by Hamel, B. B.
But I don’t believe that voice anymore. And even if it’s true, even if this is all part of the game still, I don’t know if I care.
Because it feels so good to be in bed with him. Maybe I’ll regret it later, but right now I just want more. I want more of him, more hours spent with him.
I feel like I’m coming up for air for the first time since coming to this school. After showering, I come back into the room to find him sitting up in bed. He smiles like it’s no big deal to see me wrapped in nothing but a towel.
“Come here,” he says.
“I don’t know. You have a bad look in your eye.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“The kind of look that gets people in trouble.”
He laughs. “It’s the good kind of trouble. The kind you keep coming back for.”
I grin at him and walk over to the bed. He grabs me and pulls me into his lap. I squeal as he kisses my neck and pulls my towel down.
“Careful,” I say. “I’m still wet.”
“I know you are.”
I roll my eyes but he kisses me and I quickly forget anything else.
It’s so simple. I don’t know how I didn’t see it earlier. Despite all the crazy going on around us, we like each other.
There’s not all that much more to it. We really, really like each other.
I feel good with him, in this room, in his arms. I can already hear the voices in my head starting to go quiet.
Starting to accept that he’s not bullshitting me, not leading me on. That he likes this as much as I do.
We kiss slowly and I feel him unwrap my body from the towel. He’s right, I was wet from the towel, but now I’m wet from him.
But before anything can happen, a ringing phone breaks up the moment.
“What’s that?” I ask. “It sounds like a landline.” I frown a little bit.
He chuckles. “You know what that sounds like?”
“My parents still have one.”
“Of course.”
I slide off him and wrap the towel around me again. He looks disappointed and I laugh as I scamper over to the dresser. There are underwear and clothes I can put on.
“I’ll get it,” he says, getting up and stretching. He’s wearing only a pair of boxer briefs and I can tell he was looking forward to unwrapping my towel as much as I was looking forward to letting him.
“Good boy,” I say.
He growls at me with a smile on his lips, walks over, grabs me by the hips, and kisses me.
The phone keeps ringing though, so he walks off. I slide on some underwear, some shorts, and a t-shirt. It’s all luxurious and soft, like it’s been through the wash a thousand times. I wonder where he got all this stuff from and how he knew my size, but I decide not to ask. I’m sure it’s all outrageously expensive.
I hear him talking in the other room, his voice muffled by the door. I smile and walk over to the bed, wondering why I even bothered getting dressed.
Well, I guess it’s more fun to take it all off again.
I lounge on the bed while Reed talks in the other room. I wish he’d hurry up already. I’m probably missing class right now but I don’t think that matters one bit.
Finally, he appears in the doorway. He’s not smiling, though. He looks angry.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, sitting up straight.
“We need to go see Dean Trim,” he answers softly. “Get dressed.”
I stare at him. “What? Why?”
He shakes his head. “I’m not sure. But I don’t think it’s good.”
My heart hammers in my chest. “Reed…”
He shakes his head again and doesn’t say another word. He goes into the bathroom, brushes his teeth, and then comes back out to finish dressing.
We have clothes on fifteen minutes later and we head out, walking side by side. He seems nervous, agitated. When I try to ask him what’s going on, he just grunts at me. “Not sure,” he says and refuses to elaborate.
I can’t help but feel like this is the axe that was waiting to drop. We were finally getting along and things felt right. I was ready to give in and trust him, let him take care of me, let this whole crazy situation slide off my back. I was finally ready to do the real thing with him.
But now it feels like we’re getting yanked back into a situation I don’t want anything to do with, and I suspect he doesn’t, either.
Dean Trim’s office is in the main administration building on the far side of campus. We walk through the crowded mid-morning sidewalks and I guess it’s between classes.
I feel Reed’s hand brush against my side before he laces his fingers through mine. I glance at him but he’s staring straight ahead, anger in his eyes. I squeeze his hand and even though I feel like the whole campus is staring, I don’t let go.
The night before keeps playing through my mind. The way he touched me, the way it felt. And this morning, waking up in the same bed as him. Maybe we’re playing directly into the hands of this insane system, but I guess I’m starting to give up fighting it.
At the end of the day, after all this, I don’t care about any of that. He makes me feel good. He makes me feel special.
He smiles at me for a second as we reach the admin building. “You okay?” he asks.
“Honestly? You’re acting like we’re walking into a firing squad.”
He hesitates a second and brings my hand up to his lips. “We might be.” He lightly kisses my fingers.
“Reed? You’re freaking me out.”
“Listen, no matter what happens, I’ll take care of you.”
“Okay.” I bite my lip and he nods once before turning and heading inside. He lets my fingers slip from his hand.
I hesitate but I follow him inside.
The admin building is about what you’d expect from the administrative wing. The entryway is simple with a plaque listing the different departments, their floors, and their room numbers. Reed doesn’t even glance at it, just calls the elevator and takes us to the top floor. I notice as we step inside that there are no listings for the top floor.
We ride up in silence before the doors open directly into a lavishly decorated waiting room.
