That wasn’t Maria.
“Don’t be an idiot,” he chided himself, nodding sheepishly at a passing couple he gratefully didn’t recognize.
The couple broke his trance and he turned away from the window. The chill dissipated and he found there was nothing odd about the muggy London evening. In his haste to leave everything he’d ever known he must have let his imagination run away with him.
He told himself to look again for reassurance that he was being an idiot. It took a count of ten to make himself do it. When he turned back, the curtains in the window were completely drawn, not even a sliver of light from Maria’s room shining through to the outside.
With a sigh, he turned away for the last time, ready to start his journey.
***
Ariana hid the book in her room, sick to death of the thing. She looked longingly at her bed, thinking if she went to sleep maybe she’d wake up to find it was all a bad dream.
She considered going straight through the portal, getting Mrs. Hedley to make her a nice fruit pie and pretending she was the daughter of that other Lord Ashford who was rarely home and often drunk when he was.
With a start she realized for the first time that he must be some relation to her. She shook her head in disgust. That sot Lord Ashford must be one of her brothers’ offspring. Even that thought gave her a sour feeling. As she wondered how her descendents could be so horrible, she had to admit it was because they came from horrible people. Her brothers were wild donkeys. She herself was spoiled and conceited, and her parents were liars.
All at once, the tears she had been fighting since watching Owen walk away from her started to fall. She slapped them away, determined to be angry instead of sad. As much as she blamed her parents for being the root of all her current evil, she only wanted them to hug and dote on her like when she was small. And the wicked part of her wanted to rub it in their faces that Owen was gone.
She went downstairs to find something to take her mind off her swirling thoughts and heard all the adults still arguing in the sitting room. It seemed like hours had passed, but the way Owen had hastily tossed everything into his trunk and run off like they had the plague, it might not have been that long at all. A worried looking maid hovered in the hallway and Ariana asked her what they were arguing about.
“Your cousin, Lady Ariana. Your mum rang for tea but I admit I’m fearful to interrupt.”
“I’ll take it in,” she said.
As soon as the maid gave her the tray and left, she set it down on the floor and pressed her ear to the door. She smirked. Still listening at doors to get all her information.
Aunt Serena continued her argument for not letting Owen go. Ariana’s heart ached, wishing the bloody grownups would admit what they were, find him, and bring him back. If they were so out of practice they couldn’t cast a simple location spell, she’d do it. She had a feeling it would be a mere flick of the wrist for Uncle Kostya if he really wanted his son back. But according to his impassioned argument, he didn’t. Not at all.
“Look at how Camilla had it bursting out of her,” he said. Ariana could tell he was pacing by the way his voice grew louder then quieter. “She could make flowers flutter off their stems like butterflies, all without uttering a single word. She couldn’t hide it, and she bloody well couldn’t control it, not with—” he stopped, choked up.
Ariana knew something awful had happened with her Aunt Camilla. She died before Ariana was born but Nick told her there had been an uproar surrounding her. Apparently she left Uncle Kostya for another man after their little daughter died in an accident. That was scandalous enough, but then it was rumored that she killed that man and fled to France to try and hide it. Nick didn’t know what happened after that.
“My point being,” Uncle Kostya said, recovering himself, “is that we know Owen has it in his blood. He called to the book before he was even born.”
Ariana gasped and hurriedly stepped away from the door in case they heard her. What was this now? She tiptoed back and heard Serena crying inconsolably about something being all her fault.
“Nonsense, Serena,” her father interrupted. “Kostya’s right. Owen couldn’t be any other way with his lineage. It’s best he seek out the Povests. Sorin will help him understand and control his powers. I only wish our mother or grandmother had explained it all to us. Then perhaps things might have gone differently with Cammie.”
Ariana’s fists clenched. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!
“We should talk to Ariana about it as well,” Uncle Kostya said. “Just because she’s shown no signs of it yet doesn’t mean she doesn’t have it in her. It’s in her blood, same as us, Julian.”
She couldn’t stand still another minute. Perhaps this was it. They would tell her everything and she could forgive them. She burst into the room and her mother nearly jumped out of her skin at the sight of her. Ariana imagined she must look rather wild. One by one she saw them erecting walls. Their eyes shuttered against her coming storm.
Please, she prayed. Let them tell me.
“Owen’s gone,” she said.
Aunt Serena put her face in her hands and her mother rushed to console her. No one offered her any explanation.
“He’ll be fine,” Uncle Kostya said tersely.
“But why did he leave? Where’s he going? Is he in trouble? Why were you so upset earlier?”
She thought that they had to answer at least one of those questions and she was ready to attack with even more.
But she was wrong. Her father looked at her with the stern face that usually made her back down from any arguments.
“He’s gone to visit Kostya’s family, his cousins in Moldavia. That’s all, Ariana.”
It was a dismissal but she didn’t budge. “But why were you so angry? Was it about Maria? That was just silliness. If he’s running away because of her, go get him and tell him he doesn’t have to. It doesn’t matter, does it, Mum?”
