by Marie Hall
Chapter 7
Xavier watched Io pause again. It was the fourth or fifth time she stopped after only a short activity. And when she lifted the heavy book and it slipped from her hand, she was slow to bend and retrieve it and even slower to stand up again.
She was tired, exhausted for the day's activities. Together they'd put the room right, but it'd been more than sorting papers and books. Io was the one who directed the moving out of the pieces of furniture, looking for a safe place to store them until the house was ready to be set back as she wanted. She'd also managed to drag in a small case on her own so she could stack the ledgers Xavier wasn't ready to return to his scribe. She'd moved chairs and rugs and swept the floors, polished tables and restocked his cupboard with fresh wines and dishes. She'd done it all on very little sleep.
Xavier knew even after they'd made love, after he'd given her all the reassurance he could as to his willingness to protect her, Io was still shaken by Landon's words. She'd drift to sleep only to start awake again, and though he didn't press her about it, he knew she was thinking herself in circles over the matter. And her circles always seemed to have tragic turns.
"Io," he started when she again stopped her movements. "You should stop and rest."
It wasn't the first time he'd suggested as much. The last he told her to sit in his chair while she sorted through the rolled maps. She glared at him, proclaimed her fitness and continued to work. He suggested she take a seat and work determining which letters dealt with matters he'd attend and which only reported common status. Again, like she did now, she glared at him. He might have bit his tongue this time too, but her very next step sent her tripping forward.
She went down on her knees, the books she carried spilled out of her arms and lay scattered on the floor. "Damn this," she yelled even as she grabbed for the table so she might get back to her feet.
"Enough, Io." Xavier moved to her side and pulled her to her feet, an act she didn't appreciate in the least. She jerked free and sent him another nasty look. "You need to rest. We have been at this all day and enough is done that—"
"It is not done," she fairly snarled. "I can finish this."
"Io, you are so worn you cannot pick up your feet." His hand settled on her cheek and he ground his teeth as he moved to her forehead. She tried to pull away before he could gauge her fever, but he was ready and wrapping his arm around her, pinned Io against him. "Io, you are feverish again."
"I am not; this room is too damn hot." She twisted away and put the table between them.
"The room is not hot, you are. Please go rest."
"No," she said, stomping her foot.
Xavier clenched his fists at his sides and worked to hold on to his patience. "I am not asking you now, my lady. I am telling you. You did not rest last night. I took advantage of you yesterday and—"
"No one takes advantage of me. I did as I wanted yesterday. That was my choice." She stopped speaking, and he watched her expression change several times before her fury registered. "Fine," she shouted and spun on her heel. "If you are done with me, well enough. Be alone. What should I care? Be alone, go to hell, it is all the same to me." She stomped towards the door and yanked it open. "I will not force my company on you again." The door slammed shut hard but didn't catch, bouncing open for Xavier to watch her push into her room and slam that door.
Several faces peered in at him. Io's guards were as perplexed it looked as he by Io's outburst. He tried to reason what part of what he said set her off, but before he could think back on the words a loud crash echoed in the hall. Then a second had him at Io's door. He pushed in as Io released the bucket she held. It was hurtled with great force.
Xavier couldn't duck in time and the wood edge put a split in his forehead above his left eye. The pain created spots so it was only instinct which took him out of range of the cup she threw next. He wiped at the blood then pressed the heel of his hand over the cut. Already it swelled.
"Go away. You do not want my company. One day was all you could manage. Go away," Io said as she turned to look for something else she might send his way.
"Io. Enough," Xavier shouted with every bit of command in his tone he could produce. "You will stop and explain yourself."
"Go to hell," she yelled, throwing the next item her hand found at him.
The pillow hit him in the chest and fell silently to the floor. He stepped over it towards Io and felt his annoyance grow when she moved to the bed and picked up the book he'd been reading to her.
She didn't get the chance to hurl it at him as he caught her wrist, and with one shake, she lost her grip. She stood there, her chest heaving with exertion. Beads of sweat formed on her brow, and her eyes shone with a heat that was as much the fever as the activity.
"Enough," he warned again. She didn't heed him and the fight was on to break free his hold. When her toe connected with his shin, Xavier was done. "Enough, Io," he said, taking a seat on the bed and jerking Io down over his lap. "You will settle now or you will be most sorry you did not.
"Let me up," she screamed and twisted to strike at him with her fists.
The struggle continued until Xavier managed to capture both her hands and pin them to her back. He didn't want this. He didn't want to have to again use a thrashing to gain control of his wife. But she wasn't settling, and he could feel the heat coming off her and hear the labor of her breathing grow harsher.
"Io, settle. Do not make me punish you."
"Let me go if you do not want me. Let me go," she said, kicking her legs, trying to twist from his lap.
Xavier reached for the hem of her skirts and, taking hold, jerked them up. He only managed to expose the lower part of her fine arse but it was enough. Raising his hand, he brought it down with deliberate force right to the center. Watching as the skin flattened, rebounded and turned red. She screeched but continued to kick and curse him. "Settle, Io." He waited giving her time to choose to end this with no more suffering. But it wasn't in his wife to quit so soon. He raised his hand again and again landed it with painful results over the very same spot. "Settle," he warned again.
