Freddie gasped in awe and took it in his hands, his eyes ablaze with delight.
“Do you like it?”
“Oh, yes very much! Thank you, sir!”
“Let’s see if it works, shall we?” Christian wound up the toy, and the rocking horse started to spin around its axis, a melancholic melody echoing from its base.
“Oh, it’s lovely! Thank you, sir!” said Freddie, lifting the toy to put it by his ear. He showed it to his mother, who stooped over him to have a better listen. In the meantime, it was getting very loud by the turnstiles, the crowd increasing by the minute.
Laura offered her thanks to Christian for the gift and prompted her son to put it back in the bag for safe-keeping till they returned home. In the ensuing moments, the adults among them stood rather awkwardly, not sure what to do next. Maggie spoke first.
“Right! I think I’ll take the children for a drink and a piece of cake. Why don’t you two have your walk along the Pier, and we’ll meet you there later?” The children started to squeal, tugging Maggie’s skirt and shouting out what sugary treat they fancied. She saw Christian and Laura glance at each other uncertainly. “Why don’t you two catch up for a bit? We won't be long,” she said with a wink.
Laura and Christian smiled, excitement colouring their faces, but they seemed hesitant, keeping their eyes on Maggie, reluctant to look at each other.
Maggie thought they seemed like total strangers, standing so far apart like that, unable to make a simple decision about what to do with their time together. Still, all they needed was a nudge and the chance to talk in private.
“Now, shoo!” she burst out with a wide grin as she took the children by the hand to walk away briskly. Behind her back, she heard Laura and Christian giggling nervously.
Once Maggie and the children were gone, Christian offered his arm to Laura with a gallant gesture. They went to the toll booth and queued for their tickets, then went straight in.
Chapter 27
It was unbelievable. They were finally there. Some damage was visible on the kiosks and pillars, on the deck and the railing here and there. A big part of the deck was missing half way through the Pier; it was the one that the Army blew up during the war. The West Pier Company received a handsome compensation and planned to restore it fully in due course.
Some open stalls and slot machines had been introduced already, and it delighted the two old friends to find them there. Still, what pleased them the most was simply being there together. They continued to saunter along the deck, taking in the deep blue of the wash under the glorious sunlight and the stunning views of the Hove, while the cry of the seabirds delighted their ears.
The crisp air of spring flushed their cheeks pink, and when they reached the Concert Hall, they occupied a nearby bench, their faces beaming.
Laura took a look at the ugly, makeshift fencing, and the view of the Pavilion that was still out of reach beyond it. “I certainly hope they’ll open the Pier in its entirety soon. It’s such a pity we can’t visit the theatre today.”
“I’m sure they’ll open it in good time, Laura. I’m just happy to be here at all and with you, of all people.” Christian met her eyes, holding her gaze tenderly for what seemed like forever.
“It’s been such a long time . . .” she said dreamily with a half-smile, never breaking his gaze.
“Indeed . . .” he replied in the same distracted tone, but the smile he gave her was wide and genuine, causing her to look away. It was too painful. It brought her back to the first time she met him on this very deck, that evening when he wore that brown, rusty scarf around his neck. Back then, he was just a carefree young man, looking for a pretty girl to steal a kiss from and pass the time.
“So, how have you been, Christian?” Laura swallowed hard and tried to smile, but it came out like a mere curl at the corners of her lips. “I mean after the war . . . at the farm.” Her words came out with difficulty. Why do I find it so hard to talk to him?
Christian gave a confident, genuine smile, leaning back on the bench. “I’m doing just fine, Laura. And you? Your news?”
His eyes met hers and they felt like they were aiming to penetrate her thoughts. Laura looked away. “I’m well . . . Nothing exciting to tell, really.” She gave a tight little laugh, and it sounded fake even to her own ears. She bit her lip and ventured another look his way. His eyes were intense, penetrating. “Laura, do you ever wish you could go back in time?”