She sighed. “It’s not about Maria, honey. It’s nothing you need to worry about. Owen will be fine. I’m sure he’ll write to you the moment he arrives at his cousin’s.”
Ariana clenched her teeth, her fists, even her knees were tense. This was it. She had one last card to show. One last chance for them to stop their ridiculous lying.
“What about that book, then? Why did you act so upset about it?”
She expected gasps or an awkward silence. But her father was as smooth and slippery as freshly churned butter with his quick reply.
“What book?” He shook his head at her, clearly annoyed.
But she was more than annoyed. She opened her mouth to tell him she knew about the book and to demand that they tell her the truth for once. Tell her why they were so pig-headed and cruel and afraid.
“Ariana, go on upstairs,” her mother said before she could get the words out. Ariana stared hard at her but she didn’t blink, didn’t flinch. “We’re all a little tired from what happened the other night. I’ve been writing apology letters nonstop. I suggest you do the same. It’s nice you fixed everything with Maria but you still need to apologize to Lottie and all the patronesses of the charity. You’re the talk of the town, young lady, and not in a good way.”
Ariana didn’t think she could take anymore pain. She had lost Owen and when her parents were given a golden chance to finally share her heritage with her, they chided her for her childish outburst at their ball. Instead of breaking like she thought it would, her heart went cold. She forced the corners of her lips to raise in a weak facsimile of a smile and bobbed her head.
“Of course, Mother.”
She was done with them. She kept her head lowered and left the room, carefully closing the door behind her.
Chapter 23
It wasn’t until Ariana got back to her room that she slammed the door. She tried to calm herself down, hating the tears that streamed down her cheeks. The nerve of all of them! The absolute audacity they had in bold-facing lying to her.
No, what h
urt the most was how stupid they must think her. How little they must trust her. Well, she didn’t trust them one whit anymore. So much for getting a comforting hug from her mother. She took a deep shuddering breath and stomped over to her mirror.
“No more,” she told her blotchy reflection. “No more tears, no more wishing things were different. Owen’s gone. Your parents are no help. You’re on your own now, Riri. Unless you want to amble back downstairs and pretend nothing’s wrong.”
She stuck her tongue out and turned away, thinking she needed to pack. But why? That was only a waste of time when nothing she had was in style in her new time. It wouldn’t take anything to have an entire new wardrobe made and she could use one of Gloria’s little potion bags until then.
It was time to strike out on her own. She couldn’t continue on the way she had been. Living a double life was too tiring. And even though her parents could look her straight in the face and lie to her, she decided she didn’t want to be like them.
As she paced back and forth, trying to make a decision, she stubbed her toe on the spell book. She looked down at it with revulsion, as if it was what tore Owen away from her, ripped her family apart. It was certainly the root of all the lies.
“Bugger it,” she said, heading for the portal room.
If Owen didn’t need the damned book, neither did she. Let them both start fresh. The thought of Owen brought more tears to her eyes but she angrily blinked them away. There was no possible way on God’s green earth that she’d never see Owen again. It might feel like it now, but it wasn’t the end. It wasn’t.
Her initial inclination was to go to the future. Mrs. Hedley was the sweetest woman she knew, perhaps next to Farrah. There went a new clutch at her heart. Farrah would miss her. Oh God, and the boys. Her stinky little brothers would cry their fool heads off when she didn’t return. Her father would tear up the ends of the earth to find her.
“Can’t let that happen,” she said, sniffling.
As sorry as she felt toward her brothers, Farrah, and her few real friends, she didn’t want to carry on this way anymore. Perhaps she’d eventually use her spell to make herself come through ten minutes after she left. She’d never gone much longer than a few days so she wasn’t sure if it would work after an extended period.
Would that mean her family had to stay in limbo? Sometimes she hated time travel. It was so confusing. But wasn’t it her birthright? After all, it was her family home that had the portal, giving them the bizarre means to do it. And now that she knew that other spell of Gloria’s she didn’t need to rely on the Belmary House portal. She could truly break ties.
She wracked her mind and finally decided. She mustered every bit of power she knew she had and focused it all on the portal. Pressing her fingernails into her palms, she gritted her teeth against the pain until she finally felt the sick snap of breaking skin. If she ever need the help of the elusive others, it was now. Splashing a drop of blood into the corner, she closed her eyes and let the words flow.
“That should be good and broken now,” she said, feeling both sad and smug.
It only took her a few minutes to sneak out of the house. With only the clothes on her back, she raced down the street to the nearest park. She felt confident if she went into the trees, she would end up in a spot that was enough the same in 1898 that she wouldn’t pop up in front of anyone.
As she settled herself on the ground, she had a final tug of apprehension. Was she really ready to say goodbye to her family? She knew everyone in her chosen time loved and accepted her. But she’d still be on her own. A few days at a time was fine, but forever? She was always surrounded by her nanny, her rambunctious brothers, Owen, even her parents. Someone who was specifically hers, on her side no matter what. Could she count on her friends in the future for that sort of support?
A rakish grin flashed through her mind as she crumbled the rare herbs Gloria gave her. Of course! Nick! He was fun and sweet and gorgeous.
