by Everson Cook
"Three cheers for Damon Arkon," the men and women shouted.
"You saved us!" they also shouted.
"Take me to bed or lose me forever, Your Highness," Kaateria said. She looked up at Damon with a twinkle in her eyes. Her grin ran from ear to ear.
"With pleasure."
Damon swooped Kaateria from her feet into his arms.
"Does anyone have an open bed around here? Preferably in one of the huts closest to the start of the path. She's a lot heavier than I thought she was. Also, my side still really hurts from being stabbed, so the sooner we could make that happen the better."
Kaateria pressed the tip of her finger to Damon's lips.
"Meridtora had one thing right. You really do need to stop talking."
Kaateria pressed her lips to Damon's once more.
And there was silence. At least from Damon. Unless the sound of smacking lips and dueling tongues was taken into consideration.
40
Damon awoke to find Kaateria staring at him. Her chin rested in her palm. The fingers of her other hand lazily trailed down Damon's stomach to his rapidly rising crotch below.
"This is my favorite way to get up in the morning," Damon said.
Kaateria laughed.
"What did Mona say to you? Before we left?"
"She told me that you had stayed up all night with me. That you had told me jokes, sang me songs, and talked to me until the sun came up. She told me that she thought that if you were capable of loving someone, then that person had to be me."
And then they kissed. And eventually moved on to things other than kissing. Things that required parts going into other parts and animal noises and weird stuff like that.
After a few minutes, they were done. They got their clothes back on and went to eat breakfast.
They opened the door and walked into the kitchen where Drenna, the young woman who's house they were in, was cooking plaffles.
"Good morning," Kaateria said. Her voice had a sing-songy quality to it.
"Good morning," Drenna said.
"Sleep well?" Damon asked as he came into the room.
"Not really," Drenna said. "I kept hearing these animal noises. Then the house shook. I thought maybe Meridtora had found a way back and we were under attack."
Damon and Kaateria shared a look and stifled a laugh.
"Then I heard it again a few minutes ago while I was making the plaffles. I walked outside to see what the commotion was. I didn't see anything, but it sounded like it was coming from every hut in the village."
Damon opened his mouth to say something, but instead got an elbow from Kaateria.
"That's quite strange," Kaateria said to Drenna.
Drenna put some plaffles on wooden plates that were set in front of her guests.
"Thanks for letting us stay here, Drenna. We really appreciate it," Kaateria said as she took a bite of the golden breakfast cake.
"It's the least I could do. You made everyone in the village so happy by bringing their husbands home." Drenna choked up. She placed her hand to her chest.
Kaateria walked over to her and rubbed her shoulders.
"I'm sorry," Drenna said. She reached up and patted Kaateria on the hand.
"It's ok. I'm sure your husband will show up."
"Maybe. You don't know him though. He was never good with directions."
"He didn't happen to be allergic to bees by chance?" Damon asked.
"Drenna's eyes lit up. "Yes! Did you see him when you were out there in Blackheel?"
Damon looked at Kaateria then back to Drenna.
"No. Not at all. Just a lucky guess brought on by that bee buzzing outside your window. These plaffles are amazing by the way."
Damon shoved a hearty bite into his mouth and chewed it with his mouth open.
"It's a shame you have to go. Both of you. Our village will be forever in your debt."
"Yes, I imagine you will be," Damon said. "But there are always others out there looking for someone to save them. Hopefully a much farther distance from Flenshorn."
Drenna nodded in understanding. Damon and Kaateria each took a bite of their plaffles. Neither one speaking a word to the other, but knowing exactly what the other was thinking. Or, at least Damon believed he knew what Kaateria was thinking. If he had asked her though, he would've found out he was wrong. She was not actually wondering if there was time for another roll in the sack.
Once they finished eating, Damon and Kaateria walked outside. They were surprised to find their horses already dressed and fully stocked.
"Buttercup," Damon shouted. He ran over to the horse and patted her on the nose. Buttercup gently nuzzled him with it. Damon took the gesture to mean that Buttercup had missed him. Buttercup was just trying to express that the packs were heavy and she'd appreciate it if Damon lightened her load.
"Where did you find her?"
