A verse from Joshua, which had become such an anchor for him in these past few years, replayed in his mind. “For ye have not passed this way heretofore.” No, they hadn’t passed this way before, but God not only knew the way, He was the way. God was both walking with them and He waited at the destination, wherever it was.
“Do you know what I learned in school today?” Frani said, intruding on his thoughts.
He expected her to tell them all something about horses, since that was her usual topic of conversation. She didn’t.
“When the United States’ First Army crossed over the Rhine River last month, it was the first invading army to do that since the days of Napoleon. Isn’t that something? And maybe Ben was there to see it.”
“If he saw it,” Andy intruded, “it woulda been from the air.”
“You don’t know that.” Frani poked her brother in the shoulder.
“Children,” Helen cautioned softly.
His youngest daughter’s comment couldn’t help but turn Andrew’s thoughts in the direction of his sons. They had received letters from Ben on a more regular basis this year. The same couldn’t be said of Oscar. It seemed forever since the last one had come.
Louisa touched the back of his hand. “Do you know what Ben wrote to me?”
He shook his head.
“He said he can’t picture me getting ready to be a mother ’cause I’ll always be a snot-nosed kid to him. Can you believe that? I’m going to make him pay for it when he gets home.”
Everyone laughed. Everyone but Andrew. His thoughts had drifted to the closing paragraph of Ben’s most recent letter.
Not sure I ever said this in a letter, but I’ll be honest. I haven’t always believed I would make it home outside of a pine box. Not given the percentage of bombers that fail to come back from missions. But I’m not feeling that way these days. I think the end is in sight, and I think I’ll be coming home again. But I won’t be the same kid who left Idaho. I don’t know that I’ll ever be the same.
“We have not passed this way heretofore,” he said beneath his breath. “But God has.”
“What did you say, Dad?”
He looked at Louisa and smiled. “Nothing, dear. I was just talking to myself.”
Chapter 30
Ben was afraid Ashley might keep all of her contact numbers on her phone. That’s what he did. Relief rushed through him when he saw the address book on her desk. It was filled with names and numbers and notes about how she knew each person. People in the equine rescue network had all been entered in a particular color, making it easier for Ben to work his way through them. It took calls to eight different numbers, but finally he found someone who knew where Ashley had gone that morning. Once he knew that, it wasn’t long before he was on his way with a Thermos of hot chocolate, some snack bars, and several blankets on the seat beside him.
He’d made one more call before he left the farm. He’d called his grandfather and asked him to pray. It was the older man’s prayers—and the prayers of whoever Grandpa Grant had told next—that kept Ben’s fear at bay. He was sure of it.
He managed to keep his speed from going too much over the limit. He didn’t want to get stopped. Not because of a ticket but because it would slow him down even more. Strong gusts of wind buffeted the truck as dark clouds began to fill the skies, making midday feel like dusk.
He added his own prayers to those of his grandfather. He prayed for Ashley to be kept safe, wherever she was. He prayed that he would see her around the next bend in the road. He prayed that she would know how important she was in his life.
More important than even he’d known up until that moment.
His gaze dropped to the speedometer. If he’d estimated right, he should be within thirty miles of Ashley’s original destination. He looked up again, scanning the rolling desert that surrounded him. Sagebrush and lava rock. Mountains to the south. River gorge to the north. And not much else. Not another vehicle in sight. No buildings. Nothing.
His truck went over a swell in the road. At the top of the rise, a gust hit him so hard the right tires left the asphalt and threw up dirt and gravel. Even as he corrected, his heart seemed to lurch with equal force. If the wind hit a horse trailer like that . . .
He pressed his foot down hard on the accelerator.
* * *
Ashley came to again, this time to the feel of Jack’s tongue on her cheek. He whimpered as he settled back against the other door.
“I’m okay, boy.”
A lie. Her head throbbed. Her side hurt from where the seat belt pressed into her. Her arm pounded. She was cold, and her mouth was dry. Beyond the windshield, it had grown darker. Had night fallen or was it only the coming storm? She couldn’t be sure. A thump sounded. She managed to lift and turn her head enough that she saw Speed, standing on the truck’s bumper, staring in at her through the windshield.
“I’m okay,” she repeated, so softly she wasn’t sure she made any sound at all.
Was it possible she was going to die like this? The accident didn’t seem to have been all that serious, and yet there she was, suspended in the air, trapped by a seat belt, the cold working its way into her bones. Perhaps she would die like this. It made her sad to think of those things that had gone undone or unsaid or both. She would like to tell her mom how much she appreciated her. She would like to tell Dylan one more time how much she loved him. Yes, she was sad. But she wasn’t afraid. She wished she could tell everyone she knew that she wasn’t afraid to die, and the reason why. It would surprise those who knew her best. It even surprised her.
She tried one more time to find the buckle. If she could press the latch and free herself, she could crawl out of the truck. But the buckle didn’t seem to be there. It had disappeared somewhere into the seat or behind her body.
“Stay awake,” she told herself. “Keep alert.”