Laura threw her head back and gazed at the endless blue sky, letting out a spontaneous laugh. It was much too loud, much too over the top, rushing out like a mighty river that had just broken through a dam. The force of its release had seemed unnatural, fearsome. She rolled her eyes. “All the time.”
“Really?” Christian leaned forward, getting closer to her, and ever so slightly, Laura tilted her head towards him, albeit without touching him. They stayed for a few moments like this, without speaking, like two wilted flowers in a vase that had watched the water beneath them slowly diminish, having no power to speak up, or to seek assistance from neglect, before the time had started to run out.
“I think about the night at the Concert Hall a lot,” Laura finally admitted, her eyes closed, as she relived for the millionth time perhaps, that New Year’s Eve dance.
To her surprise, Christian reached out and caressed her hair. Startled, as if awoken from a dream, Laura turned to him, her eyes huge. “I am so sorry, Christian! I should never have hurt you so. I should never have let you go! Please forgive me!” Hot tears started to roll down her cheeks. Sobs erupted from her chest, seeking release, seeking expression, the pent up hurt of eight years, finally free in the company of the only one who had ever mattered.
Christian took her in his arms and held her tight, then cradled her tenderly until her sobs subsided, and she was out of tears. He offered her a handkerchief and caressed her hair again. “If there is one person who should apologise to someone, then that should be me apologizing to you. I left town without a second thought. I’ve been a fool and a coward.”
“No, that’s not true,” said Laura shaking her head, but he put up a hand, stopping her short.
“It is all my fault, Laura. I never gave the love we had a fighting chance.”
“But you don’t know what’s happened! Charles . . . Charles did something terrible!”
“Look, Laura, Maggie tried to tell me what happened, but is it really worth it? I don’t need to know. That’s old news, whatever it is. So he dazzled you with his riches, so what? Even if he cheated and lied to get you to marry him, you made a choice and that’s fine. We all make mistakes.”
“But Christian, I never chose to be with him. He made me! That’s what I’m trying to say . . .”
Christian gave a deep frown and moved back to look at her squarely in the eyes. “What do you mean he made you?”
Laura shook her head, staring at her lap. “He had it all planned. You were so right . . . He is devious and capable of anything. I should have listened to you. I should never have gone to Lakeview that night!”
Christian sat up straight, his expression ablaze with alarm. “Why, what happened there?”
Laura squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head slowly from side to side. “I have to tell you. I want to tell you . . . But now, now that you’re here, I find it impossible.”
Tenderly, Christian took her hand in his. “Tell me, whatever it is. I won't judge you. I love you, Laura! I’ve always loved you!”
Laura’s misty eyes lit up. “Oh Christian! I’m so happy to hear it! I never stopped loving you either!”
Christian took her in his arms and kissed her with a passion they’d only known from the years when they were still mere strangers. The kiss took them both back to the time when their love was still young, burning in their hearts with a fierceness so great, that it kept them up all night just thinking about each other.
When their lips parted, Laura rested her head on his chest. Christian held her close, cradling her ten
derly, as if she were the most precious thing in the world. She had her eyes closed now, and he was looking at the distant horizon, smiling, as her hair tickled his jaw. It felt like the most precious silk in the world.
“So tell me, my love, what happened at Lakeview?”
Laura sat up and gazed into his eyes. He sensed her hesitation and smiled broadly, his hands caressing hers. “Don’t be afraid. Whatever it is, it cannot change my feelings for you. My darling, all that matters is the future now. It’s so clear to me! Can't you see it, too? The past is strewn with devastation and pain for all of us. But you and me, we’ll start our lives anew on a clean slate. I know about Freddie. I know he’s mine! Whatever this vile man has done to you, it won't change a thing. You and Freddie should leave him and come away with me. I’ll take you as my wife and do right by you this time.”
