With a huff, I pushed the phone face-down onto my comforter and turned my attention back to the TV. This was boring and stupid. Really stupid, actually. Why was I lying there, feeling conflicted and confused over someone who clearly didn’t even think twice about my feelings after kissing me?
I knew I couldn’t hang out with Rachel or Jennifer tonight. Rachel was out with her brothers and Jennifer had already made plans with the Anime Club. Everyone had something to do on Halloween night—except me.
I flipped the channel to see an ominous Michael Myers mask in a close-up shot, and changed it immediately. After a few more flips, I finally just turned it off. I could hear my mom and dad speaking softly in the living room, and the doorbell ringing a few times. Trick-or-treaters.
“I think that makes the sixth Elsa I’ve seen tonight,” Mom said to Dad as she sat back down in her chair. The sound of my phone vibrating nearby startled me.
MICAH: Hey
He was actually texting me. I stared at the screen. I knew what I wanted to say, though it probably wouldn’t have been the best ice-breaker. I wanted to leave Micah guessing. He had done the same thing to me all day.
MICAH: U said that u wanted to talk.
MICAH: So let’s talk.
Well, if that wasn’t demanding….
CHARLIE: This isn’t talking. This is texting.
MICAH: U know what I mean.
CHARLIE: Well, if you want to talk, come over.
MICAH: I’m already on my way
I lowered the phone and stared at my bedroom door. What was he going to say to me? I didn’t want to lose him. Somehow, in all the time that we had spent as English partners, he’d become my friend. A friend that I had enjoyed kissing.
I heard the doorbell ring again. A moment later, my mom was calling my name.
“Charlie, Micah’s here to see you! Oh, look at you, Micah! You’re all dressed up!”
I wouldn’t be surprised if he looked like a drunken mess after Marshall’s party.
As I came out of my room, tugging a sweatshirt over my head, I saw him standing with his hands in his pockets. He was oddly dressed in black clothing with a red tie. He must have seen my confused expression, because he gestured to the black smudges around his eyes.
“I’m the lead singer of Green Day.”
“Oh?” I crossed my arms across my chest. “That, or a punk rock Ken-doll gone wrong.”
Micah smirked. “Sure that works, too.”
Things felt awkward. Mom must have sensed it and backed away into the living room.
“Do you want to go outside?” Micah asked, indicating the front door. I followed him, slipping on a pair of sneakers as I went.
We stepped out onto the well-lit porch and walked down to Micah’s car. I pushed myself up onto the hood. A group of kids ran down the street with flashlights and decorated Halloween bags, followed by their leisurely parents.
“If you’re here to tell me that you regret kissing me, I get it,” I said bluntly. “I don’t need you to go into a whole speech about feelings and mistakes and...all that. I don’t want to hear it.”
“It’s not that I regret it…” Micah sighed. “I just know that we both agreed to be just friends. Just.” He rested his hand on the hood of his car, while the other was shoved into a pocket of his black pants.
“I don’t want to complicate things between us. I feel bad that I crossed a line. You made it pretty clear you weren’t interested in anything more with me. I’m not looking for a relationship, or anything like that, either.”
“So much for not breaking my heart,” I muttered, feeling a heaviness behind my eyes. God, this hurt.
“I’m sorry, Charlie. Sorry for kissing you. I got wrapped up in the moment.” He directed his stare out to the darkened road.
But I wasn’t sorry. I knew I would never be sorry. If I had the chance to kiss Micah Jacobs again, I would do it. And next time, I wouldn’t allow him to leave.
A long moment of silence passed between us as trick-or-treaters skipped by.
“Do you want to come inside? I was watching Halloween movies.”
“Halloween movies, as in blood and guts or…?” he asked, raising his brow. I smiled in spite of the ache in my chest.
“As in friendly ghosts and quirky witches.”
“Ahhh, your safe stuff.”
“Did you even go to your party?” I asked softly, poking the sleeve of his black shirt.
“It was boring.” He shrugged. “I left.”
“And came to find me,” I said.
“I knew we needed to talk.”
“You were thinking about me at your little get-together and decided to leave because you were probably hoping that, after an apology, I’d agree to go with you. In which case, my answer would be no.”
“Really? No?” Micah leaning forward, plainly amused. He looked dangerously attractive with his smudged eyeliner and “bad-boy” punk appearance. My breath caught as he studied me.
“If my only option is a movie with you, then I guess all I can say is...lead the way.”
“So, you’re done acting weird with me.”
Micah nodded. “Yes, I promise I won’t kiss you again.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. I hadn’t even asked him to make such a stupid promise. I wanted to tell him that I hoped he’d break that promise, but I didn’t have the nerve. I bit my lip as I pushed myself off of the hood of his car.
We walked to the front door, where my dad was standing. Had he been watching us? Micah and I decided to sit in the living room with my mom and dad; the Halloween special, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, was on TV. My dad always liked watching the Peanut gang every holiday.
