Julia jumped into the car a few minutes later after we both said goodbye to everyone, and Bullet was right.
She talked the entire drive.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
MONA
Portland has changed so much in the last twenty years.
The gallery across the street from where I was parked used to be a little coffee shop that I’d go to sketch and drink copious amounts of coffee when I was just getting started. Back then, I didn’t have a studio yet and my tiny apartment was cramped and noisy. I was broke as hell, and the barista would let me sit there all day and refill my cup for free, as long as I showed her what I was working on every now and then.
Now, that dirty, old, brick building has been white washed, with new, huge windows installed and completely gutted and remodeled. Now, it sported stark white walls and the original hardwood floors that were painstakingly restored to the perfect patina. Bright light from inside shone through the windows, bathing the sidewalk outside as night began to fall.
I’d been sitting in my car for two hours now, watching. Waiting.
Libby had spent most of the time just sitting at the front desk on her laptop, occasionally glancing at her phone and smiling. Her long hair fell around her face, blocking out most of it, except her nose.
She had my nose.
It’s funny, isn’t it? Fascinating, really. How your offspring can be so much like you. She was like a little mini-me. I saw so much of myself in her, even from afar.
I took a sip from the bottle next to me, the sting of the whiskey hitting my throat in a familiar way. Warm and buzzed, I melted into the feeling.
It was good to get drunk again. I’d kept myself pretty sober while I had Grace’s baby, but now that that was over, I’d fallen back on my old reliable crutch to dull the pain.
That baby had been a lot of work.
I couldn’t believe Grace had let me get away. She could have put me away again, for a lot longer this time. I had no real plan. I wouldn’t have hurt anyone, not really. Certainly not that innocent little girl.
I just wanted Grace to hurt a little, that’s all.
And she did. I saw it in her eyes.
I guess that was enough for me. And maybe she saw the pain in mine, and that was enough for her, too.
Either way, here I was.
Free and able to get close to the only reason I had left for living.
I had nothing left. Nothing but time.
And if time was all it was going to take for Libby to come around, then that was okay. I had all the time in the world.
For now, I’d have to be satisfied with this.
But I’d come up with a plan soon.
She’ll come around. Because she’s just like me, you know? She’s forgiving. I bet her heart is full of love. She’s probably patient, too.
Just like me.
And soon, she’ll see that, too.
I took another sip, sliding down into the car seat, my eyes glued on my beautiful daughter.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
LIBBY
Basically, my life consisted of three things.
Home, work, and my art studio.
I was either sleeping at home, being completely bored at work, or furiously working on my latest sculpture until the early morning hours. I had a tendency to get lost when I was working. It was hypnotizing, and I’d spend hours and hours before finally glancing at the clock in shock that so much time has passed.
But for tonight, this gallery is a dead-zone. It almost always is. Unless it’s First Thursday, which is a huge art crawl that happens on the first Thursday of each month, then it was a madhouse. The owner insisted I stay open until exactly nine-thirty every night, despite the fact that there were never any customers.
Tonight was no exception.
Usually, I spent the hours sketching, but I was distracted tonight, my first night back after my little vacation at the clubhouse. Instead, I spent the night scrolling through social media sites while I texted with Bullet, a little shiver of delight running through me each time my phone vibrated.
I couldn’t wait to get back into his arms.
Even so, I still hadn’t made a date with him. I just needed a day or two to regroup, to remind myself of who I was, to wrap my head around everything that had happened. And so far, he still hadn’t even asked again.
His respect and restraint was impressive, and I was so grateful he wasn’t pushing me.
At nine-thirty on the dot, I turned off the lights, set the alarm, and locked up. Heading out to my car, parked just a block away, I stayed focused on my surroundings and kept my eyes darting around to make sure I’d covered every corner.
Since the whole episode in Mona’s basement, I’d been extra diligent about my safety. Old Town at night wasn’t the safest place for anyone, so I kept one eye on the tweakers on the corner and one eye on my car.
I slid behind the wheel with a relieved sigh, locked the doors and turned on the lights. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out before driving away. It was Bullet, who knew I was on my way home.
Text me to let me know you got home safely, please.
I smiled as I put the car in gear and headed home, my heart swelling with love for that man. I couldn’t wait to show him just how much I missed him.
I drove home slowly, taking in the views of the city as I crossed the Burnside Bridge.
I didn’t see the car following me.
And when I arrived home and opened my curtains and windows to let my apartment air out, I didn’t see that same car park directly across the street.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
GRACE
“It’s like silk,” Ryder said.
“More like velvet,” I replied, caressing Sadie’s cheek. Her skin was like nothing I’d ever felt before and I couldn’t stop touching her and looking at her. I spent hours and hours just gazing at her, watching her little eyes try to focus, her arms and legs wiggling around.
And the sounds she was making! All the cooing and the little grunts and even the cries. Everything she did seemed to make everything inside of me turn to mush.
We couldn’t get enough of her.