Fresh tears streamed down Laura’s cheeks, and he kissed her again, whispering in her ear that the pain was over. Now was the time for their happiness and their happiness alone. She believed him of course; she needed it so much. Encouraged, she broke her silence at last. “Christian, there’s no pretty way to say it, so I’ll just say it.” She paused to swallow hard. “That night at Lakeview, Charles made an excuse to keep me there overnight. He put something in my drink . . . and then forced himself on me.”
“What?” Christian bolted upright. He paced up and down the deck in front of the bench, and when he turned to her, his expression was one of sheer madness. “I’ll kill him! I swear, I’ll kill him!”
“No, Christian! This is all in the past, remember?” She went up to him and led him back to the bench, and she took his hands in hers as he shook his head fiercely. “No, my love,” she continued, “I am not telling you so that you can go punish him in a rage. I am telling you everything, only because I want you to know I was made to let you go. I’d never have let you go in a million years! Now calm down and let me carry on.”
Christian simply nodded, looking at her with eyes that looked feverish, like live embers. His hands were shaking in hers from the rage he felt, and she raised them up to her lips to kiss them. “Shall I carry on, Christian? Are you all right to listen?”
He nodded, and yet, his brow was furrowed, his chin set. He looked as if he were about to scream, but Laura had no choice. Now she started, she had to tell it all. She’d been waiting for years on end to come clean in his eyes.
“After that night, he blackmailed me. He said I was to be his or he’d hurt you. Also, it was him who arranged my mother’s treatment in Wales. He warned me he’d stop paying the bills and have my mother return home if I were to turn him down. Of course, among all his threats, the most frightening one was when he told me he’d have you killed if I didn’t break up with you.”
Christian gritted his teeth as he listened, lost for words. Although slouched over and staring at his lap, he seemed rigid. He pulled Laura’s hands closer to him, tightening his grip, his knuckles turning white, as if holding on to her for dear life. The laboured sigh he let out then conveyed his agony better than any words ever could.
“Please my love, calm down! It’s all over now, it’s all in the past. But I needed to explain why I let you go.”
“How could he hurt you like this?” He looked up again, a tempest raging in his eyes. His tears came streaming down his cheeks hot, and he wiped them with the back of his hand, but they kept coming. He had no shame for them. He was too heartbroken to care and, besides, he had nothing to hide from Laura. “How am I supposed to know what he’s done and let him go unpunished? It’s impossible to me!”
“My darling, trust me! You don’t want to make your presence known to him. He’s a madman! I’ve seen him get angry, I’ve heard his reasoning. He’s not to be tampered with. He’s best left alone or ignored. That is how we’ve been living for years now. That’s the only way I can cope.”
“What kind of a life is this? He ignores you, too? Is that why he took you from me, so that he can give you a life of loveless misery and neglect? How dare he?”
“Please, my love, listen! Let him be! But if you care for me or our son, even a little, take us with you and let’s just go! Let’s just disappear, as far away from here as possible, before he finds out!”
“Oh, my darling Laura! That’s music to my ears! Of course, of course . . . That’s what I want too! You’ll see my love, you’ll see, we’ll be so happy in Devon! You, me, and our child,” he soothed, holding her tenderly in his arms. That, he could do with all his heart. That was what he’d been dreaming of seemingly forever.
ASLEEP YOU LIE
Asleep you lie, here in my arms
And I, at last in place.
My aching hands are stroking you
Sore eyes caress your face.
The waves, the breeze, the seagull wings
A lullaby, a fateful song
Asleep you lie, and as for me
I fear my eyes are wrong.
How can it be? You’re here with me!
My hands, like velvet, touch you
A thousand times I’ve dreamed of this
Eight years have passed without you.
And yet, at last you’re in my arms!
My heart an airborne dove
That soars in summer skies of blue
Through fleeting clouds above.
My joy, a Christmas morning bell
That echoes far and wide;
My face ablaze with sheer bliss
A feeling I can’t hide
And here I am, still wondering
Just what the future holds
Asleep you lie and as you dream
My own dream unfolds.