Eventually, the trick-or-treaters stopped coming to the door and my parents decided they were going to head to bed early.
“Don’t stay up too late, kids.” Dad smiled at us as he left. Micah and I sat on the floor of the living room. It was only a few minutes later when we heard my dad snoring.
“Fast sleeper, huh?” Micah whispered. “I’m kinda jealous.”
“His snoring keeps everyone else awake,” I said, rolling my eyes before standing up. “Do you want to watch any more movies?”
“Nah.” Micah shook his head and hoisted himself up from his spot on the floor. “I think I’ll head home, actually. I could use a shower and I need to clean my face off.”
“Makeup doesn’t really suit you,” I joked.
“I don’t think it suits me either,” Micah said, but instead of leaving, he headed down the hall, into my dad’s workshop—aka Dad’s man cave. None of us ever ventured there unless we had a school project, or in my case, if I needed to sneak a boy in.
“You know, you can go out the front door,” I said. “This is kind of the long way to your car.”
Micah turned, motioning for me to join him in the dark room.
“I know,” he murmured, and then a moment of silence filled the space between us. “Come here, Charlie.” I froze in place at his command. Why? What did he want? Holding my breath, I slowly forced myself to walk forward. I paused just as I came to stand in front of Micah.
“What are you doing?” I asked, but Micah didn’t respond. Instead, he grabbed me by my wrist, and pulled me into his arms. I could feel his heart beating against my chest as he hugged me. His scent filled my nose as I tucked myself into the crook of his arm and neck. There was that something again, coiling tightly in my stomach, as we stood so close, all alone, in darkness, surrounded by my dad’s hammers and wrenches, until Micah finally broke apart. He stared into my eyes; a small smile began to grow gradually on his lips.
“See you, C,” he murmured and squeezed my hand. For a moment, Micah hesitated and I thought he was going to say something more. But he must have changed his mind, because he turned and slipped out through the side garage door,
back out into the Halloween night.
I stood, bewildered, trying to process everything. The only thing I was sure of, as I watched him through a nearby window, was that I knew I wanted more than friendship with him. I wanted more than our playful banter and car rides, listening to his music. And I couldn’t hide behind my denial and fears any longer.
“Storms”
Tom Odell
JOSH AND I SAT IN the living room, eating microwave popcorn while Ben, J and David slapped down Uno cards on the coffee table.
“You totally cheated,” Ben accused J. It did seem pretty convenient that J had the best selection of Draw 4 and Skip/Reverse cards out of everyone—especially since he had dealt that round.
“You’re just a sore loser,” J retorted.
“It’s just a game.” David collected the cards from them. “Do you guys wanna play another round?” J and Ben groaned their response and leaned back against the sofa.
“No, thanks,” Ben replied. “I think I’m Uno-ed out.”
“So, did you ask Rachel to Homecoming yet?” J asked David with a sneaky smirk. “We all expected you to ask her at the dance a few weeks ago. It’s right around the corner.” Our Homecoming dance was later than normal, but just in time for all the real fall festivities to begin.
I looked up from the bowl of popcorn in my lap to David, who started to put the card game away.
“I’m going to ask her, if it really matters to you,” he replied. “But I haven’t yet. I was more focused on having a good time with her.”
I remembered seeing David and Rachel together at the youth group dance. They were smiling and seemed to be having fun with each other. I had meant to ask Rachel about it, but with my own drama, I had forgotten. I was such a terrible friend.
“I think you should ask Rachel,” I said softly. “Not that it really matters what I think. But from what I saw at the dance...” My words drifted as David looked up at me. There was that something written on his face at the mention of Rachel. That very something I felt every time I was near Micah. Did he feel about her the same way I did about Micah?
“And what about you? Have you told that kid that you like him?” Ben spoke up, turning his attention to me.
Josh leaned forward and slid his popcorn bowl onto the table. “If she hasn’t with words, she’s made it pretty apparent by hanging out with him every day.”
“I’ve noticed you out and about with him a lot,” Ben said. My cheeks burned slightly and I threw a kernel at him.
“It’s not like that…”
“You don’t have to lie to us.” J laughed. “You like Micah Jacobs. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have bothered hanging out with him for this long.”
Was it really that obvious? I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I didn’t want the focus of the conversation to be on me or my undeclared feelings for Micah.
“We’re just friends. That’s all. Just friends,” I asserted.
“Just?” David asked with a hint of disbelief. “Is that because you haven’t told him how you feel?”
“It’s...complicated,” I said with a sigh. That part was true, too. It was complicated. Clearly, trying to be anything other than friends was too much for Micah or me. “We finished editing our project, so I probably won’t see him as much anymore,” I added.
“Yeah right,” Josh mumbled. “It’s not like you guys have been working on just your project this whole time.”
“Hush,” I said, tossing a kernel at him, too. “Leave it alone, you guys. We’re just friends.”