Io's fight wavered a moment then started back. Getting her left hand free of his grip she reached down and punched at his leg and thigh. The third blow sent her forward on his lap and she howled. He followed it quickly with the fourth and Io wailed.
"No," she cried out as he landed one more spank to the very same place the last four landed. "Stop."
"Settle," he said and gave her one more even as she sagged over his knees. The last one brought on the sobs and the sobs quickly turned into coughing. "Io for the love of peace," he said pulling her up, setting her on her feet then standing next to her until the coughing stopped. The sobs didn't last long, replaced with sniffs and gasps. Pointing down and crowding her, he made sure she didn't question his command was to be obeyed. "Bed, Io. You will rest."
She kept her eyes on him as she crawled in and lay down. He took the opportunity to use his shirt sleeve to wipe at the blood dripping down his face. As soon as she was flat, he reached for the covers. She burst into tears as he pulled them up. Huge racking sobs she couldn't stifle even with both her hands.
"Io, what is this?" Xavier sat down beside her and pulled her hands away from her mouth. She bit her lower lip trying to stop sound from coming out. "Io, there is no need for so much upset at having a rest." His hand touched her cheek and he used his thumb to wipe at the tears. A firmer touch left no doubt she was again feverish.
"You are done with me," Io gasped out, rolling to her side and burying her face. "Only one day, and you want me gone."
"Done with you?" Xavier closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I want you to rest. You need to rest. We both need to stop and rest."
"I am not weak and useless. I can do these things," Io said, her voice slightly muffled by the pillow.
"Of course you can. I did not call you weak or useless."
"You said I am worn. I am not. I can do these things that m
ust be done. I am not weak. I can manage this house for you."
"Io, of course you can." He shouldn't be surprised she might have her doubts. They'd not spent time speaking about her duties. "You are not weak, Io. I do not think you are weak. But you have been weakened. All you have been through has left you weakened, but I know you are not weak. You are capable." He slid to the floor on his knees that he might see her face.
"You do not want me beside you," she sobbed but turned to look at him.
"Io," Xavier dropped his head a moment to work out what he had to say to restore her confidence.
"I am awful."
"What?" His head jerked up, and he caught her staring at the cut on his forehead.
"Beat me and be done with me."
"Io," he said with a soft chuckle. "I am not going to beat you. You are not awful. I am going to excuse this completely because you are simply not you when you are unwell. I should have recognized this sooner. I will be more alert next time." He smiled wryly at her. "And I will be ready to duck next time." He carefully touched the injury now.
"I am awful," she whined, turning her face into the pillow and sobbing.
"Io, you are only exhausted and a little feverish. A short rest and you will be perfect." He dug her chin out and made her look at him. "A little rest to set you right then we will finish together."
She sniffed then rubbed her face against the bed before looking back at him. "You will not finish it without me?" She sniffed again and despite the effects of the fever, she again looked confident.
"Of course I will wait on you. I will find something restful to do, so when you are recovered, I can keep up." Again he smiled at her and found his reward when she gave him a wobbly smile in return.
"We will work together?" she asked.
"We will always work together."
"Yes, that is what I want," she said, closing her eyes.
"It is what I want too, Io." He brushed back her hair and tucked the covers around her.
Standing, he leaned down and kissed her head before leaving her to rest. One look back at her steady breathing, and he pulled open the door and stepped into the hall. Twelve sets of eyes were on him instantly.
"She only became overtired," he said, hoping it was true and she wasn't going to take ill again. These men were there the last time Io's temper became unreasonable and for three days following, she couldn't be woken up. He shouldn't have made love to her yesterday, he should have insured she got some sleep before he let her start working on straightening his room. He should have brought her work to a quick end at the first sign she tired. His wife wasn't one to admit to illness or injury. She did everything she could to hide both from everyone. Sometime ago he threatened to take the cane to her if she continued to keep such things from him, but he'd never followed through. Perhaps it was time to remind her he wouldn't tolerate such deception, to remind her she'd face severe consequences if she was anything but honest.
He'd no real expectation such a threat, or promise, would work, but it might help loosen her tongue before she was falling over. He looked back at the closed door again before heading back into his room. He'd sit her down and speak with her on the subject when she was rested. And this time he wouldn't be distracted from really speaking with her.
"My lord?"
Xavier looked up to see Sarah at the door. Her eyes went wide, and her gasp was audible even from such a distance.
"What happened to you?" she asked crossing to the chest where a pitcher of water and a basin sat. She poured out a good amount then carried it to where he stood before the fire. "Sit down. You have blood everywhere. You are going to upset Io when she sees this." Sarah admonished, pulling a rag from her apron and dipping it in the water before pressing it to the gash.
"Io did this," Xavier said then laughed when Sarah gasped and pulled away to stare at him. "She threw a bucket."
"What did you do to need a bucket thrown at you?" She went back to wiping at his head.
Xavier frowned at the way she turned it to be his fault, but he couldn't expect different. "I let her become over tired," he said, wincing as the cloth pressed into the center of the wound. "She is resting now, but she was feverish."
