that might make a difference. “I don’t think they’d get that,” I sighed. “They’re so focused on sex, booze, and who knows what else that they just don’t have the bandwidth
to conceptualize that.”
“Sure,” Leah said, shrugging. “You know, when I was a math tutor, I realized that I needed to put things into terms that my students could understand. Deal with things that they had actually experienced. A lot of times, I’d remind them that if they failed, they’d only have to take the class over again, which meant prolonging the torture.”
I understood what she was saying, but not quite what she was getting at. “Maybe it’s not so much the threat of losing it or never getting it—maybe it’s the reminder that otherwise they’re going to have to go back to the way things were before you got big,” she said.
I blinked down at her. “That’s not a bad idea,” I said slowly. Then, I shook my head. “I’m not sure they’re listening, though.”
Leah grinned at me. “You weren’t much interested in listening to me about the drumming, either, until I threatened to go to the landlord,” she reminded me.
I snorted, unable to help my amusement. I felt even more guilty at having disturbed her that night, even if I was happy with the way things had ended, with her here in my arms.
“Maybe I should have you talk to them,” I suggested teasingly. “You could put the fear of God in them.”
Leah laughed, and there was something so sweet and pure about the sound that I couldn’t help but kiss her again. She allowed me to for a moment, then slowly detangled herself from me. “I need to get some sleep,” she said, getting to her feet and grabbing her discarded robe.
I felt disappointment boil inside of me. I could tell that she didn’t mean to stay there. Still, I couldn’t help but mention, “My bed is just this way.”
Leah shook her head, but there was a fleeting look of regret on her face. “I can’t,” she said gently. She cleared her throat. “I have a meeting early tomorrow morning, and I really need to be rested for it.”
I wondered if it was another excuse, if she was just trying to get away from me like she had the last time. I guess it didn’t really matter either way. The point was, she wasn’t staying.
I was disappointed by that. I couldn’t remember ever being so invested in sleeping arrangements before. Still, I forced myself to get slowly to my feet. There was a part of me that was kicking myself. Maybe if I hadn’t fucked her right there in the hallway, maybe if I had taken her to the bedroom like the prized catch that she was, then she wouldn’t feel like this was nothing more than a quick fling.
Maybe she would have felt like she could stay.
In any case, it was too late for those regrets now. She was re-robed, smiling gently up at me. She stood on her tiptoes and gave me one last kiss, but this one was quick and emotionless. “See ya,” she said. Then, she headed back to her place, leaving me alone in my front hall.
I headed into the living room, looking longingly at my drums. But no. As much as I wanted to summon her back over here, I wouldn’t do that to her. She had said that she had a meeting in the morning. I could only imagine how pissed she would be if I kept her up all night.
Besides, I didn’t really feel all that much like drumming anymore. I felt quietly restless, but it didn’t feel like drumming could fix things. I needed to do something productive. Something like talking to my bandmates.
There was nothing I could do right now, though. I headed into my room and climbed into bed. In spite of the earlier exertion, it was a long time before I fell asleep.
16
Leah
I looked around the bar, trying not to feel out of place. I was in a dim booth with Piper, and Jayson’s band was about to play. I had been excited when Piper suggested we go to the show. I had looked up the band’s gig schedule on their social media pages, but I hadn’t wanted to go alone. Still, I hadn’t felt comfortable asking Piper if she wanted to go with me, not after I had told her about sleeping with Jayson.
I hadn’t told her about the second incident, the one that had involved him fucking me right there in the middle of the hallway. I still got shivers thinking back to it, but I couldn’t help wondering if maybe I should have felt ashamed of myself.
Who was I, anyway? How had I gone from someone who never had one-night stands to someone who let someone fuck them on the floor as though… Well, as though I was just some needy groupie.
I didn’t know how to talk to Piper about all of it, the crisis of confidence in who I was. I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe coming to LA had been a mistake, but since I had only moved to LA because of the job and because Piper was my coworker at said job, I knew that telling her about it all could complicate things.
In any case, when she had asked if I wanted to go see the band play that night, I had been secretly relieved, in spite of how nervous I’d been. Yet it hadn’t taken two minutes of being there before I regretted letting her drag me along.
It had definitely been a mistake, that much was clear. I didn’t want to watch him flirt with groupies, but already there was a crowd gathered around the stage, most of them thin, young, sexy women.