“I bet they’ll be a couple by Christmas,” J said with a grin.
“Nah, by New Years,” Ben replied and lifted his fist to J’s. “Loser has to buy pizzas.”
“You guys are seriously betting food over my relationship status?”
Ben smiled. “My stomach doesn’t discriminate! Might as well get something worthwhile out of this!”
“Ugh!” I stood up. “I think I’m gonna go to my room.”
“No, don’t go!” Ben lifted a hand to stop me. “You’re always so sassy.”
“I’m not sassy.” I pursed my lips. Ben laughed, bobbing his head.
“Yeah, you are. You know, it’s all right to like him. No one is gonna care.”
“I’ll care,” Josh piped up. “I don’t want my sister dating a dud.”
“He’s not a dud!” I glared at Josh.
“Is this the end result for you, then, Charlie?” Josh asked, pushing a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Are you choosing Micah Jacobs?”
“Have you told him how you feel?” Ben added, looking between Josh and me, amused. “That might be the next step. How is he ever gonna know without you telling him?”
“Logically,” Josh nodded, “if you like him, you should tell him how you feel.”
My stomach twisted and I swallowed back a hint of what I thought might be puke from nerves.
“I can’t,” I confessed. “Besides, Micah and I are just friends. I only want to be friends. And he told me that he wasn’t looking for a relationship.”
“I’m sure he said that with good reason,” David interjected softly. I raised my brow curiously as David continued. “I’m sure Micah thinks you’d never go out with someone like him. So he told you that he wasn’t interested to avoid getting hurt.”
“But I’m the one who told him I just wanted to be friends…?”
“Exactly. He’s making himself unavailable on purpose.”
In David’s eyes, I found empathy staring back at me. He understood what it was like to think someone would reject him. He was crazy about Rachel, but his fears kept him from doing what he wanted to do the most.
“Maybe you could write him a letter?” David suggested. “Tell him how you feel that way.”
“Oh, I’m sure he’s the type to appreciate a love letter,” Josh snorted.
“I doubt any of you would appreciate a love letter,” I rebutted. “I can’t even recall the last time I saw you guys read anything short of a cereal box.”
“Jackie O,” murmured Ben to J.
“This isn’t about me!” Josh said roughly. They were such little boys. Ben and J snickered as they stole a handful of popcorn from Josh’s bowl.
“You guys really think I should write Micah a note about how I feel?” I questioned them. Ben and J exchanged glances. Josh stuffed a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth, which I supposed was an answer in and of itself. David was the only one who nodded.
“If you wanted to be just friends before,” he began, using finger quotations on the “just” part, “then tell him how your feelings have changed now. You might be surprised to find he feels the same way.”
Was it really that easy?
“You don’t have anything to worry about,” J said with a smile. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious the guy is nuts about you.”
“How?” I asked curiously. How was that so apparent to them, but not to me?
“Well, he comes over all the time. And I see you guys in the hallways. I’ve overheard girls gossip and ask each other if you and Micah are an item,” J explained.
“Those are probably just from the rumors Samantha started,” I scoffed.
“No, really,” Ben insisted. “Really, Charlie. It’s obvious to everyone around you. It’s written on both of your faces when you see each other. Whatever, write the guy. Heck, just tell the guy.”
“I’ll think about it.” I looked down. What exactly could I write? What would I say?
“Thanks, guys.” I got up to return to my bedroom. There were a lot of things I could say to Micah, but I didn’t know where to begin. I closed the door, blocking out the voices of the guys talking about Jackie O. I took a seat on the edge of my bed and grabbed my phone, which was connected to the charger. I had a few messages from Micah waiting for me.
MICAH: ur
pretty quiet today.
MICAH: Whatcha up to?
MICAH: I’m not sure I like this whole silence thing.
MICAH: Maybe I should come over.
MICAH: Hhhhhmmm the things Charlie could be doing.
MICAH: ;)
He had sent the text messages almost an hour ago. I scrolled through them feeling a little thrill of happiness wash over me. Micah had actually been thinking about me. I quickly began to type out a reply.
CHARLIE: I’m here. Sorry! I was busy handling Josh’s friends.
CHARLIE: And I was busy playing Uno with them too.
CHARLIE: It got pretty intense over here.
A moment later…
MICAH: SHE LIVES!!!!!!!!
MICAH: I was banking on the idea that I’d have to come over
MICAH: and perform my new Victor skills on u.
CHARLIE: Chop me up and try to bring me back to life?
MICAH: Yup. Exactly lol
CHARLIE: Didn’t you learn your lesson the first time, V? LOL!
CHARLIE: I mean, if the monster didn’t work out, I won’t have better results either.
MICAH: True, true. Guess it’s a good thing ur alive.
CHARLIE: Miracles!
MICAH: Wanna go see a movie with me?
MICAH: My dad left me some cash for gas and something to do while he’s at work.
The Songs in Our Hearts: A Young Adult Romance Page 18