by J. L. Wilder
“For humans, they are!” Zoe said. “And you are partially human, whether you like it or not. Which you clearly don’t.”
He sighed. “I just want to be my best self,” he said. “I don’t know what’s so wrong with that.”
“Well, what’s so wrong with being human? Why isn’t that your best self?”
“Because humans are weak,” Xavier explained. “By nature, they’re weaker than wolves. And I want to be strong. It’s that simple.”
“Humans aren’t weak.”
“Sure they are,” Xavier said. “If you need proof, you don’t have to look any further than those bears who attacked you. What did you do to get away from them?”
She didn’t answer.
Because she knows I’m right.
“You shifted,” he said. “You knew that it was your only hope of outrunning them. And you were right.”
She focused on scraping the scales from her fish.
“And when I fought the bears,” he went on, “I won that fight because I was in my animal form and they weren’t. That was how I was able to get the best of them.”
“Okay,” she said. “So you’re better at fighting when you’re in your animal form. But that doesn’t mean you’re stronger.”
“What are you talking about?” Xavier asked. “Of course, that’s what it means. That’s why I was able to win the fight. Because I was literally stronger than they were.”
“There’s more than one kind of strength, though,” Zoe said. “Your thoughts are slower when you’re in animal form. Don’t you ever notice that?”
“No, they aren’t.”
“Well,” she amended, “maybe slower is the wrong way to put it. But they’re definitely less complex. Wolves aren’t good at things like problem-solving or rational thought. Wolves follow their instincts.”
“My instincts don’t lead me in the wrong direction,” Xavier said.
“Never?” Zoe shook her head. “I don’t think that’s something anyone can realistically say. We all make mistakes from time to time.”
“Well, I make fewer mistakes when I trust my gut,” Xavier said. “It’s when you get too far into your own head that you start messing things up. Humans can second guess themselves until they go crazy. Humans can become paralyzed by indecision. That’s not something wolves have to worry about.”
Zoe shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “All I know is that logic and reason seem pretty important. Maybe you’ve been lucky so far. But if you just run on instinct, if you never think through your choices, then you don’t know why you’re making them. You never learn anything.”
She got to her feet. Xavier realized, to his surprise, that she was holding two perfect fish fillets in her hands. He had stopped paying attention to what she was doing and had completely failed to notice her progress.
“When did you do that?” he asked her.
“Just now,” she said. “This whole time. I’ve been working on it. You saw me.”
“But I never showed you how to gut the fish, he protested.
“Yes, you did,” she said. “You gutted your own.” She pointed to it. “I watched you.”
He had to admit, he was impressed. She had picked up the skill very quickly by studying what he had done. It had taken him a lot longer to become proficient at cleaning a fish when he had first gone off on his own.
Zoe smiled at him and went over to join Louis by the fire, leaving him staring after her in amazement.
Chapter Ten
ZOE
Zoe woke up the next morning feeling strong.
She stretched. Her back no longer burned. The wounds she had received at the hands of the bears had healed.
That’s good, she thought. It means that Xavier can take me back to camp now. They probably wouldn’t even need to run all the way to Omega University. It had been less than a week since the initial attack, so the campers were probably still nearby.
They’re probably looking for me, she thought, feeling a stab of guilt.
But she put that feeling aside. It wasn’t her fault she’d been attacked. There was no reason to feel guilty about that.
She got to her feet slowly and was pleased to find that the lightheadedness she’d been feeling for the past couple of days had faded. She felt back to normal now as if she had never been attacked at all.
She looked over at Xavier, sprawled out in the back of the cave and fast asleep, and was surprised by a twinge of disappointment.
What do I have to be disappointed about?
But she knew almost immediately.
Being recovered meant that it was time to leave. And she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Xavier.
Yes, he was a feral alpha who lived in a gross cave and ate things like squirrels. He was completely uncivilized. Everyone she knew in her real life—the pack she had come from, her friends at school—would be horrified by him.
Why was she so bothered by the idea of leaving him behind?
It’s because I know I’ll never see him again, she thought.
Once she returned to camp, there would be no way for her to ever see or talk to Xavier again. It wasn’t like he had a phone she could call. He was far too wild. And she was sure he would never come far enough south to pay her a visit.
She sighed and wandered out of the cave, past the dying embers of the fire.
It shouldn’t bother her so much, the idea of losing Xavier. She hardly even knew the guy.
But he had saved her life. Maybe that made a difference. Maybe that was why she felt so strangely bonded to him.
There was a raspberry bush right outside the cave. Zoe picked a few berries and ate them, making her way around the perimeter of the rock. She hadn’t really been outside since Xavier had brought her here, and the fresh air was nice. She took a deep breath, trying to distract herself from the unwelcome knowledge that today was the last day she would be spending in Xavier’s company.