My mouth twisted as I watched one blonde in particular. She was standing off to the side of the stage, chatting with Jayson as he finished setting up his things for the show. I hated her immediately, and I didn’t even know her. Still, I could tell from the way she smiled at him and flipped her hair back that she wanted him.
I didn’t want anyone else to have him.
I wondered where the jealousy was coming from. I wasn’t sure I had ever felt that way before. Did it mean I had feelings for him? What was I going to do about it if so?
Piper rapped her fingers on the table in between us. “Those girls have nothing on you,” she said seriously as I turned back to her. I gave my friend a smile, even if I didn’t feel the same sense of assurance. Surely if Jayson didn’t want the attention, if he wasn’t interested in her, then he would have shut her down by now?
My thoughts were thankfully interrupted by the sound of the band beginning their show, Mark starting to talk to the crowd through the mic and Carter starting to strum a few aimless and wandering chords.
It wasn’t just coincidental that my jealousy subsided as the blonde girl fell back with a small frown on her face, Jayson clearly having said something to disappoint her.
The band was every bit as good as they had been the previous time I had seen them, but in light of what Jayson had told me the night we had slept together on his rug, I couldn’t help watching everyone a little more closely than before. I could see signs of the undercurrents he had mentioned. I could see that Mark flirted with the crowd with more relish than he seemed to put into any of their songs. I could see Carter’s small stumble that nearly took him off the stage in the middle of a particularly tricky solo.
They were talented, and I knew I wouldn’t have picked up on it if I hadn’t known to look for it. At the same time, it was only a matter of time before things went too far, before it all boiled over.
I hoped for Jayson’s sake that that wouldn’t happen. I hoped that the guys could get it together for long enough to hit the big time.
As the show went on, I started getting into the music as did everyone else. The girls at the front of the stage were all dancing seductively, drawing the attention of the band. Mark was only encouraging them. My jealousy flared up again. How could I possibly hope to hold Jayson’s attention in light of all of that? I didn’t even know how to play the game.
Fortunately, Piper seemed to realize just what I was thinking. “Come on,” she said, suddenly grabbing my hands and dragging me out to the dance floor. “I know how to deal with girls like that,” she breathed into my ear. She gave me a wicked smile as she pulled back a little, her hands catching my hips and moving me along with her.
She danced with me, and I tried my best to keep up with her, to match her move for seductive move. I knew that I probably looked stiff and awkward, like I had no idea what I was doing. At least at first. But then the music took over, pounding through me, and I let myself go. It wasn’t long before I spun away from Piper. When I turned toward the stage,
Jayson’s cautious attention was trained on me.
I smirked at him, doing everything in my power to make him lose his concentration as I swung my hips to the beat. He didn’t mess up, but from the smoldering heat in his gaze, as well as the way his eyes never left me, I knew I was having an effect on him.
Maybe Piper was right. Maybe I could have him if I really wanted him. The thought sent a thrill through me.
The set eventually came to an end, and the crowd erupted with noise. I grinned ruefully at Piper as she gave me an “I told you so” look. “I guess I owe you a drink,” I shouted above the applause.
Piper laughed and we headed toward the bar. I glanced back over my shoulder, but Jayson was already preoccupied in breaking things down. Still, it was only a matter of time before he found me.
I didn’t want to speculate on where the evening might end, but I had a good feeling we might end up in bed again, if nothing else. Even though I still had some reservations about the whole thing, I had to admit I wanted him.
We waited at the bar to get the bartender’s attention. It seemed like everyone else had the same idea as us, needing a refresher as soon as the set was over. I supposed that was a good sign for the band. Everyone had been so engrossed in the music that empty glasses had gone unheeded until now. They really were that good.
Someone suddenly dropped their arm around my shoulders, and I smiled. I turned, expecting to see Jayson there. Instead, it was the singer, Mark. He leered at me. “You know, I couldn’t keep my eyes off you the whole set,” he said. “Do you have any idea what you do to a man?”
I blinked up at him, still trying to process. Yet again, I felt like I just didn’t know the rules of the game. Was this a thing? Jayson thought he could just sleep with me and then tell his bandmates that I was easy and they could have at me?
The Boy Next Door: A Standalone Enemies-to-Lovers Romance Page 8