The back of the dress was open, exposing her olive skin. A black, lacy bra was clasped right under her shoulder blades. A feeling deep in James’s gut stirred as his gaze slipped down her back to the small bit of lace where the zipper started.
Her skin was smooth and perfect.
“Do you mind?” she asked, tipping her face toward him and glancing over her shoulder. Her dark-red lips mesmerized him as he stared at the way they formed her words.
She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He studied her for a moment before he nodded and stepped closer to her. Reaching down, he grasped the zipper and the dress. It felt like he was moving in slow motion as he slid the zipper up. Just as he got to the nape of her neck, his fingers brushed her skin, causing zaps of electricity to shoot through him.
What was he doing? He needed to get out of there.
Taking a step closer to the door, he glanced down at the lock, willing it to open. Layla didn’t seem to pick up on his panicked response. Instead, she was standing in front of the mirror with her hands pressed to her stomach. Her gaze roamed over the fabric as she turned from side to side.
“What do you think?” she asked, turning fully to look at him.
James winced as he stiffened. She wanted him to stay here longer, and it was killing him inside. He couldn’t be attracted to his friend’s ex. That broke basically every loyalty rule ever written.
“James?” she asked, reaching out and resting her hand on his forearm.
He flinched and closed his eyes for a moment. The walls of the dressing room felt as if they were closing in on him.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
James clenched his jaw as he shook his head. He wasn’t okay for so many reasons.
“Is it me?”
James whipped his gaze over to her and shook his head. There was no way he wanted her blaming herself for his inadequacies. “I get claustrophobic,” he said, his voice coming out weak. It frustrated him how out of control he felt. It was like, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t fix what was broken inside of him.
He was never going to be able to move on from what had happened. He just needed accept that. He didn’t deserve happiness.
“I need to go,” he said as he grabbed the lock and slid it open. Once he was out of the dressing room, he shut the door behind him and took a deep breath.
It felt good to get some space, but he needed more. He needed to distance himself from Layla until he no longer felt a weight crushing his lungs.
“I’ll wait for you outside,” he said as he ducked his head and leaned closer to the door.
“Okay.” Her voice was soft and sent pulses of pleasure through his body.
He was in trouble.
Not waiting for her to respond, he weaved his way through the clothing racks until he was standing outside the store. A bench near the entrance was vacant, so he collapsed down on it.
Taking a deep breath, he rested his elbows on his knees and cradled his head in hands. He needed to get a grip if he was going to survive this. Whatever this was.
Closing his eyes, his mind wandered.
Of course, the second he took a moment to calm his mind, his thoughts turned directly to that day. The one that changed his life forever. The day Clarisa died.
Emotions boiled up inside of him as he swallowed hard. Why couldn’t he move past this? Why did it break his heart so many times it felt as if there were nothing left in his soul to shatter?
Maybe it was because she wasn’t around to forgive him. Her death had left him in this perpetual state of unrest. Death was cruelest to the ones left behind. There was no closure. No way to end the pain that gripped his body.
Frustrated that he was allowing himself to spiral, James sat back and pulled out his phone. He needed a distraction. Something to make his mind off of everything.
Finding Jackson’s number, he pressed it. Maybe his kid brother would help relax him. Or at least give him something else to think about.
After a few rings, Jackson’s voicemail recording filled the speaker. James sighed as he waited to leave a message.
“Hey, man. Just wondering if you were going to make it to Jordan’s birthday party. I know things are probably real crazy with you.” James let out his breath, cursing himself for even calling. What was he doing? Jackson couldn’t do anything for him. There was no way talking to his kid brother was going to fix anything.
“Anyway, I’ll talk to you later. You know what? Forget I even called.” Pulling the phone from his face, he pressed the end call button and shoved it back into his pocket.
He was losing his mind. He’d been just fine with his life before Layla came into it. And he was pretty sure that as soon as she left, he’d pick up right where he left off. There was no reason to involve anyone else in his mess.
He’d figure this out. He always did.
Stretching out his legs, he let his gaze wander. It settled on a woman in the shop across from him. She was standing next to the cash register and handing the cashier a credit card. He studied her as a thought began to form in his mind.
Layla.
She was probably going to pay with her card.
James bolted off of the bench and back into the store. He had no idea what the men who were after Juan were capable of or if they had the means to track credit card transactions. Just in case, he needed to catch her before she paid.
After a quick glance into the dressing rooms came up empty, James made his way through the store. Thankfully, she wasn’t at the cash register. So where was she?
Relief washed over him when he found her off in the corner to the left. She was standing in what looked like the baby section of the store. He approached her to find that she was staring at an outfit for a baby. She looked as if she were in a trance and didn’t move when he approached her.
It was strange that she was in the baby section, wasn’t it?
Not sure what to do, James waited to see if she would notice him. When she didn’t look over, he cleared his throat. That caused her to jump and whip her gaze over to him. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted.
Then a blush rushed over her cheeks as she pinched her lips together into a forced smile. She returned the clothing item to the rack.
