“Your baby is beautiful,” the checker smiled, as she rang me up. A badge on her shirt told me her name was Harriet.
“Thanks,” I said, looking down at the wiggling bundle in the car seat, perched on the edge of the overflowing shopping cart.
“What’s her name?”
I paused. I didn’t know her name. But that didn’t really matter.
“Olivia,” I replied. “Libby, for short.”
“That’s such a sweet name,” Harriet gushed.
“Thank you,” I said, smiling back. The baby coo’d and we both laughed as she finished checking me out.
“That’ll be $548.93,” she said. “Whew, babies are expensive, aren’t they?”
I handed her six crisp, hundred-dollar bills and nodded in agreement.
“Unbelievably so,” I replied.
She gave me my change and I walked out of the store, pushing my newly acquired newborn to my newly acquired Subaru Outback. I’d bought it with cash this morning, a fitting accessory to my latest new-mom disguise. After ditching the car I’d used to kidnap the baby, I’d switched to the Subaru a few miles away and driven far out of the city, finally stopping in Woodland.
After loading everything up, I headed to the hotel room I’d rented to hunker down until it was time for my next move.
CHAPTER THREE
GRACE
“Let me out of here!” I insisted, trying to stand up from the hospital bed. Ryder and Bones held me down gently.
“Not yet,” Bones said, his calm, warm eyes driving me absolutely mad. This was not the time for staying calm.
“I need to be out there, we have to find her, goddammit!” I raged at both of them, my words spitting with anger.
“Riot’s at Starbucks right now meeting with the manager. They’re pulling the security tapes. There’s nothing you can do right now, until we get a plate or a lead of some sort,” Ryder said, for the tenth time.
My head was throbbing with pain. Bones had put five stitches in my right temple, I’d already had a CT scan and an MRI, and they still wouldn’t let me leave. Fear and anger gripped my heart and the urgency I felt to leave the hospital and go look for my baby was massive.
“What about the police?” I asked. “Did they call back yet?”
“No, not yet. But they said they’ll put out an Amber Alert as soon as they have a description of the vehicle. It should happen any moment now.”
“It’s been two hours!” I screamed, pain slicing through my head.
“I know, babe,” Ryder said, his jaw twitching. I couldn’t believe he was holding it together like this. I’d never felt such rage.
“Call Diana!” I barked. “She needs to put this on the news.”
Bones nodded, pulling out his phone. “I’m on it.”
“Thank you,” Ryder said to him before turning to me with deep concern.
“I need you to rest,” he said. “You’re pretty beat up, babe. Your eye is swollen. You have a concussion. You have to take it easy! We’re going to find her, I promise.”
My heart cracked wide open as I saw the worry in his eyes.
I’d never seen anyone coming. I didn’t even remember what happened. I woke up in a fog with Ryder hovering over me and within seconds an ambulance arrived and whisked us both away.
And our baby was gone.
Vanished.
Abducted.
Stolen.
I’d never felt such gut wrenching pain in my life.
Ryder wrapped his arms around me as I began sobbing uncontrollably.
CHAPTER FOUR
LIBBY
“I’m so bummed he wasn’t there, but if he looks anything like Ryder, then you’re crazy,” Julia said, as we sat on the couch in our apartment, watching television and devouring a bottle of wine. We’d had a long day of shopping and running errands, and just finished a huge pot of spaghetti.
“They’re about the same size, I guess,” I shrugged, melting into the cushions. “Same amount of tattoos. But Bullet has long blonde hair.”
“Yeah, like I said, you’re fucking crazy,” she replied, shaking her head with deep disappointment. “I’d give anything to spend just one night with a guy like that.”
“Just stop,” I said. “You’ve been going on about this since we left the hospital.” We’d stopped by Good Sam hospital to see Grace and her new baby yesterday, and I’d suspected Bullet might be there.
Thankfully, I was wrong. Ryder and Grace had been alone, and Julia had been gushing about Ryder ever since.
“I just think you should call him again,” she said. “I don’t even understand why you stopped seeing him. He was blowing up your phone for weeks after you stopped.”
“I told you the same thing back then. We’re just too different. My life is here, in Portland, working at the gallery and sculpting as much as I can. That’s what I want. I’m happy, I really am. I just want to forget all of that happened. Bullet’s just a bad reminder of everything I went through.”
It was true. Julia just wouldn’t listen.
After spending every night with Bullet while he was in the hospital, and falling for him hard, we’d gone back to the clubhouse and I quickly realized how different our lives were.
And each time I looked at him, all I could see was Mona.
Mona, the woman who kidnapped me.
Mona, the woman who brought me into this world.
Mona, the woman who abandoned me and gave up all her parental rights to people she’d never even met before.
Mona, my worst nightmare.
The last thing I wanted was to think about that woman ever again.
And yet, my efforts were futile. I didn’t see any way of getting past that, and although I failed daily, I was trying my damnedest to pretend none of it ever happened.