After arriving home, we sequestered ourselves in our cabin after a quick hello to the crew. Ignoring the sounds of their partying late into the night, we hadn’t left the bed for more than a few minutes at a time.
Ryder had turned into the most efficient diaper changer in record time. And he was quickly becoming an expert on the meaning of every sound Sadie made. His enthusiasm and devotion left my heart swelling with love and pride for my little family.
Now that we were home, I never wanted to leave our little cocoon again. At least not for a long while.
“Wouldn’t it be nice if it was just us here?” I said, absentmindedly.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t mean forever,” I said. “It’s just that I wouldn’t mind having a little privacy, that’s all. Some quiet, just for a few days. Just you and me and Sadie and nobody else around. I know Slade’s going to knock on the door in a few hours begging to see the baby again. And Riot and Lacey will be next in line. I love them, I really do. Don’t get me wrong. I know this is our life, and I’m so grateful.”
“Of course, I understand,” Ryder said. “Of course, you want peace. We’ve gone through so much, babe.”
“Yeah,” I shrugged. “But the thought of staying in a hotel isn’t much more pleasant. Maybe after the initial infatuation with Sadie wears off, they’ll give us some peace.”
Ryder looked at me for a quick second, before reaching over and grabbing his phone from the nightstand. He punched the screen a few times and held the phone to his ear.
“Hey, Riot, I need you to book twenty rooms at a nice hotel in Portland. For a week.”
He listened for a second and smiled.
“We aren’t going anywhere. All of you are.”
He smiled over at me and my eyes widened in surprise.
�
�Yep, every single one of you. Beginning tonight,” he continued. “Tell everyone to get packed and head out. Grace and I need a little time alone. And make sure it’s a nice hotel, I don’t want to hear anyone bitching. I don’t care how much it costs. You can come back next week, enjoy a little vacation time on us. Thanks, brother. Love you.”
He hung up the phone with a proud smirk on his face.
“You’re amazing,” I said, brushing my lips against his.
“You’re welcome.”
I laughed and shook my head.
“God, I love you,” I whispered, watching him plant a kiss on Sadie’s forehead.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
BULLET
Being the unending patient lover was growing more difficult by the day. I tried to pass the hours by staying busy — working on my bike, going on hikes, spending time in the woods, but dammit, I couldn’t step one foot in those woods now without thinking of Libby.
My mind was consumed by her, and my body was pretty pissed at me at this point for ignoring it’s constant, raging desire for her. I couldn’t give it what it needed and my own hand was a woeful substitute.
I was like a walking, talking, well of emptiness.
I subsisted solely on the texts we exchanged.
I know, I know, we’ve only been away from each other for a short while, but with each hour that passes it becomes that much more excruciating.
Is this what love feels like?
Love wasn’t an emotion I was too familiar with. Oh, I’d had girlfriends here and there, but once things turned serious, I usually bolted pretty fast. It was too hard to get close to people. If I got close to someone, I’d have to talk. I’d have to talk about a bunch of shit I really didn’t want to talk about.
It was easy to hang out with a bunch of dudes who also weren’t so keen on talking about their feelings. That way, I could push all that shit away and just move on.
But once you brought a woman into the equation, somehow that shit always comes up. They always want to know why you are the way you are, and the reasons that I am the way I am are not something I really wanna explore while I’m nine inches deep inside of someone, you know?
Shit gets complicated.
Somehow, all of that doesn’t apply with Libby.
Libby doesn’t ask questions. She doesn’t pry. She doesn’t even seem like she’s trying to ‘figure me out’. She just lets me be. Hell, she thought we were so different before, and what did she do? Did she try to change me?
No, she walked away.
I mean, shit. I gotta respect that, you know?
She’s wrong, of course. I mean, it’s true that neither one of us needs to change, but I’m confident we can fit into each other’s lives and I intend to show her that.
So, when Riot announces we’re all headed to Portland for the week, I’m as happy as a kid in a candy store.
I immediately called Libby, unable to suppress my happiness.
“A week?” she asked. I could hear her smile through the phone.
“Yeah,” I said. “I know you have your life, though. I know you’re busy. I don’t expect to spend every moment together, so don’t worry. But hopefully, you can spare a few hours.”
She giggled and I couldn’t help but smile.
“I think I can spare a few minutes, at least,” she teased.
I laughed, my laughter echoing through the cabin.
“I miss you so much, a few minutes will probably be all it’ll take,” I said. “At least the first time.”
She laughed again and I reached down, gripping my twitching cock.
“I’ve gotta pack. I’ll text you once I get checked in this afternoon,” I said, practically growling with lust.
“I’ll see you soon,” she whispered, before hanging up.
“Goddamn,” I grumbled, throwing the phone on the bed.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
LIBBY
“All of them?” Julia said, her eyes wide with joy. I swear, her nipples popped up in attention when I told her the Gods were going to be in town for a week.
“Apparently. Well, except for Grace and Ryder.”