“Everything okay?” he asked, flicking his gaze over to the clothes she’d been staring at.
Layla hugged the items that were draped over her arm and nodded. “Yes, of course. Why?”
James studied her but then decided to not ask the question that was in his mind. She was going through a trauma right now. So what if she got lost in the baby section of the store?
“I don’t want you using your card just in case they can track it.” He reached out to take the clothes from her. His fingers brushed her arm, but he forced his mind to stay calm. It meant nothing. It couldn’t.
“Oh, okay,” she said as she released her hold on the clothes and then wrapped her arms around her chest.
Grateful that he wasn’t going to have to persuade her, he made his way up to the register and paid for the clothes. After they were bagged, he grabbed the handles and turned, holding them up. “Ready to go?”
Layla nodded and followed after James as they made their way out of the store and into the rest of the mall. After finding a bathroom, Layla changed while James waited outside. She came out in some pale pink shorts and a floral, off-shoulder shirt.
Her dark hair cascaded down her shoulders, framing her face and taking James’s breath away. She was beautiful and fragile, and the desire to protect her took over his mind and body.
Forcing those feelings down, he straightened, pulling her bags off the ground, and smiled. “Ready?”
She tucked her hair behind her ear and nodded.
James motioned toward the exit, and Layla kept in step with him. Just as he pushed open the doors to the outside, he smiled down at her. “Next stop, Honey Grove.”
Chapter Eight
The scenery whipped by Layla’s window as she set
tled back in her seat. Her mind was swirling from what had happened at the store, and she needed a moment to figure out how she felt about any of it.
James had been so sweet the entire time, even if he’d been a bit standoffish. From helping her with her dress to finding her clothes in a different size, all of it made her soul feel warm.
Sneaking a peek in James’s direction, she studied him as he stared straight ahead. His jaw was clenched, and his grip on the wheel told her he was thinking about something. And she wanted to know what.
Was he wondering why he’d found her standing in the baby section staring at a sleeper? Did he figure out her secret? Worry brewed in her stomach as she shifted so that she could face him head-on. She needed to know what he knew. The last thing she wanted was for James to go running back to Juan with her secret.
She was done with that man and the danger he put her in.
“Is everything okay?” she asked as she leaned over.
James twitched as he snapped his gaze over to her. She could see him study her through his sunglasses. At first, she wasn’t sure what he was thinking. He seemed upset, but not with her. With something else.
And then her thoughts turned to last night and his nightmare. Maybe it had something to do with that.
Concern coursed through her veins as she held his gaze. A few seconds later, he turned his attention back to the road, his grip on the wheel still tense.
“I’m fine,” he said. His voice was low and told her everything she needed to know. He was not fine. Not by a long shot.
She couldn’t let him continue on like this. If her experience with Connor taught her anything, it was that holding onto the past never got rid of it. James was never going to be able to move on if he didn’t face whatever was bothering him.
Maybe there was a reason fate had thrown them together—despite Juan’s indiscretions. Maybe it was because she knew what he was going through. She was meant to help him.
“How long have the nightmares been happening?” She mustered her courage as she forced her voice to come out strong.
James flicked his gaze over to her and then back to the road. The silence in the car almost deafened her as she waited for him to respond. Finally, he blew out his breath, his shoulders visibly relaxing.
“Two years.”
Layla swallowed. “Two years. Have you ever talked to someone about them? Like, in the mental health profession?”
James nodded. “A therapist. Once. I dropped her a few months ago.”
“Why?”
James glanced over at her again and then sighed. “Some people just can’t change.”
Layla studied him. Did he mean the therapist or himself? Shaking her head, she fiddled with her hair. “I don’t believe that. I can’t believe that. Everyone can change.”
James swallowed and she studied the movement of his muscles. He was working through something. She could tell. She just wished he’d talk to her about it.
“Do you really believe that?” he asked, his voice low and deep from emotion. It caused shivers to run across her skin.
“I have to.”
“Do you think Juan can change?” He didn’t look over at her this time. He kept his gaze on the road.
Layla felt as if he had punched her in the gut. She hadn’t expected him to bring up Juan like that. It was a question she had constantly asked herself. There had been reasons she’d fallen in love with him. She knew that. He’d been kind and sweet—but that had changed. And those reasons weren’t good enough for her to ignore what he was doing.
Or forget the man he’d become.
“Yes. But he’d have to promise never to do it again.” Pain filled her chest as she sat back in her seat. “And Juan didn’t want to give those things up. Not even for me.” Her voice broke as she tried to swallow her emotions.
She’d given up on Juan and their future. She’d started to forget him, only to have him drag her back into his mess. If he loved her, he would have changed. But their love didn’t matter that much to him. Her breaking heart was evidence of that
When James didn’t say anything, Layla glanced over at him.
“Do you believe that there are unforgivable acts a person can commit?”