He walks up to a chic, smart-looking woman in her early fifties with long dark hair pulled up and thick-rimmed dark glasses. She doesn’t smile at him. “You’re late,” she says.
Reed glares at her. “They all in there?”
“Go right in.”
I don’t get to look around much, but the floors are covered with plush beautiful carpets and the art hanging on the walls looks expensive. We walk up to a big set of wooden double doors and Reed pushes one open, letting me go inside first.
The dean’s office is even more lavish than the waiting room. Gold trim lines the walls and floors, the plush carpet continuing up under the enormous wooden desk. Statues hang in the corners and there’s a birdcage with what looks like a huge parrot perched up on a little ledge.
Dean Trim sits behind his desk, looking at us over his thin spectacles. And sitting in two chairs in front of his desk are a man I don’t recognize and Nora.
I stare at the girl and she grins back wickedly.
“You’re late,” Trim says.
“I wasn’t in a hurry,” Reed responds.
“Of course not,” the man says.
Reed glares at him. “Felix. Should’ve guessed.”
He smiles almost sweetly. He’s a handsome man, older than Reed, with dark brown eyes and messy brown hair with a bit of gray along the sides. He has a wicked smile and he’s dressed in an expensive suit.
“Kayla, Reed, please,” Dean Trim says, gesturing at another set of chairs pulled up to the side. “Sit.”
I hesitate but Reed takes control and grabs a seat. I sit next to him, crossing my legs. Nora’s still smiling wickedly at me, and I can only guess what’s in store for us if she’s this happy.
Dean Trim looks like this is the worst day of his life. He’s sweating, frowning, and can’t seem to si
t still. Clearly whatever’s happening here isn’t his idea of a good time. The man’s agitated and I can only guess why.
“I’m sorry we have to have this conversation,” Dean Trim says.
Reed barks a laugh. “I bet you are.”
Trim winces. “Please, Reed. I don’t want to see any of my, er, sponsors go through this, much less my students.” Trim glances at me. “I’m sorry, my dear, but there are rules.”
I look from Trim to Reed to the man named Felix, completely confused. I avoid Nora’s look. I simply can’t take staring into her smug little smile right now without getting up and hitting her.
“What’s going on?” I ask, a little wild.
Reed glances at me with a frown but it’s the man named Felix that speaks up.
“Your sponsor here broke some rules, it seems.”
“What fucking rules?” Reed growls.
“No need to get angry,” Trim quickly interjects. “We can solve this amicably.”
“Can we?” Felix purrs. The more I look at him, the more he looks like some kind of slimy creature, or maybe a fox with mange. “From my perspective, Dean Trim, this man has been interfering with the life of my chosen girl since the beginning.”
My eyes bug out of my head. “Chosen?” I say. “You’re sponsoring her?”
Nora’s smug grin gets bigger. “That’s right,” she says.
“It’s a new situation,” Felix admits, glancing at Dean Trim. “But that doesn’t change the facts.”
Trim looks like someone is stabbing his feet with icepicks. “Do you deny the charges, Reed?” he asks.
I look at Reed and he sits there quietly. I can feel the anger rolling off him in waves. He clenches his fists and slowly releases them, his entire body tense like he’s about to get up and pounce on Felix.
Instead, he releases a breath and looks at Trim. “They were bullying her,” he says softly.
Dean Trim nods sympathetically. “Yes, I’m sure of that.”
Nora opens her mouth to say something but her sponsor cuts her off. “Regardless of the situation, the rules are clear.”
“That’s also true,” Dean Trim admits. “Unfortunately.”
“Then I don’t deny them.” Reed says it clearly and almost proudly. “I’d interfere again if I had to.”
Dean Trim sighs like that’s the last thing he wanted to hear. Both Nora and Felix look triumphant.
“Rules are rules, Dean Trim,” Felix says.
“What rules?” I say loudly. “Can someone tell me what’s happening here?”
“I tried to explain to you before,” Reed says softly, putting a hand on mine. “Sponsors aren’t allowed to get involved with the personal life of their sponsored girl.”
“That makes no sense,” I say. “Why would that even be a thing? I mean, isn’t this whole situation manufactured exactly to do that?”
Reed glances at Dean Trim. “She has a point.”
“The reason for the rule isn’t up for debate here,” Trim says almost wistfully. “Truth is, the reason is maybe a tad outdated at this point, but it remains vital.”
“Enough of this,” Felix growls. “We don’t need to go back and forth all day. Trim, he admitted his guilt. So what’s the punishment?”
Everyone stares at Dean Trim. My heart beats fast and I think I might cry.
Just when things were looking good, this has to happen. Finally, I was starting to really let myself fall for this man, but here we are, back where we started. I feel defeated, so defeated. It’s like nothing I can do will ever be right or ever work out.
Dean Trim opens his mouth to speak but Reed interrupts him.
“Wait. Before you pass judgment.” Reed looks at me. “Show him your hands.”
I frown at him. “My hands?”
“Show him.”
Slowly I hold my hands up, palms out toward the dean. He lets out a little grunt of surprise.