“Hey, isn’t that your friend’s man?” Julia pointed at the television. I squinted through my wine-induced haze and tried to focus.
“What friend?” I murmured. I didn’t have many. In fact, 99.9% of my friendship circle was sitting on this couch with me.
“Whoa,” Julia whispered.
She was right, though. Ryder was on the news, standing in front of a podium in a plain black t-shirt and jeans, his face stoic and angry, his eyes full of pain.
“What the hell?” I murmured.
Slade was there too — and Riot, who I’d met at the hospital after the God’s rescued us, and again at the God’s clubhouse — standing on either side of Ryder.
“Whoever you are, please, just bring Sadie back. No questions asked. Just bring her back,” he pleaded. “There are a lot of people who love her. We need her back. Please.”
“Bring her back?” I repeated, sitting up. “Someone took the baby?”
“Holy shit,” Julia said, her eyes wide. “Look at him, he’s wrecked!”
“This is unbelievable,” I said, shaking my head.
“Who would do that? That’s horrific.” Julia asked.
My head was spinning.
Poor Ryder.
Poor Grace!
My heart broke for them.
The camera cut back to Diana. I’d met her at the hospital, too, and she’d been extremely kind to me. It was obvious why Slade was so in love with her. She was beautiful and intelligent. I’d made a point of watching her on the news every night I could since then.
“This afternoon, on the way home from the hospital, the baby’s mother was assaulted and the baby was taken from the vehicle,” Diana reported. “Surveillance video outside the Starbucks where they were parked shows a man in a suit and hat quickly opening the car door and assaulting the victim, before swiftly removing the child from the backseat. The mother was taken to the hospital and is currently in stable condition. Any witnesses or anyone with any information are asked to contact the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Department.”
“What!” I shouted. “Grace was assaulted, too? Jesus!”
They went on to play a short video of the grainy surveillance video and I crin
ged when I saw the man hit Grace and run off with the baby.
“This is awful,” I said. “Should we do something?”
“Like what?” Julia asked. “You barely know them really.”
“That’s true,” I agreed, biting my lip.
It didn’t seem right to just sit there, though.
“Besides, you’re drunk,” Julia reminded me. “And I bet they’ve got all those hot Gods on the case.”
I thought of Bullet, wondering what he was doing. He’d recovered fully and happily gone back to work with Solid Ground. It was obvious he wanted more to happen between us. If I was honest, I’d say I wanted it, too.
I just never understood how it would happen.
Like I said, we’re completely different. Our lives are polar opposites.
We might as well be living on separate planets.
And still, I felt the strongest urge to reach out to him, to Grace and Ryder, to all of them.
Instead, I took a deep breath and laid back on the couch, placing my feet in Julia’s lap, and closing my eyes.
CHAPTER FIVE
BULLET
The air was heavy with tension.
I’d never seen Ryder so enraged.
Controlled and quiet, he seethed silently, which only served to make it that much more intimidating.
I did not want to be around when he exploded.
Added to the intensity of Riot and Slade’s anger, the hospital waiting room outside of Grace’s room was a tinder box ready to ignite.
The nurses kept nervously glancing our way. Slade paced around like a stalking lion, reminding me of what it had been like to be locked in Mona’s basement with him. He’d come out of that no worse for wear and that impressed the hell out of me. I guess you could say I came out of it new and improved, considering the fact that getting shot again was actually a good thing.
Bones had done an amazing job and because the bullet dislodged the fragment that was already in there, he was able to remove both pieces and patch me back up, eliminating any risk for it doing any other harm to me.
After staying in the hospital for a few weeks to heal, I came back to the clubhouse good as new. I still didn’t believe it sometimes.
Of course, good as new didn’t mean happy.
I mean, sure I thought I would be happy, for a hot minute.
But that didn’t work out.
That didn’t work out at all.
I missed Libby something fierce, though. The days were hard, but I let my memories carry me through the worse of it. If I close my eyes, I can still feel her, still smell her, still see her smile that seemed to beam sunshine right through the cracks in my heart.
I get it, though.
She didn’t really give me an explanation, she sort of just faded away, but I knew what was up. Once she saw all the differences in our lives, it was hard to ignore.
In that basement where we met, it was just us.
In the hospital, those long weeks we spent in my room, just the two of us, talking late into the night, it was just us.
We fell for each other in a suspended moment in time.
Reality crashed into us once that was all over.
I mean, look at me, for fuck’s sake!
I live in a fucking commune with a bunch of hairy, tattooed dudes, traveling around doing covert — albeit heroic — dangerous shit.
Libby’s a brilliant, young artist, with her entire life ahead of her, there in the city.
As much as we loved each other in those stolen moments, as much as I still love her now, is there really any room for us in each other’s worlds?
No, she didn’t need to say it.
I could see it in her eyes.
I felt it in her touch when she started to pull away.
It sucked, it fucking sucked hard, but I couldn’t force her to stay.
