by J. L. Wilder
“I’m nervous,” Zoe said.
“What about?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “Everything.”
“Giving birth?”
“Not that so much,” she said. “I know it makes sense to be worried about that part, but to be honest with you, I’m more concerned about what comes next. These babies...they’ve been a part of me for such a long time. It’s going to feel strange to be separated from them. Unnatural.”
“It’s what’s supposed to happen,” he reminded her, squeezing her hand in his. “I know it’ll be an adjustment, but you’ll do fine.”
“How am I going to protect them?” she asked. “The world is so dangerous, Xavier. I was hunted by those bears. They almost killed me. If something happened to our babies, I wouldn’t be able to stand it.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to them,” Xavier assured her. “We’ll keep them safe.”
She wrapped her arms around her stomach protectively. “I won’t be able to know where they are all the time,” she said. “I won’t be able to—to shield them, the way I can now. I won’t be able to make sure they get enough food just by eating my own meals. I’ll never be able to take better care of these babies than I am right now.”
“But you’ll be able to know them,” Xavier pointed out. “You’ll be able to watch our children grow up. You’ll be able to be a friend and a confidant for them. That’s just as important.”
She closed her eyes and nodded. “I know you’re right,” she said. “And I’m looking forward to that part. I’m just afraid.”
“You’ll have help,” he promised her. “You’ll have me to help you raise and protect them. And we’ll have Louis, too. He may not be their parent, but he’ll be their packmate, and we can rely on him to help us look after them.”
Zoe nodded. “I’m so glad I have both of you,” she said. “I’m so glad I’m not doing this by myself.”
“I’m sorry you ever thought you would have to do it alone,” Xavier whispered. “I’ll always be with you. I promise.”
Chapter Twenty
XAVIER
“Xavier.”
Someone was shaking his shoulder. Xavier batted the hand away.
“Xavier!”
He opened his eyes.
It was still dark outside, but the darkness had the pale quality that came right before sunrise as if someone had poured water over it. Louis was leaning over him. “What?” Xavier asked.
“She’s in labor.”
Xavier was on his feet in an instant. He and Louis had been sleeping in shifts for the past week, one of them always awake with Zoe in case she needed anything or her labor began. “When did it start?” he asked.
“About an hour ago.”
“An hour! And you didn’t come and get me?”
“She could be laboring for a long time, Xavier,” Louis said. “We both agreed that it made more sense to let you get a little sleep at the beginning when it wasn’t that dramatic. She’s been doing fine.”
Xavier hurried to Zoe’s side. She was lying alone in their nest of blankets, Louis’ sleeping bag rolled up like a pillow behind her back. “Zoe, all right?”
“I’m fine,” she assured him. “It hasn’t been bad yet. I wanted you to sleep.”
He nodded and knelt beside her, taking her hand. “You can do this,” he said.
“I know I can.” Her face was pink with exertion, and she was sweating, but she was also smiling. “It hasn’t been bad so far. I’m going to be fine.”
“I’ll make a run for some water,” Louis said. “I’m sure you’ll be thirsty before this is over.”
“Hurry back,” Xavier said. Though he was glad to be with Zoe now, he felt apprehensive about what was to come. The more hands they had on deck, the more confident he knew he would be.
Louis nodded. “Ten minutes tops,” he said, and took off at a run.
Xavier turned his attention to Zoe. “You’re feeling all right?” he asked. “The pain isn’t too bad?”
“No, it’s—” she stopped speaking mid-sentence and clutched at Xavier’s hand. “Oh, God.”
“Breathe,” he urged her. He lifted her hand and pressed her palm against his chest so that she could feel his own lungs expanding and contracting. It was a technique they had practiced over the past few weeks, a visceral, tangible way of reminding her of the need to breathe through the pain.
It worked. Zoe matched her breathing to his, and the grimace slowly began to fade from her face. “That was a bad one,” she murmured.
“They haven’t all been that bad?” Xavier asked.
“No, that was the worst one so far,” Zoe said. She managed a little laugh. “Looks like you got up right in time for the fun to begin.”
“Looks like it,” he agreed. He crawled behind her and pulled her carefully into a halfway upright position, allowing her to recline so that her back was against his chest. “I wouldn’t have missed it for anything, just for the record.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” she said quietly. “I don’t know if I could have done this without you.”
“You absolutely could have,” he told her. “You don’t have to. You’ll never have to do anything without me. I’ll always be here for you. But you’re strong. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I know you could have handled anything you had to handle to protect these babies.