"She just walked up. When we came outside, there she was. Figured it looked like a fine enough horse for a man like you. And sounds like we were right," Gandor said.
Damon pressed his face into Buttercup's nose and breathed deeply. The horse smelled of a mixture of sweat, dirt, and feces. And a faint hint of apple. To most it would be an unpleasant smell. But for Damon it was familiar. And that made it ok. Although he did cough briefly when the smell caught in the back of his throat.
Then he reached out to shake Gandor's hand. But Gandor wasn't expecting it, so Damon ended up squeezing his fingers. Damon quickly let them go.
"Thank you, Gandor," Damon said, ignoring the awkwardness of the fumbled handshake.
Gandor clasped his hands together and bowed his head forward. It was an unusual gesture, but one that allowed him to hold his own hands instead of one of Damon's, avoiding any more stumbles on the way out.
Everyone was standing outside of their huts to see them off. All of them were bleary eyed and hastily dressed. Some of the men skipped shirts. To Damon's disappointment, none of the women did. The closest thing he got were bare shoulders as their dresses hung disheveled on their bodies.
Kaateria walked over to Brewnyn and hugged her.
Damon went down the line and gave all of the women hugs good-bye. He pulled each one in for a firm grasp, mashing their breasts into his chest. He gave each man a handshake. Much better than the one he gave Gandor.
Kaateria mounted her horse like she had mounted Damon the night before. With ease.
Damon grabbed Buttercup's reins and pulled her forward. Not ready to get on her back quite yet.
They waved their final farewells to the people and walked out of sight.
41
"So where do we go from here?" Kaateria asked as she brought her horse to a stop.
"You heard what I told Drenna. As far away from Flenshorn as I can get."
Damon looked into Kaateria's eyes.
"Come with me," he said.
"I already did. A couple times."
"Come with me now. Away from here."
Kaateria sadly shook her head.
"I don't want to constantly be on the run."
"Then we'll walk."
"You know what I mean. King Glendorrys won't rest until we either return with the ring. Or he knows you're dead."
Damon stared at her.
"We don't have the ring."
"So, I'll go back and tell King Glendorrys you're dead," Kaateria said.
"Don't be foolish. He'll kill you."
"He won't. He'll have no reason to. I'll tell him Belosic stole the ring and you died trying to get it back."
"But I can never truly die," Damon said with a chuckle. "They'll tell stories about me for an eternity."
"I'm sure they will. And they'll be legendary."
Damon smiled.
"They'll search to the end of the earth for Belosic. You'll be safe," Kaateria said.
"As long as I keep an eye out. Not literally, of course."
"Maybe we'll meet again some day, Damon Arkon."
"I'd like that."
Damon started to say something, but stopped. For once, he decided to hold his tongue and not ruin a moment. Instead he just nodded.
They both looked at each other. Neither wanting to say the words. Not wanting to finalize it. But feeling the gulf growing. The emptiness they were about to feel as they parted ways.
Kaateria kicked her heel into the horse's haunches and rode off.
Damon watched her until he could no longer make out what was supposed to be her and what was supposed to be something unrelated. And, if he was being completely honest with himself, he was probably just watching a bird flying about for the last bit.
Kaateria, meanwhile, never looked back.
"Well, Buttercup, looks like it's just you and me." Damon patted the horse on her snout. "What do you say, ready for another one?"
The horse whinnied. Damon thought she was agreeing with him. And, for the first time, she was.
Damon threw his leg over Buttercup and, once he was settled onto her back, he snapped the reins.
And they were off.
Off in search of more great adventures. To form new legends.
The Legends of Damon Arkon: The World's Greatest Swordfighter.
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Damon Arkon is broke.
Literally.
Can he concoct a plan to rob the chamberlain of enough coin that it'll even out the bulges in his pants?
Or, will he find himself in a real pickle?
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, and events are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
About the Author
Everson Cook writes books for adults who haven't grown up.
His work is influenced by a foam sword he got on his eleventh birthday, hours spent watching late-night movies on cable, and an experience he had at a renaissance festival. He has a beard that gives him the power to drink coffee and IPAs, generally not at the same time. Everson lives in St. Paul, MN, along with 300,000 other people, some of whom he considers family.
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