She tried to remember one of the Bible verses she’d read over the past week. She’d highlighted so many. Time and again, something had spoken to her heart. And yet now, when she was certain they might bring her comfort, her mind was blank.
“Grandpa Grant would be able to quote them to me. So would Ben.”
Ben. He’d come to mean so very much to her. Despite her fears and determination to resist him, he’d won her heart. He’d won it with his generous and compassionate nature. He’d won it with his smile. He’d won it with the way he loved people, loved those less fortunate. He’d won it with the way he’d changed his life and now wanted to help others change theirs with the use of horses. He’d won it with the way he loved God.
“Ben,” she said, her eyes closing, despite how hard she tried to keep them open.
“I’m here, Ashley. I’m here.”
She didn’t open her eyes, certain it was her mind playing tricks on her.
“Ashley, stay with me.”
An arm came around her neck, supporting her head. Another around her waist. The relief was instant, and she relaxed into the embrace.
“Hold on, honey. We’re going to get you out of here.”
She opened her eyes. He was there. He was real. She hadn’t imagined him after all. “Ben.”
“Where are you hurt?” he asked, his lips close to her ear.
“Just my left arm, I think. I can’t move it. And my head. It was bleeding.”
“Help is coming. I don’t want to move you until the EMTs are here. They’ll know the best way to free you without causing you more pain or risking further injury.”
“Are the horses okay?”
“They look fine. Restless but okay. The trailer stayed upright.”
“Speed and Jack?” She closed her eyes again.
“They’re fine too. A few bruises and scratches. That’s all.”
She felt herself slipping into unconsciousness again. “I’m glad you found me.”
“Me too.” His mouth was near her ear. “I love you, Ashley. You’re found for good. I’m never letting you go.”
V-E Day 194
5
Early on that morning in May, Andrew was turning out the cows to pasture when he saw his oldest daughter and her husband pull their old Model T Ford into the driveway. He wondered what had brought them to the farm at this early hour, but he returned his attention to the cows, guiding them around the corner of the barn. A few minutes later, Helen’s loud cry sent alarm shooting through him. He took off running toward the house, the cows forgotten.
His wife saw him coming and hurried toward him, her cheeks streaked with tears.
O God, not one of the boys.
“Andrew, it’s over.” Her words hardly made sense to him. “The war in Germany is over. Ben will be coming home.”
He couldn’t take in her words. It was almost as if they were in another language.
“It’s over in Europe, Dad. Germany has surrendered. Unconditionally.”
“Over?” he echoed, still hardly able to comprehend.
“It’s in the news,” Samuel said. “President Truman’s gonna do a broadcast at seven o’clock. We wanted to come here and listen to it with you.”
“We’d better go in. It’s almost time.”
He allowed himself to be drawn into the house. Once there, he turned on the radio, listening to the static as he adjusted the knob. Frani and Andy soon joined them, breakfast and school forgotten. They hadn’t long to wait before the president of the United States was introduced. Silence gripped the room.
“This is a solemn but glorious hour,” Truman began. “I wish that Franklin D. Roosevelt had lived to see this day. General Eisenhower informs me that the forces of Germany have surrendered to the United Nations. The flags of freedom fly all over Europe. For this victory, we join in offering our thanks to the Providence which has guided and sustained us through the dark days of adversity and into light.”
Immediately after the brief address, no one moved. Even the children seemed to understand the momentous nature of this day, this hour. The war in Europe was over at last.
As had been so often the case of late, Andrew’s mind went to the book of Joshua. This time he remembered Joshua’s address to the eastern tribes before he sent them to their homeland and their families, cautioning them to remember to serve the Lord God and to keep Him first in their hearts. May we all do the same, Father. And may we provide comfort to everyone who lost a loved one during this war.
“Do you suppose the Finkels know?” Samuel asked, breaking the silence. Without waiting for an answer, he got to his feet. “I’m going to tell them. Then we all need to go into town to celebrate.”
Helen looked at him with wide eyes. “Celebrate? It’s barely seven in the morning.”
“Who cares?” Samuel hurried out the door.
Andrew shoved away the thoughts of loss and heartache. “Samuel’s right. We need to celebrate today.” He stood, his gaze sweeping over the family gathered with him. “Get ready, everybody. We’re going to town.”
Chapter 31
“Ashley Showalter, you get back into that bed.”
She didn’t look up at her mom until she’d finished pulling on her right boot—not easy to do one-handed. “I can’t stand to stay down another minute. Two days of rest is enough. There’s nothing seriously wrong with me.”
“Your arm has a bad sprain, and you hit your head and needed stitches. I wouldn’t call that nothing serious.”
“Mom.” She reached for her other boot and began tugging it on. “I’m fine. I appreciate all you’ve done for me, but I’m going to go crazy if I don’t go to work.”
“Ben told me you don’t have to go in until you’re completely healed.”
“They’re having another training session for volunteers tomorrow. I want to make sure everything is ready with the horses. Plus I need to see to my new rescues.”
“You know Ben’s taken care of everything.”