He also knew her parents, which was a definite downside. But so what? It wasn’t as if he was close with them, not like his brother Jeremy who was practically an uncle to her. She felt quite certain he didn’t see her as her mother’s daughter. How could he? The time he knew her mother, she wasn’t even married to her father yet. And Nick was so much fun. She needed someone happy and carefree in her life. She was sick of all the angst.
She realized the card he gave her with his address on it was stuck in her wardrobe somewhere. She remembered the street name. Surely it would be enough to find him again. A smile crept up her cheeks. When was the last time she smiled? She was sure it was with Nick, which resolved her at last.
She picked at the half-moon shaped spots she made on her palm with her fingernails until they reopened and let a few drops of blood fall onto the dried herbs. She only needed to say the words and sing a song. She smiled dreamily and chose a love song about new beginnings.
Opening her eyes, she knew at once the spell was a success. It increased her confidence tenfold. Who needed the spell book? She was glad she left it behind, the final tie to her old life and family. It was an especially warm day and Ariana thought even the sun was on her side. After she found Nick’s street, she frowned to see it wasn’t very nice.
There were a few ramshackle shops along with some houses at the end of the short lane. One of the houses had a sign tacked to its drooping porch, advertising it as a boarding home. Climbing the creaky stairs, she knocked on the door. An age seemed to pass before a woman with an apron and kerchief answered.
“You’re in luck,” she said, rubbing her nose with the hem of her apron. “I’ve just had a vacancy. But there’s a curfew for women. I don’t take that sort here.”
Ariana blushed crimson, brought to momentary silence by the crude welcome.
“I wasn’t in need of a room,” she said, dropping a curtsy though the woman didn’t deserve one. “I was looking for a Nicholas Kerr, if you’ve heard of him? He resides on this street. Or so I thought.”
“Well, you thought right, but you’re too late, young miss. He’s the reason I’ve a vacancy.”
Ariana sagged as much as the porch. Nick had been dressed so finely it was hard to believe he lived in such squalor.
“Are you certain? He has blond hair and is rather tall…”
The woman shooed at her as if she didn’t have time for such conversations. “I’m certain. And good riddance to him, the wastrel. If you’re not looking for a room, then I’ll take my leave.”
“Wait,” Ariana said, reaching forward to grab the woman’s greasy sleeve. “Do you know where he went?”
“The port, I believe. God only knows where after that.”
The port? Ariana had never been there in her life. She didn’t bother asking for directions as the woman had already slammed herself back inside her boarding house.
Ariana sighed and worked her way back to a more populated street, then hailed a driver. She only had coins from her time, but hopefully he wouldn’t notice. She chuckled to herself, casting a quick hex over them to disguise them. No need for luck when one had magic.
“To the Port of London, please,” she said in her best haughty voice.
When he let her off, she was a bit nervous with all the rowdy men around. Crates and wagons and barrels blocked most of the passages so she had to carefully wend her way around everything to keep her skirts clean.
She recalled that Nick had spoken of going to Italy so she found the nearest place that looked like she wouldn’t be hacked to bits when she entered it. Her confidence rose after a kindly old sailor pointed to a ship at the far end of the docks.
“It shoves off tonight,” he said, looking her over. “Lost your husband, have you?”
She couldn’t help giggling. “Does that happen much?” she asked.
He shrugged. “More often than you think. They think it’s easier to join a crew than it is to support a wife. They’re mostly wrong, of course.”
“Well, thank you. It’s not my husba
nd I’m looking for,” she said. Yet, she thought with an excited shiver.
She wasn’t sure if she liked Nick that much, but she liked him enough to want to know more about him. She hurried her way to the last slip, elbowing past people and keeping her head down. She nearly had her arm yanked from its socket when someone grabbed it and whirled her around.
“What are you doing—” he asked as she struck out at him with her free hand.
She chopped him good alongside his neck, making him drop his grip on her. When he rubbed the place she struck him, she saw it was the very man she had come looking for.
“Oh my God,” she gasped. “Nick! What a terrible shock. I- I’m sorry but you surprised me.”
He shook his head and laughed. “I suppose I should have known better,” he said. “But what are you doing here? And once again without a chaperone. It’s dangerous.”
He waved a hand around, still rubbing at his neck with the other. She took stock of the rough types hauling things to and fro and shrugged.
“Good thing I found you, then. And just in time, since it seems you’re leaving for Italy tonight?”
He nodded. “Yes, I must take care of my investment there. I decided it was the right thing to do.”
She shook her head vigorously and grabbed his hand. “You mustn’t go. Not when we just met. And I came a long way to find you again.”
He stared down at her, finally sighing. “Ariana, I’ve thought of little else but you since you appeared before me like an angel of beauty and brightness. And as much as I’d like to gad about with you, I’m afraid I must tend to this investment.” He cleared his throat and looked past her at the ship. “I’ve fallen on hard times, you see.” He squeezed her hand as she frowned. That must be the reason he was living in such an unsavory abode. “A trusted friend, family really, lied to me. I lost everything. I was too ashamed to tell you the night we met. And I enjoyed your beautiful smile too much.”
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