Everything smelled so good here.
She wondered whether the smell was part of what had drawn Xavier to the wild. Most of his reasons for abandoning his own humanity had seemed ridiculous to her. But she had to admit that the woods smelled a lot richer than the buildings at Omega University. She would miss this.
Suddenly, she was jerked from her thoughts by the sound of something large crashing through the underbrush.
Zoe flattened herself against the side of the cave, stricken by terror, knowing that she could easily be seen here. Bear!
A moment later, though, Xavier appeared through the trees.
He might not have been a bear, but Zoe’s panic did not abate—he looked just as frightening as any bear she’d ever met. He advanced on her, his expression filled with rage.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded. “What were you thinking?”
She was too frightened to speak. Her mouth opened and closed, but she felt paralyzed, unable to answer his question. His rage was mesmerizing.
“You could have been killed!” he yelled. “You know there are wild bears in this part of the woods!”
“I’m...I’m right next to the cave,” she managed, but her protest came out sounding weak and breathy.
“You should know how fast they can sneak up on a person!” Xavier stormed. “They got the drop on you once and you almost died, Zoe. Do you really think you could survive them twice? Why would you come out here without anyone to protect you?”
He was shaking, she realized. He took deep, heaving breaths. He was close to panic. He was probably close to shifting.
She took a step toward him and rested a hand on his bare chest, knowing that she was risking further ire. “Nothing happened,” she said quietly.
“Because you were lucky.”
“Maybe so,” she allowed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come out. I’m sorry. Okay? I won’t do it again. I just wanted some fresh air.”
He was calming slightly. “I would have taken you,” he said. “All you had to do was ask.”
“You wer
e sleeping.”
“Wake me next time.”
The next time rung in her ears.
“There isn’t going to be a next time,” she said.
He raised his eyebrows, bringing his hand up to rest over hers, and she realized she was still touching his chest. “No?”
“I’m better,” she said. “My wounds are healed. I feel fine today. Well enough to travel. And you said you would take me back to camp.”
He was quiet for a long moment, just looking at her.
She felt a sudden stab of fear. “You will take me back to camp, won’t you?” she asked.
He nodded. “If that’s what you want,” he said. “Of course, I will.”
Zoe opened her mouth to say that it was what she wanted—and paused.
The words seemed to escape her.
He was watching her, his eyes wide, fixed on hers, and she still had her hand on his chest. He was holding it there.
“Stop that,” she said.
“Stop what?”
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“How am I looking at you?”
She didn’t know how to describe it. All she knew was that he was looking at her in a way that no one else had ever looked at her in her life. It was impossible to ignore, and she didn’t want to ignore it.
She wanted to fall into it.
“I have to go back,” she said.
He nodded. “But that isn’t the answer to the question I asked.”
She thought back. “You didn’t ask a question.”
A smile quirked across his lips. “Do you want me to take you back to camp?” he asked. “We can leave right now. I can have you back there in a matter of hours.”
“Hours?”
“Less, probably. Maybe more like one hour.”
“And we’d leave right now.”
“There’s no point in waiting around if you’re ready to go,” he said.
“I thought you would try to convince me to stay,” she admitted. “I thought you would tell me you didn’t think I was ready to travel.”
“You seem like you’re doing all right,” Xavier said. “You’ve been on your feet for a while now, and you don’t look like you’re about to pass out.”
Zoe nodded.
“So should we go?” he asked her.
“Yeah, we should,” she said.
But she still hadn’t moved.
She stepped back slowly now, dropping her hand from his chest—
And backed into the wall of rock behind her. She had forgotten that that was there.
Xavier closed the distance between them, frowning. “Are you all right?” he asked. “Did you hit your head?”
“I’m fine,” she breathed, staring up at him.
His hand came to rest on her hip. “Are you sure?”
“I didn’t hit my head.”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to go,” he said. “You could stay here. With me.”
And he brought a hand up to run his thumb along the line of her jaw.
A part of Zoe had expected, this whole time, that Xavier wouldn’t want her to leave. That he would try to convince her, or compel her, to stay.
She had expected it to feel like a threat. Not like an invitation.
And she found she couldn’t breathe.
He cupped his hand behind her neck and brought himself closer to her, until their foreheads were inches apart. “You’re a natural,” he said. “I’ve been watching you. The way you’ve adapted to this life, just in the past couple of days. You could do it, just like Louis and I do it. You could embrace your wolf side and become one of us.”
“I couldn’t,” she whispered. “It’s not...who I am...”
His lips found hers, and Zoe forgot what she had been saying.
She had never been kissed before. Mated omegas like Daphne often exchanged kisses with their mates, even while they were at school and weren’t supposed to get too intimate. But before they were mated, omegas were supposed to keep their distance from alphas. It was safest.
Now, though, Zoe didn’t know how she had managed to resist all these years.