“What hotel?” she said, grabbing her phone. “I need to clear my schedule.”
“What does this have to do with you?” I said, laughing.
“Are you kidding?” she asked. “I only had sex with three of them.”
“What! Three!” I cried.
“What? I never got a full count on them either. They just kept crawling out of the woodwork, swirling around like some sort of psychedelic leather parade. Do you know how many of them there are? I might need to partner them up to get through them all.”
“Oh, my god, Julia, you are not fucking every one of the Gods!”
“Well, not all of them, no. I mean, geez, the ones that are all partnered up are off limits, obviously. God, they’re all so devoted, aren’t they? Have you seen the way Riot looks at Lacey? Or the way Wreck makes sure Frankie always has what she needs? It’s enough to make you sick, really.”
“It’s sweet,” I replied. She was right. The Gods were wild, but once they fell in love, they were all in, it was obvious. As for the others, well, they seemed to know how to have a good time, apparently.
They’d certainly put a smile on my best friend’s face.
“It is,” she said. “So, let’s see, how many does that leave?”
“Well,” I replied, doing the math. “There’s Ryder, Riot, Slade, Wreck, Bones, Eli, Nate, Fury and Ziggy, but they all have partners. Who does that leave? Colt, Vick, Storm, Wolfe, Blade, Striker and Shadow.”
“You forgot Bullet.”
“You’re not fucking Bullet, Julia!”
“I wasn’t saying that, I was just helping you with your list!” she insisted. “Jeez, you’ve claimed him completely now, have you?”
I rolled my eyes.
“No,” I shook my head. “Yes. Maybe. I don’t know!”
She laughed.
“Okay, so Colt, Vick, Storm, Wolfe, Blade, Striker and Shadow are all up for grabs,” she said. “That’s one for every night for a week. I’ve already fucked Colt, Wolfe and Striker, but I don’t mind fucking them again.”
“Jesus, Julia,” I said, shaking my head.
“Tell me something, Libby,” she said. “Would you rather me go and have a great time this week, taking advantage of a once in a lifetime opportunity, or would you rather hear me bitching about how I listened to you and it was the biggest regret of my life. Seriously, do you want to hear about this when we’re seventy and sipping tea on a porch swing somewhere?”
“I have a feeling I’m going to be hearing about it whether you do it or not.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. So, when are you seeing Bullet?”
“I don’t know. Tonight maybe.”
“If I were you, I’d be jumping on that train as soon as it arrived to the station.”
“He’s a man, Julia, not a locomotive.”
“Don’t mean it’s any less of a ride!”
“Do you ever think of anything besides sex?”
She paused, staring up at the air.
“Let me get back to you on that,” she said. “I need to cancel all my other dates and make an appointment with my waxer.”
She ran into her room and left me with an unfortunately overactive imagination that decided to torture me with scenes of Julia fucking all the Gods. She was exactly the opposite of me, but boy, did I love her.
The irony of me thinking Bullet was wrong for me because he was also the exact opposite of me was not lost as I went to my room to take a nap.
I had a long night ahead of me, I suspected.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
BULLET
I looked in my closet with dismay, feeling like a bad caricature of a woman demanding she had nothing to wear.
Only, for me, it was true.
Jeans, t-shirts and my cut and black leather boots. It was basically my uniform and I didn’t have much of a n
eed to stray too far from it. Every now and then, I’d throw on a leather jacket or a long sleeve sweatshirt.
“This is pathetic,” I said, closing the closet door. I made my way over to Riot’s cabin and stated my case.
“I want to take Libby somewhere nice,” I said.
“I got you, man,” he said. “Come with me.”
He led me to a small storage room and turned on the light. It was filled with all kinds of stuff. Wigs lined the shelves and racks of clothing were pushed up against the wall, with a huge variety of shoes stacked on the floor.
“What’s all this?”
“Just a bunch of stuff we’ve collected over the years. Sometimes, we need a disguise. Sometimes, we need to dress up.”
He pointed to a rack of tuxedos in the corner.
“How fancy do you want to get?”
“Wow, good question,” I said.
“Well, where are you taking her?”
“Shit, I don’t know, dinner, I guess.”
“No, man. That’s so basic. I mean, yeah, dinner’s great, as long as it’s somewhere nice, but you gotta go farther than that. What does she like?”
I thought about it for a minute.
“Art, I guess.”
“Well, there you go! Take her to the art museum. The museum in Portland is amazing. She’ll love it there and you’ll get serious points. Maybe they have some night exhibits you can go to. Sometimes, they have fancy parties there and stuff. Just check out their website.”
“That’s actually a really great idea, Riot, thank you.”
“Sure, man. So, tuxedo?”
I hesitated. “That might be a little extreme. How about a nice suit?”
“Good call,” he nodded, patting me on the back. “Grab whatever you want. I need to get Lacey moving before she packs up her entire closet and I gotta lug that shit up to the hotel room.”
I laughed and nodded, thanking him again, before he left me alone in the room.
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