What kind of monster would that make me?
Yeah, as much as I wanted to be a caveman, I just wasn’t that guy.
And I guess she’s not that girl.
She’s an angel. And I’m just a God.
But right now, I can’t think about her, or any of that.
Right now, we’ve got a baby to find and we’ll do whatever it takes to do so.
But I’m not the boss.
I’m just a loyal soldier, waiting for my marching orders, my broken heart breaking even more knowing how much pain Ryder and Grace are in right now.
CHAPTER SIX
MONA
“So, your name is Sadie, huh?” I whispered to the sleeping bundle on my chest. She was so tiny, so pink. Lights from the television flashed over her face, and I watched with a grin as her father begged for her safe return.
Slade stood stoically next to him, sexy as ever, of course.
Ryder looked like he was about to lose his shit, though.
I wondered where Grace was. I’d smacked her pretty hard, and I hated to do it, but there was no other way.
She’ll heal. She’ll be fine.
It was nothing compared to what she’s done to me.
Taking her daughter seemed only right.
She deserved this. She deserved to feel what I’d felt. She deserved to break, the way that I was broken back then.
I thought I’d healed over the years, but I was wrong.
After giving up my daughter, I spent another year in jail. Once I got out, I was determined to turn my life around. And I did — eventually.
But despite my success as an artist, I still chose not to find the baby I’d given up. I thought it would be better for her that way. I still believe that was the right thing to do, but I’d never have had to do that unless Grace put me in that situation in the first place. I told her I was pregnant the night she arrested me, and she still chose to put me in jail.
She’s the one who took my daughter from me.
And Libby and I both would have been fine with that decision, if she hadn’t informed me of Libby’s name.
I mean, I’d already let her go! I’d given her up to the universe, trusting in the fact that she’d been adopted by good people — that much I’d made sure of. But I didn’t want to subject her to the pain of having to allow space for me in her life.
But here we are now, with everything exposed and old wounds opened up again.
Again, because of Grace. Because she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. She told me Libby’s name and it changed everything. All the healing, all the effort I’d put into moving on — it was all erased by her.
She was paying for her mistakes now.
Taking her baby was just one more overdue payment, as far as I was concerned.
It wasn’t right that Libby and I should be going through all this pain.
Grace needed to feel it, too.
I looked down at little Sadie, her eyes closed, her face so sweet and peaceful, and it made me think of the one time I’d held Libby. Bittersweet and tender, it was my favorite memory of my entire life.
I tried to conjure up the same feelings for Sadie, but nothing at all came. There was no swelling of the heart, no love — nothing.
Gently, I laid her down on the bed, turned down the light and changed the channel, Ryder’s anguished face disappearing.
CHAPTER SEVEN
GRACE
“Ma’am, is there anyone that might have any issues with you? Anyone you’ve angered in the past that might want revenge?”
The detectives stood next to my hospital bed, paper and pen in hand as they took notes. I rolled my eyes. It was almost seven a.m. and Ryder was due to pick me up in an hour. I’d been forced to spend the night in the hospital and it was killing me.
“Of course, hundreds, probably,” I replied, my voice laced with irritation. Actually, I was beyond irritated. I wanted out of this room, but Bones was insisting I had a concussion and couldn’t leave until he cleared me this morning.
“Understood,” the man nearest me replied, nodding solemnly. “Is there any one in particular you can think of?”
I’d
been racking my brain since the moment I regained consciousness and was told the baby was gone. I thought of the people I used to work for on the police force, the dirty cops I’d exposed, all the rich men and prominent politicians I’d put behind bars, all the ones we’d taken down as Solid Ground. There were countless faces swimming in my head, but I couldn’t pick just one. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack.
“No,” I snapped, infuriated with the lack of progress they were making.
“We’ve put out an Amber Alert on the vehicle. The news is reporting about it on all the local stations to get the word out, and Ryder was just interviewed, as well. Someone will see this man and your baby, I have no doubt. We just need to be patient.”
“That’s impossible,” I said.
“I understand,” the young woman detective reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged her off, knowing if I let her touch me, I’d break down in tears.
This situation did not call for tears.
I needed to be tough and strong.
“Fuck this,” I said, throwing my feet on the ground. I padded over to the closet, grabbed my clothes and began pulling them on.
I couldn’t wait another second.
“Ma’am, you aren’t supposed to leave,” the woman said.
“I’m leaving,” I said, pulling the gown off. The man looked away politely to avoid seeing my breasts. “You can try to stop me if you want. Or, you can get out on the fucking street and go find my baby! Because that’s what I’m going to do!”
I shoved my feet in my shoes, grabbed my purse, and walked out the door.
CHAPTER EIGHT
MONA
I paced around the room, the baby in my arms. She’d been a dream, actually. She just smiled and ate and pooped and slept. She woke up every three hours and wanted to do all of that over again, but that was okay. I was used to surviving on small amounts of sleep and waking up early in the morning.
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