Chapter 28
Laura opened her eyes and smiled at the flimsy curtains that danced in the breeze. In her arms, Christian was fast asleep. The room in The Seabird, a hotel in downtown Brighton, was tiny, but it had housed her immense, newfound happiness just fine. Since meeting Christian on the Pier a month earlier, he had returned to Brighton, this time, to take her and their child away with him.
Earlier that morning, the two of them met at the Pier again and then wound up in his hotel room, where she found love in his arms for the first time in eight years. With a devastating war and the coldness of a loveless marriage in between, it felt to Laura like a lifetime ago.
There was no apprehension from either side. For her, having lived without any tenderness for so long, to make love to someone who loved her back, felt like walking through the blessed gates of Heaven.
And now, as Christian slept in her arms, as she took in his dark, long lashes and the precious outline of his lips, she felt blissful; so much that she half-feared it was all a dream, bound to go up in smoke at any moment, with a mere flutter of her eyelids.
Her fingertips ran the length of his arm from shoulder to elbow, then moved on to caress his chin and the side of his neck. Giggling with happiness to hear him moan softly and purse his lips in response, she held him tighter and bent over to whisper in his ear, “Christian, my love . . .”
The tips of her hair caressed his cheek and, slowly, he opened his eyes.
“You naughty thing! First you exhaust me and then you won't let me sleep . . .” Christian smirked, sitting up with a yawn, then propped himself up next to Laura against the headboard with a pillow. He threw her a glance alight with mirth. “You’re relentless! We’ve been at it twice already. Is this a wake up call for a third round?”
Laura caressed his hair, then pinched his cheek. “I wish! It’s four o’ clock. I have to go, my darling.” She pulled a face of regret.
“Already? I was hoping to have a meal downstairs with you first. I’m starving!”
“Sorry, love, but Jen is still minding Freddie back home since he came back from school at lunchtime. I can't expect her to mind him all day; she has tons of work to do.”
Christian put up his hands and pulled a face of mock dismay. “All right, all right! I’ll get you in a taxi, then I’ll go grab a bite on my own.” The corners of his
lips curled downwards in a childish expression of mock frustration.
Laura flashed him a happy grin. “Oh, cheer up! Not long now, my darling. In just two days, the three of us will run away together. A proper family at last!”
Christian put an arm around her shoulders and kissed her fully on the lips. The look of adoration he threw her made the need for words redundant.
Laura swallowed a lump in her throat and beamed at him. “Come on then, sleepy head. Let’s get dressed and go; I haven’t got all day, you know.”
***
Harold had just left the tailor’s where he picked up one of Charles’s suits. He was walking along the busy street, hurrying to do his last errand at the tobacconist’s before heading home on the bus. Passing by The Seabird hotel, he stopped dead in his tracks. Crikey! Is that Laura?
Harold dove behind one of the decorative pillars at the hotel entrance and watched astounded as Laura and Christian strode to the roadside holding hands, their faces exuberant. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Although Christian now wore a moustache and had put on a smidgen of weight, it had been easy to recognise him. Besides, Laura didn’t have any men friends. Who could it possibly be other than him? Harold even noticed the awkward limp in the man’s walk and wondered what that was all about.
Christian hailed a taxi and opened the door for Laura to get in. He put his arm around her waist and kissed her on the lips before saying goodbye. Harold gave an inaudible gasp, then brought a gloved fist before his lips as he watched from his hiding place. As great as the shock had been, he couldn’t have helped but notice how happy Laura looked as she smiled at Christian, before getting in the back of the vehicle.
***
Harold stormed through the front door of The Black Cat and paced determinedly the distance to Charles’s office, knocking discreetly at the door. As he waited, he straightened his tie and smoothed his jacket with experienced, yet jerky movements. His brow glistened with tiny beads of sweat. In his hands, he still held the suit that he picked up earlier on; the errand at the tobacconist’s had to wait for another day. He dreaded telling Charles what he saw in town, but it had to be done. He had always liked Laura, but his loyalty to Colonel Fenshaw and his family came first.
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