Her hand tightened on his.
“You’re okay,” he whispered, brushing a soft kiss on the crown of her head. “You’re all right, Zoe. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
When the contraction had eased, she looked up at him. Anxiety was written across her face. “That was really fast,” she said. “They haven’t been coming that fast.”
“That means it’s almost time for you to deliver,” Xavier said.
“But Louis isn’t here yet,” Zoe said. She sounded on the verge of tears. “We need him.”
“We can do it without him if we have to,” Xavier said.
She took a breath and nodded.
“I know it’s scary,” he said. “We had a birthing plan, and I know you want everything to go according to that plan.”
“Yeah.”
“But if there are a few deviations, we’ll be all right,” Xavier said. “You and I know what to do. We can figure this out.”
Zoe’s face twisted in pain again. Xavier held her, wishing to God he could take some of her pain, wishing that he could bear this agony for her. The only thing he could do was to let her squeeze the fuck out of his hand, so he would do that. He would sit here and hold her until her delivery was over.
Louis appeared in the mouth of the cave. “Got the water,” he said, holding up their canteens.
Xavier had never been happier to see his friend. “I think she’s about to deliver,” he said.
Zoe let out a sob that might have been born of pain or fear, or perhaps some combination of the two.
Louis appeared unshaken. “All right,” he said, crossing the cave and kneeling down beside them. “How are you, Zoe? Do you need anything right now?”
“I...I don’t know...”
“It’s all right,” Louis said. “Your body was made for this. Just remember that. You know instinctively what to do. And we’re right here with you. We’re going to help you through it.”
She looked terrified.
Xavier had a sudden horrible thought. “Zoe,” he said, “are you wishing you were doing this in a hospital?”
Louis shot him a look. “We don’t have time to get her to a hospital,” he said. “This is happening now. There’s not going to be any change of plans.”
Zoe shook her head. “I wouldn’t—I wouldn’t want to go to a hospital anyway,” she said. “This is what we planned on. This is what we agreed to. And I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else besides my pack.”
Xavier felt a wash of relief. That was what she had been saying for the past few weeks, but he had been concerned that, now that the moment was actually he
re, she might have changed her mind. It was good to see that her resolve hadn’t wavered, that she still felt secure in the choices they had made together.
“The first one’s coming,” Louis said. “It’s time to push, Zoe.”
She closed her eyes and tightened her hands around Xavier’s. He held her, trying to channel his strength into her body, trying to help her through these first few moments of the delivery.
The baby came easily, sliding into Louis’ arms. “It’s a boy,” Louis announced.
“Why doesn’t he cry?” Zoe asked, clearly alarmed.
“It’s normal,” Xavier assured her. “Shifter babies don’t cry, usually. Sometimes they whine. They’re born human, but they’re very close to their animal sides at birth.”
As if to verify what his father was saying, the new baby boy gave a wolfish whimper.
Louis passed him to Zoe. He wet a cloth and handed that to her as well. “You can start to clean him up if you’d like,” he said. “It looks like we might have a minute or two until the next one comes along.”
Zoe was breathing hard, clearly exhausted, but she accepted her son gladly and began to wipe him clean. “Look at him,” she said, glancing up at Xavier. “Isn’t he perfect?”
The baby opened and closed his mouth a few times, then kicked his feet sleepily.
“Perfect,” Xavier agreed. My son. He was amazed at how in love he was with the boy already. “He’ll be a great alpha someday.”
“You think he’s an alpha?” Zoe asked.
“He’s Xavier’s firstborn,” Louis said. “He’s almost definitely the next alpha in line. He’ll lead this pack when he’s older.”
That was a strange thing to picture. Xavier tried to imagine it. His firstborn son, the leader of not only the rest of the litter that Zoe was about to give birth to, but also any future children they might have, and any future children that Louis might have.
This pack would be big someday.
“We’re going to need a bigger cave,” he murmured.
Zoe laughed, but her laugh was cut short by a gasp of pain. “Xavier!”
“Next baby’s coming,” Louis said. “It’s all right; it’ll be over in a moment.”
Zoe’s arms shook. Xavier scooped the baby away from her and laid him on Louis’ sleeping bag, then wrapped his arms around Zoe. “It’s all right,” he said. “You’re so strong. You’ve got this.”