She bent in Xavier’s arms like a reed in the wind, conforming to the shape of his body as he leaned over her, knowing that if he let her go, she would fall to the ground. Knowing, somehow, that he would not let that happen.
His hands were so big. So supportive. She was safe here.
The scent of him seemed to surround her. He smelled like the woods, like fresh dirt and night air, all the best things that made their home in the wild. Tasting him was like the first breath of air after emerging from a long time underwater. She couldn’t get enough.
He pulled away enough to look her in the eyes. “I knew there was something,” he said. “Something in the way I felt when I looked at you.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” she whispered.
“I think you do,” he murmured. “I’ve never felt like this before. Have you?”
“No,” she admitted.
“And when we talked about you leaving—I would have taken you, Zoe. I really would have, if you’d asked me to. I still will. But it felt like the end of the world to me. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than saying goodbye to you forever.”
Zoe nodded. How had he known? How could his thoughts so closely mirror her own? It didn’t seem to make sense.
“You know what this is, don’t you?” he asked. “The reason we feel this way?”
She shook her head.
“An imprint,” he said. “I’ve imprinted on you.”
The world seemed to turn upside down.
Zoe had been waiting years to find a mate. To have someone imprint on her. But this guy? A feral alpha?
How could that possibly work?
She didn’t know.
And right now, it didn’t matter.
Because he was bringing her close again, kissing her again, and she could close her eyes and allow herself to get lost in his smell, in his touch.
She felt his hands slide into the shorts she was wearing. She was naked beneath them, and a part of her wondered why she didn’t feel nervous or embarrassed. But it was too hard to concentrate. She wanted to be touched. She wanted his hands all over her.
She wriggled out of the shorts, letting them fall to the ground, and kicked them away.
Xavier turned her in his arms, pressing his palms flat against her stomach, then skating them up her torso to cup her breasts. That felt so good that she crossed her arms over her chest and covered his hands with her own, resting her thumbs against his so she could feel the way he caressed her nipples, sending jolts of pleasure through her.
Her knees felt weak.
One of his hands left her, and she heard the sound of a zipper. Then his fingers were between her legs, touching her so lightly, so gently, that it felt like barely more than a soft breeze.
Nothing had ever felt so good in all her life. If it hadn't been for the arm he still had wrapped around her torso, she would have fallen to the ground.
She could feel him now, pressing up against her. She could feel how hard he was, and how he throbbed every time she moved. He wanted her as badly as she wanted him.
It was an amazing feeling.
“Tell me to stop,” he said, his voice a growl.
Animal, she thought.
She shook her head. “No,” she said. “Don’t stop.”
It was all he needed to hear. He thrust into her, a sudden, fierce motion that made her cry out and go limp in his arms.
He was still for a long time. The only thing she could feel was his rapid breathing behind her. After a moment, Zoe realized that he was waiting for her to adjust, to be ready to continue. She took a deep breath and willed her body to relax, to welcome him instead of fighting him.
As soon as she achieved that, the pleasure hit her and swept her away.
He bent over her, his lips on her neck, on her shoulder. His fingers were still between her legs, and now they began to ap
ply more pressure. The arm that crossed her chest supported her weight so fully that she thought she could have picked her feet up off the ground without causing any problems.
He began to move.
And almost immediately, nothing mattered anymore.
All she could think about were his hands, his mouth, the way he felt filling her up from the inside. All she could focus on was him.
She couldn’t have said how long they were there, joined together, moving as one. Her orgasm approached, broke over her, and even that seemed to last forever. She felt so high, and she thought she might never come down.
Eventually, of course, she did.
Her vision cleared, and so did her other senses. Xavier had dropped to his knees on the ground and was holding her pressed to his chest, breathing in the scent of her. She shifted a little, freeing herself just enough from his grip that she was able to look up at him from the cradle of his arms.
“Well,” she said, “that was...unexpected.”
He managed a low chuckle. “For me too,” he said.
“You didn’t bring me back to your cave thinking that things might go in this direction?”
“Definitely not,” he said. “I wasn’t thinking about anything like this. You were hurt, and I wanted to help you. That was all.”
“You helped me, all right.”
“Can you stand?” he asked. “Louis is going to come looking for us if we don’t get back to the cave soon.”
She got to her feet, staggering just a little. She found the shorts she had kicked away and went to put them on.
Then she turned back to Xavier. “What are we going to do now?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’ll still take you back to your camp if that’s what you want to do.” But he looked miserable at the prospect.
Zoe shook her head. “I think we need to at least try to figure out a new plan,” she said. “If you imprinted on me, that means you and I...”
“We’re mates,” Xavier said.
Zoe nodded. “I can’t just walk away from something like that,” she said.
“No,” Xavier agreed. “Neither can I.”
Chapter Eleven