"Lucas said she was quite ill when you found her, and she fell ill a second time as you traveled."
"Did he mention what caused Io's illness?" Xavier hadn't spoken to Io about the miscarriage. He didn't know if she even knew she was with child. None of his men spoke of it, but not all of them knew. Only a handful where in the chapel with him when Lady Roslyn of Bay Tower came to inform him she believed Io would recover but the babe she carried was lost without hope.
"No, I did not know you knew a cause." Sarah lifted the basin and carried it back to the chest.
"Sarah," he called and waited for her to come back to where he sat. Indicating she should sit in the chair across from him. "I… Io and I… we have not yet spoken of this and I am hesitant to speak as you are quick to speak with Io." He wasn't sure if it was best to say anything, especially to Sarah who didn't keep secrets from his wife. But telling Sarah might help the maid better care for Io and he wanted the best care she might have.
"Please tell me. I cannot serve her not knowing everything that might affect her."
"I know," he agreed. "Sarah I am going to speak to Io, speak with her at length on this matter. I ask you respect it as my right to be the one to do so at the time I feel it will be best received." He watched the woman weigh his words. Knew for her it was a betrayal of sorts to be anything but forthcoming with Io. He hoped Sarah would agree because he didn't think knowing only what she did she could take every measure to bring Io to full health again. A woman's health could be most delicate, and while he knew his wife to be strong, he also knew of women who'd died not long after a miscarriage or birth. It was a precarious situation that needed to be seen to with skill and knowledge. Sarah hesitated, but with a nod of her head she agreed to his terms.
"When we found Io, it was already too late. It might have been too late even as she left here." He swallowed hard. He hadn't actually said this out loud, and the prospect he was about to, only made the pain harder. "Io was with child when she ran." The words rushed out of him on a single breath he struggled to recover once gone. "She carried my child in her belly but it turned bad on her. I do not know when, but it was the loss that caused her to fall ill before we found her. The women at Bay Tower did their best. But they could not save the babe." His voice cracked and he cleared his throat several times before going on. "Io never woke. She has not spoken of it to me. I do not know if she knew she was breeding, I do not—"
His words were cut off when Sarah flung herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck with a sob. "I am so sorry, my lord, Xavier. I am so very sorry." She squeezed him even harder.
He couldn't feel that loss yet. Knowing for sure it'd crush him. Make him unable to successfully tend the dangers in the house. Reaching up, he pulled Sarah's arms from around him and pushed her back. "I have my wife. I have my wife. I need nothing else," He said the same words a thousand times to himself those first days. Said them until he almost believed them. He said them again to Sarah, even as pain rolled through him. It was grief, he knew. As deep and bitter as when he'd received word his father was dead. Perhaps more bitter that he felt such for a being he'd never have the chance to know. But he did have Io, and he needed no one else but Io to complete his life. At least he said so every day. Said so and believed it. So why then did this loss create such a hurt?
"Xavier, it is a great loss. You cannot resist the grief you must feel for it," Sarah said coming down on her knees before him. "You will have to give over to it sooner or later."
"Let it be later," Xavier said, scrubbing at his face with both hands. "Let it be after I have ended the threat to my wife's life. Let it be after she is again the woman she was before Charlotte came."
"She will never be that woman again. You know all of this has changed her."
"I would have her
given the opportunity to be that woman, or at least as close to her as she can get."
"Very well, we will work toward restoring that woman," Sarah said but the concession didn't hold much hope it could be accomplished. "I will not speak to Io about this unless she says something first, but I must send for Nora to look at her and confirm these continued fevers and weakness are not lingering from the pregnancy."
"Do as you think is best for her welfare," Xavier said, leaning back in the chair and willing away the throbbing in his head. "Please though have caution when you speak to others, say only what you must. I will speak with Io, but I would have her know she is safe and I will never set her out for any reason. I do not want her believing this is in any way her failure."
"Yes, that will be best," Sarah said, rising to her feet and heading to the door. "We will make this right for you both, Xavier. We will make this right and you will go on being the best man Io could ever have."
Sarah slipped out the door before what she said registered with him. It was a compliment with great value given who gave it, and Xavier wouldn't let either woman down. He'd do exactly as Sarah said. He'd make this right.
Chapter 8
Io pushed the handle down and the door cracked open. She hesitated, but with all the men staring at her, waiting for her to go inside she'd no choice but to enter. She'd no idea how long she slept. When she woke, she was drenched in sweat but no longer felt uncertain in her thoughts. Xavier was correct when he'd forced her to rest, but she hated she could so easily become exhausted.
The vulnerability unnerved her. For as long as it had been, Io couldn't stop the fear of being sent back to some convent, placed in the cell not even large enough to stand and left to die. Always that memory came first to her before the sound of Xavier's words telling her he'd never send her to a place like that. His actions too, assured her of his promise. He could've abandoned her when she was ill. He could've pretended to have never found her, left her to die. He could have dropped her in the snow and rode away. He could bring someone in to bleed her and allow them to cut to deep so she bled to death. He didn't. The very worse he did was force her into a soft bed, cover her with too many furs and leave her to sleep herself back to a right mind.