Reed does the same thing. We both show them our hands, red from the burns we got yesterday.
“What the hell does that prove?” Felix growls, but Nora looks a little uncomfortable.
“I got involved because this girl and her two friends were burning Kayla’s backpack and books,” Reed says, his voice almost a whisper. “I watched her burn herself trying to stop them and I did the same thing. Dean Trim, you have to see that this isn’t some run-of-the-mill bullying or hazing or whatever you want to call the sick shit that goes on around here. This was twisted and evil and nobody else was going to help her.” Reed lets out a growl of frustration. “Fucking hell, even if she weren’t my sponsored girl, I still would’ve stepped in.”
The dean’s eyebrows go up and he looks at Nora. “Is that true?”
Felix cuts in. “It doesn’t matter,” he says, but Trim waves a hand to silence him.
Trim leans forward toward Nora. “Speak, girl. Is that true?”
She nods once. “Yes. It was supposed to be a prank, we didn’t want her to get hurt. She’s the one that burned herself.”
Trim sits back, a look of mild disgust on his face. He shakes his head and Nora falls silent as he steeples his fingers in front of his face.
“I’ll be honest,” he says softly. “In all my years running this, I’ve never come across a situation quite like this one. Reed, interfering more than once was very stupid of you. And Nora, it sounds like you are a particularly gifted young sadist.” He sighs and leans back, closing his eyes for a moment.
“Dean Trim—” Felix starts but the dean sits up straight and glares at him.
“And you. You’re only doing this because you have some strange grudge against Reed. What the hell do you hate so much about him, anyway?”
Felix doesn’t answer but Reed speaks up. “I slept with his ex-girlfriend ten years ago. He still doesn’t like me because of it.”
Everyone stares at him, including me. He looks at me and sighs. “They were broken up at the time,” he says with a shrug.
“Fucking prick,” Felix growls.
“I admit, I’m a flawed human.” A hint of his normal, cocky grin. “Anyway, we weren’t even friends at the time.”
I roll my eyes at him and Trim groans.
“Enough,” he says. “Okay. This is my ruling.”
We all look at the man. He makes a pained expression and addresses me specifically.
“Kayla, you’ve done nothing wrong in this situation, but unfortunately the punishments are clear in these situations. When a sponsor interferes, the girl he is sponsoring gets removed from the school.”
I suck in a sharp breath and Reed sits forward, suddenly very alert. “Trim,” he growls, but the dean holds up a hand.
“However,” he says quickly, and the room quiets down again. “This is clearly a special case. And so here is what’ll happen. Kayla, you will lose your sponsorship. You may not be sponsored again at this institution and all the privileges, financial and otherwise, will be taken away. Do you understand?”
I nod. “I understand.”
“That’s the same as kicking her out,” Reed protests.
Felix and Nora give each other smug grins and Trim holds up his hands. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I have no other choice. I will allow her to stay here if she so wishes, but the sponsorship is gone.”
“This is fucked up,” Reed says, anger spilling out. Felix grins at him.
“Shouldn’t break the rules, asshole,” Felix says.
“Enough,” Trim says loudly. “Reed, you may sponsor someone new or you may leave the institution entirely. It’s your choice.”
Reed looks disgusted. “You people are broken.” He stands up and looks at me. “If you want to stay, you should stay. But if you want to come with me…” He trails off, frowns slightly, and then walks to the door.
I sit there, not sure what to do. Trim is watching me and so are Felix and Nora. I’m tempted to spit in her face, just to get that smug smile from her overprivileged mouth.
But I don’t do that. Instead, I get up and I
follow Reed.
I don’t know what I’m choosing here. I don’t know what my future will hold. I have no backup plans and I can’t afford to stay at this school without the sponsorship.
But Reed is the only one here that cares about me, and I can’t let that go.
16
Reed
I feel devastated.
I don’t know how else to put it. I feel like I ruined this poor girl’s life.
“I’m sorry,” I say to Kayla as we walk across the campus back toward the apartment.
“Don’t be.” She takes my hand and squeezes it. “This whole place is broken. You’re right.”
I stare at the ground. “If I had kept my temper, none of this would be happening.”
“And they would’ve found some other way to mess with you.”
Anger flares through me. “I should just crush them.”
“And gain what?”
I glance at her. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll feel better.”
“Maybe. But I doubt it.”
I grind my teeth for a moment before slowly releasing my anger in one long breath.
“Come on,” I say, and lead her quickly along.
I take her back to the apartment. Fortunately, our cards still work. We get up into her room and pack everything we can before stepping back out into the hall.
But instead of going down and leaving, I take her further up. We go up to the top of the stairs and push out onto the roof of the building. I put the bags down and lead her over to the short wall that separates us from the ground below.
We both lean against it, looking out over the campus. “Remember the last time we were up here?” I ask, grinning at her.
“I don’t think I can ever forget,” she says, laughing softly.
“Did you ever think it would lead us here?”
“Not at all,” I admit.
“I didn’t either.”
We go silent again and I reach out to take her hand. She lets me hold it for a little while as we look at the campus.