“Yes,” she whispered. Any other answer would have been a lie. As much as she wanted to forgive Juan, she couldn’t.
James just nodded as he gripped the steering wheel. “Well, what happened in my past is an unforgivable act.” His voice was barely a whisper now. Layla had to lean in to hear him.
When his words settled around her, she peeked up at him. Even though James kept saying that something horrible had happened, she couldn’t help but wonder how a guy as sweet as him could hurt anyone. There had to be more to what he was saying.
“I don’t believe that,” she said before she could stop herself.
That caught James’s attention. He turned to glance over at her. She could see the pain in his gaze and the tension in the car was a palpable as summer heat. He shook his head as he turned his attention back to the road.
“I’m not exaggerating, and I don’t need your pity.” There was a bite to his tone that startled her.
She studied him and then shook her head. “But—”
“Don’t.” James’s voice had turned to pleading. He shook his head. “Please don’t. You don’t understand. I can’t be forgiven. What I did…it’s unforgivable.”
Even though James obviously wasn’t lying, Layla was having a hard time believing him. She’d been around her share of swindlers, and not one had had the tone of remorse like James did. He was beating himself up over something, and call her crazy, but she was sure whatever it was wasn’t his fault.
As she studied him, she realized that there wasn’t a lot she could say to change his mind. James seemed determined to hate himself for whatever he’d done. And she knew from experience that it was going to take some time before she could convince him otherwise.
A growing sense of duty rose up in her gut. By the end of their time together, she would help him face this demon he was hiding from. She knew it had to do something with the woman in the photo. She needed to earn his trust. Give him a reason to confide in her. Then she’d help him see that this darkness he was holding onto didn’t have to define him.
With a new sense of purpose, Layla leaned back against her seat and let out a soft sigh. Focusing on James would help her forget about her own problems. Especially about the tiny one growing inside of her.
She welcomed that distraction.
They didn’t roll into Honey Grove until seven o’clock that evening. James seemed to visibly relax as they passed by the town’s welcome sign. His grip loosened as he let out his breath.
It made Layla wonder if he’d been holding in the air for the last six hours they’d been in the car.
If he had, she didn’t fault him. In fact, she was probably just as ready to get out of the car as he was. She legs were cramping, and she was pretty sure her feet were swollen to twice their normal size. If this was what was happening to her body three months into her pregnancy, she was not looking forward to what the next six months were going to bring.
And then thoughts of her baby caused her stomach to twist. She needed a break. Something to think about other than her impending future as a single mother.
“Tell me about your family,” she said, glancing over at him.
James met her gaze, and a slow, lazy smile spread across his lips. “They’re your typical all-American family. My mom and dad are great. Though my mom is a little nosy. She likes to be in everyone’s business.”
“And your dad?”
“He’s definitely the yin to her yang. He’s calmer. Always working to keep Mom from driving us crazy. He owns a construction company that we all worked at over the summers growing up…” His voice drifted off like he was remembering something sweet. “Even now, Dad takes us boys in when we need his help.”
“You boys?” Layla turned so she could study him. A twinge of j
ealousy rose up inside of her. She was alone. Connor was gone and her parents were off gallivanting around the world, trying to deal with his death. She really didn’t have family roots like James.
“Yeah. There are four of us brothers. Josh is with Beth, she’s the girl that grew up across the street. I guess things changed when Josh moved back home with his son, Jordan.”
Layla watched him, narrowing her eyes.
James slowed to a stop in front of a red light and turned as he held up his hand. “Then there’s Jonathan. He plays for the NFL and is engaged to Tiffany.”
“So Josh is with Beth and has Jordan. Jonathan is with Tiffany.” She nodded her head, trying to commit what he said to memory. There were a lot of names, and she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to keep up.
“Then me.” He pointed to his chest. “Then Jackson. He works in New York, but I doubt he’ll be down here for the party.”
“Josh, Jonathan, you, and Jackson.” Layla couldn’t help but smile. Even though she’d never met them, she could tell she was going to like this family.
“And then there’s Jenna.”
Layla scrunched up her nose. “Jenna?”
“The only Braxton girl.”
“And she’s…?”
“The baby.”
Layla nodded. “Wow. Sounds like you had a busy childhood.”
The light turned green and James nodded. “It was crazy but good.” His words lingered in the air as he stared straight ahead. She could tell he was lost in his thoughts, and for the first time, he didn’t seem stressed. Returning home was exactly what his soul needed.
“And there’s Dean.”
She glanced over at him. “Who?”
“Dean. He’s a foster kid that we adopted into our family.” James smiled. It was sweet and unabashed. “Can’t forget Dean.”
“Hopefully they don’t expect me to remember all of this.”
James chuckled. “Don’t worry, they’re great. You’ll do great.” He gave her a wink.
Then his cheeks flushed as if he just realized what he’d done. It warmed her heart. Maybe it was because it showed that he could be playful. It seemed she was getting a glimpse of the real James Braxton.
Her Protector: A Braxton Brothers Romance Page 7