Ashley stood. “Yes, I know. But I need to see to the horses myself.” She walked to where her mom stood in the doorway, stopping long enough to kiss her cheek. “I love you, and I love that you’ve spoiled me rotten since I left the ER. But it’s time for you to go home and sleep in your own bed. I’m perfectly able to get along now.”
Her mom opened her mouth as if to argue further. Then, after releasing a sigh, she closed it again. Her eyes said she knew when she’d lost the battle.
Ashley smiled as she leaned in to kiss her mom’s cheek a second time. “Thank you. For everything. Not just your help since the accident. For everything.”
“Be sure you tell Ben this wasn’t my idea.”
“I will. I promise.”
An hour later, breakfast eaten and her chores finished, Ashley got into the rental car that had been delivered the day before. It was harder than expected to fasten her seat belt with only one hand, but she managed it—unlike on the day of the accident. She also felt a little too close to the ground in the midsize vehicle. It would be good to get her truck back, despite having to come up with the high deductible. The insurance company hadn’t considered the truck totaled. She wasn’t sure if that was good or bad and decided to worry about it later.
“Hold on, guys,” she told the dogs in the back seat before pulling out of the driveway.
She arrived at the farm as Ben was walking toward the house. When he saw her, he changed directions. His smile caused her pulse to quicken, her heart to beat erratically. She’d seen him only once since the day of the accident. He’d come to her home, bringing a large bouquet of flowers for her and a box of chocolates for her mom. But saying anything personal had been difficult with her mom hovering in the background. So they’d talked about the damage to the truck and the miracle of the trailer not flipping onto its side and who had towed the horses to the farm and how the horses were getting along now.
There were things about the accident, both before and after it happened, that she still couldn’t make sense of. But one thing she did remember. She remembered when he’d said, “I love you, Ashley.” She remembered those words and the feel of his arms as he’d cradled her, but she couldn’t hardly believe either of them.
Ben opened the car door. “I wasn’t expecting you today.”
“I don’t do well stuck in bed.”
“Bad patient, huh?”
“Very bad. Just ask my mom.”
He opened the back door to let Jack and Speed out. Then he offered his hand to help Ashley from behind the wheel. She wasn’t sure she needed the help, but she did want to hold his hand. She took it and allowed him to draw her up and out. Her pulse quickened even more as the seconds passed and he didn’t let go.
“Ashley.”
“Hmm?”
“Did I happen to tell you how scared I was when you didn’t show up when you were supposed to?”
“I don’t think so.”
A gust of wind hit her back and pushed her closer to him. She found herself staring at his throat.
“Well, I’m telling you now.”
She tilted her head back.
“There’s a whole lot more I want to tell you about how I feel.” There was no sign of a smile on his lips now.
Her heart thrummed in response. “And there’s a whole lot more I’d like to hear.”
At last the corners of his mouth curved into a slow smile, and the look warmed her better than a blazing fire.
* * *
Ben had been patient long enough. Weeks of patience. He gently drew Ashley tight against him and claimed her lips with his own. If a picture was worth a thousand words, he hoped his kiss was worth a million. Yet there were a few words that still needed to be spoken aloud, now when he was certain she could hear him, and when the kiss ended, he said them. “I love you, Ms. Showalter.”
“I love you, too, Mr. Henning.” She smiled and her eyes glittered with unshed tears.
“Let’s get you inside out of the cold.”
“Is it cold?”
“Yes.” Although, truth be told, he didn’t feel it either. He swept her up into his arms and started carrying her toward the h
ouse.
“Now what?” she asked as he stepped onto the porch.
“Now we start planning a life together.”
“You’re a man who loves to make plans, aren’t you?”
He chuckled as he opened the door. “Some more than others, Ashley. Some more than others.”
Wednesday, August 15, 1945
The Western Union telegram that came in June told Andrew and Helen that Oscar was missing in action. It hadn’t been unexpected. At least not by Andrew. The battle for Okinawa had lasted for two and a half months that spring. Close to forty thousand Americans had been wounded in the fighting, and almost thirteen thousand Americans had lost their lives, many during relentless kamikaze attacks by the Japanese. Finally, after weeks of wondering, they received a second telegram. Oscar Tandy Henning, age eighteen, was never coming home.
For Andrew, the arrival of V-J Day was bittersweet. While others rejoiced in the streets, much the same as they’d done on V-E Day, he mourned the personal cost as he climbed the ladder to the loft in the barn and dropped to his knees.
“Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
He choked back a sob as another verse from Job came to his mind.
“Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, and life unto the bitter in soul; Which long for death, but it cometh not.”
He didn’t long for actual death. He had a wife, four more children, a son-in-law, and a grandchild. There were plenty of reasons for joy. Plenty of reasons to live. And yet there was a pain in his heart unlike any he’d felt before, knowing that Oscar would never grow older. He would always be a boy in Andrew’s memory. He remembered well that night he’d added Oscar’s name in his Bible, the moment he’d counted the towheaded boy as one of the arrows in the Henning family quiver. Imagining life without him seemed impossible.
Andrew stayed on his knees, head bowed, eyes closed, heart heavy for a long, long while. But eventually he recalled the familiar words of Joshua once again.
Cross My Heart Page 23