She cried out once, and then Louis was holding up the next of the babies. “A girl,” he said. Glancing down, he added, “I’m afraid you don’t get much of a break this time, Zoe. They’re coming quickly now.”
The rest of the delivery was astonishingly fast. Xavier barely had time to take his daughter from Louis’ arms before the next baby was coming, and then the next. Zoe seemed to lose herself in a haze of pain and effort, forgetting her surroundings entirely, until at last, the final baby was in Louis arms and her labor was over.
She lay back in Xavier’s arms, shaking, exhausted, drenched in sweat.
“I think we’ll take that water now,” Xavier said quietly.
Louis handed him the canteen.
“The babies,” Zoe mumbled. “Take care of the babies first, Xavier.”
“It’s all right,” he said. “Louis is with them. He’s getting them all cleaned up and wrapped up in the cloths we bought. They’ll be ready for us to hold in a few minutes.”
“I lost count—”
“Drink.” He held the canteen to her lips.
“No, I want to see—”
“Drink, Zoe,” he said firmly. “It’s an order.”
She had no choice but to obey, but the look in her eyes made it clear she resented being told what to do.
“It’s important,” he said. “You’ve been working hard. You’re dehydrated. I want you in good shape. These babies depend on you. You know that. You can’t be passing out when they’re ready for you to start feeding them.”
“I’m not going to pass out,” she protested.
“That’s right, you’re not,” Xavier agreed. “Because you’re going to be well hydrated.
She scowled, but she allowed him to press another drink of water upon her.
When she had finished about half of the canteen, Xavier lifted two of the babies into her arms. “They’re all doing well,” he said. “They’re all healthy.”
“How many?” she asked.
“Six,” he said. “Three boys and three girls.”
“Which one is the alpha?”
“This one.” Xavier showed her the baby he was holding. “He’s a little bigger than any of the rest of them, so it will be easy to remember.”
“We’ll have to come up with a way to tell the rest of them apart,” Zoe mused idly, but he could tell her mind wasn’t deeply invested in that question. She was too distracted by the faces of her children.
He knew how she felt. Holding his son, the next alpha in his line, was a feeling like nothing Xavier had ever felt before.
I almost gave this up when I came out into the wild to live on my own, he realized. I had no plan for meeting an omega. No plan for having children. And if I hadn’t stumbled across Zoe...
He would have lived his entire life without feeling this sensation of pride. Without knowing that he was going to pass along his genes, his knowledge, to the next generation.
He’ll be the alpha of the pack, and he’ll remember everything I taught him.
In that way, Xavier’s legacy would go on forever.
Zoe had begun to feed one of the babies she held. She closed her eyes and hummed a bit of a song Xavier didn’t recognize. “What was that?” he asked.
“What was what?”
“That song. What you were humming.”
“Oh,” she said, surprised. “I didn’t realize I was doing it.”
“Where did you learn it? At school?”
“No,” she said. “They never taught us lullabies at Omega University. I must have picked it up somewhere else.”
“You don’t remember where?” Louis asked.
“No,” Zoe said. “I have no idea.
But Xavier did. “Someone sang it to you,” he said. “A long time ago. When you were just a baby yourself. Someone must have held you and sang you that song. That’s where you learned it.”
“Maybe,” Zoe said quietly. “That would make sense.”
“Your mother sang that song to you,” Xavier said, “and now you’re singing it to our children. Carrying on the things you learned. Creating your own legacy.”
“Do you think so?” Zoe asked.
“Yes,” Xavier said. “I’m almost sure of it.”
Zoe smiled down at the babies in her arms and said nothing, but Xavier could see the happiness in her eyes.
And he could feel it, too. He had been pleased with the life he had built here in the wild for a long time, but he had never felt the joy he felt today, with his second in command, his omega, and his six newborn babies around him.
They would learn the ways of the wolf. They would be strong and wild. And they would also learn their human heritage. His pack would be the toughest pack of shifters anyone had ever known.
He cradled his alpha son and sat back to watch Zoe feed their children, feeling perfectly content.
Next in Series: Alpha Bully
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About The Author
J.L. Wilder likes wild things! Her alpha shifters are gruff and tough, with a pinch of tenderness. Curl up with these bad boy book boyfriends, and they will have you howling at the moon!
When not writing shifter smut, J.L. spends as much time as possible exploring the outdoors. She loves getting into trouble with Ace, her Siberian Husky.
You can grab a free shifter romance and join her email here: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/mvci9dryz6